Gackt is a babe, and my tribute from this installment, this LAST installment of Captive, goes squarely and securely to him.

I'd ask you to love him but then that'd be taking him away from me. :)

Let the flames begin. (even if that wasn't Gackt right there)

Crayon Dreams

Nighttime had settled in the storage room, making the blues black and the whites blue. A thin, almost insignificant thread of moonlight streamed down and rested upon Yumi's boot. Her legs were strewn in front of her in strange, yet comfortable ways. Nevaeh somehow found sleep lying limply across her uneven thighs, and her tiny thumb was slowly slipping away from her mouth, wrinkled and pink. Yumi was in a half-sleep state of not knowing whether she was still awake or in the presence of a thin dream. Her eyes were open to tiny slits, visions gently bordered by her eyelashes. She stared ahead without premise, no thoughts heavily concentrated on except the ones that stayed to chat for a while—just to remind her of what had happened that day.

The man had come in around noontime, dropped a box of old crayons and a stark white sheet of paper in front of Yumi. Utterly confused, Yumi foolishly glanced up at him in question. She immediately regretted it when she saw his smile, but she didn't tear her gaze away until she got an answer.

"Someone needs a present," he said plain and simple, "Some big brother needs a present—and fast,"

Yumi filled in the rest with her thoughts. If it isn't done by the time I return, there will be consequences. Reese's father left the room, but not the house. Yumi sat there, dazed for a few minutes before she jolted with realization and crawled over to Nevaeh's hiding spot.

Uneasily she had coaxed Nevaeh away from the security of the boxes out to the paper and crayons. Nevaeh, although she dared not struggle against her protector Yumi, whimpered and quietly moaned every step of the way. Yumi tried her best to be calm with the little girl, and placed the paper and a crayon in front of her. Nevaeh was just as confused as Yumi was, and looked to the older girl, wondering what she meant. Yumi forced out a smile and, as gently as she could without cracking her voice in fear, asked Nevaeh a question.

"Why don't you give your brother a…drawing, hmm? I'm sure he'll love it…,"

For a second Yumi feared it wasn't going to work as Nevaeh just continued to stare at her, making her uneasy. Those green eyes were so similar, so hauntingly the same as Reese's, and they even looked at her in the same way too. When she and Reese were not fighting or really conversing about anything else he might stare at her with that deep, dreamy sort of stare that had the strongest hint of sadness in them, perhaps telling her all the time of the terrors he must have been through. There was also something else masked by the sadness that Yumi could never exactly pinpoint but had always passed it off as some sort of admiration.

As so it was with Nevaeh's unbearable green eyes, staring at her with that same exact gaze that belonged to her brother. Perhaps it was a psychic connection between the two siblings that automatically gave them these eyes, or perhaps it was just the amount of trauma each of them faced.

No, that wasn't possible, Yumi reassured herself. Nevaeh didn't possess any of the gruesome scars that tattooed her brother's body. Still, the traumas—whatever they were—had the exact same effect on their eyes. Why was it always that that gave Yumi the awkward, downgrading feeling that they all knew something she didn't? Even this toddler girl seemed to have knowledge that Yumi failed to conceive. What was it about them?

For the first time in a long while, Nevaeh unleashed a small, bubbly smile as warm thoughts of her brother danced through her head, and she took up the crayon Yumi had placed for her and began to draw.

Yumi watched, enchanted at how uneven lines connected together to create a toddler's impression at human bodies. Each color that spilled out onto the paper had different effects and emotions for Yumi.

Yellow for summer, sun, and laughter.

Black for night, forests, and secrecy.

Orange for evenings, rest, and family.

Blue for sky, dreams, and other worlds.

Purple for friends, security, and tolerance.

Red for passion, selflessness, and love.

Green for the eyes.

Though Yumi had no desire to defile Nevaeh's picture, she complied with the toddler's requests and did what she was asked to do: the fine outline of the sun and the controlled zigzag of the grass. When all of the coloring was finished, Yumi helped Nevaeh in how to spell appropriate words for a letter—secretly telling her the spelling for "Brugger" instead of "Brother." Yumi thought for some reason that it would be more precious to Reese if she wrote that instead.

Nevaeh spelled her name correctly, though whether she was using the normal alphabet Yumi didn't know—and didn't care, personally. It was a lasting touch.

She was lost in her thoughts, and nearly jerked in surprise when Nevaeh pushed the paper at her arms. Yumi slightly lifted her stomach off of the cool concrete as suddenly a red-violet crayon was prominently in front of her face. Nevaeh was staring up at her expectantly. Yumi had only a second to think about what the little girl wanted to know what she was asking for.

"Oh, no, Nevaeh, this is your picture, I don't need to sign it, really,"

The toddler did not waver. It was as if Yumi's comment hadn't even reached her ears. A pang of regret and distant fear touched her in her heart, and she was about to repeat herself when Nevaeh spoke out.

"But you did th' sun an' the glass, an', an', and brugger won' mind."

Stupidly embarrassed and wondering why, Yumi retaliated, "But he might mind, Nevaeh, I'm not his little sister—,"

"But brugger likes yoo!"

Yumi was struck silent by this remark. Reese? Like her? Ha! Haha! What an outright lie. He likes Aelita, definitely not her. Yumi wasn't going to explain how complicated their relationship was, maybe she should just give in and write her name there in Japanese. That should suffice.

But there was still something…a spark, a flicker of light in her chest. What was it?

Hope.

Did he really?

Yumi stared in wonder at his little sister. Sure, she saw things in her brother that Yumi didn't, spent more time with him, talked with him more, and probably caught him talking about things he wouldn't normally say in front of her. And, of course, with Nevaeh's heightened toddler senses, she might just see different things in the way he acted towards her than she did. Could it really be possible?

Leaving that thought hanging, Yumi finally let go of her grudge and wrote her name neatly in Japanese, as small as she could while still having it legible underneath Nevaeh's childishly written one.

"There," Yumi said with finality, setting the crayon down and staring down at the piece. Nevaeh had drawn both her and her brother, holding hands on the flat plane of grass done by Yumi. The resemblances between the drawing and the real thing were quite accurate, going by the eyes of a toddler. Even Reese's scar was drawing in an X on his cheek in red.

Red for passion, selflessness, and love.

No.

Red for—

The door swung open without warning, and Nevaeh squealed, splitting Yumi's ears as a sudden torpedo of weight blew into her stomach. Thinking instinctively, Yumi threw her arms around Nevaeh and held her tight to her chest, scooting herself away as much as possible before he approached.

After the survival instinct came the fear, gripping first in her ribcage and attacking her lungs. It then spread, as easily as spilt water. Thorny vines of fear intertwined in her muscles and worked their gradual way to her brain. Yumi began to hyperventilate—not knowing what he was going to do or how he was going to respond seeing Nevaeh outside of her hiding.

He said nothing as he walked forward. Ever so slowly he bent down and picked the crayon drawing up, making Yumi hyperventilate faster. Yumi's fear traveled to Nevaeh and Nevaeh began to desperately muffle her whimpers and cries. Although the toddler had shielded her eyes from all sight save the ribbed cotton of Yumi's tank-top, she could literally feel the ripples and sensations of sheer horror in the air, and as Yumi's hot breath blew parts of her hair back Nevaeh's little brain calculated the direness of the situation.

Yumi watched through her red and black strands of hair as he studied the drawing, no readable expression on his face except his ever present aura of faint, dark amusement. A piercing, blinding light bulb flashed alive in her head, turning her stomach to stone.

She had written Japanese on the picture.

A brand new wave of rose-thorn fear clutched at her chest, colder and deeper this time. She winced, and tried to draw back further. They were rose vines no more, but sharp, forgotten barbed wire. Oh, if he had a fit about the Japanese she wrote, there'd be none of her left!

Why did he even hate the Japanese, the Orientals, so? Did he even have a reason other than what he was taught that when he grew up? If only she knew…

Nevaeh's father took his face away from the picture and stared down at them, still with no expression. He said nothing. Yumi froze and stared back at him, unsure of how this was going to play out. For no reason that she could grasp at the moment she hugged Nevaeh closer, pushing her against her chest even harder.

Then the smile came. He still said nothing, no words, not even sound effects. All he did was give her that all-too-familiar grin. He liked it. He liked the drawing, and for whatever use he was going to use it for it would fulfill it with grandeur. In fact, it was probably better than he had dreamed it would be. Yumi's throat undulated with gurgles under her curtain of hair, and she shrank back, wrapping her arms around Nevaeh tighter and lowering her face into her fine russet hair.

He did not move for several long minutes. Then he decidedly turned on his heel and walked back, amusement clouding around him as he opened the door, shut it, and did seemingly aimless things about the house. It wasn't long before Yumi and Nevaeh heard the car shudder to life and drive away down the street.

Either surprisingly or not, it did nothing for their nerves.

Yumi got a sick feeling in her throat, the hairs on the back of her neck prickling with an unforgettable, unforgiving sensation. It told her one thing.

Because of that picture—because of what they had done—somewhere out there Reese was screaming.

Yumi stifled a moan, dully ignoring her fever, and closed her eyes to the darkened room, wanting to move her lifeless legs but not allowing herself to do it for Nevaeh's sake. Said toddler was sound asleep, unvisited by any sort of dream or nightmare.

Within a few moments Yumi would be greatly envious of her.

Whatever colors that was there in the room seemed to blend together into one in Yumi's mind, and a dull recognition of falling asleep rested on her shoulders as her head fell down. The thread of moonlight that was perched on her boot seemed to shine brighter than ever before, and that strand of light was the last thing Yumi remembered before she plunged into darkness.

Where the hell was she?

Well, it was dark. She's got that covered. Looking at her boot proved she was not awake by the absence of the moonbeam. There were no blues around, and there was no toddler resting heavily on her thighs. Yumi looked around herself before standing up, declaring in her head that she was surrounded by nothing but darkness. And the last time that happened she—she shuddered, and pushed the awful dream from her mind. Yumi didn't want to think about something like that in a time like this.

The question of what to do now was interrupted when her vision swept over a person that wasn't there before. She gaped, swung her eyes back, and nearly fell back down with a plop.

Ulrich was there again.

Nothing, not even a hair had changed on him since the last time she really saw him two years ago. He looked just the same, unkempt brown hair, distastefully green clothes, cheap white skateboarding shoes, lean but still thin arms, deprived of their full size they should've been by the trap of pre-pubescence. The only difference was that his green eyes were now filled to the point of overflowing with horrendous sorrow. How Yumi did not know—this feature was strictly new to her. Even when Ulrich was sulking he never ever looked at her like this—nor did he look like this at all through all of the years she had known him. Reasons clawed at her from behind until she finally came up with one conclusion: his death.

That must've been it. It had to be. There should've been no other reason—but then, why was part of Yumi screaming at her that this wasn't right; there was another, better reason to this question?

Yumi opened her mouth, but no words came out. What could she say? What would she say? What was she going to say anyways? Mentally kicking herself, she closed her mouth again and winced, unable to take her eyes off of him. Then, Ulrich spoke.

"I didn't mean this,"

"Ulri—,"

"Never meant for you to end up…,"

"Ulrich…,"

"Never wanted to lie…to you, I…,"

"Lie?"

"You don't know. Of course. I can't let you know. But I want you to understand, I…,"

"Ulrich? What are you talking about?"

The young boy choked back on his saliva, and his eyes got shielded with reflection. The tears had welled up, and were about to break. Then he whipped his head away, and the soft tone in his voice changed to forced fury.

"No, nevermind. Get out of here. Get out of my sight. I can't see you anymore. You remind me too much of…," Ulrich bowed his head, and pathetically whispered to the darkness, "…me."

Yumi took a few steps toward him, wanting to help in any way she could. But, as if he was sulking back in the real world, Ulrich had put up an invisible force field.

"I said go away!" He suddenly roared, making Yumi flinch in her place. She stared at him, wondering, just wondering why this was happening. The longer she stared the more she saw, and then she caught him with tears pouring out of his eyes. Not just any type of tears either.

Red tears.

Red for passion.

"Ulrich? No, no, you're hurt, let me—,"

"There's nothing you can do." He interrupted, hoping for finality. Yumi stood up straight and defiant.

"You need to let me try!"

"You'll fail," he stated simply, "you'll only bring that upon yourself. It's not your fault. I never want it to be. Just let me be,"

"No, Ulrich!" She screamed, fear welling up inside her ribcage. She was losing him again. Visions of her giving her one last forlorn glance before he slammed the car door shot through her head again, and again, and again. Never again.

Ulrich backed away, and for every step he took she took two. A pained scowl appeared on his face finally, bringing more red tears with it. Yumi took more steps, and nearly had him.

His hand shot out before she could do anything, gripping her shoulder down to the skin, twisting it ever so painfully. Shock covered up what would've been a loud wince, and she looked to Ulrich for an explanation.

Yumi never got one.

Through means unknown Ulrich flung her aside and for a short moment she was flying, falling, then flying again. What wasn't that long of a distance seemed like a mile, and when it all ended in a flash Yumi found a boy blocking her vision, nearly black jacket to a lightly scarred neck base.

Black for secrecy.

Reese said nothing, mimicking his father from earlier in the day. Yumi stopped short and could do nothing but stare through his chest to the darkness that lay beyond. After a while she stepped back from the uncomfortably close setting so she could clearly see his broken face, knitted together at his left cheek. Though she had many times described it in her head as 'ugly' she had grown on his scar, accepting that Reese wouldn't be Reese without it. Somehow that gong rang true, whether Yumi had really known what it meant or not.

Reese still said nothing, remaining as a statue, staring blankly into her eyes. Uncontrolled shivers ran through Yumi, making it a very short time from the point of arrival to the point of Yumi breaking the unbearable silence.

"R-Reese?"

He shifted a little, and Yumi called out his name again. He flinched this time, his head dropping its gaze away from her. Right before Yumi was going to try a third time his body was rocked with irregular spasms, showing mostly at his shoulders and bent neck. Some sort of alien incantation was running past Reese's lips at a whisper, and Yumi had the urge to lean in to hear it but told herself not to. It wouldn't be within her personal bubble to do that.

The incantations continued, the more they got repeated the more flustered and desperate they became. Yumi squirmed in her place, and before long she couldn't help it and walked back up to him.

"Reese," she said, a little bit of control back in her voice, "Reese, look up at me. Now," It took a while, and Yumi was about to repeat herself on the premise that he didn't hear her when Reese looked up.

Yumi gagged and stuttered. This was not the Reese she was used to seeing. The 'normal' Reese that Yumi had come to know was dark, silent, foreboding, angry, commanding, and at certain points nasty—whether it was to her, someone else, or to himself. She knew about his soft spots rather well in fact, seeing the way he acted around his sister and the other toddlers, as well as seeing his reactions when his baby sister was in trouble.

This was not that Reese.

The irregular spasms were explained when he looked up at her, and she saw the worst scars anyone could have on their face. Tears. Reese was sobbing helplessly and endlessly, still murmuring his incantations. Yumi stared hard at him, shocked but unwilling to back away. She eventually wanted to break Reese and learn all about him and why he was the way he was, and if this was it she wasn't giving it up for nothing.

Until she listened and comprehended hard enough to actually hear him.

"Help me, oh God please help me, help me, help me, help me please, please, help me…,"

For yet another time, the age old villain Fear crawled into her chest again, this time to stay. What was…he was…saying this…Does he need…Does he need my—

Before Yumi's thoughts could finish themselves Reese's head was thrown back with unseen force, and a clean crescent of blood ripped open one slash of his X scar, the crescent flying and falling across Yumi's face, warm, thick, and soon to be sticky. She gasped and stood there for a moment just as King's Carrie had when she had been covered in blood. Reese stifled a scream for only a moment until the next force knocked him back the other way, reopening the rest of his X. The crescent from this attack didn't quite reach Yumi, but it fell so close she swore she could still feel the heat off of it. Complete silence filled the room as Reese righted his head, blood scrolling down his cheek.

Where had Yumi seen that before? It was so familiar! So familiar, so—

Reese screamed this time, as another scar somewhere on his arm ripped open, spilling red onto his jacket.

Red for selflessness.

(so familiar)

Yumi stood petrified as the unseen slashes kept coming, reopening all of Reese's scars and re-burning his pasty wrinkled skin where the stove had touched him.

(that face, so familiar)

She could think of nothing else to do. She stepped forward, closing nearly every gap between them, the only thing stopping her was that vision over his shoulder. Ulrich was facing away from her, a ghostly light surrounding him. It was obvious he was screaming as—just like Reese—he was racked with all different kinds of scars from the unseen force. The more Yumi gazed in wonder, the more she realized…

Ulrich was gaining the exact same scars that Reese was having reopened.

(you have a real knack for saving tails, don't you)

Petrified, Yumi did nothing more. She watched Ulrich flail with each new scar, feeling it every time Reese got his with his spilling blood and violent jerks.

Then, somewhere along half-way done with Reese's scars, Ulrich fell. More slashes kept tearing mercilessly at him, but he still fell, lifeless and giving up. Reese kept receiving them, screaming in utter pain now. As soon as Ulrich hit the ground Yumi screamed with Reese. It wasn't too long until the ghostly light enveloped Ulrich's corpse and he was gone.

Gone.

(erm, not really it's more of a 'leap before you look' kind of thing)

Oh God.

Oh my God.

(where is it broken)

(my heart)

Gone forever.

Yumi wanted to scream again, but subconsciously Reese interrupted her.

"GOD help me help me PLEASE HELP ME help me, oh GOD HELP ME HELP ME…!"

Yumi turned to Reese, gave no thoughts of anything but emptiness, saw the blood that had been splattered on to her, and didn't care anymore. Ulrich was gone. Reese needed help so badly. And Yumi was alone.

With no one to stop her, no thoughts to contradict her, and nothing but her heart feeling for her, Yumi gave a sob and pressed herself against Reese, bringing her arms behind him and pulling him even closer. Reese stopped for just a moment in his screams, and they lowered to a normal talking level but by no means did they lose the cry within them. He did not hug her back as more scars kept getting hit, reopened, and sabotaged. Yumi was shocked, surprised, appalled to see that he had acquired so many within his life time. Such a short lifetime…

Yumi broke down and sobbed with him.

"Reese, Reese, shut up Reese just shut up, please, don't cry oh my God Reese, don't cry like that, please!"

Reese fell, and Yumi had such an earsplitting scream that at first she didn't know it was her that was doing it. She wouldn't allow herself to be torn from him—it happened to her once, and regardless if she liked Reese or not she would not be torn from him. Yumi gripped on for dear life and fell with him.

Reese fell to his knees, sobbing, still crying out with hoarse whispers with the message 'I give up' intertwined within them. Yumi pulled him tighter and began to scold him again.

"No, Reese, don't do this, get back up, stand up dammit! Don't give up like this, don't, not like this, don't do this, not to you, no, don't do this to me Reese STAND UP!"

Reese uttered a helpless sob, and the last scar exploded on his back, then there was that awful quiet again with only Reese and Yumi sobbing. Reese was a limp and lifeless doll, and Yumi found herself supporting all of him. Before she knew it, as she was still screaming at him through her tears, she was rocking him back and forth. Back and forth. It was all just a dream. Just a dream.

Just a dream?

Reese's chant suddenly changed. Yumi jumped and listened so hard to him.

"Help…please…why won't anyone…please, just please help…I…can't…mother I couldn't…,"

For no reason Yumi turned her head to the side, seeing that they were now nearly towered by nothing but a simple gravestone. There was only the first name of 'MERIA' engraved on it, the last name scratched out to the point of unreadable. Beneath her name was chipped in a simple expected phrase.

BELOVED MOTHER AND

The 'wife', as well as the last name, had been scratched off. Red trickled down from where the 'wife' should've been, leaving it obvious what happened without dates.

Red for love.

Reese sobbed, nearly heaved, then sobbed some more, his chant done. The message was clearer to Yumi now.

And she felt bad.

What she had said to him so long ago. About his mother. The way she had just treated him in general regardless if he deserved it or not. Feeling 'bad' was hardly enough to say what kind of mixed sorrow emotions she felt, but nothing in the entire world could really describe how monstrously torn Yumi was inside.

So now she had to redeem herself. Only this time, the taste of redemption was sweet in her mouth, a fiery sort of sweet, a desiring sort of sweet.

She did not allow herself to dwell on the name this sort of redemption came from. She simple took Reese by the back of the head and the waist and pulled him even closer, resting her cheek gently on his head, never taking her eyes off of the grave. She continued to rock gently back and forth, as if he was a baby younger than his sister. He still sobbed, but for some reason the sobs didn't seem so forlorn anymore. Yumi petted back his messy russet hair, realizing that part of his face was touching her neck.

But she didn't care.

Reese was, as stated, a bastard, a jerk, an angry opponent—but there seemed to be one thing he never wanted to do again in his lifetime.

Harm her.

Maybe that was a call into the dark, but even if he did harm her, the things he would do to redeem himself…the thoughts made her wince and shudder. And as she had stupidly told him before this all happened, he made her feel safe. Somehow, Reese Anders made her feel safe. Perhaps it was because he was the only person who really, really understood what was going on. But perhaps it was something more.

The dream began to flicker and fade like an old movie tuning out. She lost her sense of color, and as it ended she heard one more thing added.

Bright red tears traced by a trembling finger, I had nothing to lose, nothing to lose…

(and yet he lost it all)

Yumi awoke with a start. Nevaeh was clinging helplessly to her body, her face pressed up against her breasts. Confusion lasted for only a moment until she saw that man's face. Then it was the spiking fear.

Two minutes later Yumi and Nevaeh were lying down in the back seat of his car, one of them whimpering and the other staring into dead space, wondering, just wondering what would happen next.

When they got out of the car near the factory Yumi knew that for at least one person today, the factory would become their burial site. She just didn't know how.

Or who.

Let's play a game. Who can spot the Gackt lyrics? Ohohoho. Stupid me used the English version. Hmmm. Let's try this: Furueru yubi de akai namida wo nazotta. Though I'm sure it didn't help. Helps for me though. I know what some of the words mean. Well. One of the words. Akai is red. HAHA! Like that helps.

By the way peeps: I'm grounded! Yaaaaay! Um. I don't know for how long, I'm going to wait it out a little bit longer until I can squeeze some adequate proof through. Hacha? HACHA.