MarySue the Outlander, a Children of the Corn fanfic

A/N: Well, after much procrastination and general laziness, I am finally updating! However, don’t expect too much; there’s only so much one can do with a parody. And since the Children of the Corn Sues almost NEVER end, this will end…kind of strange.

I also have a small note: Due to some spamming issues, I have disabled anonymous reviewing. I’m sorry to my anonymous reviewers out there; I have always appreciated your feedback, and under different circumstances, I would keep the anonymous reviewing feature on.

So, I am going to run wild here, because most fics end around this time. I know it’s bad, but hey, have you seen the fic with that Japanese chick? THAT was barf-inducing. I’m still trying to recover.

Many, many thanks to theatreChick1794, Deathrace4000, Queenofthespades, RowenaIsolde, SnuffSnuff, Opaque Opal, and SurfAngel for reviewing!

Disclaimer: Well, let’s think about this for a minute…

“I simply don’t know what to do, Chiyo!” Mary exclaimed, pacing up and down in Chiyo’s room.

Chiyo sat on the bed, playing with a loose thread or something in her bedspread. “I don’t know what to tell you, Mary. Isaac’s will is law. If he says that you are to marry him and bear his child, you have to do it.”

“Are you saying that I should just give in?!” Mary howled. But melodiously, of course.

“Honey, have you seen what Isaac’s henchmen can do?! Why else do you think Malachai carries around that knife?” Chiyo scoffed.

“Uh, for masculine reasons that have to do with an overwhelming amount of testosterone?” Mary tried.

“Well, that too,” Chiyo conceded. “But that’s not what I meant. They’ll kill you if you don’t listen, Mary!”

“I don’t care!” Mary said stubbornly. “I am no one’s slave! If Isaac wants a kid, he can go find…someone else!”

“Wow; you’re so brave!” Chiyo said in sickening admiration.

“Only compared to some,” Mary replied in a very self-assured manner.

“Hey, didn’t you get that out of The Princess Bride or something?” Chiyo asked suspiciously.

“And what if I did?” Mary snapped. “You’re not helping, Chiyo! Some friend you are. Here I am, about to be given to a disgusting little perv, and you’re talking about movies!”

Chiyo’s eyes began to tear up. “I’m sorry, Mary,” she said tearfully. “I didn’t mean to make you upset! I just…I would never have the guts to stick up to Isaac like that! I’m so scared for you!”

“Aw, thanks, sweetie,” Mary said in a horrifically bright and forgiving voice. She hugged Chiyo warmly.

A;ldng al’gjn a’j apjy apjtoJT alnga ;lgn akgcx,.zx. mdjartl jkethio dg i

Xcz,.mcm,.cvm,.cv,./cxv./mzcx cxz,.cx./ cx,.mc .m,cxmz/;./cv

The authoress apologizes for the previous mishap; upon writing such horrific fluff, she promptly lost the contents of her stomach and then cleaned it up. She prays you will continue to try and read the rest of the chapter.

Mary returned home slowly, her feet dragging. Chiyo’s concern was touching, but she was not supportive of Mary’s decision to refuse Isaac. Mary didn’t know what to do. Her main thought was to run away, but she didn’t know how she would pull that off. Her car was on the side of a road, not to mention that it didn’t work. So what would she do?

Suddenly, a hand came out of nowhere and pushed her against the wall in an alley that she had conveniently been walking past.

“Let me go, let me go!” Mary demanded, struggling against her captor. But despite her efforts, she could not escape.

“Hush, my child.”

Mary paused, fear creeping into her stomach. She knew that voice.

“EW! OMIGOD, IT’S YOU! YOU DISGUSTING LITTLE CREEP! GET OFF ME! NOW! EEP!”

Yes, my friends. Isaac had pinned Mary against a wall and was holding her there, resisting the urge to clap his hands over his ears after her outburst.

“Calm down, my child. I—“

“Isaac, do you retain, like, nothing?! What have I told you about calling me your freakin’ child?!” Mary shrieked indignantly.

“Uh…not to?” Isaac tried hopefully.

“Exactly! Now, what the hell is your problem?!” Mary asked, still in a shrill scream.

“Erm, well, I…love you! I’ve loved you from the moment Malachai brought you to me! I must have you, Mary! My loins burn for you!” Isaac cried in desperation.

“What’s going on here?” a dark and sexy voice cut in.

Both Mary and Isaac turned to see a furious looking Malachai. Mary swooned and became even limper in Isaac’s miraculously strong hold. Isaac eyed Malachai in distaste and slowly released Mary.

“I will leave her; for now. But keep in mind, Malachai, that someday, sooner or later, she will be MINE! MINE, I TELL YOU!” Isaac declared madly. Then he cleared his throat, straightening his jacket and turning back to Mary. “Until next time, my dear.”

And with that, Isaac Chroner walked off.

Malachai extended his hand to Mary, who had slumped to the ground. “Come,” he said simply.

Mary shakily accepted his hand, pulled herself up, and allowed him to gently lead her to the house.

Mary’s POV

I was so scared when Isaac pushed me up against the wall! I was afraid I’d be raped, just like Tara had been. She became a broken soul after that. She slit her wrists and drank her blood and worshipped Satan and become—gulp—emo. I was afraid I’d turn out like her.

But when Malachai came to rescue me, I felt like my heart was flying! He saved me from being violated from Isaac! And now he’s holding my hand! Eep! I feel so faint…

Malachai’s POV

I was so mad when I saw what Isaac was doing to her. I wanted to kill the little punk! But I had to control my temper; I couldn’t let Mary see my vicious streak. She wouldn’t look at me the same way ever again.

My heart went out to her when she slumped to the ground. She looked so fragile and helpless…I just couldn’t leave her. I want to hold her in my arms now, but that can never be. She belongs to Isaac. I wish she were mine.

When they came to the house, Mary went to her room to lie down after her, er, eventful afternoon. She had forgotten to close the door somehow, and she removed her shirt, prepared to change into her pajamas and sleep. Malachai, however, had been walking by, and he stopped in to look at her.

He was moved by uncontrollable lust and passion and other synonymous words. Mary felt someone looking at her and turned around. She let a little gasp escape her lips, but she made no move to cover her near-nakedness.

Malachai suddenly strode into the room and kissed her, pushing her onto the bed. Mary sighed in contentment and wound her arms around him.

A/N: Oh, Lord. And I’m about to go eat dinner, too. I just had to go and write that, didn’t I?!

So, here it is, as clichéd as I could possibly make it without having to undergo hospitalization. And yes, I'm aware that there were far too many breaks in that chapter. I hope you enjoyed (or you were at least able to stomach it)!

I suppose it goes without saying that reviews would be greatly appreciated? ;)

Cheers,

LazyChestnut

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