I know you are tired of the same Palex scenes over and over, but blame the writers. I wish they'd had focused more on Palex and less on Emma, Liberty, J.T., the adults, and Ellie . Its really sad that they have run out of ideas. I've had enough of girls flashing their breasts, unwanted pregnancies, lame fights, and randomly switching couples. Really after Rick died the only thing that kept me interested was Palex and after Alex left I quit watching as I can't stand knowing that they are going to put Paige and Spinner back together.

Anyway I got the idea for this when I rewatched Love My Way . I couldn't believe how blind Paige was. She is wondering rather to be with an ass like Spinner (who she broke up with for treating her like crap) or some guy she just met when the person who has treated her better than anyone, opened up a new side to her, and has given her a whole new insight on the world is right next to her. And then she goes and leaves Alex standing there like an idiot. A heartbroken idiot.

Just so you know this takes place after Love My Way, but Alex didn't confess like in the episode.

---

“Can you believe four guys want to go to the dance with me?” Paige asked thumbing through a catalog.

“I can believe it.” Alex replied. 'I don't want to but I can.' 'Dammit Paige. Why are you so blind, I've done everything, but come out and say it and you can't see.'

“Theres Spinner we have history, there's Jessie he's a mega hottie, there's Andrew he has great pecs, and then there's Rico, his accent is hot, so which do you like?” she asked.

'They can all burn in Hell as far as I'm concerned.' “Uh well, I'm not the best person to ask a question like this, remember lesbian?” she chuckled nervously.

“Come on Lexi, just because you are a lesbian doesn't mean you can't like guys.” Paige giggled.

“Uh it kind of does.” Alex sighed.

“Oh right, well maybe I'll ask Marco, he has good taste in men.” she said focusing on a blue dress.

'And you have horrible taste, liking men at all. I can offer you so much more'

“You know some people would have a problem being friends with a girl that you had a thing with.”

'A thing, what was I an experiment? I do have feelings you know.'

“But lucky for you I'm okay with just being friends.”

'And unlucky for you, I'm not.'

“Uh Paige listen I have to go.” Alex said trying to leave before she broke down.

“But Lexi you were going to help me pick out a dress from a catalog.”

“You don't need me, try calling Hazel or Heather Sinclair.” Alex said getting up. She tried to run to the door, but Paige stopped her.

“What is eating you?” Paige demanded.

'You, you idiot you can't see that I still love you. Damn you Paige open your eyes.' “I'm just going through a rough time.”

“Is it a girl?” Paige asked curiously.

'Yes, a stupid blonde who's standing right in front of me and can't see that I'm pouring my heart out.'

“I, I have to go.” Alex said. She ran out the door leaving Paige to stand there confused.

Later that Night

Alex lie on her bed writing poetry in one of her journals as she did every time she was upset. She had gotten a bright pink journal just for the times that she felt hurt because of Paige and would write poetry or short stories about Paige. It was almost full.

She thought that if ever she died before Paige that she'd leave her this journal in her will then Paige could read it and realize that Alex had loved her all that time. Then she'd feel like crap, the same way Alex felt right now.

A loud knock at her door broke her from her self pity. “What do you want?”

“Phone Lexi.” Jay's voice called back.

'Damn, does he live here now?' She opened the door a creak to take the cordless phone.

“That'll be five kisses.” he said.

“How about ten kicks to the balls instead.” she threatened.

“Okay 2 kisses, and you don't even have to close your eyes for one.” he bargained.

She slammed the door on his hand and grabbed the phone. “Yow son of a bitch.” he screamed. She shut the door while he threw insults at her, and she could have sworn he muttered something about Paige.

“Hello?” Paige answered.

“Alex I've been trying to get to you for an hour.” Paige greeted.

'Calm down. Breathe 1,2,3' “Oh well I've been lost in thought.”

“Oh so how are you now?” she asked.

“Oh I've been better. Just sitting her being emo, like always.” Alex replied.

Paige giggled. “Listen I”m sorry about earlier.”

'You're sorry for breaking my heart or for ignoring my love.' “Why? You didn't do anything.”

“No I've been thinking and I know why you've been acting strange around me.”

Alex's heart skipped a beat, trying not to sound shaky she responded “Yo-ou do?”

“Yes now I know why you were getting upset over those guys that wanted to go out with me.”

Alex was on top of cloud nine and floating to Heaven. “You do.”

“Yes its because you're afraid-”

'Yes! yes! yes!'

“Its because you're afraid that if I start going out with guys that our friendship will suffer.”

Alex felt herself falling back down to Earth. “Th-t-tha-ts what you think.” she stuttered.

“Don't worry hon, no matter who I end up with I'll still have time for you, nothing will change.”

'I want it to change, I want to be the one you end up with. I don't want everything to be the same. I want to tell you I love you. I want you to say it back. I want to share secrets and spend half the night giggling and eating ice cream. I want you to come to me when you have a problem. I want you to tell guys that they can go to Hell because you have someone that cares about you. I want to fall asleep in your embrace. I want to run my fingers through your hair. I want to walk the halls of Degrassi saying this is my girlfriend. I want to feel your soft lips against mine. I want us to fight and then make up. I want you to say that you'll be with me forever no matter what. Dammit Paige why are you so blind.'

“Hon, Alex, are you still there?” Paige asked. “Yoohoo Earth to Alex.”

Alex hung up the phone and let it drop to the floor. She had nothing left to say. Sighing she feel into her pillow and let her emotions take over.

Jay stuck his head in the door. “Alright I'll give you one last chance to apologize.” He looked and saw Alex sobbing on her pillow. Even a dumb-ass like Jay knew that she was hurting and it was obvious that it was because of Paige.

'Damn that girl has messed Lex up. She didn't feel a fraction this bad when she dumped me.'

Without saying anything he put a comforting hand on Alex's back. Just knowing that there was someone there made her feel better.

The Next morning

Alex looked over and saw that Jay had fallen asleep sitting up. She almost smiled. He might be the asshole that cost Jimmy his legs and basketball career, plus a sexist bastard, but times like this made him seem almost human. She was starting to think of him as an older brother figure.

Looking at the clock she saw that it was only 5:43. She had fallen asleep too early and wasn't tired. Sighing she took a hot shower to wash away her tear stained face. She dried her hair and changed into a pair of tight jeans and a sleeveless black tank top then grabbed her Paige journal.

Emily and some guy she didn't know were passed out on the floor. Chad's not going to like this one bit. Grabbing her bag and silently putting on her shoes she crept out the door.

It was incredibly cold out, but she didn't seem to notice. Silently she walked not even watching were she was going. Luckily very few people were out this early.

She wondered what life would have been like had she never gotten together with Paige. Would she still be a lesbian, did Paige bring the feelings out, would it had been someone else?

She remembered their first kiss, how it had broken a barrier in Alex's life. Nothing else mattered. She didn't care that it was with a girl, it was with Paige the person. All the years of being a punk with no purpose just vanished. And to help matters, Paige was kissing back! It was the greatest moment in her life.

Alex continued to walk around thinking. The only other girl that she had dated was Carla and she was boring as hell. Her kisses with Paige were filled with fiery passion while her kisses with Carla were like burned out firecrackers.

And it wasn't just romantic with Paige, they could be together as friends they liked and hated (mostly hated) the same things.

Of course she loved being together. The nights that Chad was drunk and Alex would stay at Paige's and embrace each other until they feel asleep, the evenings they'd cuddle on the couch, the late night phone calls, and that one time that they almost went all the way.

Had it not been for Paige she'd just be a street punk or worse end up like Spinner. And had it not been for her Paige would be the same stuck up, selfish bitch that she was before, running from guy to guy.

This had only made things worse, she had made Paige a better person and now she was going to end up with some guy that wouldn't treat her half as well that she would.

“Alex!” the voice that she had came to love called out.

Alex looked up from her pity to see Paige standing outside Degrassi. Man how long was she walking.

School was the last thing that Alex had on her mind, she thought about running, but her legs turned to gelatin.

Paige quickly made her way over to Alex. “Sweetie, what happened last night?”

“I, I'm just going through a rough time right now.” Alex partly lied. 'And you're the reason.'

“I understand.” she said putting a comforting hand on Alex's shoulder. “I've narrowed it down to either Jessie or Andrew, so which do you prefer, I know you're a lesbian, but you have to at least notice, so what do you say?”

Something burst inside Alex. “What do I think! What do I think! I think you are a stupid, selfish, conceited bitch who can't see the truth!” she shouted in Paige's face. Before storming off and leaving Paige confused.

J.T. and Toby had observed the entire scene. “Looks like Degrassi's hottest lesbian couple is having problems.” J.T. Joked. Paige glared at him and the two ran off scared.

“What is with her?” Paige wondered. She noticed a pink book lying on the ground. She picked it up and saw that it had her name on it.

In bathroom stall

Alex was busy wiping her eyes. She wondered how many people had saw her little spazz attack. Now Paige won't even want to be friends anymore. Why did she have to ruin a friendship by wanting more.

Suddenly someone knocked on her door. “Occupied.” Alex yelled.

“I know.” Paige replied.

Alex quickly opened the door. “Paige, listen about-”

Paige silenced her. “Listen hon, this isn't working out, you're going through a hard time and I'm not the best person to be around, you know after the attacks.”

“Paige, please listen.” Alex begged.

“Oh and you dropped this.” Paige said handing her the journal before leaving.

Alex could only stand there wondering 'Did she read it, does she know?'

---

And so ends this. I noticed that after the crap that was Love is a Battlefield people have been making fics were Alex shuts Paige out of her life or Paige one sided Palexs. So I wanted to do an Alex one sided Palex. I wanted to give it a “Gone with the Wind” type ending so you can wonder whether or not Paige read the journal or if its something else.