Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the characters. The title is taken from Marilyn Manson's "Eat Me Drink Me" album.

Comments are appreciated.

Note: This story now has a sequel, Tainted Dreams, link from my profile.

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Gaara sat alone on the roof of a building in Konoha, looking away at nothing in particular and idly listening to the wind playing with the chimes attached to the statue he was sitting on. The sound reminded him of the strong winds of Suna, the place he refused to call home. He was vaguely aware of Baki and another ninja watching him from a distance, but they presented no threat so he ignored them. His thoughts were consumed with the whisperings of Shukaku, restless in the face of the full moon. Gaara used all his willpower to restrain the demon who was slowly gaining control, overpowering him with his endless blood lust. He considered the possibility of killing the two shinobi watching him to satisfy the tanuki, but decided that it would be too much trouble to be worth it. Gaara sighed, trying to block out the throbbing pain in his head.

He hated being here as much as he hated everything else. When he was in Suna, everyone knew him, and they ran from him because they knew what he was. Here, they ran from him because they sensed the murderous intent behind his eyes. It was really no different. Wherever he went, all that surrounded him were lumps of flesh that hated him and feared him, even wanted to see him die. His only pleasure was in destroying those that tried to kill him and feeding the insatiable demon inside him, if only to gain a moment of silence.

He was never truly alone. No matter where he went, no matter how much he tried to hide. He could not separate himself from Shukaku, and in the years of torment since he had learned the truth, he had also learned to accept that fact. Shukaku was his only companion, the only one who would always be there with him. Shukaku needed him, if only temporarily, and Gaara had grown to see that as a twisted form of love. No one would ever see him as human, and no human would ever love him. No one had ever shown him affection, care, acknowledgement, or even tolerance. Everyone who had ever encountered him resented his existence. But at least he had Shukaku.

Shukaku was there when he was confused, always ready to give an answer, although his answers always seemed to involve the death of the offending object. Shukaku was there when Gaara felt the overpowering burden of loneliness, reminding him that he was only alone because everybody else was weak and did not deserve to exist. Shukaku was there when the village attempted to use Gaara as their weapon, telling him that it did not matter as long as there was blood to spill. Shukaku was there when the assassins came in another attempt to take Gaara’s life, putting up the impenetrable defense before effortlessly crushing the assailants.

Shukaku was always there. Sometimes Gaara spoke to him, but the responses he received were never coherent enough to be considered words, although the persistent message of blood lust was always clear. Blood could erase everything. Blood was all that mattered. Blood was the essence of life, and by spilling the blood of others Gaara saw his own existence being prolonged. As long as the blood of his enemies continued to flow, he was alive. Nothing else existed in his world. There was no family, no friends, no comrades or loyalties, no one who depended on him and no one he could depend on.

Gaara loved only himself and that was all he needed. He cared nothing for the world that wished to erase his existence. He refused to acknowledge the pain that forever lingered in his chest, the resentment that grew inside him every time he saw the happiness of lovers, the hate he felt when he heard his siblings laughing together and stopping abruptly whenever he was around, the overpowering despair when he sat alone each sleepless night with nothing but a demon to keep him company.

As Gaara continued to ignore his thoughts, the sound of distant footsteps caught his attention. By the amount of chakra and the way it was being controlled, he could tell that the person approaching was a shinobi. Gaara’s gaze shifted to the ground as he waited, remaining motionless on his spot. He watched as a pink-haired kunoichi appeared in the distance, walking towards his position. Gaara saw her eyes lift to him and he understood that she had sensed him as well. She made no indication that she was disturbed or otherwise interested in his presence as she continued to walk, turning her gaze away from him.

Gaara observed with indifference as she came closer, her head hanging as if immersed in thought. He recognized her as one of the shinobi who were with the Uchiha, but she seemed weak and did not peak his interest. He could tell that she had tremendous chakra control, but he also knew that she did not know how to use it properly, and therefore presented no threat to him. Gaara could tell that she was not enough to satisfy Shukaku, and he turned away, deciding to ignore her presence as she seemed to be doing with him. Out of the corner of his eye he could still see her as she walked some distance away, sitting down on a bench hidden in the shadows.

In the back of his mind, Gaara wondered why she was not running from him. But Shukaku’s relentless whispering drove those thoughts away, forcing him to concentrate on pacifying the demon. He drifted into an almost meditative state, just listening to the wind rustling around him. As he considered leaving to seek some solitude, he was interrupted again by the appearance of another chakra presence. This one seemed more hostile, and Gaara could feel Shukaku stir inside him at the prospect of a fight. Gaara waited as the other nin approached, making no apparent effort to hide his presence. He looked at him out of the corner of his eye as the nin bearing the symbol of Otogakure started to speak.

“What do you want?” Gaara asked coldly, waiting for confirmation that this person intended to attack him before allowing Shukaku to rip him apart.

Gaara listened as Dosu continued to ramble something about the Uchiha, the only thing registering in his mind being the open threat directed towards him. Slowly Gaara stood up, a cruel grin spreading on his face.

“He gets blood thirsty during the full moon,” Gaara spoke in a low voice, almost turning into a growl as he began to transform.

The fear rising in the Sound nin’s eyes and the scream escaping his lips only fueled Shukaku’s sadistic desire. He rushed at Dosu, who seemed paralyzed with terror, and in the blink of an eye it was over. The sand absorbed every droplet of blood hungrily as Shukaku’s form subsided, leaving Gaara panting by the motionless remnants of Dosu’s body.

As Gaara slowly regained control of his consciousness, his gaze shifted to the bench where the pink-haired kunoichi still sat silently. He wondered why she had not run after seeing what he did. From his position, he could not see her face, and he imagined that she was probably trembling in fear. Slowly Gaara stood up, gazing into the distance towards Baki and the other nin. He could sense the presence of a spy, but he made no move to do anything about it, simply waiting until all three were gone.

When Gaara was sure nobody else was around, he jumped down to the ground, landing several feet in front of the bench where the kunoichi still sat. Through the darkness he saw her look up at him, and as her gaze fell on his face, her eyes were illuminated by the moon, revealing the fear veiled behind her feigned passive look. But despite that, she remained resolutely still, just looking at him. Gaara frowned slightly.

“Why didn’t you run?” he asked, his voice revealing a hint of irritation. She had aroused his curiosity while Shukaku remained distinctly uninterested. This was strange to him.

“Why should I?” she countered with a question, clearly fighting to keep her passive expression as Gaara took a step towards her.

“You saw me kill him,” Gaara answered evenly. “I can kill you just as easily.”

“Why would you?” she asked again, her voice revealing a slight tremble.

“I don’t need a reason,” Gaara replied with a smirk. “I can kill you just to watch you bleed.”

“You haven’t killed me yet,” she answered with a slight shrug.

“I can see that you’re afraid of me,” Gaara stated, choosing to ignore her comment.

“I have a feeling you’re used to that,” she said with a slight edge to her voice.

“Hn,” was Gaara’s only reply as he considered her, wondering why she was so daring.

She said nothing else as he stood in front of her, waiting for him to do something. Gaara’s eyes narrowed as he watched her, trying to understand his confusion. For some reason Shukaku was not telling him to kill her, perhaps because she was too weak. He could clearly see her fear, a look he was all too familiar with. And yet, she remained in front of him, as if defying him by her very presence. It made him curious. He wanted to know why. Slowly Gaara moved towards her, watching her tremble but still remain sitting in her spot as he came within a step of her. He looked down at her, finally seeing her face properly. He saw her eyes flick to the scar on his forehead for a moment before locking on his gaze.

“Do you want me to run from you?” she asked suddenly, a hint of a smile on her lips.

Gaara looked at her in surprise. No one ever asked him what he wanted. It felt strange, even though her question was ridiculous. He shrugged.

“Everyone does,” he answered simply.

“Then wouldn’t you rather I stay?” she asked softly.

“Why would you?” he threw back her earlier question.

“Maybe I’m just testing myself,” she answered quietly, not entirely sure of the answer herself. “You are stronger than anyone I’ve ever seen. I’m the weakest on my team. But you didn’t ignore me like they do.”

“Only because you didn’t run,” Gaara admitted without really meaning to.

“Then maybe we both have something to offer each other,” she said gently. “Why don’t you sit, Gaara?”

Gaara looked at her for a moment before his body seemed to move of its own accord, removing his gourd and sitting down on the bench next to her. He looked straight ahead, but he could see her out of the corner of his eye.

“I’m Sakura, by the way,” she said, seeming to relax slightly.

“I don’t care,” Gaara answered indifferently.

Sakura nodded, falling silent, trying to find something to say. She was terrified to be in his presence, but she was determined to overcome her fear. The last few days had shown her how weak she really was, and she knew she had to change that. This was the perfect opportunity for her to show her strength, remaining next to Gaara when nobody else would, even being able to speak with him and seeming to arouse his interest. Whatever the outcome, she wanted to see where this would lead, she would not be the one to back down. Sakura turned towards him slightly, trying to find some expression in his passive face.

“Why do you have that kanji?” she asked suddenly, seeing Gaara tense up immediately at those words. He turned his head a fraction towards her.

“Because I love only myself,” he answered, the hate seeping through his voice. “Why are you weak?” he added, before she could say anything else.

“I guess I don’t have enough motivation,” Sakura answered with a shrug.

“You don't have enough hatred,” Gaara stated.

“Maybe,” she answered, smiling slightly. “Why do you love only yourself?” she added quickly, turning the conversation back.

“Because nobody else does,” he answered simply.

“Should they?” Sakura asked, making Gaara looked over at her, his eyes widening slightly.

“I’m a monster,” he replied, unable to say anything else. “I exist only to kill. Love doesn’t matter.”

“I can see the pain in your eyes,” Sakura said sadly. “I’ve seen that loneliness before. You want someone to notice you, to love you.”

“Nobody ever would,” Gaara answered, his voice suddenly uncertain.

“You never know,” Sakura said, trying to smile again but managing only a weak sort of smirk.

“No,” Gaara said, firmer this time, shaking his head. “Love makes you weak. Caring for others makes you weak. I fight only for myself.”

“What if somebody else fought for you?” she asked tentatively. “You would be stronger.”

“I need no one,” he answered evenly. “No one can defeat me.”

“You may be right,” Sakura answered with a sigh. “But you’re here. You don’t really want to be alone, do you?”

“Only because you didn’t run,” Gaara said again, avoiding her question.

“I won’t run from you, Gaara,” she said softly.

“I can still kill you,” he replied, tilting his head to the side slightly as he looked at her.

“Would you kill me if I ran?” she asked with a small smile.

“Maybe,” he answered indifferently.

“And if I stay?”

Gaara only shrugged in response.

“I don’t think you will,” Sakura said softly.

“Naze?” he asked, his brow creasing slightly.

“Because tonight I can give you something that you are too afraid to ask for,” Sakura said boldly. “For just one night, I can stay with you, and we can pretend. Pretend that I know who you really are and I’m not afraid of you. Pretend that you’re here because you care about me. Pretend that we need each other.”

“Naze?” Gaara asked again, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Because you have something I don’t, and I have something you don’t,” she spoke quietly. “Because we can never understand each other, but we have what the other wishes could be possible. Because for one night, we can pretend that together we can make a whole.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he answered, the icy touch returning to his voice, even as he leaned towards her unconsciously. “I don’t care and you are afraid. You’re still weak and I’m still alone.”

“Just pretend,” Sakura whispered as she mimicked his gesture, moving closer to him.

“It’s a lie,” Gaara said bluntly. “I’ll kill you if you get in my way.”

“Not tonight,” she answered, and he could feel the warmth of her breath against his skin as she spoke.

Gaara remained motionless, watching as Sakura leaned towards him, the fear rising in her eyes. She wasn’t sure what made her do it. Maybe she was just trying to prove that she could do what nobody else could. Or maybe she really wanted to relieve his loneliness, if just for one night. But before she could analyze her actions, her lips brushed against his in a tentative kiss. Gaara remained unyielding, but did not move back as she pressed closer to him, resting her hands against his chest. When she pulled back from him, her hands remained on his chest as she looked at him with barely concealed longing. Gaara considered her silently for several long moments.

“You are warm,” he said finally. “Why are you so warm?”

“I have something you don’t,” she answered simply. “But tonight, I can make you warm.”

“I can make you cold,” he responded, smirking slightly as he added in a lower tone, “forever.”

Sakura gasped softly and had to restrain herself from pulling away from him.

“Why don’t you run now?” Gaara said quietly, his eyes narrowing slightly.

“No,” she answered resolutely.

Slowly, cautiously she leaned towards him again, her nose brushing against his as she came closer. Once again, Gaara made no move to pull away, and she allowed her lips to touch his again. She could hear the rustling of sand on the ground, but it did not appear to be moving towards her, so she tried to ignore it, not letting herself imagine what it could do to her. Gaara watched her uncertainly, feeling the warmth of her skin radiate through his body as Shukaku finally stirred inside him, his attention aroused by this closeness. The thoughts seemed to crash in Gaara’s mind, Shukaku’s blood lust mixing with feelings he could not even begin to comprehend. Sakura’s hands grasped at his shirt, a sob catching in her throat as he remained rigid. She pulled back slowly, but when her eyes met his she gasped, seeing the burning intensity in his gaze.

“I will taint you forever,” he said cruelly. “You will not be able to touch anyone without thinking of me.”

“And what will I do to you?” she asked breathlessly.

“Nothing,” he answered coldly, his lips twisting into a smirk.

Before Sakura could respond, Gaara’s hands came up and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him. She drew in a breath, the fear in her eyes turning to panic as she saw his eyes glimmering with blood lust. It was the same look she saw during the preliminary fights, only somehow more sinister.

“I could crush you so easily,” Gaara breathed against her.

He could feel Sakura tremble as his arms tightened around her form, his eyes burning a little brighter at her reaction. His hand travelled up along her back before reaching around and wrapping his fingers around her neck. Sakura gasped as Gaara suddenly pushed her down, forcing her to lie back on the bench, carelessly bruising her body with the impact. He pinned her down, lying on top of her, feeling the increased rate of her pulse under his fingertips. Gaara moved closer until his lips brushed against hers.

“It’s too late for you to run now,” he hissed, his breath ghosting over her skin. “You’re mine.”

“I’m yours, Gaara” Sakura answered obediently, even though her voice trembled in fear.

Gaara captured her lips with an animalistic ferocity, making a soft whimper escape Sakura’s throat. His fingers bruised her skin as he held her down, his teeth grazing her lip before drawing it into his mouth and teasing it with his tongue. Sakura moaned against him, her eyes sliding shut. Gaara released her tender lip as Sakura wrapped her arms around him, running her hands down his back absently. He trailed his tongue along her lips, coaxing them apart before slipping his tongue into her mouth. Sakura gasped softly, but she surrendered, allowing him to explore her mouth, her tongue brushing against his, entwining in a silent battle.

After what seemed like an eternity, Gaara pulled back. She heard him growl under his breath as his hands travelled along her body, exploring her curves while Sakura’s fingers grasped at the fabric of his shirt behind his back. Gaara’s hands glided along her thighs, her arms, her neck, anywhere her skin was exposed. He leaned closer to run his tongue along her neck, tracing up to her ear.

“So warm,” he breathed, his voice low in her ear. “You feel like blood.”

Gaara’s lips spread in a maniacal grin as he heard her gasp at his words. Sakura’s arms tightened around him slightly, fighting off the urge to push him away and pulling him closer instead. She felt sand wrapping around her legs in tight spirals and she whimpered slightly while Gaara began to place light bites along her neck. Sakura ran her hands along his back, sliding to the bottom of his shirt and allowing her fingers to pull up the material slightly, brushing against his cold skin. She felt him stiffen at the touch, but he did nothing to stop her. Her hands moved under Gaara’s shirt, gliding along his skin, burning him with her touch.

“What does it feel like to be in the arms of a monster?” Gaara hissed against her shoulder.

“Warm,” Sakura replied with a small smile as she pressed against him.

His lips bruised her neck, pulling the fabric of her dress back to trail his marks along her shoulder and collarbone. Her moans echoed in the darkness, swallowed by the whispering of the wind around them. The hard wood of the bench dug into her back, his fingers left stinging lines along her skin, his teeth made small droplets of blood rise up wherever he marked her. She trembled in his arms, but only pressed him closer. He pulled back to look at her, his intense gaze seeming to burrow through to her soul.

“I will break you,” he said coldly.

“You already have,” she answered, her voice barely audible.

Gaara pressed his lips against hers in response as Sakura let out a soft sigh. They remained tangled together as he marked her skin carelessly, ignoring her whimpers and soft cries of protest. Her body still trembled, not sure why she was there, not sure why she let him do this. She didn’t know who he really was, she didn’t know if he would kill her. But she pretended. For one night, she pretended that he was there for her, that he cared about her, that he needed her, even as he whispered things that chilled her blood. Gaara could sense her fear, and he wondered vaguely why he was not killing her. It made no difference that she was there willingly. She did not relieve his loneliness, even as her arms wrapped around him, even as she moaned his name with an unfamiliar passion. But he pretended that it could be something else, that she would not leave him in the morning.

They had shown each other something that could’ve been, and when the first rays of the sun began to color the sky, it only made the pain worse.

Gaara pulled back from Sakura, sitting up slowly and looking down at her. His eyes travelled over all the bruised and bloodied marks left on her body, evidence of his weakness, reminder of her strength. She had offered him something, but instead she had taken from him. The reality of his loneliness became only sharper as she sat up and looked at him sadly. Sakura had to suppress a sob when their eyes met. She knew that she would never forget him and no one would ever be able to take his place. He had tainted her, just like he promised, he had left his mark on her forever.

“You should’ve ran,” Gaara said quietly. “I still don’t care and you’re still afraid. You’re still weak and I’m still alone.”

“Gaara…” Sakura whispered, reaching out and brushing her fingertips over his cheek lightly before retracting her hand. “I would’ve loved you.”

“I wouldn’t,” he said as he stood up and began to walk away from her. Tears sparkled in Sakura’s eyes as she watched him go in silence. When Gaara was a few steps away he stopped, turning to look at her over his shoulder. “But I would’ve let you.”