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First of all I d´like to say a few things before you start reading. First is that this is not a normal fanfics of “Yes, Minister”. I am playing with my favourite character, and putting him in situations that you might not like. This character is Sir Humphrey Appleby. So, if you don’t like to see him in “different situations” don’t read it.
Second. I am trying put some humour here. I don’t know if I will do it well, because this is a little dramatic. But probably you will find the whole situation very funny.
If you have some problem with the story, or want to give me some suggestion PM me. By the way, if you don’t like it, don’t read it. I am not accepting flams. As I said, if you have some problem with the story then PM me.
Third: There will be some grammar mistakes. I apologize for that. English is not my mother language.
“Good Morning, Minister! How was your weekend?”
“It was quite busy.” Hacker said.
“Oh you look very tired…work that much is not good for your health Minister. I am sure the Party knows this.”
“Can we not talk about the Party, Humphrey?” Jim asked in a bitter tone.
Humphrey´s eyebrows rose in surprise. But then a grin appeared on his face.
“I see Minister”
“Anyway, what do you want?”
“Well, I was wondering if you have knowledge about the little party in the French Embassy?
“Well, Humphrey, I wouldn’t say it is “a little party”. It is rather big actually. Even the PM is going to it. Thanks God it is just next week…”
“I beg your pardon?” Sir Humphrey asked. Jim looked up to him
“Well the party its just next week isn’t it?”
“Well, actually Minister the party is on Thursday night”
Jim seemed confuse for some moments but then he says
“Whatever. I’ll be there. And I trust you will be there too, wont you, Humphrey?
“Obviously Minister” Humphrey said with his usual smirk
“I wouldn’t expect anything else…” Jim Hacker whispered
“Sir Humphrey…are you alright? I mean are you feeling well?
“Yes I am quite well, Bernard. But I do appreciate you attention” He answered hastily. Bernard looked at him with surprise. He had never heard Sir Humphrey speaking that way with anyone. Not even the Minister.
Jim Hacker was having a very interesting conversation with a French diplomat
“Oui oui, I must say that we are very proud of our extern politics…” And then he saw Humphrey and Bernard. “Well I have a little problem to solve, so please excuse me…
“Oh, finally! I´ve to tell you something, this French chaps are more boring that a session in the House…”
Bernard chuckled but Humphrey´s face continued like a cold mask. Hacker looked at Humphrey and then at Bernard, and whispered into Bernard´s ears
“What´s the matter with Humphrey?”
“I don’t know Minister…he is like this since the beginning.”
“You mean he arrived like this?”
“Yes Minister”
Jim thought for a moment. And then he started to laugh. Really laugh. Bernard seemed confuse.
“What Minister?”
“Come here…come” They went to a corner of the room, where no one could heard them.
“May I ask you something Bernard?”
“Yes of course Minister.”
“Are you marriage?”
“No, I am not”
“Well I should have thought, otherwise you would have understand what is the matter with Humphrey”
“Would I?”
“Oh Yes…You see, when a man like Humphrey came to this kind of party with that look on his face it just can mean two things: Either he is about to being fired, or he has problems with women. And since Humphrey is my permanent secretary and I cant fired him…”
“So his problem is with his marriage…? “
“Exactly! Do not worry! Every marriage man got through that! It´s just Humphrey´s time! He will get through it…
“Well I hope he get through it before Monday. Lord knows what happen if he goes with this mood for the office. “
Jim started to laugh again but when he heard this statement his laugh died.
“Oh Dear God!”
For the first time, Jim Hacker was correct. Sir Humphrey´s problem were indeed his wife. They had had a big fight, right before he left for the party.
“Women” He thought. “Always get us trouble when it is the last thing we need!”
Jim Hacker and Bernard returned to his side. Hacker was with a glass of wine and was laughing. Bernard had a shy smile on his face. Sir Humphrey had the feeling they were laughing at him.
However any thoughts they could have at the moment were slightly erased by a vision. The three of them turned their heads to the door to see the most charming creature appearing from the outside.
She was blonde and had blue eyes. She was beautiful. Probably she was 30 or later twenties. But no doubt she was lovely.
Jim Hacker gasped. Bernard let his mouth drop open, and even Sir Humphrey was stunned and bewitched by this creature.
“Who. Is. She?” Jim Hacker asked
“I believe she is the daughter of the Minister of the Defence” Bernard answered without taking his eyes of the girl.
“The old Paul?”
“Yes Minister”
The girl was indeed with her father. The Minister of Defence took her to introduce her to the Jim Hacker and the other two.
“ Helena, this is the Minister of the Administration Affairs. Jim Hacker.”
“How do you do?”
“And this is Bernard Woolley the Minister’s Principal Private Secretary”
“How do you do?”
“And this is Sir Humphrey Appleby, the Minister’s Permanent Secretary”
“How do you do, Miss Brooke?”
“I´m quite well, thank you Sir Humphrey.”
“I believe you are a lawyer, am I correct?” Bernard asked her
“Yes. Yes I am. I’m working at my uncle’s office.”
“Your father must be very proud” Stated Hacker and Minister Paul answered
“Yes I am. She is doing very good according my brother”
“You attended in Oxford, haven’t you? “
“Yes I have” This information seemed to interest Sir Humphrey
“Indeed?” He asked
“Oh, I almost forgot. Sir Humphrey and Bernard attended in Oxford either.” Her father stated.
“Oh…Actually I know that. Sir Humphrey is a legend in Oxford.” For the first time in years, Sir Humphrey blushed.
“Oh, indeed?” Jim Hacker asked
“Yes. He was very well-know especially for his debates. And he still is very well-known.”
“You’re too kind, Miss Brooke.” Humphrey muttered
“I only speak the truth” Humphrey looked at his feet. Bernard was observing him. In this situation, the “normal Humphrey” would have said something like: “Oh Yes I know, but thanks for pointing that”…Now he was being modest.
Suddenly the music started. Some pairs started to dance, like the Minister Jim and his wife Annie.
Sir Humphrey was searching for the bar, when he felt someone grab his hand. It was Helena.
“Miss Brooke…” But he didn’t finish the sentence.
“I was wondering if you would like to dance with me.”
Humphrey blushed again
“Well…I…usually is the gentleman who invites the lady.”
“We both know you would never do that.” She smiled. And her smiled made him smile. A genuine smile, and not his usual smirk or grin.
He took her hand, made a little bow and said
“Would you give me this honour?”
“Yes, of course”
And then they dance. It seemed like hours. His hand was on her waist and hers was on his shoulder. They were talking and smiling to each other
Jim Hacker saw them and immediately run to Bernard
“What in Gods name is that?”
“That what Minister?”
“That!” He said pointing to the couple
“Well Minister “that” is Sir Humphrey and Miss. Brooke dancing”
Hacker sighed exasperated
“Yes I do know that. But how is she dancing with him?”
“Well I believe its waltz.”
“They are dancing together” Hacker hissed “Holding each other! IT´S Humphrey!
“Yes Minister I know. I work with him too”
“Bernard…this is not normal”
Bernard chuckled
“I don’t see why. Sir Humphrey is dancing with a woman. What’s the problem?”
“Forget it, Bernard. Forget it”
Shortly after this, the waltz ended and they went dinner. Humphrey and Helena sited side to side and talked. Neither Humphrey nor Helena spoke with anyone else during the dinner.
“Yes, I totally agree with you, I think that our extern politics are totally misunderstood…”
Hacker and Bernard continued watching them. Jim whispered
“Since when Humphrey talk about politics with a woman?
In the end of the dinner, people were already leaving, Hacker, Annie and Bernard were with Humphrey and Helena at the door.
“Do you need a ride to somewhere else, Bernard?”
“No I have my car near.”
Humphrey muttered to Helena
“Do you need me to take you to your house?”
“Ah…well I will just catch a taxi. My father brought me here, but he received some call from the office and he left. I said I would catch a taxi”
“No, no I take you home. “
“I don’t want you to bother”
“It is no bother at all. I insist. “He said before she could argue.
“In that case, you don’t leave me much choice.”
“I´m glad I don’t.”
She smiled and he took her to his car. Humphrey opened the door for her, as a gentleman should do.
Helena told him where her house was and he took her. They didn’t say a single word in the road.
When they arrived Humphrey opened the door. Helena lived in a flat in the centre of London.
“Would you like to drink something? I have a very good sherry.”
Humphrey opened his mouth to refuse, but then he accepted
“Ah…yes. Why not?”
They went to her flat. They sited. And they continued their talk during some moments.
“Oh dear!” Sir Humphrey said looking at his watch “Look at the time…it’s very late for me…I really have to go”
“Oh…I didn’t even notice it was so late. I am sorry for distract you Sir Humphrey”
“Not at all. It was very pleasant evening.” They rose. Helena led him to the door
“I really appreciate this evening Sir Humphrey. Thank you”
“It is me who has to thank, Miss Brooke.”
Their eyes meet. Helena’s blue ones and Humphrey´s brown. Slowly she approached him. Her hand was on his cheek and all his senses were asking: “What the hell is she doing?!”
But without realize he approached her too, and finally his lips meet hers, and they kiss each other in a tender kiss.
The door already open was close by Helena, and after a few moments of kissing she take of his night jacket.
“I am obviously not in control here” Humphrey thought. So he kissed her deeply. She moaned, and led him to the bedroom.
A/N: If you want to say something nice or constructive, review. If you don´t...then dont.