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He sat on the edge of the bed and with tears streaming down his face he aimed the gun towards his head and fired…

The gun clicked, Nick opened his eyes and quickly checked the barrel of the gun, it was empty, there were no bullets, he quickly jumped off the bed and threw the gun away. He began to pace up and down his room, what was he doing? Why did he think that taking his life would save him? Nick’s mind was racing with plenty of thoughts and questions but he somehow failed to formulate any answers. Nick paced up and down furiously trying to think why he would take his own life. He wept at the thought that he could inflict such pain on his friends and family. He knew how each of his friends would react:

Grissom would remain professional but inside he would be hurting. Nick knew from his kidnapping that Grissom built a barrier around him so that he would not let anyone in, so that no one could hurt him.

Catherine would try and keep the team together while Grissom would hide away in his office. She would however be grieving the loss of what could only be described as a son too her. Nick knew they formed a close bond over the years, she always knew when something was up with him. He knew that he would have to try and hide his pain when he went back to work.

Sara would be devastated but she would be angry at Nick for taking his life. She had endured enough heartache as a child and now one of her friends could not bear to be with her.

Greg would be his usual happy self but inside he would be aching, Greg like Grissom built a barrier around him. Humour was a defence mechanism for coping with the horrors of the job. Everyone would know that it was just a front and eventually Catherine would comfort him as he drowned his sorrows.

Warrick would be hit the hardest, it would be down to Grissom and Greg to prevent him from delving back into his past and gamble. Warrick would mourn the loss of his best friend. He would become solemn and withdrawn and would feel guilty for not being there.

They would all however have one question… Why? Why would Nick kill himself? They would all feel guilty in their own way for not being here. They would all wonder if they could have helped him get through whatever problem he was suffering from.

Nick felt disgusted with himself, he was angry for ever considering to end it all. Nick stood up and exited the bedroom he grabbed another bottle of vodka from the kitchen and sat down on the floor. He knew he did not want to die but he head to forget, he had to forget the smell, the taste, the feel and the weight of his intruder. He drank as much of the bottle as he could before falling into a drunken sleep.

Back at the lab Grissom and Catherine went through Nick’s work from the previous night hoping to solve the case before he was better. They worked in silence both worried about Nick. They did not believe Nick when he phoned but they could do nothing except wait. Wait for Nick to come to them. At that moment Warrick walked in and smiled at them, noticing the look of worry on both faces he looked at them:

“Hey what’s up?”

Catherine looked up and stared at him

“Oh nothing Nick called in sick”

“Is he ok?”

“Oh yeah he said he is fine, just a stomach bug”

“But…?”

“Well me and Grissom went to his house but when I tried the key he has something jamming the door plus he never phoned until after his shift was meant to have started”

“Do you want me to go round and see him?” Warrick asked

Grissom quickly responded:

“No we are one down and a Brass has just responded to a multiple in Henderson, I want you and Greg to deal with it”.

Warrick nodded and began to head out of the evidence room

“Take Sara if it looks bad” Grissom shouted, Warrick waved his hand in response and headed to the scene.

Nick opened his eyes and his whole kitchen was spinning, everything was blurry and felt sick, it took him a few minutes to gain focus but he suddenly began to panic, a tall dark shadow looked down at Nick smiling at him. He quickly tried to stand up but he was pushed down to the floor. He was back and was on top of him, Nick tried to struggle but the smell and feel of him on top of Nick overwhelmed him. He could not move and began to panic when his jeans were pulled off…

Nick woke up screaming and quickly ran to the toilet to be sick. He sat there breathing very quickly and sweating trying desperately to calm down. He could still feel the drink inside him and was still feeling slightly woozy so he remained in the toilet until he felt better.

Nick checked the time, it had been almost a full 24 hours since his attack and he could not cope with the fact that in another 16 hours he would have to go back to work and face his friends. He was scared to face them, he did not know what he would say to them, would he tell them the truth? Or would he keep quiet? He finally decided that he would keep quiet, they would not understand, how could they? Nick knew that if they found out they would treat him like a kid, that was something he could not handle.

As soon as Nick felt better he stood up and headed towards his room, but as soon as he walked in he could not cope, he felt sick again. He could not stay in that room. He walked into the spare bedroom and felt a little bit safer. He slipped under the covers and quickly fell asleep however it was not peaceful.

Warrick, Greg and Sara jumped out of the SUV and ducked under the crime tape, they walked straight over to Brass who was taking a statement from the person who found the body. Brass stopped talking and walked over to the CSI’S.

“Hey Jim what we got?”

“4 dead, one on route to hospital”

“How he doing?” Sara asked

“The kid is in pretty bad shape, medics don’t know if he will make it”

Warrick surveyed the scene and headed into the house, Greg and Sara followed.

“Hey Brass where are they?”

“They are all in the parents room at the end of the hall”

“That’s weird” Greg replied

They walked too the end of the hall and stepped into the parent’s bedroom, blood spatter covered the walls as the bodies lay on a heap near the base of the bed. There was a huge pool of blood where the bodies lay and another pool of blood on the bed.

“What is Sara” responded

“Why is there a huge pool of blood on the bed when it seems all the vics were killed over there”

At that Brass jumped in

“The kid that survived was found on the bed”

“What age was the kid?” Warrick asked

“21, he was home for the weekend from university”

“So why was he on the bed when the rest of his family were on the floor” Greg asked, immediately once he said it he realised

“OH”

“Yeah it appears as though the kid was sexually assaulted”

“In front of his family” Greg shouted “That’s sick”

Brass nodded his head and left them to it.

Nick was having another nightmare and woke up soaking with sweat and fear in his eyes, it took him a few minutes to calm down but fear took over when he heard someone at his front door. Nick jumped out of bed and crouched down on the floor so that no one could see him. He waited for a few minutes before heading to the front door, he looked through the peep hole and saw nothing. Unlocking the door and moving the chair away he gently opened the door. Nick noticed a note and a rose attached to his door, he picked it up and read the note before quickly dropping it, slamming the door shut and jamming the chair against it. Nick backed away frightened and scared before picking the note up again, blinking back tears Nick stared at the note:

“To my friend Nick, enjoyed last night, see you around”

Nick walked straight to the kitchen and grabbed the last of the vodka.

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