Me: Ah the short oneshot… This was something I was inspired to write during French class. Mewt got our teacher an easy button, and everyone was pressing it whenever she told us to answer in French… Hm… It was fun!

Kaito: Your poor teacher…

Me: Hey, she thought it was funny!

Kaito: Your poor teacher…

Me: Oh shuttup, Kai-chan.

Kaito: How many times do I have to tell you to STOP CALLING ME THAT?!
Me: More than once, certainly.

Kaito: …OK, I’m going to go find Mizu now.

Me: Ah, the joys of torturing dearest Kaito-kun…

Kaito: I heard that!

Me: …Eheh. Running now!
S.C.: Yep. The joys. Most of them end in Dai getting her ass kicked… again.

0o0o0

The horrified scream of Sora Kouhei rang through the air like some sickening lunch bell. Roxas had just enough time to look up from his magazine, before the door burst open with a resounding bang. In rushed Sora Kouhei, Roxas’s twin brother, with tears absolutely pouring from his eyes.“ROXAS!” He cried. Nothing in the entire world could compare to the sinking feeling in Roxas’s gut; amounting to ‘oh shit’.

“Huh?” Roxas said intelligently, just before Sora tackled him out of his chair, still sobbing. Roxas and Sora landed, somehow still in the chair, in a heap, while Roxas’s magazine wound up on the floor. Roxas blinked a few times, shaking his head to keep from going into a state of shock, and then coughed. “Er. H-hey Sora,” the younger twin managed through the bone crushing hug. His ribs would not be getting out of this ordeal unscathed. “Nice to see you too.”

“Roxas, how could you?!” Sora wailed, burying his face deep into Roxas’s shoulder and generally getting it very damp. Roxas didn’t mind. Stupid shirt. It was all the shirt’s fault anyway. Which made it, by default, put the blame on the one who’d given him the shirt in the first place. AKA: Sora’s boyfriend of two months, Riku. Which would, in turn, explain why Sora was crying. “How could you?! Riku… Poor Riku…” He dissolved into further sobs and Roxas patted him gently on the back, trying to comfort him. At this moment Axel Kasai decided to sit up.

“Hey Sora,” he began, and Roxas slammed a fist against his skull. Axel fell back into sweet oblivion, and at the other end of the room, Riku, who was also awake now, wisely kept his mouth shut.

“It’s OK, So-chan,” Roxas soothed, and slowly his brother began to get his sobs under control. “Don’t cry. Everything’s OK.” Sora pulled away from Roxas for a second to regard him indignantly.

“Roxas. You hospitalized Riku!” Sora fell against the blonde again, still sobbing, and Roxas rolled his eyes.
“Sora. This isn’t the hospital. This is the school infirmary.” Sora blinked and looked around, mouth making a tiny ‘oh’. Riku took a chance, waving inconspicuously to Sora, who wiped his eyes and waved back. Roxas watched the exchange with narrow eyes. He didn’t like Riku much... Or at all. “Besides, he deserved it.”

“I did n—!” Riku began, silenced when the magazine slammed into his face. Roxas glared at the silver-haired teenager like the very god of death, golden blonde hair flying around his face.

“You will speak when spoken to,” Roxas hissed, whipping around to glare at Axel too. Axel, who had been making faces at Roxas while his back was turned, quailed innocently back into the covers. “Both of you.” He turned back to Sora, murder gone from his expression in a flash, and he was back to the caring brother persona. Flowers and shineys appeared from nowhere, disturbing the room’s other two occupants. “Don’t be mad Sora… I hate it when you’re mad at me.”

Sora, oblivious to the situation, or at least used to it, sniffled and frowned. “Riku never did anything to you Roxas!” He pointed out. Roxas grudgingly had to admit this as true. In an attempt to win Roxas’s favor, Riku had done much kissing up. This was because without Roxas’s favor, no one was allowed within three feet of Sora. After a long period of months, Riku was allowed, along with Kairi, to approach Roxas’s brother, and soon after they were dating. Roxas didn’t like it, but… There was nothing to be done. “He’s never done anything to anyone!”

At this Roxas snorted. “Hey Sora, come back in an hour,” he muttered. “I’ll make you a list.” Behind the blonde, Axel chuckled. Roxas kicked the bed warningly and the chuckles ceased at once.

“Well… but…” Sora looked up into Roxas’s eyes beseechingly. “W-why? Why Riku…?” Roxas could have choked on how cute the effect was, and Riku passed out from a massive nosebleed. No one noticed. Poor Riku. Roxas looked away from Sora quickly, blushing in spite of himself. Why? No one knew. Axel, being a glutton for punishment that he is, started to make a snide comment behind Roxas, and got punched in the arm by both boys.

“It’s a long story,” Roxas grimly declared. Sora nodded seriously.

“OK. I’m listening.” And with that did the flashback begin…

It all started at Roxas and Sora’s fifteenth birthday party. It was there that the boys, opening their gifts, received T-shirts from Riku. Sora’s read ‘Key to My Heart’ and resulted in much squealing from the brunette. Roxas’s proudly bore a red button that displayed the logo, ‘The Easy Button’. This resulted in a glare for Riku, and laughter for the rest of the guests. The despised thing (mostly because it was slightly accurate in its poking of fun) was shoved in the back of the closet never to be worn again. Roxas would have to have every single shirt either covered in mud or being washed before he would even consider wearing it.

Obviously this had indeed come to pass, because here Roxas was, wearing evil thing. Stupid washing machine.

Now skip ahead to the afternoon of having to wear the evil shirt. Roxas was picking up his bags when who should saunter into the room but Axel Kasai, the school’s resident... Er… It doesn’t really fit into those nice little labels, now does it? Anyway, the school’s resident Axel Kasai came into the room, went right up to Roxas, and grinned.

“Wanna go see a movie Friday?” Axel asked. Roxas glared. Axel got on his nerves.

It was no secret that Axel Kasai was in love with Roxas. It wasn’t a secret because he basically asked Roxas out every two seconds; thus far unsuccessful. Roxas thought he was incredibly annoying and little else. Everyone else thought Axel had serious masochism issues to go after Roxas. Axel thought Roxas was the most wonderful thing since matches (don’t ask). Most of their conversations went something like this:

“Roxas, want to go out this Saturday?”

“No.”

Or:
“Hey Roxas! Want to go with me, Sora, and Riku at the bowling place tonight?”

“No.”

Or:

“Roxas, will you marry me?”

“No.”

And thus, predictably, Roxas looked Axel in the eye indifferently and said, “No.”

Axel looked put out for a minute, before the easy button logo caught his attention. He snickered after reading the shirt, guessing who’d given it to Roxas, and earned another glare. “Do you have a problem, Kasai?” Roxas demanded, followed by a silently implied ‘you will if you don’t go away in a second’. Axel merely smirked, and reached out to poke Roxas where the button lay, which happened to be dead on his stomach. Roxas turned bright red, squeaking, and Axel ‘accidentally’ forgot to remove his hand.

“The easy way,” he murmured, seriously invading Roxas’s personal space by now. Roxas’s eyes, previously the size of dinner plates, filled with irrevocable bloodlust as his senses returned, and in a moment Axel Kasai went flying, smacked into a wall, and promptly passed out. Roxas stalked off in search of Riku, to kill him for ever getting the stupid shirt. Really, if Kairi hadn’t found Axel (now soundly asleep), there was no telling just what Roxas would have done to Riku.

So now, here they were. Axel and Riku were both in the school infirmary, and because the nurse was out, her weekly assistant had to take care of them. By a remarkable twist of fate, that had turned out to be Roxas. Thus was Axel loving life and Riku hiding in a corner.

“Oh…” Sora said, eyes widening in realization. “Ohh…”

Roxas scowled, jerking his head in Axel’s direction. “He’s a perverted idiot, Sora. Don’t talk to him.”

“I was just trying to be funny!” Axel protested, sitting up again. “I didn’t mean anything by it! Really!”

The look Roxas gave him might have evoked heart attacks in lesser men. Axel thought it was sexy. “The last time I checked, being told I will NOT go on a date with you was not an invitation to molest me! You are such a…!”

While those two argued, Sora crept over to Riku, smiling a little. “Hey Ri,” he whispered, sitting beside the bed. “How are you?” Riku returned the smile in a complete ‘aw’ moment.

“I’m OK.” He took Sora’s hand, winning a cute blush on his boyfriend’s face. “No offense, Sora, but your twin kinda scares me.”
“He just needs to fall in love,” Sora proclaimed, laying his head on the bed, next to Riku’s. “I used to be a lot like that too… And then I saw you.” Riku grinned, kissing him on the forehead.

“What, I just melted you hear—” Out of nowhere a shoe came flying, smacking into Riku’s head. The silver-haired teen let out a yelp, and then was down for the count. Sora screamed and frantically trying to wake Riku up, but Riku seemed to have just given up on staying conscious in Roxas’s presence. From where Roxas was dealing Axel further bodily harm, the boy stuck his tongue out at Riku and wondered if Sora would notice if he tried to retrieve his shoe.

“Man, are you ever protective,” Axel commented, looking up at Roxas earnestly, adoration shining in his eyes. “You’re like…” Before he could continue, Roxas slapped him upside the head.

“Shut up.” Silence reigned.

“Roxas?”

“Shut up!”

“But Roxas, I—”

“Shut. Up.”

“C’mon hear me o—”

“What part of shut up is difficult for you to understand?!” The silence returned. Roxas watched Sora finally manage to rouse Riku, and smiled at the expression on his twin’s face. And then the silence disturbed him, so he kicked the side of Axel’s bed lightly.

“Hey. You can talk.” Axel said nothing, so Roxas glanced over at him… and found that Axel’s face wasn’t even a full inch from his own. Bright red once more, Roxas let out a stifled gasp, and punched Axel away. Axel sank to the other side of his bed in a spray of blood, and Roxas ignored him, climbing back onto his chair so that he could glare at Axel with something solid between them.

Riku watched this exchange skeptically. “Sora, I don’t think anything’s going to help Roxas. You and Kairi are the only two people he doesn’t beat up on a regular basis. If he was even an inch taller, he would so be nailed as the school bully.” Sora laughed nervously.

“Maybe you’re right…” Sora paused. “Actually, though… When was the last time Roxas got into a fight? He yells at everybody, but the only people he actually attacks are you…”

Riku made a face. “Don’t I feel ever so special.”

“…And Axel.” Riku’s eyes met Sora’s. Slowly, both boys turned to look at the two on the other side of the room, where a red-faced Roxas was trying to strangle Axel with his bare hands, and Axel was undoubtedly saying something stupid again. Roxas did not seem to notice the fact that Axel had a hand on his back that was edging steadily downward. Sora thought about warning him, but decided Roxas would take care of it on his own.

“Love…?” Riku asked, sounding choked at the prospect of Roxas remaining as violent as he was forever. Sora giggled, throwing a protective arm around him. No one tell Riku that. He might think his masculinity was being threatened.

“Love.”

When Kairi came to relieve Roxas of his shift, she was greeted with two sets of teens curled up together. Sora and Riku was no surprise. Kairi grinned, blowing her friends a kiss, and then blinked to find Roxas and Axel curled up together as well. Roxas shifted in his sleep, tugging at the blankets in an attempt to steal them, and Axel curled an arm around him, which Roxas settled against with a contended sigh. Kairi stared, sneezed, and then fell to the floor in a dead faint.

0o0o0

Me: Retarded, wasn’t it? I do still think it’s funny. I can just see Axel doing that… -giggle-

S.C.: One day you should wear one of those.

Me: I don’t want to be poked!

S.C.: Heh, they totally would too. You’re not the easiest person to get along with…

Me: Oi, shush. …It would be funny, though, wouldn’t it?
S.C.: Yep! You sure you won’t do it?

Me: I’m good… Maybe I can con Reich into wearing one.

S.C.: I like that plan too! Reich… Being poked… -snicker-

Me: Hades, she’d kill me… O O