I wasn’t procrastinating on writing this chapter, honest! I was studying for AP exams! And beating off PC viruses! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

I’m sorry for how badly this chapter sucks. Nothing would cooperate. I hate this chapter…

Between the PMS chapter and this one, it would appear that Mikaela is good at communicating with the Junkions. Funny how that worked out. Also, she seems like the type of girl who’d like “Flashdance”. I don’t know why it seems so; it certainly isn’t on my list of top movies. Incidentally, the TV episode Mikaela mentions is the same one I made an allusion to last chappie with Ironhide.

Can’t we all just agree that the disclaimers from previous chapters still apply?

oOo

It had occurred to Mikaela, while she was introducing Blaster, Jazz, and an extremely reluctant Prowl to her all-time favourite movie, “Flashdance”, that Maggie’s birthday was coming up soon. And when she went to go ask Wreck-Gar if he’d like to accompany her in buying a gift for the Aussie, it occurred to her that either Maggie was dating a complete spaz, or Junkions had very strange body language. Or possibly both.

Either way, he really didn’t seem to get it until she explained it: “Did you ever see the episode of ‘That 70’s Show’ when Red and Eric forgot Kitty’s birthday?”

And here came the odd Junkion body language: Wreck-Gar froze for a few seconds in the way a computer screen might, with his head slightly bowed, making a soft whirring noise. Then, his entire body seemed to jump back in shock except for one foot, which remained firmly planted on the floor. The pose looked rather cartoon-like, actually. Which, when Mikaela thought about it, kind of made sense.

“So, you see, as Maggie’s boyfriend, you can’t go forgetting her birthday! And,” here she smiled coyly, “I don’t have a car. If you come shopping with me now, both our problems are solved.”

Leaning in close, the motorcycle replied with the most serious expression Mikaela had ever seen, “I am speed.”

“Okay then,” she grinned. “C’mon, let’s roll out, already!”

oOo

Though she had played dumb for boys in the past (a fact she would always regret), Mikaela was far from stupid. She was well aware that Wreck-Gar wouldn’t listen if she told him to stay in the parking lot, and, besides that, she had gotten him to come on the premise that he’d be picking out a gift as well.

So, naturally, the mall was out of the question.

Too bad she hadn’t thought of that before. Oh, well, too late now. She could deal with people staring. A hyper-stimulated alien king, on the other hand…

“You’ll find happy hearts, and smiling faces, and tolerance for the ethnic races in Denton!” Wreck-Gar grinned jovially, trying to take in as much of the new sights, sounds, and scents of this “mall”.

…Mikaela knew she’d have a headache by the end of the day. But it was for her friend, so it had to at least count for good karma, right?

“Wreck-Gar, if we’re going to get in trouble for this, we may as well be doing something productive. Start looking for a gift for Maggie!”

The Junkion waved his hand and blew air out his vents to make a sort of “psh” noise. “Relax, kemosabe. Earth girls are easy!”

“Well, I know she’s had her eye on this one book, so I’m just gonna stop in Borders real fast and – hey, where are you going!? Oh, damn…”

She couldn’t believe it. It was bad enough he’d insisted on accompanying her into the mall, but now he was running off! She bolted into a run towards the direction he’d headed, just knowing Prowl was going to kill her for making him sit through a chick flick and letting Wreck-Gar loose in public.

As mad as he was making her, though, she couldn’t help but stifle a giggle when she found him. He looked torn as to whether he should go into Spencer’s Gifts or Frederick’s of Hollywood.

“Women are like wolves,” he turned to face her, gesturing at the two stores. “If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. You have to snare it. And then you have to tame it. Keep it happy. Care for it. Feed it. Lovingly, the way an animal deserves to be loved. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.”

“I hate to break it to you, Wreck-Gar, but I don’t think your ‘animal’ is going to appreciate anything that comes out of either of those stores.”

“But,” Wreck-Gar looked exasperated, “I just don’t understand how a world that makes such wonderful things could be bad! I can’t stand it – everything good always happens to other people.”

“Come on,” Mikaela rolled her eyes, then sighed as she noticed the store across from Frederick’s. She would never understand why the local mall felt the need to include both a Borders and a Borders Express. “Well, I might as well buy her that book now.”

“We are the men in black,” Wreck-Gar answered, smirking.

“Galaxy defenders,” she replied. Maybe this little field trip wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Little did she know that they’d be in the mall for three more hours. And one of those hours would be spent in Sears, trying to convince a very stubborn alien that Maggie did not need an ant farm.

oOo

It was three days later and a majority of the Autobots and their allies were crammed in the common room, waiting for Hot Rod to bring Maggie home from work for her surprise birthday party. Not that half the Autobots knew what a birthday even was, but Jazz was the one who had arranged the party, and everyone knew Jazz threw the best parties. Actually, the “surprise” part of the party had been Wreck-Gar’s idea, if only cos it was so cliché to see surprise parties on TV, and he really wanted to do one himself.

Most were excited, though Mikaela and Prowl couldn’t look at each other without glaring. When Sam had asked her about it, she had gone off on a rant about how Prowl always had a stick up his ass and needed to lighten up, because for super-advanced aliens robots, it couldn’t be that hard to erase the memories of everyone that had supposedly seen an alien in the mall!

However, when they all jumped out and yelled “Surprise!” at her, Maggie didn’t seem phased. Rather she just blinked, and checked her cell phone.

“Huh,” she shrugged. “Guess it is my birthday.”

“You… forgot your day of creation?” Bumblebee was confused.

“Well, I’ve been so busy with work lately, I haven’t even been sure what month it is!”

Four hours (and many inebriated party guests) later, the Junkion king wanted very much to give the extremely drunk birthday girl her gift that he’d spent so long picking out. When he held out the diamond ring to her, however, it had been the last thing anyone had expected.

Silence fell over the party guests, with the exception of Sideswipe singing karaoke on Blaster, as Wreck-Gar delicately placed the ring onto Maggie’s ring finger. The Aussie stared at it, transfixed, before finally grinning and yelling:

“Well, shiiiiet, yes!”

Mikaela exchanged shocked looks with Sam and Glen – What!?

-TBC-

I wrote part of this chapter in May, part in June, and part just now, so sorry if the flow is wonky. I really didn’t want to do this chapter, although I’m glad I plowed through it, because I’ve been waiting to do a scene from the next chapter since writing the third chapter!

Poor, poor drunk Maggie. I don’t think she quite realises what she’s just done! What will she say when she finds out the next morning? I dunno, what do you guys think?