Disclaimer: In first chapter…

Warnings: in first chapter…

Chapter Five

Shuichi was dressed in dark ripped denim jeans and a white shirt with a clothing sponsors logo on the front, he was dressed from head to toe in the label, including the sneakers he wore. The stylist had made him look a little untidy, styling his hair into an almost bed head frenzy, a mess of pink and yet it was fashionably set around his slim face, he had very well done make up for the camera’s, almost completely natural except for the slight black eye liner that was meant to be visible.

They were currently on location at one of the cities less populated squares, withering trees and ice paved roads and grass and stone on the buildings, it looked very depressing to Shuichi who was standing wrapped in his two coats and shivering,

“Mr. K, I am gonna get a coat for the photo shoot right?” he asked and glanced at K who stood beside him, he nodded,

“Yeah…they’re not gonna let you freeze to death Shuichi.” He said as he inhaled from his cigarette, wrapped warmly in his own coats.

Shuichi nodded and wondered how the photographers would get rid of the redness of his nose and frost probably forming in his gel and hair spray hardened hair, but that was left to the miracle of computer technology.

Hiro was also freezing as he stood having the final touch up’s on his make-up done in the trailer like set up they had, and Suguru looked unperturbed as he sat on a chair under the shelter reading contentedly, the perks of having travelled to different countries and experiencing such cold weather, Shuichi guessed.

“Stupid weather…” Shuichi mumbled.

“I kinda like it…Japan never gets this cold, not even as cold as the states, the weather here is far better than the states cold...it’s refreshing…” K commented.

“How long is this photo shoot?” Shuichi asked ignoring K’s praising of the weather.

“Just over 3 hours…if you guys do it well, it may take less time.” He said encouragingly.

“And then what?”

“Interview…with Nittle Grasper and Bad Luck for a magazine…” he said a little less pleasantly.

Shuichi grimaced, he’d been busy in his schedule today and so avoiding Ryuichi had been very easy, but after that interview he figured he’d have a hard time, Shuichi absently stood a little closer to K and K glanced at the smaller boy,

“Don’t worry Shuichi…I’ll be there…” he told him.

Shuichi let a small smile onto his face and he mumbled with his head down,
“Thank you Mr. K.”

K allowed a small smile too, although he didn’t know the entire story he hadn’t bothered to ask Shuichi either, he didn’t really want to because it scared him to think of Ryuichi doing anything so…immoral and mature.

A young woman clad in many coats came into view from behind the camera equipment and waved a hand for Shuichi to come over. K patted his shoulder and the shivering teen went along miserably to have a cold photo shoot.

Hiro, Suguru and himself posed in random positions, Shuichi occasionally throwing his two fingers out in a peace sign and the photographer kept yelling in frustrated Russian for Shuichi to stop it, the first five times Shuichi didn’t get it, until the translator explained.

-

After about 4 sets of photographs and six outfit changes Shuichi collapsed into the seat of the minivan they had rented while in the country, there was heating in the car but it didn’t do much and Shuichi was currently shuddering and sniffing to keep the snot from leaving his nose, he was very certain he had a cold.

He held his arms around himself and felt someone sit next to him in the two seater middle row, Shuichi leaned against the person, his eyes were closed and he felt as if he couldn’t open them as he snuggled into the shoulder and he heard the doors closing before the vehicle started moving.

Shuichi parted his eyes after a while of driving and he looked to see who he had been half asleep on, he blinked lazily when he realized it was Hiro, Shuichi sat up slowly and hesitated to lean against the window,

“I’m…uh…sorry…” he apologized.

Hiro looked at him and reached his arms up and he removed two tiny ear phones,
“What?” he asked Shuichi.

He blinked a little surprised now, Hiro hadn’t been angry at him lying on his shoulder, he’d just let him,

“Oh…nothing…” he said with a tinge of happiness and Hiro offered him a smile that had a hint of sadness before he returned the tiny pieces to his ears.

Shuichi didn’t lie back on Hiro’s shoulder and he instead remained against the window and slowly but surely his eyes drifted closed and he found the motion of the vehicle soothing, the cold made him so tired.

-

Shuichi was lying on the sofa in Hiro’s apartment, it was a day when they were supposed to be in studio, but K’s wife had come into Japan to visit so the American had deemed himself worthy of a full day…or more, off.

This made Shuichi and Hiro quite happy while Suguru had stormed out saying something about Tohma making him suffer through horrible incompetence.

So now Hiro and Shuichi were lying on the couch, in the early afternoon, all of the curtains closed and the room a dull brightness, a movie was playing but neither was watching as they lay facing each other and kissing each other like two teenagers after a hot date in the back seat of a car.

Shuichi was beneath his best friend, his hips occasionally bucking up for more contact as Hiro was touching him in places Shuichi hadn’t known he enjoyed.

No bitter thoughts of Yuki were in his mind at that particular momens, Hiro knew what Shuichi wanted, how he liked to be touched, a deeper affection that Eiri offered him.

This was a memory…Shuichi stirred lightly in his sleep and curled into a tighter ball.

He remembered that next Hiro would begin the process of more intimate foreplay; Hiro always did this slowly…

But the memory wasn’t the same…

Is this a dream…or a memory? His fists clenched lightly as he held himself.

Hiro was kissing him again, a warm, deep and lustful kiss, he tasted so different…

“Hiro?” Shuichi asked when his lower lip was gently sucked on and he almost moaned.

Shuichi opened his eyes when he felt smooth hands over his stomach and running under his shirt, smooth hands, Hiro didn’t have hands that smooth.

His mouth was covered with another kiss, Shuichi’s voice was muffled into the taste…the taste was of vanilla…bubble gum…Hiro didn’t eat gum.

Shuichi’s hips bucked up again as the smooth hand found its way into his pants and he felt heat surround him, he opened his eyes and despite the blur of arousal he saw those silken brown locks that tickled his face and those dark blue eyes.

Shuichi let out a muffled cry of shock as Ryuichi kissed him again.

Shuichi jerked in shock and he shut his eyes tightly, he felt so hot all of a sudden and then a hand touched his cheek, far too cold…too cold…

“Ah!” Shuichi’s violet eyes shot open and he recoiled as far back in his curled up bundle as possible, he saw Hiro frowning at him lightly,

“We have to go Shuichi…we have just under an hour before the magazine interview.” He explained calmly ignoring Shuichi’s red hot face and the shame shining in his eyes.

“O…oh…ri…right…the interview.” He nodded numbly and took in a cold breath, the van door was open and he and Hiro were the only ones left there.

“Come on…” Hiro moved to get out but Shuichi’s hand reached out and grabbed his coat sleeve, making Hiro stop and sit back down, facing his young friend,

“What is it Shuichi?” he asked with genuine concern seeing tears lining his friends eyes.

“I…I had…a…d…dream…” he said softly, not moving from his curled up position.

Hiro frowned and relaxed in his seat,
“A dream of what? Are you nervous about the international exposure?”

Shuichi was shaking his head and one of his gloved hands came up to wipe his red lined eyes,

“It…was about you…you and I, it started as a memory…you know that…” he paused and sniffed and moved to sit up a little straighter, “…that time when Mr. K’s…when his wife came into Japan and you and I were happy to have…” he paused, he couldn’t look at Hiro, “…we had alone time together…we were on the sofa…” he didn’t want to say more and he glanced up at Hiro.

Hiro’s had a forlorn expression on his face; his blue eyes seemed distant as if he was thinking of that day in detail,

“Yes…I remember…” he said in a soft voice.

Shuichi looked away again and nodded,

“Yeah…I was dreaming about that at first and then…then it changed…” he shook his head, not wanting to remember how good Ryuichi tasted, not from his dream but his real life experience, that vanilla taste he’d remembered not dreamt.

Shuichi closed his eyes and he felt Hiro’s hand on his shoulder,

“What did it change to?” he asked curiously.

Shuichi didn’t open his eyes for a while, he was about to answer when he heard footsteps coming through the light snow on the ground toward the car and they stopped, he felt Hiro’s hand slip slowly from his shoulder.

He opened his eyes half expecting to see Ryuichi but he was surprised when he was met with dark sea green eyes against the familiar youthful features of Tohma Seguchi, he smiled politely,
“Mr. Shindo, Mr. Nakano…” he greeted in his smooth and light voice, always sounding so friendly yet professional.

“Mr. Seguchi…is something wrong, we still have time before the interview don’t we?” Hiro asked a little worried.

Tohma looked at him,
“Oh, yes, you have plenty of time, I was really just wondering if I could have a moment with Mr. Shindo.” He wasn’t really asking.

Hiro nodded before glancing back at Shuichi,

“We’ll talk later…” he said before getting out.

Shuichi had nodded but he had no intention of telling Hiro this, he had wanted to but really the less people that knew the better, especially since Tohma was around.

Tohma didn’t make to get into the vehicle, for a long moment he simply stared at Shuichi sitting back against the seat, when he finally moved to get in he sat elegantly in the seat next to Shuichi, he smiled so kindly that Shuichi felt a chill run down his spine, this was no good, Tohma had no reason to be so happy with Shuichi.

“Mr. Shindo…it’s come to my attention that Ryuichi is currently very interested in you…beyond his usual interest of course.” He said in a pleasant tone.

Shuichi felt his heart stop beating for a split second before it began pounding into his ears; he didn’t say anything and instead just opted to listen.

Tohma seemed content with this decision and nodded,

“I am truly happy that you have decided to take what I’m about to say seriously…very seriously Mr. Shindo…” Tohma’s voice took on the slightest hint of anger, “…the first time you were unfaithful to Eiri…I didn’t get involved…and to be quite frank Mr. Shindo, it was only because I thought Eiri truly didn’t give a damn about you.” His voice had lost most of its pleasantness by now and Tohma wasn’t looking at him anymore.

Shuichi thought he’d be shocked to hear this but evidently he found he really rather wasn’t at all, he simply stared, his heart beat actually regulating now.

“Of course…when he started to behave as a jealous boyfriend would and actually went ahead and…fought for you…” he sounded quite unhappy by this time, “…I quickly realized I had underestimated your ability to…grow on people…” he said a little uncertain of his wording and then Shuichi saw a smile, “…like a disease…or parasite.” He concluded seemingly happier with this.

Shuichi scowled ever so slightly, he knew Tohma never liked him much but really, was this necessary, couldn’t he just be brief and say what Shuichi figured he wanted to…to warn him no doubt, about his precious Eiri.

“So…this second time…you have been given a second…make no mistake, a second chance. Not only by Eiri, but myself as well, except I will watch you as if you are untrustworthy Mr. Shindo, I will suspect all abnormal behavior and I will assume the worst…” he looked at Shuichi with threats radiating off his fragile being, “…like Ryuichi requesting hotel and dressing rooms with you…having you seated with him on flights and all other such behavior that constitutes privacy for the two of you.” He said finally and he reached up to brush some of his platinum blonde locks from his face.

Shuichi wasn’t interested in defending himself and he simply looked away and out of the window to see none other than Ryuichi coming toward the car, accompanied by K who had no doubt told the pop star he’d have no chances at seduction. Shuichi smiled slightly and turned to Tohma,

“I love Eiri very much Mr. Seguchi…” was all he said, feeling confident with K on his side.

Tohma’s upset façade molded effortlessly in a smiling and pleasant one in an instant and he got out of the van, smiling at K and Ryuichi as they came to the door, Ryuichi had the meanest glare in his eye as he glanced at K before looking at Shuichi,

“Shuichi, I was waiting for you…you get to sit next to me in the interview…” he smiled in his childish manner and Shuichi couldn’t help glance at Tohma who raised a thin eyebrow before leaving them alone.

Shuichi sighed and finally made to leave the car and once he was out, K, Ryuichi and himself made their way into the building for the interview.

That evening back at the hotel…

The interview had actually been fun; Ryuichi was his usual self, fun and laughing, occasionally glancing at Shuichi or gushing over how much he loved Bad Luck’s music, bopping Shuichi on the head with his bear a few times and exclaiming how wonderful and sparkly music was.

Shuichi had had a very genuine smile all throughout the interview, he loved Ryuichi Sakuma, in a way that only he could, and he truly understood why this man made him shiver with delight and want to melt when he sang, spoke or gushed over Shuichi, Ryuichi was an amazing man in many ways, he was so…beautiful…on the inside and out.

Except now as Shuichi sat at the hotel bar drinking Vodka to keep his shivering body warm, he saw it so much more clearly, he did love Ryuichi, in a very different way, a way he had developed from years of idolizing and fantasizing, Ryuichi brought out thoughts and feelings that only he could, thoughts that were dormant in Shuichi’s mind since Eiri.

And now that Ryuichi had confessed feelings, had touched Shuichi and kissed him, now that Shuichi knew the intimate tastes and smells of this man that he had only dreamed about, pushing those forgotten feelings from his mind seemed like an awful thing to do…but there was Eiri.

Shuichi drank the remainder of the glass in generous gulps, fast making himself drunk, K was sitting beside him watching people mill around and he glanced at Shuichi whose eyes were currently glazed over with intoxication, K shook his head, he had agreed to let Shuichi get smashed because he felt Shuichi deserved it after his lack of proper sleep and crying the night before.

Now K had the task of getting Shuichi upstairs and into the room to sleep with the least of a spectacle possible, so before Shuichi could drink anymore K grabbed his shoulder and turned the stool and teenager around.

“That’s quite enough Shuichi…let’s get you to your room.” K instructed and Shuichi grinned in a drunken bliss and slid off the stool.

K had reassigned rooms, Shuichi was now sharing a room with Suguru, who was as neutral as K could possibly hope for, Hiro had offered and K had said no, Ryuichi had become quite difficult at that point and like a little diva demanded his own room, which Tohma gave him gladly and that left Hiro with his own room as well, K hardly cared.

At this point the room Suguru previously shared with Hiro was practically directly across from his own, and so with Shuichi in there with the stoic teen things would be easily monitored and kept under control.

After a painful few minutes in the elevator, Shuichi singing in a drunken off key to the soft music playing, K practically threw the boy out of the elevator and into the hall, then he grabbed his shoulder again and directed him to the room, he knocked once and waited as Shuichi rambled on about how warm he was.

A door a little ways down the hall opened and K turned to look at Ryuichi, who stepped out and leaned against the door frame looking like he was declaring war, K looked at Shuichi who seemed to have noticed Ryuichi and K was only partially surprised when the pink haired teen yelped in happiness and bounded from his grasp to glomp Ryuichi.

Ryuichi and Shuichi were opposites in that way, when Ryu was sober he was happy and clingy to Shuichi, if he got a little drunk he became very moody, Shuichi was opposite, being more steady, volatile and moody when sober (or as much as Shuichi can be steady), and he was completely carefree when drunk.

Ryuichi looked at Shuichi who had his arms hung loosely around Ryuichi’s neck, he was laughing and rambling about vanilla and vodka when K folded his arms and came toward them, Ryuichi’s hands relaxing on Shuichi’s hips lightly as he looked at K,

“He’s very drunk…” he said in his childish tone and his blue eyes were shining as Shuichi held him, Ryuichi looked very happy with the attention.

K pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to ignore the oncoming headache,

“Yes…so let him go Ryuichi…he has to get to bed.” K instructed.

Ryuichi’s bright eyes suddenly dulled and he looked at Shuichi who was frowning,
“Why does Ryu-kun look so sad?” he asked in a tone of utter disapproval, his arms leaving Ryuichi’s neck and his hands taking the older man’s face into his hands,

“Where’s those sparkly, sparkly eyes Ryuichi?” he sounded sad now too.

K felt a little pang of irritation when Ryuichi and Shuichi looked very close to kissing, their eyes both glossy with different emotions and just before Ryuichi could seal the deal, K grabbed the back of Shuichi’s jacket and yanked him out of the stars grasp,
“No good night kisses…” he said sternly and he dragged Shuichi away.

Shuichi was still drunk and started laughing and rambling about sparkly things, Ryuichi looked very hurt as the door to the other room closed with fierce finality.

It was only then that Ryuichi looked straight down the hall and he saw Tohma standing outside his own room and watching, he had been watching the scene.

Ryuichi had a ghost of a smirk and he saw that Tohma didn’t look particularly unhappy either, Ryuichi had an indirect ally in Tohma, because while Ryuichi wanted a reason for Shuichi to give into him and leave Eiri, Tohma wanted…exactly the same thing.

K had instructed Suguru very seriously about what he must do and so he did it, all the while trying to ignore the incessant snoring of Shuichi in his drunken slumber.

Suguru made sure the hotel door was latched and locked; the key card was hidden afterward in case Shuichi woke up wanting to get out for any reason.

Suguru then collapsed into his own single bed and sighed, K had given him a brief explanation of what was going on between Ryuichi and Shuichi.

Suguru glanced at Shuichi and he shook his head, the pink haired teen was sprawled out on his stomach and the duvet tangled around his untidy form, Shuichi had his mouth open and was not only drooling but also snoring very loudly.

Suguru could only groan inwardly and shake his head, he didn’t understand, he didn’t get what it was about Shuichi that Eiri, Hiro and Ryuichi liked, he was so obnoxious and loud and yes he was a mildly enjoyable presence, but for the love of god, he was so not something that even closely resembled a sexually appealing person.

Suguru stood up again and went over to his travel bags lining the hotel’s wall neatly, scratching through a smaller one until he found a bottle of sleeping pills; he’d need them to get through this torture.

As he popped them into his mouth and walked over to the small table to pour himself some water from the pre-prepared jug, he thought of Shuichi.

Suguru concluded, once he’d taken his pills and slipped under the covers, that the reason they liked Shuichi was because he was an incredibly genuine person, he never had hidden agendas, devious or manipulative reasoning or ideas.

He had an infectious personality that obviously was appealing to people who were deceptive and untrusting by nature.

Eiri Yuki, Hiroshi Nakano and Ryuichi Sakuma were all people who could pretend so well to be the perfect and most charming people, they could all make people fall in love with them by being what was expected of them.

They were all outstandingly good looking and they knew it, they were all egotistical in their own ways, and knew how to pretend to be humble if it would make people appreciate them.

Suguru thought about this as his mind was hazed over by sleep gradually, Shuichi was innocent and naïve, he only trusted what his mind and feelings told him, he had no control over these things because lies, deceit, doubt, mistrust and manipulation was not something he was accustomed to.

He knew that people could be that way, could be horrible, cold and completely deceptive, but Shuichi chose not to look at the world this way, he just wanted to be happy.

Suguru sighed lightly, neither one of those men deserved someone as pure as Shuichi Shindo, he was not the most attractive, or the most intelligent, or the most sexually appealing, or the most mannered and socially experienced person…but Shuichi Shindo was pure.

Shuichi fell in love with Eiri, a person of the same sex and never questioned it, regardless of how cold and detached Eiri was and how much he seemed to dislike the idea of being attached to Shuichi and the stigma that came with a homosexual relationship…also…

…Shuichi had known he loved Hiro and he had once trusted his heart and mind so blindly that he believed he wanted to be with Hiro, and now that they were parted, still Shuichi loved Hiro as a friend and he trusts him endlessly despite the obvious jealousy and bitterness he holds for Shuichi’s leaving him.

Now there is Ryuichi, a god to Shuichi Shindo for so many years, before Eiri Yuki, before any acknowledgment of feelings for Hiro, there was Ryuichi Sakuma. No doubt Shuichi’s heart and mind would confuse him once again…Suguru smiled, this was in part the fault of Shuichi’s own stupidity, but never the less, this time Shuichi had K and Suguru, they would both help him overcome the deception and manipulation of Ryuichi.

Suguru felt himself drifting away, Shuichi’s snoring actually somewhat tranquil when he was high, Shuichi was such a naïve moron and a sweet idiot, but he didn’t deserve to suffer because of it.

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