|The Dangers of Fighting The Undead
Author: Murder in the Moshpit PM
Largo prepares for yet another undead invasion... at two in the morning. Oneshot.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Words: 626 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 02-12-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4069117
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: Don't own Megatokyo.
Piro knew something was wrong the second he looked at the clock. Crashes, cooling fans, and pencil sharpening were not normal things to hear at two in the morning... even if your roomate was Largo. Of course Largo had his oddities, but he was usually sound asleep at two in the morning. Not crashing about, sharpening pencils and messing around with computers. These were daytime activities... unless something was seriously wrong.
Piro looked up... then winced. "Largo. Pants. Please."
"Now is not the time for p4nts!!" Largo protested. "The undead are planning an infiltration... I can feel it!!" He paused, then waved a recently sharpened pencil at Piro for emphasis. "The undead feed off of static electricity. It aids the respawning process. To generate static would be suicidal." The tip of the pencil snapped off and dropped to the floor with a plink. Largo growled and jammed the pencil back into the sharpener.
"Largo..." Piro sighed, mentally cursing himself for engaging in conversation with the being. He should have run while he had the chance.
"As long as you're awake, can you hand me the beer?" Largo asked over the sharpener's drone. "Undead fighting requires b00z3."
"I don't trust you with beer this early," Piro said firmly. "Not that I trust you with it any other time, of course..."
Another crash came from Largo's direction, followed by the mechanical whir of the pencil sharpener. Piro had no clue where Largo had gotten the pencil sharpener, nor had he any desire to find out. Unfortunately, at this exact moment, he saw where said pencil sharpener was plugged into.
"Largo, how did you get eight plugs into one socke-"
"The undead are here!!!" Largo proclaimed dramatically, tying a handful of pencils together with a rubber band. He tossed them at Piro, who ducked to avoid having his eye stabbed out. "Quick! Save yourself! Prepare for a b347d0wn!!"
"That was only the power socket overheating-" Piro began, but was interrupted.
"They have nerve, facing me..." Largo began. It was obviously a lead-in to some sort of speech. "But they shall not succeed!! For I shall summon my ninja!!" He struck a heroic pose, resulting in another crash. Piro winced. "They shall learn the meaning of ph33r!!"
"I don't think Junpei will be awake at two am."
"We can fix that."
Piro sighed. "Should I unplug Ping for this 'Undead Invasion'?"
"No!" Largo gasped, glaring at Piro as if he had suggested seeking out the zombies and serving them cookies and milk. "The robot is dangerous! We should ph33r it!!"
"I'll unplug her if you don't put on some pants..."
A moment later, Piro could safely look at Largo again without feeling the need to claw his eyes out. "I'm going back to bed."
"You shall be cruelly slaughtered in your sleep by the legions of the undead minions!!"
"I'm more afraid of what will happen once you find where I hid the beer."
"YOU HID THE BEER? ARE YOU MAD?"
"Good night, Largo."
"Hmph. Just wait until you're annihilated in your slumber, without a chance of survival."
"SARCASM WILL GET YOU NOWHERE!"
"As long as it gets me to sleep, I'm happy. Good night, Largo."
"Good night, d34d m34t."