-Flash forward to the normal RENT world (where everything is pink and yellow)-

“Jawbreakers and lollipops?? What were we thinking? Wow, no wonder my head feels like an Oompa Loompa factory,” groaned Mark as he tried to shake his head into sanity.

“Yeah. And you know what’s the best cure for that is? Caffeine, and lots of it!” said Roger, who placed a steaming hot (and extremely chipped) mug of thick black coffee in front of his nose. Mark looked at it cautiously, sniffed it like a dog, and then slowly drank it, trying not to gag at the horrendous taste.

“I don’t know Mark. You story doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. And I do recall a Rocky Horror after-party that we were invited to. Did we end up going though?”

“Uh-uh-uh. Just a minute now,” Mark said, wagging his finger at Roger. “All in due time, my precious,” he said in a very scary Gollum voice, which made Roger’s skin crawl. He gulped down his mug of coffee, refilled his cup, and sat down at the table with his friend.

“Right, so where were we?? Oh yes, the candy shop...”

-Flashback to candy shop (insert dreamy music here)-

Roger ran off to the cash counter and dumped all his lollipops and jawbreakers in front of the cashier, his eyes bulging wide and grinning like a crazed 6-year-old. The cashier lady looked at all the sweets and gave Roger a quizzical look.

“You sure you got enough there, sonny?” The lady at the cash said with a sarcastic tone, but Roger, being as dumb as a chocolate chip muffin who’d lost all its chocolate chips, didn’t catch her sarcasm.

“NOPE!” he exclaimed proudly. Mark sighed.

“C’mon Roggy-Poggy!! Hurry up!!” he groaned. “We need to get blowing – I mean, going!” he said, blushing, but giving Roger a super-sexy wink.

“Ahoy there matey!! I’m a comin’! YO HO, BLOW THE MAN DOWN!” said Roger as he paid 10 for his goodies and greedily collected them all in a brown paper bag. Suddenly, he ran into somebody very familiar.

“Angel!! Collins!! You’re here!!” he exclaimed. He didn’t hug them because he was too busy clutching his precious candy so he gave them blow-kisses instead. (Funny how the ‘blow’ theme ties the whole story together, isn’t it?)

“Yeah!! C’mon, lets’ hurry up!! We don’t wanna miss the show, and our secret plan to humiliate Benny publicly into letting us stay rent-free,” said Collins, grinning his evil grin that was never ever seen in the RENT movie or stage show, but was one of his specialties. He and Angel picked out a few gummi bears and some milk chocolate and quickly paid for them, and then all four friends quickly left the candy shop and made their way back.

Eventually the four of them managed to make it back to the theatre, where thankfully, it was the 20-minute intermission, so they could sit and eat their candy in peace in the foyer.

“HAHAHAHAHA!! Imagine that stupid security guard Sacha running after us while his five stomachs all bounce up and down!! Who the hell does he think he is??” laughed Roger as he ate his lollipop. The other laughed while stuffing their faces with their sugary ammunition.

“’Scuse us a second, chaps, but could we just share your seat for a minute? My boys wanna finish their nachos before the show starts,” said a tall, nerdy man in a green suit, with a bushy moustache with two little boys.

“Umm, yeah, sure. Whatever,” said Mark, shrugging.

“Thanks ever so much, fellas. Rod!! Todd!! Over here boys!!” said the gentleman to his two little boys, who sat on the bench next to Mark and Angel, opened their “Jesus Is My Best Friend” lunchboxes and ate something that didn’t resemble any kind of nachos whatsoever.

“Thank you kindly, ma’am. The name’s Flanders. Ned Flanders,” said the gentleman, extending his hand out for a shake.

“That’s quite alright. The name’s Angel. And I’m actually a guy,” Angel said proudly, returning the handshake. Ned quickly pulled his hand away, as if it had been burnt, and looked uncomfortable at his boys, who looked a little bewildered themselves.

“It’s alright, boys. Just eat your nachos. Try not to look at Satan’s children,” he whispered to his boys. Unfortunately, Angel and Collins heard him. Angel was trying not to cry, and Collins was downright pissed. He calmly got up and stood in front of the Flanders.

“May I please see those lunchboxes?” He asked. Rod and Todd looked at each other, shrugged and handed him their lunchboxes. Collins looked at Angel and mouthed ‘distract them’ Angel grinned and nodded.

“EVERYBODY LOOK! IT’S JESUS!” Angel yelled. The Flanders quickly turned their heads around, and Collins pulled something out of his jacket and put it in Rod’s lunchbox.

“Never mind… it was just a bearded lady.” Angel said. Ned, Rod and Todd frowned and turned back around. Collins grinned and passed the boys their lunchboxes.

“These are VERY cool lunchboxes. Anyways, my friends and I are going to go back inside. Hope you enjoy the rest of the show!” Collins said. The four friends quickly went into the theater and Collins started looking for something.

“Uhm… Collins?” Angel asked. Collins stopped and ran towards a security guard that wasn’t Sacha.

“Hey, sir. There’s a kid with curly red hair who’s acting really suspicious with his lunchbox. He’s about this tall, and his lunchbox says ‘Jesus is My Best Friend’ I think that he might be hiding some illegal substance of some sort.” Collins explained. The security guard nodded and spoke into his walkie-talkie, and then sped off looking for the perp. As soon as the door to the lobby closed, Collins and Angel started laughing. Mark raised his eyebrow.

“What did you do?” Mark asked. Collins smiled.

“You’ll see, boys.” Collins said slyly. Suddenly, they heard a scream from the lobby, so they all ran into the lobby to see Rod, Todd and Ned on their knees with their hands behind their heads with several security guards searching them.

“YO BOSS! OVER HERE! I FOUND SOMETHING!” One of the security guards yelled. He lifted up Rod’s lunchbox and unzipped it to reveal…

“Stoli? I wonder where he got that?” Roger whispered. Mark giggled a girlish giggle, while Collins was trying not to burst out into laughter. Angel on the other hand, had her hand over her mouth to try to stifle her laughter.

“A minor with alcohol? Well, I say, isn’t that illegal?” One of the security guards asked Ned. Ned’s jaw dropped.

“That isn’t ours! I swear to god! I would never touch the devil’s work, never mind drink the devil’s drink!” Ned exclaimed. The security guard frowned.

“But your kids probably would. Guys, book ‘em” The security guard said. The Flanders were quickly handcuffed and then led out of the building. Roger, Angel, Collins and Mark erupted into laughter.

“Way to go, Collins!” Roger exclaimed, giving Collins a high five. Suddenly, Collins frowned.

“What’s wrong, hun?” Angel asked.

“That was my last bottle of stoli.”