|He really does love me
Author: Novemberscorpion PM
Connor is on the run. After stopping at an In he meets an old 'friend' of Angel's. What she say's to him might alter his life forever. BuffyxAngel pairing. Buffy talks to ConnorRated: Fiction T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Connor & Angel - Words: 2,470 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 1 - Published: 02-15-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4076100
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Just an idea I had so I decided to write it out. Oh yes sorry this is my first Angel fanfiction so I hope you all like it and I hope I have done a relatively close job to sticking somewhat in character. Summery: Connor gets a visit from one of his father's oldest and best friend who helps him realize that…not everything in his life was just a bunch of lies. There was always one truth amongst the scours of lies, one truth that made the lies seem minimal. Angel loved him.
Angel stood over his son, knife in hand and glaring down at him, while his son looked at him. He was hurting so badly.
"I really do love you Connor."
"What are you gonna do about it?"
He watched Angel throw the knife away and the next instant he felt himself being hugged closely to Angel's chest. He was so shocked by this simple gesture he couldn't even register that Angel was to close to him. The simple act of holding him close, the way it said so much by just doing something simple, it felt good. Angel felt Connor grip the sides of his leather coat and hold on tightly, burying his face into Angel's shirt.They stayed like that for almost three hours, Angel only talking in hushed tones and using soothing words of comfort. Finally Connor pulled away, looking at Angel. They stared at each other a moment before Angel handed him a wallet. Connor took it and then took off, not looking back again.
Town of Capron
Woods County OklahomaPopulation – 42
Another small dingy town was all he saw when he entered the Town of Capron. Connor had been on the run for over six months now. During this time he had managed to cross six states, getting as much distance from him and his father. The last time they had seen each other, he had felt something he had never known before. It wasn't love like he had, or thought he had, felt for Cordelia but something new. It had been strange, foreign and terrifying, yet his body ached and yearned for more of it. He stopped in front of a small little Inn. He had been travelling for so long and sleeping on the road or in the forest, the thought of a warm bed made him go into the place much quicker. The people there looked up, obviously not used to travellers.
"Well hey there," said the woman at the other end of the counter. "Not often we get visitors round these parts…and usually not at this hour of the night."
"Yeah," he answered. "I was…in need of a room…and a shower."
The woman didn't look like she doubted that so she handed him one of the keys behind her.
"Here ya go honey," she said. "Room 1 is all yours. It's $10 a night."
He pulled out a ten-dollar bill and paid for the room before going upstairs. Finding the room wasn't hard as he unlocked the door and then opened it. It wasn't large, a bed, drawers and a small bathroom. He quickly closed and locked his door before heading for the washroom, removing his clothes on the way in.
The woman at the counter looked up as the door opened again and a girl walked in. She looked to be in her early 20's with long blonde hair and green eyes.
"Hi," she said. "I'm looking for a boy. He's about this tall," she said, showing with her hand how tall he was, "he has dirty blonde/brownish hair and really cold blue eyes."
"Oh…I think he just went upstairs actually," she said. "You a friend of his?"
"You could say that," she said. "I need to speak to him, which room is he?"
"I gave him room 1 but miss I'd prefer if you'd wait until he decided to come down."
"Don't have time to wait," she said, walking up the stairs.
The warm water felt good flowing down his skin, the trail of dirt coloured water going down the drain. He felt clean again. Clean, angry, lost and lied to. That's all he ever felt. Nothing but anger and hatred ruled his life. He wanted Angel to kill him, God why didn't he? It would have made things easier; it would have ended all of the torture in his mind. All the pain, the stress, the build up of lies and deceit, it might have even been enough to save Cordelia. He punched the wall and let out a roar of anger, letting some of that anger go. He sighed and looked down at the ground, ashamed of himself, ashamed of what he'd turned into, ashamed at what he had become. He turned the hot water of and stepped out of the shower. He dried his hair and then wrapped the towel around his waist before stepping into the bedroom. However this time, he wasn't alone. Sitting on the bed and waiting for him was a blonde haired girl. She was wearing a white shoulder less sweater with a pair of white jeans.
"Hello Connor," she said.
"Who are you?" he asked. "And how did you…?"
She smiled and stood up a bit more. He noticed the silver cross necklace around her neck and the power he could feel emitting from her.
"I'm a friend," she said. "I'm a Slayer. If I want in I'll get in."
He sat down on the bed, now looking at her, full attention. The last Slayer he crossed gave him an ass pummelling and he did not look forward to another one.
"I thought there could only ever be one Slayer?" he asked. "Did Faith…?"
"I was the Slayer before Faith," she said. "I've died twice now and been brought back. I'm a friend of Angel's. You're father."
He stood up, no longer looking at her.
"If he sent you here to get me then it's pointless," he said. "I'm not going back."
"No…I'm here of my own free will," she said. "My name is Buffy Summers. I was and, to this day, still am Angel's girl. Him and I have a bond neither of us can ever deny. I love him, just as much as he loves me. He called me recently to tell me the events that had happened to him…and about you. I'm not here to drag you back…but I know one thing about you even if Angel hadn't told me. You don't believe he loves you do you?"
"He can't love," said Connor. "He's a vampire. A filthy, disgusting vampire."
"Do you know what happens when you turn into a vampire?" she asked.
"You begin taking innocent lives away," he said. "Creatures of the night, blood sucking. It makes me sick. How could a Slayer fall in love with one of those things?"
"The demon takes the body but he can't have the soul. While Angelus is cruel and evil it was not really Angel. Angel is only his true self with a soul," she explained. "Angel always seemed concerned for me. Always there to help me, protect me, care for me. He's saved me so many times I can't count. He rescued me from some Frat boys who were trying to feed me to their snake God. He saved me from being beaten up by some Hulk like guy. He killed a demon and gave me it's blood to cure me of hearing everyone's thoughts in my head."
"That's all he does," said Connor getting angry. "Fight, fight, fight, kill, kill, kill. Is there anything else in his life besides that?"
"Yes there is," she said. "You. You don't know this but…for the first few months of your birth…Angel wouldn't ever let anyone touch you but him. No one could hold you; no one could tickle you or play with you. He wouldn't even go out to fight. You came first. Then Holtz kidnapped you, threatened to snap your six month old neck if Angel tried to come any closer or follow."
"I've heard all this already," said Connor. "I don't care anymore. I just…I don't want him in my life."
"Why?" asked Buffy. "Besides love you, care for you, take you in and forgiven you what has he done?"
Connor looked at her, then down at the floor. Why did he hate Angel so much? He hadn't tried to eat him, he hadn't killed any of his loved ones…was it the hatred Holtz had instilled on him? The revenge supposed to be served and yet Angel escaped every time?
"I just…I have all this pain inside," he said. "No matter what I try to do…it never goes away."
"I had that pain once to," she said. "I died, saving the ones I loved. My friends tried to save me from a hell dimension they thought I was in."
"How is that anything compared to what I…"
"They ripped me out of heaven," she said. "Pulled me away from Paradise, and put me back on earth, because they couldn't let go. Connor you've built all this inside of you, all this pain, frustration, anger and hate. You've put so much of this in you, you're heart just can't take anything else. You need to let Angel in, let him try. You ran away under the assumption that your life was built upon a tower of lies. That's true…but there was always one truth among the lies. Angel loves you Connor. He always has and he always will. I think somehow, deep down, you know that…and you're scared of it. You can't understand it, accept it, you don't even know what it is but it's there."
Connor looked at Buffy. The girl was very insightful. She seemed to know him so well even if this was their first meeting ever.
"It scares you so badly you try and hide from it, but it always finds you," she continued. "Deep down you know what you need to do, the only question left is…do you have the courage to do it?"
He watched her get up and open the door to the hallway. She turned and gave him one last look and a small smile.
"Remember Connor," she said. "Angel does love you. He always will."
"Wait," he said. "How did you find me?"
"Willow used a locator spell," she said. "Wasn't hard to follow your trail."
With that she closed the door and left, leaving Connor to his thoughts. He just sat there, looking at the spot Buffy had been. Maybe she was right. Maybe he was running, not because of hate, but because of fear. He got into the bed and curled up under the blankets, still thinking about everything he had been told. Buffy coming to see him, telling him Angel loved him, trying to persuade him to go back. He closed his eyes and, for the first time in a very long time, he had a real smile on his face. He knew in the morning, exactly where he was going and what he needed to do.
Los Angeles California
Angel sat in the hotel lobby listening to something Xander thought was funny. Truthfully the boy wouldn't know funny if it came up and bit him in the ass. He was smiling a bit, Willow was making funny faces at him, imitating Xander. He got up and sighed.
"I'm going to get some fresh air," he said. "I'll be around later."
He turned around and almost fell over. Standing in the doorway, looking at him straight in the eyes was Connor. Everyone had stopped talking and looked at the scene in front of them. Angel was looking at Connor, Connor was looking at Angel. Suddenly in seconds Connor had thrown himself into Angels chest, letting tear come down his face. Angel wrapped his arms around his son as he cried.
"It's ok Connor," he said, soothingly, letting his boy cry. "Just let it all out."
"It hurts," he whispered. "It hurts so bad and I can't make it stop."
"Not alone you can't," he said. "Let me help you."
He felt the grip on his jacket tighten and knew Connor was different. He was…desperate. He needed this, wanted this so badly. Angel held his son closer, pouring as much love and happiness as he could muster into it. By this time everyone had left to give them some father-son time.
"I love you Connor," he said. "You know that right?"
"I know dad," he answered, looking up at him. "I…I."
Angel looked at him, was something wrong with his son?
"I…I love you to," said Connor finally.
Angel just looked at him. It was the first time those words had ever come out of Connors mouth and hearing them was like hearing music for the first time. Connor buried his face back into Angels jacket, finally feeling for the first time like a kid. Finally Connor stood up. Buffy walked into the room carrying a coffee cup in her hand.
"Oh," she said. "Hey, who's this?" she asked.
"I'm Connor," he said. "You don't remember me?"
"Um no," she said. "I've never met you. Angel has told me loads about you though."
"But you came and talked to me in Oklahoma just last night," he said.
"I never left the Hyperion," she said.
Connor looked puzzled but let it go as his dad and Buffy began walking up the stairs. Angel turned to look at Connor.
"So where are you of to now?" he asked.
"I'm already where I belong," answered Connor. "I'm home."
Angle smiled and walked off, leaving Buffy to look at Connor. Connor looked up at her and she smiled.
"You did a good thing Connor," she said, making him look at her in shock.
She winked and then walked off to follow Angel. Connor didn't know, nor did he care, why Buffy had lied or how she had gotten back so fast. All he knew was that when he fell onto his bed, with his pillows in his room he had one thought racing through his mind…
"He really does love me."