"Look out!" shouted Naruto as he threw a kunai at the rogue ninja. Sakura ducked and punched the ninja in the stomach.

"Shan-naro!" ahe shouted. The ninja flew back, smashing into a tree. Sai pulled a scroll out of his pocket and let it open.

"By orders of the Godaime no Hokage, you, Yamino Akumaji, are under arrest for the murder of Suino Chiseki!" he said.

"No, I'm not!" said Akumaji as he made the sign of the Ram. "Fire Earth Style: Magma Fissure Jutsu!" he shouted, a large crack appearing in the ground. Molten lava spewed from the crack. Sakura dodged a glob of lava before throwing a bag in the air. She then threw a kunai, slicing the bag open and releasing several small tags.

"What's this?" asked Akumaji as a piece fell into his palm.

"Glad you asked!" said Sakura, throwing one last kunai. "Sakura Fubuki no Jutsu!" The last kunai held a final expolding tag, which started to burn.

"Brace yourselves!" shouted Naruto. A large explosion rang out. Where Akumaji once stood, however, a shattered, charred log took his place.

"Damn! Almost had him!" said Sakura.

"Almost being the key word, my dear." said Akumaji, jumping from a nearby tree.

"Rasengan!" shouted Naruto. Akumaji dodged and hit Naruto on the back of the neck, knocking him unconscious. Akumaji took a step foreward, his katana glinting in the sunlight. Sai held his blade in a defensive position, and Sakura held up her fists.

"Stop right there!" shouted a voice, and a white rose was thrown into Akumaji's path.

"What in the world?" he asked, and a pair of, um... shinobi jumped from a tree branch. At least, they could be considered shinobi. They wore skin tight suits, the male in orange, his partner, who was female, in green. Both suits had a metal badge in the center, though the symbols on them were different; The girl's resembled a stylized four, and the boy's resembled the female symbol with the circle replaced by a heart. Their helments were identical, ecxept the color. The helments were roughly the shape of the wearer's heads, and black visors spanned over where the eyes would be. On the helment's forehead was a gem, green for the girl and orange for the boy. The boy's costume had the same white gloves and white boots as his companions, though there were orange stripes that crossed from the ankle to where either the big toe or pinkie toe were, crossing in an X pattern on the boots. An indigo band crossed the top of the suit, streching from under the arm to the other side of the chest. A light yellow belt was wrapped around his waist, the buckle in the shape of a square with a ten-ringed design, an orange gem placed into the circle on the second ring. A chain with heart-shaped links was on top op the belt, connecting just below the buckle. The girl's uniform had a skirt covering her upper legs to the mid-thigh. Her belt had a green gem in the circle on the sixth ring. The belt and chest stripe on her uniform were sugar pink, and there were decorative laces on the tops of her boots.

"We stand for love and justice! Planetary Shinobi-" began the boy, "Shinobi Kinsei!"

"Shinobi Mokusei!" said his companion.

"In the name of Venus, I'll punish you!" said Shinobi Kinsei.

"And in the name of Jupiter, I'll jack you up!" said Shinobi Mokusei. Akumaji cocked his head, looking at the two.

"This'll be easy!" he said.

"Not so fast!" said Shinobi Kinsei. He and Shinobi Mokusei did a few handsigns before slamming their palms into the ground.

"Kareoke no Jutsu: Traditional the Grace Ai no Arashi!" they shouted. The world went black for Akumaji. All he could see was Shinobi Mokusei and Shinobi Kinsei on some kind of stage. Music started up as the two grabbed microphones out of midair.

Shinobi Kinsei then started to sing.

"Sayonara wa umaku ienai,

Deatta shiawase kazoete!

Saki niou senshi no asa,

Kimi wo namida wo niji ni kaeru!" he sang. Akumaji couldn't believe it; every word stabbed his ears. Not that they were bad singers, but the J-Pop music was getting to him.

"Odotte Venus,

Loving so impact!

Tenshi no yuuwakuu,

Ai, ai, ai, ai!

Utatte Venus,

Thinking so easy!

Tenshi no yuuwakuu,

Ai, ai, ai!

Ai, ai, ai-

Aiiro faraway,

Traditional the grace!" he then turned, his visor glinting. "Now, get on your knees and recive love's divine punishment!" said Shinobi Kinsei. "Crescent Beam!" he shouted. A yellow beam of energy shot out of his fingertips, striking Akumaji. He then stepped back to let Shinobi Mokusei take the stage.

"Akogare wa umaku ienai,

Deau tokimeki kazoete!

Saki hokorou my soldiers!

Sora no yuu utsu wo niji ni kaeru!

Hikatte Venus,

Loving so impact!

Senshi no yuuwakuu,

Ai, ai, ai, ai!

Waratte Venus,

Thinking so easy!

Senshi no yuuwakuu,

Ai ai ai!

Ai ai ai,

Aiiro Seasons!" The two then sang together for the finale.

"Traditional the grace!

Ai, ai, ai, ai, ai!" they finished with a smile, and stood back to back.

"Venus Love and Beauty Shock!" shouted Shinobi Kinsei, throwing a yellow heart made of energy at Akumaji. The heart burst into explosions of yellow light that sent Akumaji flying.

"And that's why you don't mess with the power of love!"

"Amazing!" said Sakura, running up to the two.

"You really think so?" asked Shinobi Mokusei. "We only made that up recently."

"How does that technique work?" asked Sai.

"It utilises frequency and volume to hurt our enemies. It also doesn't hurt that we also use mind-numbing J-pop." said Shinobi Mokusei. She then made a hand sign. Her oufit released in a flash of green. When the smoke cleared, it revealed a kunoichi with black hair and brown eyes. She wore a white shirt that bared her midriff, green shorts, and green gloves. A sugar pink headband with a swirl design was wrapped around her waist. Her partner did the same. He had black hair styled in spikes, a few strands of hair falling over his light yellow headband. He wore an orange shirt, off-white shorts, and whitish wristbands with navy blue cuffs. His freind started jumping around.

"Finally! No skirt! Whee!" she shouted. She then stopped, and started chasing a squirrel. The boy just shook his head.

"Sorry about that. I'm Uzumaki Mamoru, and this is Inuzuka Hinako. We're from Uzugakure, the Villiage Hidden in the Whirlpool." he said.

"I'm Haruno Sakura. This is Sai, and the unconscious baka is Uzumaki Naruto." she said. "Yo, Naruto! Wake up!" she yelled, kicking him in the side.

"Stop!" said Naruto, sitting up."I'm awake!" he then saw the two shinobi. "Who are they? Where did those two guys in the tight suits go?"

Mamoru sighed.

"That would be us. I'm Uzumaki Mamoru, and the chick chasing the squirrel is Inuzuka Hina- Hinako-chan! Spit it out now young lady!" he shouted. Hinako looked up, something long, light brown, and fuzzy sticking out of her mouth. She shook her head. "I said now!" said Mamoru, stomping his foot. Hinako let out a growl and shook her head. "Would you do it for a Inu Snack?" he said, producing a box. Hinako nodded enthusiastically, and spit out the squirrel. It raised its paw and let out some incomprihensible chittering before shaking itself dry. Mamoru threw a bone-shaped treat at Hinako, who caught it th her hand. She took a bite, and turned to the others.

"Sorry," she said, swallowing. "I lose control sometimes." Mamoru sweatdropped.

"Listen, we've been traveling for a long time. Could you please take us to your villiage to ask the Hokage if we could stay for a while?" he asked. Sakura cocked an eyebrow.

"One second please." she said. She turned to Sai and Naruto. "Boys, hudddle up." she said. The three stuck their heads together. "Do you think we can trust them?" asked Sakura. "I think so." said Naruto.

"My penis think it's okay to trust them!" said Sai. Naruto whacked him in the back of the head.

"No penis jokes in front of the guests!" said Naruto. "Come on, Sakura-chan, please?" he asked, putting on the fox-kit eyes.

Sakura felt herself caving. 'come on, Sakura, stay strong!' she told herself. Naruto kept up the act, and her will wavered. 'No... use... too... cute... resolution... fading...'

"Aww, what the hell? Let's do it!" she said. Sakura turned to the two, who had each broken out a book; both read "Make-Out Paradise: Yaoi Edition" on the front. Sakura and Naruto sweatdropped.

"Um, we'll take you to Konoha." said Naruto. Mamoru looked up, wiping the blood that had started to drip from his nose.

"Okay!" he said. "How long to Konoha?" Sai looked at his map.

"About three days, penis." Naruto facepalmed.

"Sai, please." he said. Sakura slumped.

"Aww, that's too long!" she said. Hinako's eye gleamed.

"It might not. I know a way to get to Konoha in less than three hours!" she said. Mamoru nodded, then grabbed Hinako around the waist wih one arm.

"Grab my hand!" he said, holding the other towards Naruto. Naruto slowly oblidged, Sakura willingly taking Naruto's hand and Sai taking Sakura's. Then Mamoru turned.

"Please keep all hands, feet, arms, legs, and other appendages inside the ride at all times." he said. Naruto looked at Sai.

"That means YOU, Sai." he said. Mamoru nodded, and Hinako smiled.

"Wait, which way to Konoha?" she asked.

"Dead ahead!" said Naruto. Hinako dug her fingers into the ground.

"Gatsuuga!" she shouted, and the five ninja found themselves traveling at seventy mph. Naruto felt himslf slipping, and grabbed MAmoru around the waist. Sakura ended up hugging Naruto's leg for dear life, while Sai positioned himself to grab Sakura's chest.

"Ahhhhhh!" screamed Sakura as everything sped by. She gripped Naruto like there was no tomorrow; she didn't care if she broke his leg; the Kyuubi would heal it anyway.

"Woo-hoo!" shouted Mamoru and Naruto. All people saw was a blur enter the gates and leave a rather large sonic boom behind them. Hinako then stopped, sniffing the air. Everyone was thrown off; Sai, Sakura, and Naruto slammed into the wall of a nearby building, and Mamoru took out a pair of kunai, digging them into the ground and slowing himse;f down. His eyes quickly changed from an unusual red back to blue. He stood up, dusting his shirt off. He walked up to her.

"What is it, girl? Is Konohamaru trapped in the old well?" he asked. She turned around and smacked him upside the head.

"That joke stopped being funny five years ago!" she said. "No, I just smell something familliar." she said. "Coming from over there!" She pointed at a dissipating crowd, revealing a red-haired, black-eyed teen of about 20, wearing a pale beige shirt with brown shorts. A golden yellow Sunagakure headband was fastened around his right arm.

"Kaoru! Where are you!" he shouted. He turned to a woman walking down the street. "Have you seen my brother? He's my identical twin." he asked.

"I'm sorry, I haven't." she said.

"Oh." said the boy, turning around. "Wait a minute... Hina-chan! Mamo-kun!" he said, running toward the two.

"Hey, Kaoru-senpai!" said Hinako.

"Uh, that's Hikaru, Hina-chan." said Mamoru.

"Oops." said Hinako, a sheepish look on her face.

"Have you two seen Kaoru?" asked Hikaru, panting. "I've been running all over town!"

"Uh, no. Have you tried Harsh Saint Cry?" asked Mamoru. Hikaru smacked himelf on the forehead.

"Duh!" he said, and cleared his throat. "Narihibiku senshi no,

Shakunetsu no rizumu!

Ah, rushing wind!

Unmei no Hikari,

Taion wa anata wo ima kanjiteta!" he began "Harsh, harsh!

Harsh, harsh!"

"Umi ni naku shinpi no,

Bokyaku no rizumu!

My deep sea,

Seijaku no Hikari!

Kono yubi wa anata mo ima kanjiteru!" came the reply.

"He's in the hotspring district! Follow me!" said Hikaru, sprinting off.

"Sakura-san, Naruto-san, Sai-san, come on! Follow us!" said Mamoru.

"Um, alright..." said Sakura, slightly confused. Hikaru kept singing, tracking his twin by voice.

"Toiki wa kaouru,

Kieru kara, moeru kara,

Hoshi wa kagayaku yo!

Katachi wo kaete mo,

Moeru kara, kieu kara,

Ai wa kagayaku no!

Harsh, harsh, Uranus!

Harsh, harsh, Neptune!

Arabaru tsuki wa,

Ima michite,

Osorezu ni,

Harsh myth,

Harsh saint cry!

Kono chi wo kiseki wo,

Tokiakasu, yobisamasu,

Harsh myth,

Harsh domain!

Moetaru hoshi wa,

Tokiakasu sakuretsu no,

Harsh myth,

Harsh saint cry!

Harsh myth,

Harsh,

Break the silence!!" ended Hikaru, as they saw a figure drop from the cieling. "Hi, guys!" he said, smiling.

"Kaoru, spying on the men's bathhouses again? Jeeze!" said Mamoru.

"What, jealous he didn't wait for you?" asked Hinako, nudging her friend in the ribs. Mamoru blushed furiously.

"Well, he'd like what's going on! There's a couple in there!" said Kaoru.

"X-Ray Jutsu." said Mamoru, using the jutsu that allowed him to see through anything, much like the Byakugan, He saw two people making out in the water. The one on the bottom he recognized; kind of long brown hair, a thin scar across the nose. 'Iruka-sensei!?' he thought, looking at the silver haired form that had attached its lips to Iruka's.

"Kakashi, I love you." said Iruka, holding the other man's face. Kakashi let out a small laugh.

"And I love you, my little dolphin-chan." said Kakashi. His face was in clear view. Mamoru gasped; Kakashi was extremely handsome. Iruka then turned his to the side, Kakashi planting kisses down Iruka's neck and chest. Kaoru dropped back down from the ceiling.

"Well?" he asked, smirking. Mamoru was blushing fiercly.

"He's gonna be out for a while. Just imagine; he can read smut but not watch it!" said Hinako, roaring with laughter. Mamoru turned to her, a spot on his upper left arm glowing.

"DON'T MAKE ME USE MY VENUS POWERS ON YOU!" he said, his voice echoing. Hinako smiled.

"Bring it on! Jupiter Crystal Power, Henshin!" she shouted. She spun around, rings of lightning forming an atom shape. When the lightning cleared, a Jupiter mark appeared on her forehead, and it expanded into her helment, the jewel gleaming as her hement spread over her head, the visor and mouthguard clicking into place. She then assumed her pose, right arm straightened, and her left arm flexed. Shinobi Mokusei stepped foreward, visor gleaming. Mamoru stepped foreward.

"Venus Crystal Power, Henshin!" he shouted. He spun a ribbon of stars around himself, and the stars spiraled into the ground, where they exploded into a wave of tiny yellow stars. As he spun, he brushed the hair out of his face, and the mark of Venus on his forehead expanded into his hement. He then posed, his right arm streched vertically, and his left arm crossed over his chest.

"Let's take this outside." said Shinobi Kinsei. The two exited the building, a small crowd of observers building up on benches.

"Flower Hurricane!" shouted Mokusei, a swril of flower petals whipping towards Kinsei. He got caught in the whirlwind, spiraling up. He pointed his finger to the ground.

"Crescent Beam!" he shouted, the force launching him out of the whirlwind. He landed gracefully on his feet.

"Venus Love and Beauty Shock!" he shouted, the yellow heart sriking Mokusei. A small antenna rose up out of her jewel, and it began sparking.

"Sparkling Wide Pressure!" she said, throwing the thunderball at Kinsei. He dodged and jumped, using a rock as leverage.

"Venus Wink Chain Sword!" he shouted, a blade of light erupting from his right hand. The blade hit Mokusei, a large cut appearing on the chest of her uniform, her civillian outfit's top peeking out from underneath. The outit meshed itself back together, and Mokusei crossed her hands.

"Supreme Thunder!" she shouted, the lighting ripping toward him. He pointed, and another yellow beam appeared.

"Crescent Beam Shower!" he shouted, the beam splitting, crashing against the lightning.

"Damn!" said Mokusei, snapping her fingers. She then tried a stronger version of the attack, the lightning converging.

"Supreme Thunder DRAGON!!" she shouted, and the lightning formed a dragon, which roared aggressivly. Kinsei braced himself; there was no way to dodge the Thunder Dragon. Just then, however, a stream of flames shaped like a bird and a bullet of water crashed through the dragon, destroying it.

"Huh?" asked Kinsei, who looked to the source of the attacks. Two simillarly attired people stepped out of the bushes...