Author's Note: Hello there! This must be the hundredth Mary-Sue parody I’ve ever written, but considering how the Death Note section has been taken over by them lately, I figured I had to do something. I may have already sold my soul to Fullmetal Alchemist and had my heart stolen by either Lord of the Rings or Chronicles of Narnia, but I figure I’ve still got an extra kidney, a gallbladder and an appendix (the organ, not the book section) to spare. Well, at least for L :)

No spoiler warning yet. If you’ve watched at least the dub so far, you’re not going to have a problem. Pretty much all the OC names save Akemi’s (and other ‘serious’ OCs) are going to be pun-ish and silly. To quote an obscure but awesome comedian, “The right people will get it.” ;D And if you have a character with the same names as these…it’s probably your fault for being unoriginal. Apologies for any spelling and grammatical errors, I try my best to get them all!

Summary: Why does L keep running into people claiming to be his successor, the billionth Kira and…his girlfriend? Since when did he know a ‘Kyoko Kawaii’ or a ‘Bright Shichigami’? Time is running out, and if the sugar withdrawal doesn’t kill L, the ‘Original Characters’ just might…

Death Note and all related non-original (as in, not made by myself) subjects © Tsugumi Ohba, Takeshi Obata, Shueisha, etc. I’m only borrowing it for a bit, I swear:)

Original Characters (OCs) © Me. Although I’m sure you couldn’t care less…(I know I wouldn’t! -amused-)

The End Justifies The Dreams

Chapter One: K is for Kira!

Akemi was bored. There was only so long a person could stare out a train window before they became bored…especially since all she could see was pitch-black darkness.

Suck it up, Miyamoto. She thought sternly. If you nail this job, you’ll be taking this route every night to work.

The twenty-two-year-old nervously smoothed her clean black skirt at the thought, although she’d ironed it so many times the night before Akemi sincerely doubted she’d find so much as a single wrinkle.

Deciding to try taking her mind off her current predicament, she turned her attention to her fellow passengers. Looking around, she was surprised to see only one on the deserted train, a man.

Or at least she assumed it was a man. Akemi couldn’t see past the enormous newspaper, and could only make out the tips of his messy black hair. He grasped the newspaper as if it was contaminated, holding the paper between his thumbs and index fingers. She couldn’t see his legs…Akemi guess they were hidden behind the newspaper. Upon further inspection, she noticed a pair of shoes on the floor before him. Was he simply wearing his socks?

Apparently noticing her scrutiny, the man with the paper lowered it slightly and peered over the top, and Akemi quickly looked away before they made eye contact. From what little she’d seen, he’d had very unnerving eyes…large, and with the air of being able to see everything about you.

Why do all the weirdoes come out at night?

Common sense quickly told her that very few people took a train this late at night. Well, at least she wouldn’t have to worry about one of Tokyo’s famous rush hours.

There was a jolt, and Akemi began to feel the train slow down. She fidgeted even more. This was it, the second-to-last stop. After this, she’d have to walk another block and then she’d be there.

The train shuddered to a halt, and the doors opened automatically. To Akemi’s surprise, a shoeless young teenage girl with a white shirt, faded jeans and untidy black hair entered the car, managing to keep her balance as the train jerked once again and started to gather speed.

The strange girl immediately walked over to sit next to the strange man, radiating a strange, compelling aura. Akemi took an instant disliking to her, although she couldn’t have said why for the life of her. But Akemi’s politeness got the better of her, and the twenty-two-year-old quickly tried to tune them out. This proved impossible, however, as the strange girl had a rather annoyingly loud (but musical?) voice.

Alright then, see if I care. Akemi thought crossly. I’m too polite anyway…

“So, L…we meet again!” The strange girl said brightly. The man (who peered at her over the newspaper, as he had for Akemi) raised an eyebrow.

“Do I know you?”

Her smile froze, and Akemi oddly enough felt like the temperature in the room had gone down suddenly. She couldn’t help but feel a flicker of fear and irritation towards this strange girl, for some reason.

The feeling swiftly passed, however, and the girl laughed like he had just said something extremely clever. “Don’t you recognize me?”

“No.” The man said simply, catching the strange girl off guard with his blunt reply. Akemi had to resist the temptation to give him a sympathetic look and let him know she was listening; he obviously wasn’t too fond of the strange girl’s presence either.

The strange girl laughed again. “I’m Kyoko Kawaii! You know, the fourth famous world-class detective and your successor?”

Akemi frowned. ‘Kawaii’? What sort of family name is that

The man looked both surprised and wary at this declaration. “…What are you talking about?”

“I’m K, remember L?” She said happily, suddenly hugging him. He struggled in her grip, finally managing to give her a solid kick to the jaw and shove her off. Akemi cheered inwardly.

“How do you know who I am?” He said, his tone colder than ice.

Akemi had the distinct feeling that she was missing something, and then promptly reminded herself that she shouldn’t be listening to begin with and quickly looked away. Wait…L…that sounded vaguely familiar…

Kyoko pouted. “Aww, and right when I was going to tell you I’m the latest Kira.”

Akemi couldn’t help herself; her mouth opened wordlessly in surprise. She may not have been the sort of person to keep up with current affairs, but even she knew about Kira.

What…the heck?!

The man (‘L’?) seemed equally shocked, falling off the train seat. Akemi dimly noted that he was wearing the same clothes as the strange girl, and that the train was slowing again. She fervently thanked whatever god was allowing her a way out of a potentially dangerous mess. The train suddenly stopped, and Akemi was tempted to dart for the door.

“We’re destined to be together, L-kun…I want you to be my boyfriend…”

On hindsight, Akemi could only assume it was her compassion that held her back from taking the easily route out. Or the fact she’d just gotten the most marvelously insane idea, the sort she knew she’d regret later but would solve a lot of problems for the moment. Taking a deep breath, straightening her jacket and grabbing hold of her bags, she purposely strode towards the strange girl and tapped her on the shoulder.

“Excuse me, he’s already got a girlfriend.”

The look Akemi received could have peeled paint, curdled milk and broken mirrors all at once. She cringed to herself, momentarily wishing she could take it back; this teenage girl looked scary. But the former university student held her ground, giving the strange girl her best back-off-or-die glare. Not that she’d ever been particularly good at glaring to begin with, but she liked to think it was a valiant effort on her part.

“Oh really?” Kyoko said, her voice positively dripping with suppressed anger. “And who would that be? You?”

Akemi nodded, giving Kyoko a genuine smile and managing to keep her voice steady. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.”

If it was possible to incinerate people just by staring at them, Akemi was sure she would have just be a pile of ash on the dirty floor of the train. Nervously rubbing the back of her neck, she set about helping the poor man up. He was surprisingly light, and Akemi briefly wondered if he was underweight. In any case, he appeared to be shell-shocked at the moment, and was giving both of them a very strange look.

“Now, if you don’t mind, my boyfriend and I were on a date, and this is our stop. Have a nice day!” That said, Akemi proceeded to get out of there as quickly as was possible, grabbing the man’s arm and practically dragging him out.

The doors closed behind Akemi and L almost a second later, and Akemi couldn’t suppress a glimmer of self-satisfaction. The girl was gone now; she hadn’t gotten off the train quick enough.

“Could you let go of me now?” Blinking, Akemi looked over to see the man giving her an expectant look. Blushing slightly, she complied.

He certainly looked very odd; as she had suspected, he wasn’t wearing any shoes. Or even any socks, for that matter. He was indeed dressed similarly to the strange girl as Akemi had previously realized, with the same white shirt, denim jeans, although she supposed the girl was probably imitating him. He had horrible posture, and his eyes were rather large and…eerie. They made her feel uncomfortable, like she was the main suspect in a murder case.

She watched as he brought a thumb up to his lips, a thoughtful look on his face. “Why did you do that?”

Akemi blinked. “Well…I’m not quite sure. She was harassing you, wasn’t she?”

“Yes.” He had a pleasant voice. Quiet, but not grating.

“Well then, I did it because any decent person wouldn’t like to see people put on the spot for no reason.” She said simply. Upon seeing his unconvinced look, she added “I’ve already got a boyfriend, in case you’re worried I’m a stalker like that girl.”

He nodded. “Yes, I think I understand. Thank you.”

The man didn’t look like the sort of person who apologized or expressed gratitude very often, so Akemi decided to take that as a compliment.

“Don’t mention it, it was no trouble at all!” She said brightly. He gave her a look like he thought she was insane, but she didn’t have time to contemplate what sort of a first impression she’d made as Akemi suddenly noticed the clock out of the corner of her eye.

“Darn it! I’m going to be late!” She swore, quickly checking her watch. Then she relaxed; Akemi was indeed going to be a bit later then she’d thought (Akemi had hoped to be fifteen minutes early, just to get off to a good start) but she was still far from being tardy.

“Oh, never mind, I guess I’m not.” She said, laughing nervously. Great way to make a fool of yourself, Akemi…

He looked impassive. “Then perhaps you could direct me towards the nearest shoe store?”

Akemi raised an eyebrow, wondering what on earth he was talking about, when she suddenly remembered something. A feeling of dread growing in the pit of her stomach, she looked down. He wasn’t wearing his shoes…which meant they were still on the train…

She blinked, her mind putting two and two together. “Oh…oh dear…”

“Precisely.” He replied, apparently well aware of what she was thinking. “Now, if you would be so kind-“

“I’m sorry!” Akemi interrupted, her guilt winning out over her inborn courtesy. “I’m terribly scatterbrained today – it’s my first day at work, you see - and I’m afraid this is all my fault! Here, we’ll find a store and I’ll buy some to make it up to you.”

“I can manage perfectly well on my own, thank you.” He replied, his expression giving nothing away. He was a hard one to read, that was for sure.

“I insist!” Akemi protested. “It’s the least I can do after all the trouble I’ve caused you!”

He shook his head. “I don’t like wearing shoes anyway, so I’m afraid I’ll have to decline again. Thank you…”

She raised her eyebrow at the shoe comment. Nevertheless, it took a moment for Akemi to realize he was hinting at something.

“Oh! Akemi Miyamoto, at your service.” She bowed with an exaggerated flourish. “And you are?”

He watched her with something resembling mild curiosity. “Hideki Ryuuga, but you can call me Ryuuzaki.”

Akemi was puzzled. “…Didn’t that girl call you L?”

“I’ve never met her before in my life. She must have thought I was someone else.” He said dismissively, and then after a pause added “If you think about it logically, the chances of me being that world-class detective are roughly…-.006 percent.”

She raised an eyebrow. “What are you, some sort of human calculator? In any case, she seemed to at least know of you. She even had the same appearance!” Akemi gestured vaguely at him.

He didn’t even look remotely surprised. “I can assure Miyamoto-san that I am not-“

“LOOK! IT’S L!”

Akemi would have consider the scared look on his face very funny; at least, under any other circumstances. Catching her completely off guard, he ducked behind her like he could use her as some sort of human shield. A mob of fangirls (all, scarily enough, dressed exactly like him) thundered to a stop in front of her, bright-eyed and with eager expressions on their faces. One of them (the leader? She certainly looked intimidating enough…) stepped forward.

“Did you see a dark-haired man in a white shirt, jeans and not wearing any socks pass by just now?“

Akemi blinked. They couldn’t be seriously, could they? He was right behind her…”Uh, yeah, I did!”

“You did?!” She replied enthusiastically. “Which way did he go?”

“Umm…that way?” She pointed left, and immediately they stampeded off in that direction, leaving the two in the dust. Somewhat annoyed, Akemi turned towards ‘Ryuuzaki’, her irritation plain to see.

“So, still care to deny you’re L? Or are you going to quote some random statistic on how unlikely it is that you are?”

He simply chewed slightly on his thumb, his expression blank. The women rolled her eyes, deciding that it really wasn’t any of her business and she didn’t need to know anyway. It was probably some sort of silly nickname…

It was kind of ridiculous to think otherwise, anyway. I mean, running into the L in a train station of all places? She’d hope someone reputed to be that smart would keep a low profile, if anything.

That question out of the way, Akemi immediately debated on how far she was willing to go to make it up to this mysterious ‘Ryuuzaki’. The nearest shoe store was not very near at all, and she’d rather not be late for her first day on the job. Oh well, it was only a few blocks away from the station. Not that far out of her way.

“Well, in any case Ryuuzaki-san, I can lend you my sneakers. You’re lucky I didn’t want to get my good shoes wet and I brought along an extra pair!”

Sitting down on a nearby bench, Akemi fiddled with the laces for a moment. But instead of simply sitting down next to her, he carefully jumped onto the bench and crouched down next to her. Stopping for a moment to blink at him, he merely gave her an unreadable yet somehow expectant look. Shaking her head in exasperated amusement, Akemi once again focused her attention back on the shoes. The silence didn’t last long, however.

“I hope this will not inconvenience Miyamoto-san?”

She laughed. “Oh no, not at all. I’m not inconveniencing you, I hope?”

He seemed to ponder this for a minute, his eyes drifting up to the ceiling and examining a broken light fixture. “…No, I do not believe so.”

Akemi smiled, handing him the shoes. “Then everything’s fine.”

As if to contradict her statement, vaguely sadistic (and yet girlish?) shrieks of delight rang out behind them. Quick as a shot, Ryuuzaki had grabbed her arm and they were running, a horde of crazed fangirls on their tail. Barely able to manage much more than a surprised ‘oof!’ before she was pulled along for the ride, Akemi struggled to try and keep her balance, more or less succeeding to her relief. The escalator was a bit difficult, though…

“Which way?” He called, stopping. Akemi didn’t hear him at first, silently wishing he’d just let go of her arm. She was sure she’d have bruises later on, considering how hard he’d yanked it.

He let go, and she rubbed her arm tenderly, finally managed a reply. “Umm…the west exit, then down the seat, turn left, keep going to the end and then turn right and you’re there.”

Though not for the first time, Akemi wondered exactly what she’d gotten herself into.

---

She darted quietly through the crowd, only a few metres behind, her eyes firmly fixated on her prey. She snarled as someone accidentally ran into her, feeling pleased when the women blanched and hurried on without another word.

Yes, life was good.

And it was about to get better. Here on the busy streets of Tokyo, she knew exactly where she was going; it was her native territory. They were even helping her by moving away from the main street, off onto a quieter (and darker, she noted gleefully) road. Her prey didn’t even notice her approach, to intent on talking to…A Possible Rival?! Bright’s eyes narrowed; she’d have to deal with the women quickly. Thank goodness she had a Life Note that could also function as a Death Note, gifted to her by a Tenshi!

She snuck up behind them, waiting patiently for just the right moment. And then-

“Hello!”

However, instead of having the intended effect of scaring the heck out of him, Bright was rather disappointed to see he not only took it in stride, but seemed wholly unsurprised.

But…but…Bright was a former assassin and a black belt in karate! L was awesome, but she bet even he couldn’t throw a kunai from a hundred yards away, with perfect accuracy! Couldn’t he have at least looked a little scared?!

“What do you want?”

…And perhaps acted a bit more polite?

She smiled nevertheless. This was her big chance, the only way she could ever get Light-sama to accept her! “My name’s Bright Shichigami, and I’m-“

“You’re one of them, aren’t you?” He interrupted. “You’re after Light Yagami, and you intend to use me to either find him or earn his favour.”

“Excuse me?” Her smile froze. What?! How did he know that, my plan was perfect

“Your clothes and hair…you look exactly like Light Yagami.” L said, pointing to said evidence. “Furthermore, you won’t be the first of your kind I’ve run into.”

Bright was, for once, speechless. Akemi sighed, before saying “Now that you two have gotten that out of the way, how about you get off the road before-“

There was the sound of screeching tires, and L and Akemi were temporarily blinded by powerfully bright headlights. There was an ominous thud, and then the car sped off into the distance. Blinking the sunspots from her eyes, Akemi looked over to see the prone form of the girl she’d just been talking to, lying in a pool of blood. The women could only make a sound somewhere between a strangled sigh and a gasp.

“Did…that just…”

L crouched down next to the girl, holding her limp wrist up like it was infected with something contagious. “Hmm, no pulse. I think it’s safe to conclude she is dead.”

“We…we need to get an ambulance!”

L thoughtfully chewed his thumb, and before Akemi could so much as berate him for ignoring her, he stood up and walked away. The former university student blinked, wondering if he’d truly left her with a dead body to take the fall, before he came back with a rather bewildered looking young man.

“So…you just want me to call the police and answer their questions? Won’t they want to talk to you, since you saw it happen?” He asked nervously, apparently thinking L was some sort of lunatic. Upon seeing the body, however, the man’s eyes widened and he stumbled back a step.

“Yes, that’s the general idea.” L replied smoothly, not missing a beat. “This women and myself are, unfortunately, on a tight schedule. If you could oblige us by letting us go, I’m sure no one will be any the wiser.”

The man nodded mutely, eyes still fixed on the dead girl that lay only a few metres away. Apparently satisfied with this answer, L turned to Akemi, the same blank look on his face. Akemi was beginning to wonder if he ever smiled at all.

“Now, I believe we should continue onward.” He said simply.

And though Akemi had once prided herself on knowing better, she followed him.

---

As I’m sure most of the fangirls reading this know, ‘kawaii’ is a Japanese term that basically means ‘cute’. It’s used in fanfiction. A lot. I also didn’t use the western order for putting given names before surnames. I added in Japanese honorifics as well, just because it feels weird not to use untranslatable things like that in a fic located in Japan. If anybody has trouble with understanding them, let me know and I’ll include a guide in the next chapter :)

I can’t quite decide whether to keep this as a one-shot or continue it. If I did, there’d be no way in heck Akemi would become a world-class detective/infamous serial killer. She’s a bit slow, if you know what I mean! -snickers- LxOC romance pretty much depends on what people want, though I’d prefer not to go there…actually, I’d really, really prefer not to go there…but I have some really good ideas, and I’m very tempted to continue this. What do you think?