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I gulped, recognising the sound instantaneously. That scream, ear piercing. Heart breaking; I knew who it 'ad come from. Me gut and ears were in agreement. I knew it was 'im - the first time I 'eard 'im scream, he'd sounded more like a pissin' girl than ever. He'd told me to go 'arder, faster, bent over and begging like the dog he was. I obliged, like the good bum bandit I was. Fucking fairy.

Me lighter was quickly burning out. I needed to get to 'im. I had to stop them doing anymore damage than it sounded like they already 'ad. I ‘ad to forget about the past and concentrate on getting to ‘im before it was too late.

I fumbled around my jacket. I felt sure I'd got more than just one lighter on me, just in case. Then, I came across a packet of matches. Thank ruddy God.

I struck one up, my heart pounding against me chest as I stumbled through the darkness, dodging the darkest clouds around me. There was some light, trying to flood through the near opaque windows, stained with muddy rainwater. I saw shadows emerge, darkening the unrecognisable ground. They were cackling like demented witches. I could just see them, mocking my Sammy. Twisted sods.

"How are you now, DI Tyler?" I 'eard one of them snarl, their voice effortlessly cruel. Fucking twat.

I stepped forward, watching their faces only twitch slightly - people like that never showed remorse. They didn't even look surprised to see me. "Drop your weapons," I demanded, still keeping me focus on them. I daren't look at 'im for fear of what I might find.

"Well, well, well, Tyler - looks like your buggering partner can go to hell with you!" he exclaimed, perversely sweet like. He kicked Sammy. Hard. A sickening thud followed by an equally as sickening groan; short and desperate.

I remember swallowing the thick saliva that had been mingling in me mouth. Now was not the time to lose me bottle. "I'm not going to ask you again - put your bloody weapons down - NOW!"

Another one of 'em stepped from the shadows, balaclava over their presumably ugly mug. "Or what, DCI Hunt?"

Cocky arsehole.

I couldn't quite make out where they'd come from. Their accents weren't foreign but not British either. They knew us, that I felt sure of. 'Is voice...I knew it from somewhere. I just couldn't put me finger on it. He obviously knew more about me that I'd care to admit.

He 'oisted 'is gun into the air, squinting as 'is 'and steadily pointed it to me chest, without an ounce of guilt. I thought I felt me heart thudding against me windpipe. There was no where to run. I couldn't even 'ave protected 'im: the one I guess I truly loved.

Perhaps it wouldn't 'ave been such a bad thing, if I'd got shot. I wouldn't 'ave 'ad to face some of the shit a bit later on. I would 'ave saved meself the pain of that at least.

Plumping up me chest, I was ready to take it like a man. I closed me eyes, taking one last large breath, relishing the lingering cigarette smoke and whisky that I could smell on meself. I started to think of all of those good memories. It took literally seconds, from me childhood, to me wedding day. Then 'is first day in Manchester. From then on, the memories rolled in me head, sort of blissfully but with many sudden trips along the way.

They too came to an end pretty quickly. It troubled me to think that we'd never 'ave any more moments like them. Our quips to one another that always ended with us proving the other wrong, laughing any of our arguments off; we'd certainly made each other mellower. It was as if we were free to show each other our imperfections, trusting the other to improve them with each passing day. Together.

The idea of that all coming' to an end - that nearly tore me in two.

We weren’t perfect and neither of us ‘ad kidded the other into believing so. We knew what we were good ‘at and what we weren’t, what the other liked and what they didn’t. It was all a learning process with ‘im, as if we really were toddlers, trying to push our way forward, to be accepted in the big wide world.

I don't believe in all that afterlife shit. You have one life, one chance to do everything. Then you're gone like a puff of smoke.

Now I wished I was a praying man - not for meself but for 'im.

I 'eard a faint cry of 'is - a soft mumble of agony before unconsciousness must 'ave slipped over him like a needled blanket; uncomfortable yet protecting 'im from the horrid sights that consciousness might bring. God, that 'urt. I winced, feeling tears prick at me eyes. Why 'ad I all of a sudden turned into such a pansy?

My eyes only opened a crack, my vision still submerged in darkness. I rested me 'ands against me stomach, wishing that I was fitter so I could 'ave 'ad a good chance of running away from this bullshit.

"Bye Sammy - see you in 'ell." I whispered wryly, hoping that me own voice would bring calm to me and 'im if he could 'ear me.

Shutting me eyes again, I held me 'ead up 'igher - I was gonna take this like a man, not a mouse. I 'eard 'im click the bullets into place - I was past caring. I'd got a failed marriage, a job which I wasn't enjoying anymore (well, would you be able to in this situation?!) and me DI come bum buddy conked out on the floor. None of this would be described as appealing to anyone with their half brain cell in tact.

Suddenly, I 'eard hasty but soft footsteps drawing closer, jogging over to us. My eyes opened only barely seeing that the shooter was now on the floor - bleeding. My ears ‘ad stopped working through choice – never again did I want to ‘ear my Sammy whimper like he ‘ad done moments before ‘and.

Finally, the rest of the team 'ad got their sorry arses into gear!

I left me Sergeant and Constables to make the arrests. I couldn't move, didn't think I'd 'ave to face this haemorrhaging mess beneath me. I thought we were both goners.

I kind of wished we were both goners.

Then, sweet Annie Cartwright came trundling over, 'er big eyes lighting up the whole room with 'er own brand of unexpected cheerfulness, perhaps a little confused about all of this...this silence surrounding us.

I couldn't bear to see what 'appened next; I 'eard 'er gasp, 'eard her tiny yet fast steps dash over to 'im. She shrieked, falling to the ground beside 'im, 'er sobs dramatic and girly. 'Ow birds could show that kind of emotion was beyond me.

I finally found the courage to see 'im, a vast crimson puddle engulfing 'im into the darkness.

"Gov! GOV - DO SOMETHING!"

I felt meself panting, tears hitching in the back of me neck. I needed to be the backbone for my team, not some crying, poncey div.

I shook meself, the daze doing nothing for no one. "Right, right...Ray, call a ruddy ambulance..."

I saw him deliberate, shocked by 'is superior’s state. I saw 'im shift 'is eyes back from my bluntly perplexed gaze to Annie's scared face and to Sammy's motionless carcass.

"NOW!"

He ran like a scolded dog to one of our cars outside, 'is face as white as the winter’s snow.

Chris was dumbfounded. Well, more than usual. With his mouth agape, I demanded that he and the other lads took the murderous bastards back to the station. I didn't want this to turn into a circus freak show, everyone staring at Tyler as if he was really goin' to die. I couldn't face that - not then anyway.

Now, it was only us three stranded 'ere. With the cursing of the nonces and plodding of me coppers becoming fainter, the three of us in this relationship were alone. Together. I didn't include me missus anymore. Me and 'er died a long, long time ago.

I half snarled at 'er, me good side wanting to be sympathetic. Poor bitch - she clearly 'ad no idea what me and 'er soon to be 'fiancé' 'ad been up to. Or at least, she wasn’t letting on that she knew.

"Annie, love, the ambulance will be 'ere soon." I said, my voice low trying to 'ide any ill-feelings I 'ad towards 'er.

Then, me 'eart sank lower to the pit of my stomach. Me lighter 'ad just lost its battle for life, the flame growing distantly smaller with each passing second. She glanced up, 'er 'ead sunk low into 'is chest as she cradled 'im in 'er arms, 'er sobbing uncontrollable. Soppy cow - 'ad she even bothered to feel for a pulse?!

I lit a match, knowing that the lighter’s illumination was really gone. Then, I really did feel bad for 'er. 'Er eyes red and bloodshot like a Basset, 'er mascara smudged around the rims of 'er blue eyes as if she'd done fifty rounds with Muhammad Ali. She looked - and sounded - 'orrible, a million miles away from the DC Cartwright we'd often leer at in the office, some of us in a vague attempt at trying to be straight.

"I...I shouldn't b-be thinking this way s-should I?"

At first, I barely registered that she was talking. 'Er whispers were so fragile, like glass, threatening to shatter the dreams my DI once 'eld close to 'im.

I grunted, sarcasm creeping back into me voice; I swear none of this was real. I'd wake up in 'is dingy flat in a couple of minutes, 'im lying practically on top of me as if I'm gonna just magically leave 'im.

Oh 'ow irony always rears its ugly 'ead.

"Thinking which way?" I asked. I was beginning to lose the will of me good side; me bad side was starting to smother any sentiments of being sympathetic with the dumb bird that I may 'ave 'ad.

She didn't answer me though. Instead, 'er hands fluttered through 'is 'air, pushing it back from his sweaty 'ead; he was goin' into shock. And there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

I looked away, turning my back on them. I was never very good at all of this ill shit. I remember once, when we'd 'ad dozens too many to drink at the Arms, he was throwing up sommats awful. I couldn't go comfort 'im. For one, I was slouched over 'is bed, meself too pissed and lazy to move. Secondly, I just couldn't deal with it; the retching, the plop of spittle into the bog as the water splash up in a mini tidal wave. It just wasn't in me to play 'Nursie'. Not at all.

Me 'ands pressed against me face, I pushed back any tears that were now stabbing at me eyes. I couldn't lose it now - not in front of 'er - the devil incarnate. Besides the missus at least.

'Er own pitiful grief soon turned to anger. "Why aren't you doing anything?" she cried between sobs, 'er voice 'igh and childlike, trying to be more like a parent; threatening, attentive but instead, she just sounded overly desperate and needy like the snivelling minor she was.

"What the 'ell could I possibly do?!" I yelled, panic stricken by my own irritation. I 'adn't meant to lose it, not with 'er. She'd only ever been good to me. I knew she was oblivious about me and 'im. You could just tell. The way she still looked at 'im. She didn't look like she knew 'im and I 'ad been...you know.

She scoffed, shaking 'er 'ead bitterly at me. "You could 'ave stopped 'em, Gov!"

"If it comes to that, so could you!" I retorted, equally as sour. No way was some Plonk gonna shout at me like that and get away with it.

'Er eyes tapered; 'ell 'ath no fury like a woman's scorn. "You're 'is boss, Gov. You should have taken the bullet for 'im.

"Don't you ever, EVER, tell me what I should or shouldn't do!" I snarled, me gnashers blazing as was me temper. I 'ad to stop meself from grabbing the bitch by the neck. She'd 'it a sore spot and she damn well knew it.

I 'eard 'er wheeze in shock, pulling Sammy back with 'er, 'olding 'im up a little as a kind of barrier between the two of us.

If only she knew.

I turned once again and looked away. I didn't like what I'd just said. Yep, that's right; Gene Hunt was falling apart at the seams, like a toddlers teddy bear missing an eye and 'is own stuffin' brain.

One nutcase once told us that fear turned us either into 'ero's or cowards. I shook, fearing my failings to protect the only person in the world who I'd consider a true friend was turning me into the gutless coward I'd always feared I was.

I'd known it a long time; I was scared. Too scared to even end me own dismal marriage.

The fear was always there that me and the missus would never make it. 'Er parents 'ad 'ated me the moment I'd strolled into their 'ouse. Still youthfully arrogant, as if the whole word should grant me instant respect. With me scruffy drainpipe jeans (when I still 'ad the figure to pull 'em off) and greasy 'air, I was 'ardly 'er Lawyer Father's idea of 'is only daughter's ideal 'usband'. If looks could 'ave killed, I would 'ave saved me parents the pain and expense of a funeral right there and then coz I would 'ave been dead and buried.

Still, would 'ave saved me a 'ell of a lot of trouble over the years!

I exhaled, barely comprehending where this day 'ad taken me; from an indecently but supposedly secure poofter relationship to an 'ostage situation we 'adn't really concluded. All because of 'im, the world was dismantling like a trampled on jigsaw.

Me senses were awoken by a familiar yet 'orrible screeching of the ambulance outside. I don't know 'ow long it 'ad taken them. I was killing time now, rather than counting it.

Two of 'em dashed in, torches floating over 'is body as they did their own routine; check for pulses, trying to get 'im to answer them. I think it was then that I must 'ave switched off. I don't remember if they'd been answered or not. I just stood, staring, me eyes glazed over like a pig on a spit roast as they secured 'im to a flimsy lookin' stretcher, unravelling 'is body from it's crumpled, contorted state.

It was as if I were inside a glass box, peering through the air tight surroundings. I couldn't 'ear anything. I just stood there, me 'ands 'opelessly 'anging in me pockets as they fiddled with 'im.

I followed them like the Welsh fucking sheep I was, the daylight blinding me as 'is injuries soon became painfully clear. I couldn't think about 'em though; I just glanced, moping.

"Who's coming with him to hospital?"

My 'ead snapped up. I became animated once again. "I will."

I saw Annie's face, tearful yet determined to be with 'im. Truth to be told, she was in no state to go anywhere apart from bed. Her minimalist amount of make up running a marathon, crimson stains tarnishing 'er pure white shirt. She couldn't go like that.

"Gov..."

"No," I answered firmly, 'er whispers brave but still with a whimsically child like highness. "Go get cleaned up."

She was gonna argue - 'er mouth twitching at the corners, her eyes tightening in 'orror. "Wha- what if?"

Shit. She was thinking what I was.

"That is not a request. It's an order," I replied, realising my unnecessary harshness. This situation was making me into that coward ever more by the second. I couldn't bare the thought of 'er face collapsing if...

"I'll call you if anything 'appens." What a rubbishy, generic line! I wondered 'ow many people honestly said that in a day, if them six words were really meant to be of comfort to anyone?

Me promise was enough to silence 'er - at least for now. Leaning over to 'im, she kissed 'is porcelain pale cheek, not looking back as she kept 'er 'ead down, one of me other officers escorting 'er away.

In a way, I kind of wish she'd stayed. She was obviously more experienced in these matters. Not the coward I was. I couldn't bare watching 'im struggle. Couldn't find me own strength to fight for 'im.

And I called meself a DCI?

One of 'em invited me into the back of the ambulance wit' me, expressing that it was in our best interest to go as soon as humanly possible.

There was a bench like thing beside 'im. I perched meself down, looking around. I'd never been in ambulance before. Except for when I was knocked out cold during a game of rugby. Huh, made me sound like a right sissy.

The paramedic must 'ave sensed the tension between 'im and me. He glanced nervously from 'is notes to Sammy, finally un-knotting 'is throat to speak.

"It's ok to touch him. In fact, it might help."

I gulped, keeping me leather gloves on me hands; he'd always loved the tough of leather against 'is skin.

To be continued...

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