Author's Note: Do I smell an uuuuuuuuuupdate!?

Disclaimer: I don't own the Legend of Zelda. No. The Big N does.

Let me ask you this right here and now, because I keep fearing I’ll never get to ask you this later… How would you feel if you just put your own life on the line for someone who doesn’t exist? How would you feel if that someone was nothing more than a clump of finely-detailed pixels? If that someone who had forced you to almost get yourself, and the one who supposedly believes in you, killed only to have the one you saved pass out on you and everyone else who also supposedly believes in you, take him away and leave you in the dust? Yeah, none too happy, I’m sure.

I guess I was lucky that the way back wasn’t too hard. Besides the fact that I couldn’t walk for crap, it wasn’t bad. There were no monsters, no Midna complaining--actually, she was rather quiet now that I mention it. I barely took much time to look around because I wanted to head right to the Death Mountain, to get Midna’s precious Fused Shadow and also get one step closer to home. I just stared at me dragging feet as I walked...

As I grew closer to Kakariko, I began to talk to myself. Don’t get me wrong, that’s just a bad habit of mine, but it’s just what I do. I suppose it’s stupid, but why are you even reading this if it’s so stupid? Oh wait…

Right when I reached the gates Epona had jumped over a few moments ago, I heard a familiar voice scream “HEEEY!” and soon enough a little jingle, the background music… (weird) began to play… (How come I just noticed the background music?) Well soon enough the Mailman arrived. “Greetings, miss Emily!” he said, saluting me as though I was an army official. “I have some letters for you. One as a matter of fact! Here you go…” The Mailman reached into that mailbag on his back and pulled out one small letter, no envelopes this time. “Well my business is concluded,” the Mailman said. “Onward to mail!” and like he did the first time, he spun around on his heels and ran off in the direction of which he came.

Midna swooped out of my shadow and glanced at the letter. “Are you going to open them, or do I have to again?”

“I can handle my own mail, Midna. And I hope you know reading other people’s mail is a federal offense.”

“Yeah, yeah. Open the letter already!”

“Yes, your highness.”

I could have sworn Midna flinched when I said ‘your highness’. Maybe she has paranoia issues or something. No matter. I opened up the normal looking letter and read it. It read in letters that looked like blood:

“You still live? No wonder you carry the title of ‘Hero’. I hope you don’t plan on living much longer, because I have something very special planned for you… Come and get me then, Hero!”

“Wow Rose,” Midna commented, slightly biting her upper lip. “People really have it out for you here. Well I can’t say I blame ‘em…”

“Yeah thanks. That makes me feel a gazillion times better."

“Uh-huh, whatever, Rose. Now do you need a lift into Kakariko?”

“I’ve got a better idea: why don’t you just make one of those portal thingys so I can warp back to the base of Death Mountain and not have to walk the rest of the way.”

“… I have to admit, good thinking, Rose. Well… fine…”

Portal Time! Midna pointed at the ground, a portal appeared, I stepped into it, and we--and by ‘we’ I mean ‘me’--were off! To Death Mountain!

--

So we arrived at the base of Death Mountain, which is where that half of my grand adventure had started. Midna closed the portal somehow and dove into my shadow. I was surprised she didn’t give me the usual ‘Get a move on’ quote. Hmm…

I sighed, well… best get this over with… again… If I die, then I hope Midna won’t encourage people to turn out my pockets and look for loose change, because I can guarantee you right now there isn’t any… Ha ha ha… stop giving me that look, it’s creeping me out…

It took me much longer to climb the ladder the second half. I guess it was because of my foot, which still hurt a lot. Do not underestimate the power of the Gorons… hey, that’d be a cool T-shirt! I always thought I should work with Nintendo’s merchandising campaign. I’d be awesome! ‘I survived getting hit by a Goron’ T-shirts, ‘Legendary Stafy earrings’, ‘Ninten’s handkerchief’s’… enough already, I know. Sowee.

Back to the climbing… oh yeah… It took long enough, but that’s besides the point…

“Little human!” that same Goron yelled at me as soon as I reached the top. “I thought that first lesson I taught you would… I thought that you would have learned from the first time you came here.”

“Well I’m sorry I didn’t die like you wanted me to,” I said somewhat snootily. “But I really need to talk to you…”

“There is nothing to talk about!” the Goron yelled, stamping his foot on the ground, which made it shake… (Oh dear…) “You shall be crushed! … I am sorry, little human… Please forgive me…”

“WAIT! Um… you wouldn’t honestly crush a… little girl, now would you? That’s just awful…”

“Hm… well it does seem like murder… and you are kind of cute… Ah! No! Sorry little human, but I can’t let you through!”

“Oh come on,” I said, in a sugary-sweet voice, trying to sound like a little kid. “Please?” I put on the ‘puppy eyes’ and it seemed to work like a charm.

The Goron acted as though his soul just melted away, “Alright, little human… I shall let you pass. Oh, by the way, call me Clint!”

Clint the Goron? Odd name. I thought for sure they’d be called tribal-Goron names like ‘Stone Crusher’ or something like that. Oh well, I honestly misjudge these type of things… Come to think of it, I don’t remember the Gorons having names in Ocarina of Time…

“Thanks… Clint?” I said politely as I slowly approached him. When I was sure he wasn’t going to charge me, I picked up the pace. When I was standing right next to him, I had to look up to see his face. “Thank you, sir.”

“Yes, little human,” he said in a somewhat edgy tone. “Hurry and go…”

“Okay!” I said happily, “Thank you and good bye.”

I took a few steps forward and then was hit on the back of the head with what felt like a rock.

WHUMP!

“Holy Twilight! R-Rose--"

WHUMP!

“Sorry… little human and little friend…”

To Be Continued...

Author's Other Note: Ow.