“Are you and my daughter sexually active?”

The thought must have just appeared in Charlie’s mind when he asked it, because it took even me by surprise. I blinked, my only concession to the unfamiliar feelings of panic coursing through my still veins. Bella was upstairs, and Charlie was standing stiffly in front of me, his arms crossed on his chest and his feet planted squarely in the doorway.

He refused to let me in the house, and though I could have slipped past him without any semblance of a struggle, the mere notion of an angry father kept me riveted to the spot.

“Sir, I value your daughter’s virtue, and because of such, I will do nothing to upset her.” I tried to look him straight in the eye, but his steely gaze refused to back down, even as all his natural instincts must have been screaming for him to do so.

“That’s not the answer to the question I asked,” Charlie said flatly, still refusing to let me past him and into the relative safety of the house.

I straightened my shoulders, my instinct chastising me and saying that I was not some child to be bullied. I was a man. I was a vampire. I was over a hundred for heavens sake. There should be no reason for me to cower before a law enforcement officer in a small, country town.

Yet logic did not work in my favor, and I admit I stood blankly in front of my soul mate’s father, utterly at a loss for words. Emmett would be happy to tell you that this is a rare occurrence.

Bella came down the stairs then, radiant in her blue jeans and simple cotton top, more beautiful than she could ever imagine. Her beauty, coupled with the awkward nature of Charlie’s inquiry had me fidgeting, something I immediately halted as soon as I realized what I was doing.

Bella has this bizarre notion that I am perfect, that I am never ruffled. How wrong she is! It is a wonder she does not notice how flustered I do get in her presence. Or, as it appears, in the presence of her father when he is asking me pointed questions about his daughter’s sex life.

In my day, the mere mention of the word in her presence would most likely have us married at gunpoint. Not that I would mind if this were to be my fate, the long suffering vampire that I am.

“You look stunning, Bella,” I said, trying to crane my head to see her past Charlie’s thick arm. He was leaning against the doorjamb now, scowling at me. This was the most emotion I’ve ever seen out of Charlie and it worried me.

“Bye,” Bella said, slipping under her father’s arm with ease and apparently not noticing the rigid lines of tension on his face. It was only when she tilted her head up to give him a final look that she noticed his proprietary stance.

She looked between me and her father, and when our eyes met, hers widened slightly. She could feel my discomfort.

“Well, time to go now,” she tried, attempting to beat a hasty retreat. Charlie reached out to grab her shoulder, gently, I noticed, and kept her still.

“Not so fast, Bella.”

Once he appeared satisfied that Bella would not run away as soon as he released her arm, he loosened his grip and she stumbled to my side.

Now we both faced him, a thick wall of tension enveloping us all.

“You’ve come to an age where there will be choices to make, Bella,” he began. He looked uncomfortable, but determined. Unwavering. Inwardly, I groaned.

Bella still did not have a the faintest idea what was going on, but she recognized the potential for embarrassment when she saw it, and a becoming blush fired her cheeks.

“Sexual,” Charlie coughed, and his mind debated between darting back to his chair and burying his nose in his paper or continuing the prolonged torture. “Sexual intercourse is a natural thing, but it is not something I want for you to be engaged in presently, Bella.”

I cursed in my head, my roiling inward emotions quite at odds with the calm look I projected on my face.

Must be calm for Bella, must be calm for Bella, must be calm for Bella…

I repeated the mantra continually, but my projected calmness did nothing to soothe her. She let out a cry of embarrassment when the first word left Charlie’s mouth, and her cheeks, which had been a pleasant, dusky rose, turned a firecracker red.

“Now, now Bella. Edward is a fine young man. But he is a man and a teenager to boot. The teenage male’s mind is constantly occupied with sexual thoughts, which I realize might come as a surprise to you, Bella.”

I blinked again, as Charlie continued as if I was not standing but three inches from his daughter in all her innocent, angelic virtue. I was suddenly quite pleased that Charlie was not a mind reader, as images from our heated embraces quickly flashed through my mind. Bella, in those cases, was almost always the catalyst, always urging us closer and closer to that insurmountable pinnacle. I coughed, just for something to do.

Bella had gone completely red, almost so red that it alarmed me. And Charlie simply continued preaching on the evils of the horny, teenage male.

I could actually believe most of what he was saying, having been in the minds of every male teenager in Forks. They really did think about sex often. At the most peculiar times, thought processes would flit from musings on breakfast, to bizarre video games, to fantasies of sex in closets, on desks, against blackboards, in garbage dumpsters, and other predictably impossible, highly unsanitary places.

When Mike Newton had these types of thoughts about Bella, I usually had to skip a few class periods to cool my ire and rage.

I tuned back in to Charlie, who had finally winded down. Bella looked like she wanted to sink into the floor, and I inched closer to her, ready to grab her if she decided to bolt.

With a nod to me, Charlie then bid us goodnight and went back to his paper and sports game, his mind already on the upcoming basketball tip-off.

We stood there for a moment, completely still.

After a full minute of this, as if in agreement, we walked stiffly to the car, the awkward silence pervading the air between us in a way that made me want to growl and turn back time.

“Does he know?” Bella asked me in a hushed whisper, her face a veritable tomato.

“That his daughter is completely and totally not the angelic being he pictures her as? No. In Charlie's mind, I am still the demon creature hell bent on seducing you.”

“Goodness, he’s taking a rather long time to catch on.”

“Bella,” I warned, not wishing to get into this with her now. Not when I was still smarting from an unfamiliar chastising.

“But I corrupted you and stole your virtue a loooong time ago,” she said cheerfully, all traces of her blush gone. The little sneak. My little perfect, beautiful, corrupted devil.

I shook my head.

“Three times last night if I remember correctly.”

“Bella!”

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Hehe. This was supposed to be a joke, by the way. I know there's hardly any chance of Bella and Edward being "together" like that, and Bella certainly isn't as good as an actress as I portrayed her:) This came in my head and demanded to be written, so I hope you enjoy, or it gives you a smile.

Thank you for all of the lovely reviews so far!