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Juli is sitting at her computer, writing her Sirius Story, “Ack! What Do I Do?”
Juli: My fic sucks…
Voice #1: Yes! Yes, it does!
Juli: Hmmm?? Who sad dat?
Voice #2: He did.
Juli whips chair around, looking away from her computer.
Juli: Ack! grins wildly PADDY SPANK!! Wait a second here…. Who insulted my fic?
James, Lily, and Moony, Harry, and Hermione all point at the teen Sirius.
Draco is pointing at Harry.
Juli: scolding Padfoot Paddy Spank, you’re the lead character! Wait a minute, you guys, sit here and wait! I gotta ring up Missie!
Runs with lightning speed into her VERY messy closet, and digs through the piles of clothes and board games and empty chip bags.
Juli: Aha! Found it! triumphantly holds phone
Juli hooks it up and dials a few numbers
Juli: as sweet as possible Hello, is Jessica there? waits tapping foot MISSIE FREAKIN LUPIN!! Get your hiny over here! You will NEVER guess who’s here!
Missie “freakin” Lupin: Hey! You know that’s not my name! Grr… Is it… Paddy Spank?
Juli: YES!
Missie Holy Shit! illegally apparates to Juliana’s house Omg! You weren’t kidding!
Padfoot: What? WHAT? Hmmm? What are you looking at?
Harry: Erm, Sirius, I’d watch out if I were you, because that’s the same look that Hagrid used to give to Norbert.
Juliana: looks shy Draco will you marry me?
Draco: looks scandalized No!
Juli: thoroughly pissed Fine! spins back around in her SWIVEL chair and types as fast as she possibly can. Ha ha! glares at Draco It pays to be da author. looks satisfied
Everyone laughs at Draco
Draco: WHAT? What? eyes bulging as he runs to my dresser mirror
Draco starts screaming and crying
Draco: What did you do to my hair? gasping
Juli: I just added in that last week you died your hair pink with red striped, and finally pronounced to the entire school at the Quidditch game that YOU are a MUGGLE LOVING…
Draco: NO!
Juli: Neville kissing!…
Draco screams
Juli: Poor boy WHO LOVES HUFFLEPUFFS AND GRYFFINDORS!
Draco starts sobbing
Juli: I’ll erase it if you marry me..
Lily and Hermione look scandalized, Moony is still wondering what the Hell is going on, why he’s here, and who this Missie Lupin is, Harry is laughing at Draco, and Missie is busying herself with Sirius who is trying to get away.
Draco: Humph! I’ll just do a spell to change it back… That’ll solve my largest problem…
Juli: Didn’t I mention Draco? You decided to become a muggle, and preformed a spell that got rid of ALL of your magic. You know… this can easily be fixed Drakie… There is this little button called the “Delete” button… But I’ll only press it if either, you marry me, or you become my boyfriend and I get to go to Hogwarts.
Draco faints
Juli: Finally! I thought he’d never do that! Whew… okay, now have any of you read my Ack! Story?
They all shake they’re heads except Missie who nods
Juli: Paddy Spank! How can you say it sucks if you haven’t even read it?
Sirius: I dunno… just felt like it… I guess because we- Missie cuts him off by snogging him
Juli: Ick! Missie! That’s my dad!
Everyone but Juli and Missie shriek, WHAT?!
Missie and Juli nod
Everyone but the two faint
Juli: Come on Missie; help me wipe their memories…
Ten minutes later…
Missie: Okay, now how do we get them back to Hogwarts-land?
Juli: Erm… who said we were going to do that? grins evilly
They all wake up
Juli: Oh Draco! Are you okay sweetie?
Draco: Huh? Where are we? Who are you?
Juli: Your girlfriend silly! And you’re in Massachusetts, in the States.
Missie: Paddy Spank, I know you love it when I call you by your nickname…. Are you okay sugar lumpkin?
Sirius: Er- yeah?
Juli: smirks, sick and twisted idea is in her head Hermione! Why aren’t you all over your boyfriend? You know, James?
Hermy: Oh! Right!
They passionately snog
Missie: catching on, being even grosser And Harry! You should be comforting your Lily!
Juli thwaps Missie
Juli: Sicko! What she meant to say was, Remus! You should be comforting your Lily!
They nod and kiss
Harry: Erm… I don’t have a girlfriend?
Juli: evil glint Don’t you remember Harry, Your Ronniekins couldn’t make it!
Missie: Look at the time! We should get back to Hogwarts! trying not to burst out laughing
Sirius and James and Remus: K! Apparacium malo!
They al are at Hogwarts and live Happily ever after, and of course everyone is wondering why Lily + James aren’t dead, but I explained that I was the author… so… You know!
!!THE END!!