Comfort

I don’t own these characters.

Comfort

I found Tasuki sitting on the side of the road, right where I thought he might be. I don’t know how I knew where he was, I just did. At first, I thought he was so drunk that he couldn’t walk so he was sitting on the road dazed, after all, Tasuki has a strong preference to alcohol and he did tell me he was going out to a bar yesterday. Then I saw him crying. He was sobbing uncontrollably, sitting on the side of the road.

I was a few feet away when a shock hit me. My mind was swamped with suicidal bouts of grief and pain. I stopped moving. Stopped breathing. It was so powerful. Never had I felt this kind of pain before. It was so clear. Obviously these weren’t my emotions. They were dripping with Tasuki’s energy. I never felt this sort of mental connection before. It was so clear. So vivid.

I longed to sooth him. I needed to calm him down. The thoughts I saw were morbid and frightening. I was surprised that they were his.

I wrapped my arms around Tasuki tightly. Unexpectedly, he wrapped his arms around me too, and buried his head into my chest. I had seen him in this state before. When Nuriko, Chiriko and the others had died. Tasuki was so loving and he made such strong bonds with anyone he could that when they died, he was heart broken.

Sure, Tasuki may act tough but I knew that he was one of the most sensitive and one of the most innocent members of our group.

"It’s okay to cry, da." I whispered quietly to him. I begin to rock him back and forward, back and forward trying to calm him down. He continued to sob into my kesa. He was so young, only 16. How many people had he lost in the last year that were close to him? How much did we all suffer for our cause?

"It’s okay to cry." And he did. He kept crying until he just fell asleep there in my arms on the side of the road. I picked him up gently. Tasuki wasn’t heavy at all. He seemed so fragile in my arms and that stunned me. Tasuki was innocent, but not fragile.

After, I carried him home, undressed him, and put him in a warm bath. By that time he had woken up.

"Thanks, Chichiri." He smiled weakly at me and ducked under the water. When he surfaced he looked more awake and a little of the color had returned to his cheeks. I shushed him and rubbed his back with a warm rag. Even though he had stopped crying, I could see the tenseness in his body. I needed him to relax more. Tasuki leaned forward so his chin was resting on the front of the tub and allowed me to continue.

"Why were you sitting on the side of the road crying, Tasuki, da?" I already knew why. The images from our connection were clear enough to say that he was sinking into a depression after loosing so many. But still, I needed him to get it out.

"I was feeling really depressed, Chichiri." He sighed softly and a shiver ran down his back. "I was thinking about them. About how much we lost in this fight. I was thinking about giving up." He lifted up his head to look at me with his cat-like eyes. "Do you ever wish that you could give up?"

Did I? I was stunned. I always tried to make sure our miko and the rest of our senchi were okay, but… I did think of giving up once in a while. Especially when Mitsukake died. I remember. I kept going though because I knew that I had to live up to his sacrifice and it would be shameful to give up after all of my friends had died to ensure we could continue. "Yes," I whispered, "once."

Tasuki nodded. "I want this to be over so bad."

"I understand. Me too." The water was starting to cool so I took a towel off of the rack and wrapped it around him when he stood up and got out of the tub. Tasuki pulled the towel closer to him and we walked into my sleeping quarters.

He sat down on my bed and I took out a loose shirt and pants and placed them beside him on the bed. He picked them up and dressed quickly then sat down again. I boiled some water for tea and brought over a cup for him. I gave it to him and sat down on the bed too.

"D you feel better now?" I asked while he was sipping the cup. He nodded and sighed and put the cup on the table by our bed. I smiled and wrapped my arm around his shoulders again and gave him a tight squeeze. He hugged me back tightly like when I found him this morning.

That night, both of us slept in my bed. There was nothing sexual about it; after all, I’m still a monk. We laid there silent, gathering comfort from each other and still locked in the hug.

Tasuki drifted off to sleep and eventually, I got up. There was so much on my mind that I couldn’t fall asleep. I had to wonder, what had happened? How did I see Tasuki’s thoughts? That had never happened to me before and Tasuki didn’t mention anything to me about it.

This stumped me. So, of course, I called Taiisukun. I may of lost my powers of a senshi when Yui made her wish but I still had my past connections with my old mentor.

"Taiisukun?" She appeared on the corner of my bed.

"Hai Chichiri. I’m here." She nodded her head at me and hopped off of the bed. "Tasuki-chan looks better." She nodded towards the lump of covers on my bed. I smiled.

"Yes. He had done much better now that he let all of that bottled stress out." Taiisukun smiled in return and let out a low chuckle.

"I guess it helps when you can tell what he is feeling, eh?" I wasn’t surprised that she knew what happened between Tasuki and I.

"Was it a gift, Taiisukun?" She shook her head and sighed.

"That wasn’t something of mine. I had no hand in your ‘connection’ with this young ruffian." She began to pace the floor. For a moment, I was concerned that she would awake Tasuki but I put that aside when I remembered how soundly he slept. Taiisukun turned serious and sat on the bed again, near Tasuki. "This young one shows a lot of potential." She uncovered the sleeping redhead and ran her hand softly over his eyes and then his right arm, where yoku once was.

"His courage is astounding." I sat on the other side of the bed. Taiisukun looked up at me and nodded.

"Because you two were once senshi," she began, "that means you have a bond with one another. If something important or painful is happening to another member of your team, you can feel it.

"When Nuriko died, you all felt it right?" I nodded and understood what she was getting at. Even though our powers wee no longer usable, we were still the Suzaku Senshi, so we were still held together.

"Thank you, Taiisukun." I stood up and bowed to her and she nodded at me.

Tasuki stirred as she left. I sighed and slipped into bed next to him while he sat up and stretched.

"Chichiri," he looked at me sleepily, "why don’t cha go back to bed?" I smiled and lay down.

"Da." He wrapped his arms around me again for a quick hug and then drifted off to sleep. I closed my eyes and fell asleep, too.