Author: Malcolm Fox PM
Well, The Griffins and Murdocks are back and ready for another set of wild, zany, & outright hilarious adventures. This fic has been cancelled...Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Meg G. - Chapters: 47 - Words: 253,413 - Reviews: 487 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 07-26-10 - Published: 02-26-08 - id: 4098184
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
The Unnamed Sequel
Disclaimer: I do not own Family Guy or the characters associated with Family Guy. Seth MacFarlane owns them. I do, however, own Zack, Maddie, Tilly, C.J. and other original characters.
(A/N: This story takes place only a few months after the end of "Meg's Boyfriend" so the characters haven't changed a bit. Sorry if you were expecting a sequel with bigger changes.)
Chapter 1: One Murdock Too Many?
"Are you sure you want to do this?" asked Zack as he and Meg talked in the living room.
"Zack, even you said we should do this," said Meg.
"I know, but I'm not sure if we're ready for this," asked Zack.
"What are you guys talking about?" asked Peter as he and Lois walked into the room.
"Zack and I are thinking of having another baby," said Meg.
"Oh crap! You're going to bring another little monster into the world?" asked Peter.
"Monster?!?! Maddie isn't a monster!" said Zack, "Stewie on the other hand..."
Meanwhile upstairs, Stewie is coloring inside a coloring book when Maddie walks into the room.
"Stewie, we need to talk," said Maddie.
"About what?" asked Stewie.
"It's about Jeff, from preschool," said Maddie, "Remember when he went missing after he tried to steal your backpack?"
"Yes, what about him?"
"Well I found one of his fingers in your toy box," said Maddie, "Care to explain?"
"Those aren't fingers," said Stewie, "Those are... Blast! What the devil are those called again? Hotdogs! Yes, hotdogs!"
"Hotdogs... With joints..." said Maddie.
"Yes, of course," said Stewie.
"Okay, just making sure," said Maddie as she waked away.
"I don't know," said Lois, "Meg's pregnancy with Maddie was unplanned. I mean, you both are pretty young and I'm not sure you're ready to handle another child."
"Yeah, I think it's a worse idea than the time I ran my own bulletproof vest shop," said Peter.
Peter is speaking with an unsure customer, trying to convince him to buy a vest.
"Are you sure these things work?" he asked.
"!00 guaranteed," said Peter, "I'm wearing one right now and to prove that they work, my associate, Glen Quagmire here will shoot me in the chest. Ready?"
"Ready!" said Quagmire as he cocked his gun and shot Peter multiple times. Peter is still standing, looking relatively unharmed.
"Wow, they really do work!" said the customer.
"Peter!" shouted Cleveland as he ran up to him, "You forgot to put on the vest!"
"Really?" asked Peter as he lifted his shirt and noticed multiple red bleeding circles, "Yeah... I suppose I did. The bullets are probably lodged in my fat... Be a pal and call some hospitals, Cleveland."
Maddie then walks into the living room wondering what everybody's talking about.
"What's going on?" asked Maddie, "Why's everybody in the living room?"
"Maddie, what's the one thing you want in the whole wide world?" asked Meg.
"Hmm..." said Maddie as she thought for a moment.
At NASA, Maddie has Olivia Fuller tied to a rocket ship heading out into deep space.
"Maddie, don't do this to me! PLEASE!" shouted Olivia, "You can't do this to me!!!"
"You're right," said Maddie, "...That's why I'm sending Connie with you."
"YOU LITTLE BRAT!!!" shouted Connie, "I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL FOR THIS!!!"
"Save your breath," said Maddie, "Because there's no air where you're going."
After the countdown is done, Olivia and Connie scream as they are shot upwards to their impending doom.
"...Nah! I'd rather have a pony," said Maddie.
"Well your father and I have decided that we're going to have another baby," said Meg.
"WHAT?!?!" shouted Maddie.
"That's right kiddo," said Zack, "You're going to have a baby brother... or sister... or both if it's twins... or a brother AND sister... or three brothers if they're triplets... or three sisters... or a sister and 2 brothers... or maybe even quintuplets... Well enjoy your space while it lasts."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!" screamed Maddie as she ran upstairs.
"Aw, look," said Zack, "She's screaming with excitement."
"Are you sure you want to do this?" asked Lois, "I mean, Zack doesn't even have a job anymore."
"I've got it," said Peter, "I can try to get you a job at the brewery."
"Wow, because nothing says good male role model than a father who works at a place that produces a product that produces abusive male husbands and child beaters," said Zack.
"...So I take that as a no?" said Peter.
"Hell no! I need the money!" said Zack.
"You guys don't need another baby," said Brian, "The world's already overpopulated as it is with people unnecessarily having children."
"If lazy jackasses can have kids to mooch off welfare, why is it wrong for me and my wife to have a kid to actually love?" asked Zack.
"It doesn't matter," said Brian, "It's still overpopulating and Meg's still a teenager."
"...Shut up," said Zack.
Maddie quickly bursts through the door of her room, still screaming and running around in a circle.
"What the deuce is all the fussing about?!?" asked Stewie.
"My parents!!! They... I... space... baby... I... AAAAAHHHHHH!!!" she screamed again.
"Pull yourself together!" shouted Stewie as he slapped her.
"Thanks... I needed that," said Maddie, "Now say that I've been a bad girl!"
"What?" asked Stewie.
"Sorry," said Maddie, "Grandma's genes must've kicked in."
"Alright, explain to me what's going on!"
"It's my parents! They want to have another baby!"
"Are you serious?"
"That's what they told me!" said Maddie, "I don't understand! I'M supposed to be the baby! Why would they want another one?"
"Maybe it's because you're not cute anymore," said Stewie.
"What's THAT supposed to mean?"
"Well, let's face it. You look like Meg," said Stewie, "That alone drops the cute factor to maybe 99.9."
"Says the one with the football shaped head," said Maddie, "But you do have a point. Maybe if I act more cute, they won't need another baby!"
"Exactly!" said Stewie, "Why they'll be putty in your hands if you're cuter than a basket full of puppies and kittens."
The next day, Meg is coming home from school and is about to open the front door. She is then approached by old man Herbert.
"Why hello there, Chris' sister," he said, "I heard some news that you and your man are gonna try for a second baby."
"Yeah... that's right," said Meg.
"That's good..." said Herbert, "You know if it's a boy, I'd like him to come over to my place when he gets old enough. I'll teach him how he's not supposed to touch people."
"...Okay..." she said.
"Well, I'll be on my way. Good luck and please try for a boy," said Herbert as he walked away.
"Goodbye, Mr. Herbert," said Meg as she then quickly runs inside and slams the door.
"What's the matter, Meg?" asked Lois.
"Nothing," said Meg, "Except Zack and I WON'T be having a son."
"C'mon, Meg," said Chris, "Old man Herbert is cool! He's always telling kids he got candy, and he has popsicles in his basement. Except mom won't let me go there and try them."
"Good job," Meg whispered to Lois.
"Hi mommy!" sang Maddie as she skipped downstairs in a hello Kitty outfit, "I missed you sooooo much!"
"Awww! Maddie you look-" said Meg before she sniffed the air, "What's that smell?"
"That's the smell of wuv, mommy!" said Maddie, "Ain't I just pwescious?"
"Wait, that smell's coming from that costume!" said Lois.
"Maddie, is that your Halloween costume?" asked Meg.
"Yes it is!" said Maddie, "And isn't it the cutest costume you ever seen your adowable baby ever-"
"Take it off!" said Meg, "There's a reason you can't wear that costume anymore."
At Halloween night, Stewie and Maddie walk into the house excited about all the treats they got. Maddie was in a cleaner kitty costume while Stewie was dressed up as Dr. Evil from Austin Powers.
"I can't believe all the treats we got!" said Maddie.
"Yes and no tricks..." said Stewie in disappointment as he set down a box of grenades, "I only live for the tricks."
"Did you have fun?" asked Lois.
"I sure did!" said Maddie.
"So, how much candy did you get?" asked Meg.
"I got lots! Let me show you!" said Maddie as she went to get her bag, but found it empty, "Huh?"
Peter walks in with his lips covered in chocolate and other different colors.
"You wouldn't believe it, Lois," said Peter, "Some kid was stupid enough to leave his candy lying around in our house. I ate everything from the bucket! Hehehe stupid kids."
"That was my candy..." Maddie said as she cried a bit. Then her face became red with anger, "That.. was... MY... CANDY!!!!"
She then punches Peter in the groin as hard as she can. Peter then falls to his knees clutching his groin.
"OH GOD... OH MY GOD!!!" screamed Peter as he threw up all over Maddie.
"Gross!!!" shouted Maddie.
"HA HA!!! Serves you right, fatass!" laughed Zack as he then coughs up a few candy wrapper, "Uh oh..."
"THAT WAS MY CANDY!!!"
"MADDIE, NO!!! WAIT!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" screamed Zack as Maddie punched Zack in his groin.
"I also remember ruining dad's favorite pants," said Maddie.
At that very moment Peter and Zack walk into the house.
"So how was your first day at work?" asked Lois.
"They won't let me work with the beer," said Zack "So I'm stuck working in the same office as Peter. What kinds of stupid rule is it that won't let a 20 year old work in the actual brewery."
"The law," said Brian.
"Sure, take their side why don't you," said Zack, "And what smells like barf?"
"Yeah, that's so NOT cute," said Peter.
"I'm gone," said Maddie as she walked away in shame in her kitty costume.
"So what did the test say?" asked Zack.
"Negative," said Meg.
"Oh well. We'll just have to try again tonight," said Zack.
"Crap!" said Maddie as she ran to her room, "Being cute didn't work! What else should I do?"
"You could try convincing them not to have another baby," said Stewie.
"I don't know! Lie to them," said Stewie.
"I'll give it a shot," she said as she ran back downstairs.
She rushes downstairs to Zack and Meg who were making out.
"Zack, I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with this," said Meg.
"Why not?" asked Zack.
"Well, for starters everybody else is still here," she said.
"Yeah, and we're not too comfortable with the idea of you making love in front of us, either," said Chris, "But it's good to see that you're trying to liven up your sex life a bit."
"Mom! Dad!" said Maddie as she ran into the room, "I've got this story to tell you."
"Let's hear it," said Zack.
"You see, I have this friend," said Maddie, "And her parents once had a baby and he was deformed and when he turned 9, he went insane and then slaughtered everybody in the house and stuff. And that's why you shouldn't have a baby. There, I saved your lives!"
"Wait a minute," said Meg, "How does your friend know about this if he slaughtered everybody?"
"Yeah," said Zack, "Shouldn't she be dead, too?"
"Unless...," said Peter, "Your friend... is a ZOMBIE!!!"
"..." Zack looks at in silence, "Peter, shut up."
"Time for plan C,"thought Maddie, "I didn't want to do this but it's a surefire way to stop this from happening."
"Daddy...," said Maddie as she looked at Zack innocently.
"Yes, pumpkin?" asked Zack.
Out of nowhere, Maddie headbutts Zack in the balls causing him to crumple to ground in pain.
"Oh! Right in the daddies!" laughed Peter.
"Crap! There goes another pair of good pants!" shouted Zack.
"Yes! Direct hit!" said Maddie.
"Madeline Mary Ann Murdock! What the hell is wrong with you?!?!" asked Meg.
"Go to your room right now!" shouted Zack in a squeaky effeminate voice.
Peter, Chris, Brian, and Lois laugh their asses off.
"He sounds like one of those chipmunks," said Chris, "You know, the ones who hang out with that pervy Dave dude!"
"Shut up!" said Zack in the squeaky voice, "All of you shut up! It's not funny!"
"Let's just get you an ice pack," said Lois as she and the others helped Zack into the kitchen leaving Maddie and Brian alone.
"Mission accomplished!" said Maddie, "I will now officially be sibling free!"
"You didn't accomplish anything," said Brian, "You're just delaying the inevitable."
"What do you mean?" asked Maddie, "Did you see that blow to the groin?"
"I'd make a witty incest joke from that poor choice of words, but I don't feel like it," said Brian, "Your dad's going to heal eventually and they're going to keep trying. You can't keep kicking him in the nuts forever."
"What am I going to do?" asked Maddie, "I love being an only child! I don't want to share!"
"Well, you could always run away and join the circus," joked Brian, "But seriously, you should just embrace the fact that you may have a younger brother or sister. You'll have somebody younger to teach new things to and to play with."
"I guess you're right, Brian," said Maddie as she walked upstairs, "Thank you."
Later that night inside Maddie's crib, she tosses and turns frequently. After waking up, she climbs from out of her crib and walks towards Meg's room.
"Mom?" she asked as she opened the door a crack. She saw her parents lying in bed. Her father was still in pain.
"Are you sure you're alright?" asked Meg.
"I'll live. I just hope our next kid won't be as much of a handful as Maddie," joked Zack.
"Wonder what he meant by that?" Maddie worriedly asked. She then noticed that Peter and Lois' room was opened a crack. She decides to eavesdrop on them.
"I still don't know if they should be doing this," said Lois.
"Me neither," said Peter, "But wouldn't it be awesome if they had a son, though?"
"What do you mean?" asked Lois.
"I mean, I'd want a son," said Peter, "Even though he doesn't say it, I'm SURE he's actually disappointed that he had Maddie."
"Don't talk like that," said Lois, "It's not true."
"I mean why else does he want another baby?" asked Peter, "After he met Cody, he probably just wants to try for a son of his own. I don't know how he could even stand having a daughter. I know I don't."
"Is THAT why they want another baby?" asked Maddie as her eyes began to tear up.
"Well, you could always run away and join the circus," joked Brian. After remembering those words, she quickly runs back into her room.
Stewie begins to wake up and sees a crying Maddie putting things into her backpack.
"Maddie? What the deuce are you doing?" asked Stewie, "And why are you crying?"
"I'm not wanted here," she whimpered, "That's why I'm leaving."
"Leaving to where?" asked Stewie.
"I'm running away to join the circus!" she said as she was packing her things into her backpack, "I'm only packing the essentials, so help me fit this TV and DVD player in here."
"Running away?" asked Stewie, "You mean you're not going to embrace the fact of having a younger sibling?"
"Did YOU embrace the possibility?" asked Maddie.
From the scene where Stewie is standing in his sandbox from the episode where he met Bertram.
"With god as my witness, I shall see to it that my parents never conceive!" said Stewie.
"Why of course," lied Stewie.
"Well, I won't," said Maddie, "Just tell everybody I said goodbye."
"I can't let you leave," said Stewie, "I'm coming with you."
"Really?" asked Maddie.
"Of course. I've always wanted to live the life of a carnie," said Stewie, "It should be more fun than the time we fought the Persian Empire."
Stewie is holding a sword in front of a Persian messenger whose back is facing a giant hole.
"Earth and water, said Stewie, "You'll find plenty of both down there."
"No man, Persian or Greek, threatens a messenger!" said the Persian messenger.
"You bring the crowns and heads of conquered kings to MY city steps," said Stewie angrily, "You insult my niece. You threaten my people with slavery and death! Oh, I've chosen my words wisely, Persian. Perhaps you should've done the same!"
"This blasphemy!" pleaded he messenger, "This is madness!"
Stewie then looks over to Maddie who slowly nods to him.
"Madness?" asked Stewie, "THIS... IS... SPARTAAAAAAAAAA!!!" shouted Stewie as techno music began playing in the background "T- T- T- T- T- T- T- T- T- T- AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH!!!!"
If you've seen a Sparta Remix on Youtube before, you should know what's happening right now. Yadda yadda. Stewie kicks the messenger into the hole which makes a whipping sound.
"Well, we should get going," said Maddie as she and Stewie slowly sneaked from out of the house.
"Yes, at last I'll be away from this idiot infested hell hole," said Stewie as he walked down the street.
"Yeah..." said Maddie as she took one last look at what used to be her home.
She and Stewie then walk off into the night. A tear slowly slips from her eye as she tries to force herself to forget about them... the ones that were once her family...