Three years

Author’s notes: A MomoxEiji fic. I am placing it under “T” rating, but I wonder if it should be “M”? O-O

Warnings: Progress on this fic should be slow.

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Three years ago, when Momoshiro was in Seigaku high school, he discovered Eiji’s secret by accident. He was passing by the park where Oishi and Eiji used to frequent one evening, and the chain loosened on his bike. Cursing silently, Momoshiro had gotten down from the bike and began to fix the chain when he heard familiar voices talking. It was Oishi and Eiji, who were in the same school. In fact, the ex-third year regulars from the Seigaku tennis team all graduated and went on to the same high school, and they remained a very closely knitted group. Momoshiro and Kaidoh followed their seniors’ footsteps after their graduation from junior high.

Momoshiro couldn’t see Oishi nor Eiji, for he was shielded by a large tree, but he could hear every single word in their conversation. He had wanted to step out and say hello, but he kept very still when he heard the tone in the pair’s voices.

“I’m sorry.” Oishi’s voice was low, but firm.

“No, it’s my fault. I’m sorry for the trouble caused. Just… forget this whole thing?” Eiji’s voice was almost shaking.

“I think we should see less of each other for a while.”

There was a short silence.

“I don’t mean that we can’t still be friends, but I think we just need some time to sort it out. Eiji, you do understand, don’t you?”

“Yes…” Eiji’s reply was almost inaudible.

“I have to go. Don’t stay too late, ok?”

Momoshiro heard Oishi climb down from the container and then, there was silence again. Quietly and taking extra care not to make any sudden movements, Momoshiro peeked out from the large tree’s trunk. The scene he saw was heart wrenching. Eiji was sitting with his head buried in his knees, shoulders trembling as he cried without a single sound. Momoshiro decided not to approach his senior. Instead, he turned and carried away his bike, with Eiji’s silhouette deeply imprinted in his mind.

Momoshiro recalled the days after he witnessed the incident. Eiji had gone back to school as though nothing happened. He still spoke with Oishi as usual, but only if it was absolutely necessary. It was towards the end of the year when that incident happened, so even if anyone noticed the change, they would probably attribute it to the exam stress. However, Momoshiro knew that Eiji was not alright. The smiles were lifeless, and the eyes were without sparkle. Momoshiro knew very well what had changed, for he noticed Eiji since the first day he met the redhead. He admired the endless energy and friendliness of his sempai, and they did hit off pretty well, so they hung out together more and more often. To Momoshiro, Eiji was someone worth knowing, and someone he liked very much as a friend. At least, at that point of time, Momoshiro thought that was how he felt.

Momoshiro made it a point to pass by the park everyday after that. However, he only watched his sempai from afar. And he saw what Eiji tried to hide from the rest. Sometimes, Eiji would spend hours just sitting on the container and staring into the sky. Sometimes, Eiji would take out a crystal star from his bag and hold it in his hands carefully before sighing and placing it back again. Momoshiro recognized that crystal star. Oishi had given it to Eiji as a birthday present, and Eiji used it as a handphone charm until their friendship unofficially ended.

For a year after Eiji’s graduation, Momoshiro still met up with him and Echizen for regular gatherings. They laughed and joked as usual, but Momoshiro still couldn’t find the sparkle in Eiji’s eyes. Eiji also didn’t talk that much, so Momoshiro filled up the gaps by playing the clown more often. One day, when Eiji was walking home with Momoshiro, the redhead suddenly asked a strange question.

“Momo, will you miss me if I can’t go out with you for burgers anymore?”

Momoshiro felt a chill run down his spine. He quickly turned to his sempai. “Eiji sempai, what do you mean?”

“Nothing in particular, just a question.” Eiji tried to laugh it off.

“Eiji sempai is very important to me and I don’t want you to ask strange questions like that!” Momoshiro had almost shouted in response.

Taken aback by the reply, Eiji muttered a sorry and tried hard to smile again.

“If Eiji sempai ever needs someone to talk to, look for me, ok? Promise me, don’t just give up or do strange things. Look for me.” Momoshiro grabbed the redhead by the arms and looked earnestly into his eyes.

“Thank you, Momo,” Eiji squeezed Momoshiro’s arm in gratitude.

However, Eiji didn’t keep his promise. Momoshiro didn’t hear from Eiji anymore after that day, and repeated attempts to contact the boy were futile. No one knew what happened, and the only news that was known to them was that Eiji decided to transfer to another college and left without contacting anyone. Eiji’s family didn’t give much details either, and they politely refused everyone’s request for Eiji’s contact address. Momoshiro thus lost contact with Eiji.

It was by sheer chance that Momoshiro saw Eiji. The train was very crowded and Momoshiro couldn’t squeeze into the almost bursting carriage. He frowned and looked impatiently at the board for the timing of the next train and caught sight of Eiji. Hardly believing his eyes, Momoshiro blinked and looked again. It was Eiji.

Wasting no time and fearing that Eiji would just disappear again, Momoshiro pushed his way through to the other end of the track, praying fervently that Eiji wouldn’t ignore him.

“Eiji sempai!”

“Momoshiro?” Eiji turned towards his junior and saw the spiky haired boy.

An uncomfortable silence followed. The train came at that moment, and Eiji looked set to board the train, muttering his goodbye and trying his best to pretend that it was nice meeting his junior again. But Momoshiro wasn’t going to let Eiji go that easily. He grabbed Eiji’s wrist and pulled him rather forcefully to the side and down the stairs.

“Let go of me! What do you think you are doing?” Eiji was angry and tried to shake off Momoshiro’s grip.

“That should be my line, Eiji sempai! Why did you just leave without a word? Did you know how worried we were? Everyone was worried sick!”

They finally found a quiet corner in the station and Momoshiro let go of Eiji’s wrist.

“It’s none of your business anyway. Why do you care?”

Momoshiro was furious at Eiji’s reply. “It is my business! We all care about you, don’t you know?”

“Well, then don’t care about me! Just forget that I ever existed, just like how much I want to forget Seigaku!”

Shocked at his sempai’s reply, Momoshiro could only look at Eiji and was speechless. Eiji simply looked away from his junior gaze.

“Why? I thought the Seigaku days meant a lot to you?” Momoshiro finally found his voice. “Fuji sempai, Tezuka buchou, Echizen, myself and everyone else, don’t they mean a thing to you?”

“Human relationships are very fragile, Momo. Just one wrong step and you lose everything. Everytime I look at someone from the tennis team, I just…” Eiji suddenly clamped up again. “Just leave me alone, ok?”

Their argument was earning themselves quite a few stares from the passer bys.

“Come with me! We’ll go somewhere else to talk.” Momoshiro pulled the redhead out of the station. Surprised by Momoshiro’s actions, Eiji could only try to protest but followed anyway.

They got into a taxi and remained silent till they reached their destination. Momoshiro then paid the hefty bill and dragged Eiji up the stairs. Eiji recognized it to be a school hostel.

“My room mate is out today, so we can talk through the night.” Momoshiro suddenly realized that he had impulsively brought Eiji to his room, and was afraid that Eiji might misunderstand. Momoshiro didn’t have time to think while they were at the train station, and he just needed to bring Eiji somewhere quiet so that they could talk. He couldn’t bear the thought of Eiji torturing himself and thinking that the world was against him. He had to talk some sense into his sempai.

Eiji looked around the room. It was… messy. Clothes were thrown all over the bed and the table was filled with books and magazines. There was a heap of tidbits and cup noodles at the other end of the room. A typical Momoshiro room, thought Eiji.

“Erm, have a seat?” Momoshiro moved some clothes from one of the chairs to another. He then sat on the bed, waiting for Eiji to make himself comfortable.

“So, what do you want to talk about? I thought I made myself quite clear in the station.” Eiji sounded tired.

“Eiji sempai, you can’t just run away from us or from yourself. What are you going to do? Hide from everyone, and refuse to make new friends or start new relationships? It’s has already been three years, Eiji sempai! You need to stand up again.”

Eiji sat up, and his eyes narrowed. “What three years?”

Momoshiro looked back at Eiji’s stare. “It’s Oishi sempai, isn’t it? He hurt you three years ago, didn’t he?”

“How…how did you know?” Eiji’s voice started trembling.

“I saw you two in the park by accident.”

Eiji felt his body freeze. So someone knew? Instinctively, he stood up and tried to get to the door, but was stopped by his junior.

“Momo, step aside. I can’t face you.”

“Why not? It’s human to love, and it’s not the end of the world when you are not loved back. Get a hold on yourself, Eiji sempai!”

Eiji swung around and looked Momo in the eyes. “We shared a deep bond, Momo, but in the end, he just left me when I told him how I felt. I lost his friendship too, just because I was honest with my feelings. My honesty only brought me the pain of seeing what reality is. If someone I had shared all the good and bad things with for so many years can just erase me from his life, who else can I trust to accept me for who I am? Friendship doesn’t exist for people like me. No one can accept this type of relationships, Momo. I am better off being alone. Just pretend you never knew someone like me, it’s better for you.”

“What are you talking about?! This isn’t the Eiji sempai I know! Why are you wallowing in self pity? You are attractive and you will find someone who loves you. And we all do love you for who you are. Not everyone is like Oishi sempai. I… I accept you for who you are.”

Eiji looked defiantly at Momoshiro. “It’s easy for you to say. What will you say if I do this to you?”

To Momoshiro’s greatest shock, Eiji leaned forward and pressed his lips on the Momoshiro’s slightly chapped ones.

“What are you doing, Sempai!” Momoshiro pushed Eiji away as a reaction to the shock.

“See? You feel disgusted, don’t you? So just let me go and be alone, so you don’t have to be friends with a freak like me, and you don’t have to worry about trying to find a reason to reject me or avoid me if I get emotionally attached to you one day.”

Momoshiro tried to understand Eiji’s speech as he watched Eiji picked up his bag from the floor. He didn’t understand Eiji’s reasoning at all, but he did know that if he allowed Eiji to leave, he would probably never see the redhead again. That thought alone was enough to give Momoshiro the courage to do what he was about to do next.

Eiji never saw it coming. The sudden embrace from Momoshiro almost took his breath away. As Eiji was pushed against the wall, Eiji tried to stop Momoshiro. But the moment he opened his mouth, Momoshiro silenced him with his own lips.

The feeling of his sempai’s body against his own and the softness of Eiji’s lips shocked Momoshiro; he never knew he could feel this way with another boy and he wanted more. Pushing himself further into Eiji’s mouth, he savoured every bit of the new territory he found. It was pure bliss, the sweetness of the kiss. Momoshiro found his mind being engulfed by the additive sensation and unable to think anymore.

Eiji was similarly unable to think logically. The increasing passion that Momoshiro demonstrated was enough to make him throw caution to the wind. If it was only happiness that lasted one night, Eiji was happy to own it for that night.

The pair somehow tumbled onto bed, hands caressing each other and trying to strip off their restrictions as quickly as they could. The heat and tension was unbearable. Eiji’s face was flushed, and his breathing ragged as he watched his junior bend down and laying a trail of kisses on his body. The tingling sensation that followed Momoshiro’s lips was quickly replaced by a sense of anticipation. A sharp pain jolted through Eiji’s body, and it was quickly forgotten as he fused with the moving Momoshiro, his hands alternating between grabbing the sheets beneath him and holding Momoshiro’s back tightly. Eiji bit his lips hard to stop himself from making any sounds as his mind went blank and his body went out of control. When he felt himself finally loosening up, he found Momoshiro lying beside him, exhausted.

Eiji wanted to laugh at himself when he fully grasped the situation he was in. He felt ridiculous and irresponsible for getting involved with his junior. Now what was he supposed to do?

It was a bad mistake. A very bad mistake.