Three years ago 7

Warnings: Angst, as usual. Maybe some strangeness in the end

Eiji put a hand against his eyes when the first rays of the morning sun shone through his window and landed on his face. Taking a deep breath, Eiji turned to his side and slowly opened his eyes. He felt refreshed, unlike most mornings recently where only dull throbbing in his head greeted him. It was a good and restful sleep, since he had already released some burdens by the night before.

Sitting up and stretching his body, Eiji yawned and looked out of the window. He wondered if Momoshiro was awake yet. Then he heard some clanking sound coming from the kitchen. Eiji quickly jumped up to catch his junior. They needed to spend some time together today.

Momoshiro was surprised when Eiji suddenly popped up at the kitchen entrance, looking a little flustered.

“Good morning?” blinked the spiky haired boy as he awkwardly held a saucepan in his right hand and a spatula on his left.

“Morning!” Eiji blinked as well when he saw the strange looking pool of bubbly liquid in the saucepan.

“Trying to make us some breakfast,” Momoshiro answered, a little embarrassed at the mess he was causing.

“Good luck!” Eiji couldn’t find another word to express his encouragement, though he certainly wasn’t looking forward to eating that mess. “And…”

“Hm?” Momoshiro placed the saucepan on the stove and waited for Eiji to continue.

“Nothing, let’s go out later today, shall we?”

That question immediately caused an awkward silence between the two of them.

“Sure. I was intending to spend today with you too.” Momoshiro tried to smile naturally, but it was hard.

“Great. I’ll…. I’ll go wash up first.” Eiji could feel the tension between them. As he turned to leave, Momoshiro called out again.

“Wait, senpai!”

Senpai? Eiji felt his heart clench a little. Momo had been calling him Eiji recently and dropped the senpai word. But now…

“How’s your headache? Fuji senpai told me about it yesterday.”

“It’s much better. Thanks for asking.” Eiji beamed at his junior to reassure him, as well as to hide the sense of foreboding he felt within.

Breakfast was basically a disaster. Eiji tried to eat as much as he could, but it was difficult when he couldn’t even tell what he was eating. Even Momoshiro gave up and suggested that they go out for a proper meal.

They picked up some sandwiches and proceeded to a nearby park to sit down. Momoshiro was chattering on about how he would improve his cooking next time, and Eiji was nodding and giving encouraging comments throughout. Silence prevailed, however, the minute Momoshiro stopped talking.

Eiji decided to fill him in with his meeting with Oishi.

“I met Oishi yesterday.”

“Eh?! What did he do to you?!” Momoshiro nearly spat out his sandwich while talking.

“Nothing,” Eiji chuckled at Momoshiro’s reaction. “Fuji arranged for us to meet, as Oishi wanted to explain his actions.”

“Explain?” Momoshiro swallowed the rest of his sandwich and turned to the redhead in full attention.

Wrapping up the paper and crushing it into a ball, Eiji placed the paper ball on his lap and continued. “He didn’t mean to shun me. I guess he just wanted to make sure that I don’t get the wrong idea, which I think I most probably would, if he remained as close to me as he was previously. It was all a misunderstanding.”

“So, you two …”

“We’re friends again. I never treated him otherwise, actually. He is all along someone very important to me. That’s why I felt so hurt.”

Momoshiro felt a little down when he saw the small smile on Eiji’s face. It was strange. He knew he should be happy that Eiji finally got out of his rut, but yet, he felt sad that he wasn’t the one to pull him out. Perhaps he had overestimated his own ability. But he was happy for Eiji. Putting on his brightest smile, Momoshiro spoke. “Isn’t that great? You finally got the misunderstanding cleared up.”

Eiji smiled back. “I have Fuji to thank for this.” He paused and then looked Momoshiro in the eye. “And you. Thank you, Momo.”

“Me?”

“You were the one who made me stay and stopped me from running away.” The soft brown eyes turned a little cloudy at this point. “If it wasn’t for you, I would have been still wallowing in self pity and depression, unable to face anyone or the world. You were my pillar of support.”

Taken aback by his senior’s speech, Momoshiro was momentarily speechless.

“I did nothing, senpai. I caused you more pain in the end, didn’t I?”

Eiji tried to protest immediately, but Momoshiro stopped him.

“I thought that by showing you how much I cared, you would be able to regain confidence in relationships and friendships. But I didn’t realize that by pushing you into something you weren’t ready for, it would cause you more stress. To be honest, I wavered when I experienced the ridicule that you warned me about. You were right to doubt me.” Momoshiro lowered his head as he spoke.

“I’m sorry for doubting you all this time. I just…”

“But now I am clear about what I want. The obstacles made me understand what I am doing and which path I want to take. Eiji senpai, I do care about you, and I am ready to continue with this path, fully aware of the difficulties and craziness that the world will throw at us. But I need to know…” Momoshiro paused as he tried to phrase the words better. “I need to know if you love me, and if you are ready to be with me.”

The honesty that Momoshiro displayed touched Eiji deeply. He was grateful for everything that Momoshiro had done so far. Perhaps they did think alike, in some ways. Eiji had wanted to be honest with his junior about his feelings as well, and he felt silly to have been worrying so much. He should have talked to Momoshiro directly a long time ago instead of hiding his doubts about himself.

“I wasn’t sure what I was doing when I decided to be with you, Momo. That’s why I was so afraid. I thought I was afraid that you would leave me when you realize how difficult the relationship would be. But in actual fact, I didn’t know how I really felt about you and that I would only hurt you in the end.”

Momoshiro felt his heart bleed at the revelation. Though he had suspected this, but it still hurt when he heard this from Eiji.

“Are we… ending…. us?” his voice was low, for if he spoke any louder than this, he wouldn’t be able to hide the tears in his voice.

“I like you very much, Momo. But I am in pieces right now and I need time to sort myself out. I lost myself when I tried to run away from everything. It’s not fair for you to be with such a broken person. Let me build myself up again and return to the old Kikumaru Eiji. Of course, if you find someone else during this time…” Eiji trailed off towards the end. He shouldn’t be selfish, and he knew that he shouldn’t keep Momoshiro waiting. Yet, he almost couldn’t get that last sentence out.

Seeing Eiji turn away and lowering his eyes to stare at the ground, Momoshiro couldn’t stop himself from pulling Eiji into a tight and emotional embrace. Eiji wrapped his arms around his junior’s back as he buried his face into the strong shoulders.

“I’m so sorry, Momo…” as all he could manage without letting his voice break.

“Just… be well.” Momoshiro couldn’t say that he would wait, as he didn’t want to give Eiji anymore pressure. All he could do now was to hope and wait.

“Morning senpai..oof!” Echizen couldn’t even finish his greeting properly when Eiji decided to smack him on his back. (Eiji couldn’t glomp him now, as they were dignified adults)

“You are late! How can you be late when you stay, like just 5 mins from here!” Eiji pretended to look cross while Fuji looked on with amusement.

“The traffic light was out of sync… oof!” Echizen could have sworn that he would suffer internal injuries thanks to his unfeeling seniors.

“Rubbish! You could have woke up 10 minutes earlier, you lazy thing.” This time, Momoshiro was the one doing the attacking.

“Are you ok, Echizen?” Oishi looked rather concerned when the youngest of them all coughed a little after the strong smack from Momoshiro.

“Of course he is ok. He’s our ochibi prince and can survive a few of his senpai’s friendly pat on the back, ne?” Eiji hugged the poor boy and shook him hard. Echizen knew that it was on purpose, a punishment for being late all the time.

“Let’s go, we are running late for Tezuka’s match,” Oishi looked at his watch and shooed everyone towards the sports centre.

Eiji decided to walk a little slower and watch the rest of his friends from the back. It was like the old days again. Everyone didn’t change that much. Oishi was still a mother hen, Fuji was still a quiet conspirer, Momoshiro was still as explosive and Echizen was still sloppy with time. And the bonds between them didn’t break with the passage of time.

When Momoshiro noticed Eiji falling behind, he slowed down his speed to match Eiji’s. Fuji noticed the action, but said nothing except to distract everyone and make them walk even faster.

“Thinking about something?” Momoshiro asked gently as Eiji greeted him with a smile.

“Musing about the past. I’m getting old.” Eiji pretended to sigh and yelped in surprise when Momoshiro pinched his nose in jest.

“You are not old. I’m only 1 year younger, and I refuse to be called old.”

‘Where did you learn this from?” Eiji pouted and wrinkled his nose to get it back in shape.

“I modified your flick-on-the-forehead move.” Momoshiro reached out for Eiji’s nose again, this time only gently touching it. “Did it hurt that much?”

“You forgot how much strength you have, idiot!” Eiji laughed as he chided his junior.

“Then I shall apologise.” Tilting his head and quickly planting a kiss on Eiji’s nose, and then cheekily pecked his lips as well.

Eiji pursed his lips and pretended to frown upon the childish behaviour, but he couldn’t help smiling just a few seconds later. A hand slipped into his and gave a squeeze before letting go.

“I love you, Eiji.” Momoshiro’s voice was soft.

“Love you too.” Eiji glanced at his junior and smiled gently. He had taken some time to sort his thoughts out. They started as friends again and slowly, Eiji fell in love once more, this time, clearly knowing what he wanted and determined to work things out with the one he loved.

Momoshiro had waited, simply because he loved Eiji. He never wavered in his decision this time, despite the negative words or suggestions that were thrown his way. The teasing and taunting died down after a while, and Momoshiro learnt that those who were his friends would never forsake him. Those who laughed at him were simply not worth getting angry over. He took the experience as a filtering process, where he saw who were good friends, and who were not. Sometimes it took a crisis to make one open one's eyes to the world. Though it was a rough ride, he was glad that he survived it, and emerged stronger and more aware of the precious things and people around him.

Echizen turned around at this time and called out to his seniors. “What are you two doing at the back?”

Oishi blushed and tried to stop Echizen from interrupting. “Be considerate, Echizen!”

Fuji chuckled as the red faced Momoshiro hurried to strangle Echizen again. Turning to Eiji who had just walked to his side, the tensai commented. “Great to see that you both are now comfortable with public displays of affection.”

It was Eiji’s turn to go red. “You saw?!”

Fuji smiled and did not reply. It was great to see the cheerful Eiji back. The smiles that his friend radiated warmed Fuji’s heart and gave him some comfort. Love was about seeing someone happy. Momoshiro let go of Eiji to see him happy. Eiji tried to heal himself so that he would not cause any more heartache to Momoshiro. And so, Fuji would hide his secret and let it lie quietly within. Eiji never saw him as anything more than a friend, so that would be how it would remain. Eiji was happy, and it was all that matters.

Eiji tugged at his arm to bring Fuji back to reality. "Don't float off to dreamland, Fuji!"

"Just thinking about you and Momoshiro. I'm glad that everything turned out fine." Smiling his usual smile, Fuji betrayed none of his feelings.

"Have I already thanked you for everything you have done? I wouldn't have made it without you." The redhead placed both hands on Fuji's and looked intently at his friend.

"You have thanked me dozens of times." chuckled the tensai, as he tried to hide the jolt he felt at the contact.

"I love you, my dear friend!" Eiji beamed and unlatched himself to join Momoshiro when he saw Echizen launching a counter attack.

"Ah, I love you too, Eiji. Be happy, always." Fuji's blue eyes never left the redhead as he uttered the soft well wishing under his breath. A few seconds later, he too, joined in the small commotion, much to Oishi's distress.

Some things don't change, no matter what happens.

The end

Author’s notes: Not sure if the last part of the fic sounded sudden. I wanted to add this drop some more obvious hints in the last chapter but decided against it. Was it surprising?

Anyway, hope that you have enjoyed the story :)