Weird shit inspires me. I dunno. But I'm so pumped for this story, I have it all planned in my head and everything and OMG I can't wait to write it all yayy. Hope you all like it!

“they tried to make me go to rehab, i said no, no, no!”

--

It may have been because he was fucked up crazy, or because it was pouring down rain, or because it was colder than ice outside; maybe it was a combination of all three. Sasuke would never know, and truthfully he didn’t really care just what the driving factor was that had compelled him to enter that building and walk down those steps.

It may very well have been the biggest decision in his life. What a rip-off. He hadn’t even known.

--

He’d been walking all night aimlessly, lost as little kid in a huge supermarket. He hadn’t cared. Home was just as cold and bleak as the outdoors, and it was also no sort of safe haven. There was no time out corner, no sacred space, no base to life’s tag that would provide Sasuke any sort of temporary relief from the insanity anymore. There had been, once; places he would go or things he would do or… people that he knew, things that could make him win the battle, if only for a little while. But he had nowhere to go anymore, nothing to do, and no friends to speak of, and in the emptiness that was yearning to be filled had crept the terror, that thing, that monster from his subconscious that he’d absorbed somewhere along the way. It clawed at the insides of its bodily cage, scraping raw Sasuke’s resolve. It was trying to overpower him and take control, and it was winning.

Sasuke didn’t know if he was more scared of the monster, or more scared of the fact that he was so willing to succumb.

He didn’t dwell on it much.

But like it or not, he was still human, and still victim to freezing temperatures and the damp. Home was blocks away, for sure, if he could even figure out which way to go. He would be walking outside for hours since he couldn’t call her for a ride tonight, and that didn’t look very appealing. Sighing, Sasuke stopped in his tracks and looked up at the sky. It was a dark gray color, shrouded in clouds, swirling with storm. There were no stars, which wasn’t surprising for a city, but here in the blackest part of urban life, where there were no neon signs or night clubs, no theaters or restaurants, just slum, Sasuke thought he might have seen something; but then again, with all the smog and haze and pollution that was pumped into the clouds each day, it was probably still very unlikely.

He’d started walking again, utterly exhausted. At the end of the block he turned and looked around morosely, searching for an alleyway or a bench on which to rest and even spend the night. There was nothing around, but therewas a small church a little ways down that he’d passed earlier. There was a light on in what Sasuke supposed was the foyer, so the doors were probably unlocked, and who would ever kick somebody out of a church, anyway? Sanctuary, he thought wryly, and made his way to the doors. Once inside, he let the warmth enter his body like a drug and simply leaned against the wall in relief, taking note of his surroundings. The entrance looked like the entrance of a simple bi-level house; there was a very, very small rectangle of space with a single bare light bulb screwed into the ceiling. On the right, a short set of steep stairs led down to a door on the right, and to the left, equally steep stairs led up in a spiral to darkness unseen.

There was no doubt that he was going up the stairs on the left once he finally recovered enough heat in his limbs to move again. Nobody would be up there, and with luck, nobody would ever know he’d even been there; he could set his cell phone to wake him up very early, before any sort of mass or prayer service or what-have-you started, and then leave before his presence was sensed. It was perfect. As he breathed deeply, giving himself a few more minutes before putting his plan into action, he allowed himself to peruse the flyers on the wall opposite his, the one parallel to the other set of stairs. There was a bright pink one advertising a Friday fish fry, a plain white one announcing the death of a long-time churchgoer, a pale blue one asking for donations to help support the annual mission trip to Mexico, another white one asking for babysitters to help out three days a week, and finally an orange one advertising a support group in the church basement. Sasuke wrinkled his nose when he saw the title: Grieving For The Loss Of Your Hopes And Dreams. What a load of crap, he thought; that was just an excuse for people to bitch about their problems and whine about their stupid lives. Nobody lived their dreams, nobody ever did, anyone who claimed they had was just lying through their fuckingteeth. Sasuke had lost his dreams, he knew; his entire life had been wrecked because of those damn dreams of his. He should have known better than to even dream them up in the first place.

His eyebrow raised a touch when he noticed the date and time of the meetings: Thursdays at 8:00. Tonight was Thursday, wasn’t it? Sasuke furrowed his brows and whipped out his phone; sure enough, it was Thursday, and not only that, it was Thursday at 7:53 PM. Sasuke felt a pang of something course through his body, rivaling the heat for space in his veins; he knew as soon as he felt it that he was going to walk down the stupid stairs and go into the stupid room, though he didn’t know why. Deep down, he knew that hearing about other people who had failed always served to comfort him, but that was hypocritical; just seconds ago he’d thought of all those people as a bunch of whiners. It was a stupid thought; nobody would ever know the pain he did, could ever fathom just how much he’d been through. He wouldn’t feel comforted by their stories, only enraged.

But then… it’s not like he had anything better to do. He wasn’t quite tired enough to fall asleep yet, so going upstairs would only serve to have him lay on a hard church floor for three hours, bored out of his mind. He hesitated. Did he really want to chance walking downstairs? The worst thing that could happen was… but no, it never happened in public. The worst thing that could happen would be that he could get pissed off and walk out. No big deal. He would never see any of those people again anyway, so it didn’t matter. It might even be entertaining, in a way. Pushing himself off the wall, Sasuke took a deep breath and descended the stairs, opened the door, and walked into the basement.

--

The room was big and sparsely decorated, the walls bare and marked with scratches and splotches of dirt. There was a small circle of chairs in the middle of the room, which was lit just like the small foyer upstairs by bare light bulbs in the ceiling. The lighting gave the room a warm, cozy glow, and Sasuke found himself feeling quite comfortable and content as he walked to the circle of chairs, occupied by all sorts of chattering people. He felt a small bit of awkwardness form in his stomach; he’d never been good with people. But before he could debate whether or not to leave, a voice stopped him.

“… Sasuke? Sasuke? Is that you? Oh my gosh, it is! Grab a chair! Sit next to me! I can’t believe this!”

“… shit,” Sasuke cursed. “Shit.”

The owner of the voice bounced over to Sasuke’s side, grabbed his left arm, and peered into his eyes with adoration. Sasuke felt like he was having a hernia. “Umm...” he muttered, unable to think of anything to say. What did one say in scenarios such as this?

“I can’t believe you of all people would show up here,” the voice said.

“… back off,” ordered Sasuke, shaking his arm free and shooing the culprit away as he grabbed a chair.

“Everyone, this is Sasuke,” stated the voice proudly, before turning into a whisper. “Isn’t he fucking gorgeous?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“You are such a slut,” a new voice drawled lazily.

“Shut the hell up, Shi – ka – ma – ru,” the original voice snapped back in a huff.

“Oh, Karin, stop fucking denying it,” yet a third voice said in a hearty guffaw. “You’re a porn star for Christ’s sakes.”

Sasuke’s eyebrows shot up. Oh?

He glanced over at his object of irritation, who was currently beet red and about to lunge at her attacker. Who would have ever thought she was a porn star on the side and a regular at a stupid support group?

At least it explained why she never was able to give him rides home from his city walks on Thursday nights.

“Don’t mock porn stars,” a cheerful voice said amongst the chaos. Sasuke turned his head to see another guy sitting next to him, a sketchpad in his lap. “We work harder than you think.”

“Umm…” said Sasuke eloquently.

“Exactly!” Karin crowed.

“Hi everybody!” a new voice exclaimed.

Sasuke heard the door behind him slam shut and footsteps begin walking toward the circle. Right across from his seat on the other side of the circle he noticed a podium for the first time, and then was reminded that all support groups had leaders. The group had become oddly quiet as well, so Sasuke figured that the meeting was about to start. The footsteps made their way from behind Sasuke to his left and then a body was in front of the podium, going through some papers on its surface and then looking up smiling at the group and—

SHIT. FUCK. SHIT SHIT SHIT. FUCK. OH FUCK.

Sasuke’s entire thought process shut down like a dying piece of machinery. He clutched the arms of his chair tightly and dipped his head down, trying to think of an out. Blindly, he reached for the hood of his jacket and pulled it over his head, hoping it would buy him some time. It was unbelievable. Of all the things. Of all the things that could happen, of all…

“I see we have a new member here tonight!”

Sasuke’s face was hot, his stomach was in his throat, this was unreal, it was not happening, it was not…

“I guess that means we’ll be doing introductions again this time,” continued the leader. Sasuke bit his lip, hard, head still covered by his hood and running a million and one escape plans through his mind.

“I’ll start,” said the leader, but Sasuke only heard a funny little whine, only heard that voice saying everything else but that, saying all sorts of things,

(you are never leaving i’m taking you back for sure you can’t fucking stand there like that how dare you i’m just as good you’re my best friend don’t leave fuck you please i won’t let you wasn’t that fun you know you’re my best friend)

and then it said something else, and Sasuke’s heart just about stopped. His entire body was drenched in sweat and he needed to get out of here unnoticed, he needed to—

“My name is Uzumaki Naruto, and I’m never giving up on my dreams!”

And just like that, Sasuke knew it was over.