AN: Again I am so sorry for not updating before but I have been through hell in the last year and now I think it really is time to return to FanFiction. Enjoy Chapter 3!

Mrs. Martinez walked into the house and came face to face with the flock, Instead of the usual hellos and hugs she received upon her homecoming, she was greeted with shock silence. Her brown eyes passed over Max, whose eyes mirrored Mrs. Martinez's, although Max's were unfocused from her recent high. The doctor then looked to Fang, whose headphones were still around his neck and had a cactus in his hand; to Gazzy whose round innocent eyes were even rounder with surprise and had a guilty look in them; to Iggy and Ella who looked bedraggled and dazed; to Nudge who had passed out on the couch again and finally Mrs. Martinez's gaze landed on Angel who had a frying pan in her hand.

Thunk! The frying pan thudded against Mrs. Martinez's forehead as she fell to the floor.

"Holy shit, holy shit!" Ella squealed. "You just knocked out my mom!"

"I think Jed might want to knock her up," Fang smirked

"Ewwww!" The older kids ewed in unison while Gazzy and Angel looked confused.

"Max, what does it mean to 'knock up'" Angel asked. Max hesitated, not quite sure if she should really explain sex to Angel. As all the images associated with sex went through her mind, Angel read everything and shrieked.

"AHHH! Oh my god I'm scarred for life!" she ran up to her room. Before she slammed her door shut she screamed: "If I never have sex it's all your fault Iggy!"

"What the hell?" Iggy shouted. "Why the heck am I always blamed for everything!"

"Because everyone is jealous of your very, hmm hmm, well endowed equipment," Ella giggled as she touched Iggy between the legs and squeezed it. Iggy was immediately turned on and started making out with Ella while she gave him a hand job.

"What the douche!" Fang yelled. "Go do this crap somewhere else!" the dark haired youth threw the cactus in his hands at Iggy and Ella. With that Iggy picked up Ella bridal style and carried her into his bedroom for round two. Now Fang, Max and Gazzy were left with Nudge passed out on the couch, Dr. Martinez knocked out cold on the ground and a burnt, smoking backyard. Max and Fang exchanged glances.

"So err, what should we take care of first?" Max emerged as the leader through her crack induced haze. Fang ran over to his cactus, picked it up and started cuddling with it.

"Max, I think I should first stop throwing this little guy around. I kind of like him."

Max sighed and tugged in Fang's black feathers. "No smart one, I meant about all this chaos!"

"THIS IS SPARTA!" Gazzy yelled.

"NO THIS IS CHAOS!" Max yelled back. "Go sit in the time out corner!"

Fang sighed as he carefully placed the cactus on the table and suggested: "Well I guess we move your mom so if the cops come by they don't think we killed her."

At the Police Station:

Ring Ring! The telephone rang again and again until an officer rushed to the phone. He was out of breath and was trying to zip his pants up and tuck in his shirt.

"Hello, Officer Campfield, how can I pleasure you, I mean, help you today?" he answered, as a cleaning maid walked in and smirked.

"Oh an explosion, really? Hmm how interesting, yes, I'll take care of it, oh yes, oh yes, god yes," the last bit was a moan as the maid starting pleasuring the officer. Officer Camp field brushed his blonde hair out of his blue eyes as the maid said "Shall we continue what we started before, Officer?"

"Oh yes, Sabrina, you are the only one-"

"Sabrina? My name is Chelsey!"

"Of course that's what I said," Officer Campfield hurriedly said. "Now let's get back to business." he giggled.

Back at the Martinez House:

Indeed by Dr. Martinez's position on the floor, any passerby might assume she was dead, and the small trickle of blood from her forehead did nothing to contradict that assumption. While Max grabbed the doctor's head, Fang grabbed her feet and they hoisted her up the stairs. Mrs. Martinez gave out a small groan as they plopped her on her bed. Max and Fang stood there for a bit to see if she would wake up but Mrs. Martinez stayed asleep. They tiptoed out into the hallway and closed the door only to hear some giggling and banging noises coming from Iggy's room. Fang looked over at Max with a suggestive grin on his face and Max giggled.

"They sound like they're having fun," Fang said in a husky voice.

"Yeah I guess they do," Max replied in whisper. Fang looked into her eyes and leaned closer til Max could feel his soft warm breath on her face. He then brought his arms around her waist and felt Max's soft feathers on his skin.

"I want you, Max, I really do," Fang whispered. "But I want to know if you want me too."

Max lowered her eyes and replied in a soft tone "Yes, Fang I want you too." She looked back into Fang's warm, dark brown eyes and reached up to kiss him. Fang brought his lips closer to Max's and they both closed their eyes as a sliver of air was the only thing that separated their lips.

Then the doorbell rang. Fang and Max jumped back as Iggy sprinted butt naked from his room.

"That's her, that's her! Don't worry I've got the door!" Iggy ran down the stairs to the door. Max and Fang heard Gazzy scream downstairs "My eyes, my eyes!" and the seductive giggling coming from the person whoever rang the doorbell as she walked in. Iggy led the mysterious person up the stairs (Gazzy could still be heard screaming "Oh my god Iggy my eyes, how could you do this to my eyes!"). The mysterious person turned out to be a stripper.

"Hey guys!" Iggy turned to Fang and Max as they stood in the hallway with their mouths wide open and huge eyes in surprise.

"This is Sherondoleshea, and this is a err, friend of Ella's and mine." Their "friend" stripper was wearing fishnets, a tiny, plaid, schoolgirl skirt, leather knee high boots and a red leather top that only covered her chest, barely.

"Well, we're going to have some fun. We're going to skip dinner tonight!" Iggy winked and led a giggling Sherondoleshea into his bedroom and a few minutes later they heard the moaning and giggling of her, Ella and Iggy, accompanied by the banging of the bed against the wall. Max and Fang slowly recovered and shook their heads.

"Oh my god.."

"Mother of mercy…"

"Holy crap.."

"Uhh Fang,"

"Yeah Max,"

"How about we clean up the mess outside."

"Sounds like a plan"

As they made their way downstairs, Iggy once again emerged butt naked from his room, even more dazed then last time.

"Sorry guys, I forgot something." He felt his way through the fridge until he found the can of whip cream and bottle of hardening chocolate. He then stuck a banana into his butt and winked again at Max and Fang, both of whom had looks of disgust on their faces. Fang covered the cactus with his hand and yelled "What the cheezit Iggy! You're ruining my poor cactus' innocence!" Gazzy was covering his own eyes and rocking back and forth on the kitchen floor.

"Edible body art." Iggy chuckled and returned to his ladies upstairs.

Max and Fang both rushed out into the backyard and grabbed Gazzy along the way who was sobbing over the loss of his innocence and youth. All three surveyed the chaos that they had previously called their backyard, but now resembled something close to a war zone.

"OMG Gazzy what did you do to this yard!" Max screamed and starting choking the eight-year old little boy.

"Wahh, cut it out Max!" Gazzy cryed. "Fang! Stop her please!" The rest of Gazzy's pleads for help and mercy were lost on Fang as he put his headphones back on and turned up his death metal music. Just as Gazzy starting turning purple, the doorbell rang again. Max stopped choking the blonde boy and went inside with Fang behind her, head banging his way down the hall. Gazzy crawled his way into the house, still gasping for breath. Max opened the door to find two police officers standing on the doorstep.

"Hello miss, we received calls of complaint about some suspicious noises and an explosion coming from your house. We have a warrant to search your house."

AN: So not bad after taking a year and a half break from writing huh? This chapter had a lot of suggestive, explicit content yeah I had fun with it. I'll tone it down next chapter and come up with fun other stuff. Ah you gotta feel bad for Gazzy don't you? hehe Thank you to everyone who reviewed the previous chapters I never said thank you til now! Love you all! Yes its short. Short chapters=more updates from now on I promise! Pay attention to the cactus!