|What Everyone Deserves
Author: scoob2222 PM
Written for ships50. Prompt was Affection. JJ's slip of the tongue puts things in perspective for Morgan.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Angst - Words: 1,781 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 03-02-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4108917
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"What are you doing?" Derek asked as he watched JJ dial the same number for what seemed like the millionth time.
"I'm calling Lynch again."
"Damn it, JJ, that's none of your business. They broke up."
"It was a mistake. I know if I can just get them in the same room then…"
"Then what? They dated for almost six months and it went nowhere. Even after all that, Garcia said they had nothing more than a…sweet affection for each other."
"Sweet is good, so is affection."
"Affection is something you feel for a puppy. You aren't supposed to feel affection for your girl," off JJ's look he put his hands up, "Fine, affection isn't the only thing you should feel for your girl. Garcia deserves more than that."
"What if she doesn't get it? Kevin is a great guy. He's cute and sweet and he speaks her language. He could be a great guy for her if she'd give him a real shot."
"What if she doesn't want to do that? What right do you have to interfere?"
"I'm her best friend," JJ said, her voice rising slightly in anger, "and excuse me if I don't want her to end up alone because she's got her expectations too high." JJ's eyes widened as she finished her statement and Derek turned in his chair, following her gaze.
"Garcia," JJ started, "I didn't mean…"
"Its fine," Garcia answered, her voice level and calm even as her eyes darkened in agony, "You're right, I should call Kevin. Either that or, uh…buy a cat." Penelope turned and hurried off, nearly bumping into Reid as she went.
"Where's she going in such a hurry?" Reid asked as she settled down at his desk, "Do we have a case?"
Derek just shook his head as he watched JJ run off after Penelope.
"Please, you have to talk to her," JJ asked him, her voice more vulnerable than he'd ever heard it, "Its been three days and she won't talk to me."
"Can you blame her?" he asked, not completely over his own irritation with her.
JJ sighed, "Look, I know I screwed up, I just…I just wanted Garcia to have something good in her life. I didn't…I love her, you know, she's like a sister to me and I know what I said, well, it came out wrong Derek. It came from a good place, I promise you."
"So you want me to try to convince Garcia to talk to you?"
"No!" JJ said, throwing up her hands, "I don't even care if she stays mad, just…I hurt her and she needs someone and she won't let it be me so…" she trailed off pleadingly.
"Fine," he said, "I'll talk to her, make sure she's okay, but I'm not getting involved in your fight. That's your own deal."
JJ nodded and scurried away. Probably because she thought, he'd change his mind.
Damn woman. For months, he'd been trying to ignore the constant burn in his gut every time he saw Penelope with Kevin. He'd told himself that he was happy for her, which he was, in a way, but he was also jealous, angry, and annoyed that she was with that kid and not him.
He'd actually been relieved at their break-up, until he realized it meant there was nothing stopping him from talking to her, telling her how he felt. That's when the panic set in.
He was thirty-seven years old and he'd never had a serious relationship, never loved a woman he didn't call Ma or Sis, never committed to anything other than being the best at his job.
He wasn't sure he knew how to commit to a woman, and he knew with Penelope there could be no second-guessing. If he was going to tell her how he felt, he'd half to jump in with both feet.
Though he hated to admit it right now, he was far too chicken for that.
He forced himself to stand, chicken or not his girl needed him right now.
Penelope barely turned when she heard her door open. It was probably JJ again, come to say she was sorry again and that she didn't mean it. She meant it alright, she was jut sorry she got caught admitting that she thought her best friend couldn't do any better than lukewarm affection.
"Hey, baby girl," Derek said and Penelope turned slightly, nodding her head at him.
"Hi, what's up? Need something?"
"Just wanted to talk."
She sighed and turned away with a growl, "I don't want to talk about JJ. I don't want to talk to JJ so if that's why you…"
"I'm just worried about you Penelope. You've barely spoke to anyone the past few days. You're so down, I'm not used to going through the days without you smiling and calling my sweetness."
She smiled a little at that, "well, I won't be down for long, so you won't have to worry your fine self for much longer."
"What does that mean?"
"It means I called Kevin and we're going out tonight. JJ was right; I was being silly thinking that I'd find something better than what I have with Kevin. I mean he's smart, cute, and sweet, he loves his computer almost as much as I love mine. I'm lucky to have found him.
"Pen that's…you told me that you didn't feel that way about him."
She shrugged, trying not to cry, suddenly that's all she wanted to do, just weep, "Well, he likes me, thinks I'm nice and funny and, well, it may not be the most lust-filled relationship, but he doesn't find me hideous so…listen I've got some work to do so maybe we can talk later."
He nodded without realizing, "Sure, yeah I'll…" he pointed to the door and headed for it. Then he stopped, "No, I don't think we should talk later. I think we should talk now."
"Derek," she said, turning in her chair, "Please don't."
"I changed my mind, we shouldn't talk."
"Good then why don't you…" her words were stopped by his mouth over hers. He kissed her quickly, but the punch behind it made her feel fuzzy and weakened her knees.
When he pulled back, he was smiling and she smiled back for a moment…then realization set in.
"You can't…you can't do that," she said, "you don't mean it and…" again he kissed her, "Stop Derek, stop it, we have to…we can't…"
"We can, Pen, we really can." He kissed her softly again, his hands on her face as he knelt so he could comfortably look her in the eye, "I've wanted to for so long."
"But, but why haven't you…"
"I was scared, Penelope, I'm still scared."
"Of what? Not that I'd turn you down?" she asked, incredulously.
"No, I…I thought you felt the same way, I was almost sure. I was scared of what I was feeling. I'm not good at this, Pen, at the relationship thing. I didn't want to fuck up and hurt you."
"What changed?" she asked, leaning in to kiss his cheek, his jaw, his neck.
"As scared as I am, the thought of you going off to be with someone you don't love, someone who doesn't feel like he's in heaven every time he's with you. I just couldn't stand that, Penelope. Affection isn't enough for a beautiful and passionate woman like you. I love every second with you, I want more, I just want you all the time."
She smiled widely, "I just want you too." She leaned in to kiss him again, but he pulled away to grab her phone, "What? What's wrong?"
He smiled, "Nothing, as soon as you call Kevin and cancel…for good."
She dialed the number as he kissed her neck, "I'll call now…then we can be…affectionate."
He chuckled as he pulled her closer.
It took a week for her to get the nerve up to talk to JJ. She was ready to forgive her friend, but she feared having a conversation that might make things worse.
"Garcia," JJ said when she saw her at the door, "I didn't expect to see you here...this late, I mean."
"Derek's just finishing up a file and then we're going to dinner."
JJ smiled, "That's great. Have fun!"
Penelope smiled and edged into the office, "Listen, J, I'm…I'm sorry about the other day, I probably overreacted and…"
"No, that was my fault," JJ took a long, deep breath, "It's all my problem. I was…I was projecting all my fears on you."
"What do you mean?"
"It's just lately…I've just been tired, tired of doing this job that can be so horrible and then going home to nothing. And I saw you, my best friend, who had a chance to not be alone and…that's all I could think about."
"That's sweet," she said, smiling, "In a kind of crazy way. Are you…are you okay now?"
JJ nodded, "I'm okay if you're done being made at me. Are we friend again?"
"The best," Garcia said as she stood to hug her friend.
"Good," JJ said, "I love you."
"I love you too."
JJ pulled back, "go on, and get to dinner already. Tell Derek I said he better treat you right."
"He always does." Penelope turned to leave, and JJ returned to her papers, but stopped when Penelope spoke again, "You know JJ, you're not the only lonely one around here." Penelope gave a pointed glance down the stairs before leaving.
JJ stood and moved out of her office. She saw Derek helping Penelope with her coat. Penelope gave her a glance, and then glanced at the only other person there.
JJ took a deep breath and considered.
She slowly began walking down the stars towards Emily.
Surely, it couldn't hurt to ask if she wanted some dinner.