Javert isn't mine, unfortunately. He belongs to that wonderful Victor Hugo. The idea belongs to All That. This amusing little combination belongs to me. Enjoy.

VO: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars...

VO: Inspector Javert...loves him some fluffy pink bunnies.

Javert: Fluffy pink bunnies? Mere child's play! Do I look like a child to you?

VO: Inspector Javert...was captain of the swim team in high school.

Javert: No I wasn't! I can't swim at all! Do you mock me?

VO: Inspector Javert...is so obsessive he pursued an innocent man for twenty years.

Javert: 24601? He violated his parole! He needed to be brought to justice! He broke the law!

VO: Yup. He's obsessed.

Javert: I am not!

VO: Now you know...Inspector Javert.

Javert: No they don't! You know nothing of Javert!!!

The camera zooms out, leaving Javert alone in his fury. The audience applauds and the stage fades to black.