Hotel California

Disclaimer: thou must cleanse thyself in holy water before reading the following scummy, filthy, overall pathetic excuse for biblical satire.

Please to be noting: "he" refers to Satan; "He" refers to…the other guy.

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"Welcome, well, to my hotel,"

said Satan to his guest.

As slow he rose and struck a pose,

donning his Sunday best.

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Twin horns glowed red atop his head,

his body bore a cape

An impish grin, he showed some skin,

exposing his neck's nape.

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His guest then watched; hand moved to crotch,

began to cop a feel,

Before proceeding, humbly heeding,

His master bade Him kneel.

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Upon His knees, He aimed to please

His hot and hellish host

Ne'er before had He longed more

To be the servant to give most.

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Satan, smirking, took to jerking -

- off, his cloak he took

His guest just gazed, impressed and dazed,

lending a lustful look.

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He bade him bow, and then endow

his package with a prize

His steady hips touched luscious lips

mouth wide; He closed His eyes.

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Submitting to sin, He took it all in,

throat feeding every part

with pleasure strong; He savored long

its juices, sweet and tart.

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Then with his sigh, Hell gave a cry,

Igniting fiercest flame

With blazing speed, He wet the reed

until His master came.

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The inferno risen; he'd made his decision,

he needed more than this

Not a sound, he grabbed Him from the ground

against the wall, he stole a kiss.

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Their tongues, in mingling, took to tingling;

Satan's horns seared red

Unable to take it, he stripped his servant naked,

and slammed him upon the bed.

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Desperately needing; for penetration pleading,

the servant sprawled out wide

Turned on his back, He groped His sack

while Satan forced his way inside.

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Pounded into the sheet, He filled with a heat

as He'd never felt before

Once the master was done, he grabbed the Son

and thrust him upon the floor.

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Still they did not linger, for Satan took a finger,

Stretching his self wide as he may

At the force of his request, his servant did what he knew best,

And as He entered, He began to pray.

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Salvation on His side, He began to guide

His horny master to heavenly delight

The pleasure He provided by Heaven's laws abided;

proving the power of Divine Right.

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Riding faster, He paid service to His master,

almighty was each thrust

Such godly pleasures he'd never treasured

and he rejoiced in newfound lust.

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He let loose His load, then at last slowed,

pulling out from behind

Satan, now gratified, felt divinely satisfied;

He eased down as their bodies entwined.

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Turning face-to-face, they shared in an embrace,

Satan stroking His long hair

He proceeded to question his partner's thoughts on the session,

Wondering aloud his feelings on the affair.

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He sucked his lower lip; asked, "was this not a worthwhile trip?

Have the Southern regions treated you well?"

His mate replied, "I'd as soon as twice more died

than miss out on this journey to Hell."

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They lay a moment longer, 'til their rationale was stronger,

At last their quenched libidos let them part

Satan walked Him to the gate, then with fervor did state:

"You've left a piece of Heaven upon my heart."

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The departing guest then showed his breast,

Burned into it was a set of horns,

Stepping into the light, he bid him goodnight,

And affixed his crown of thorns.

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After His leaving, Satan, grieving,

sat, brooding for a spell

Then with a crooked smile, he contrived awhile,

Waiting for the next caller to his hotel.

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Stay tuned for the sequel: "THE SECOND COMING".

"COMING" soon!