Disclaimer: I don't own BLEACH.

Title: Of Video Cameras and Boy Love

Overall Summary: ShinjixIchigo. Hiyori has received the greatest—in her opinion—gift from Shinji for her birthday. Now she's going to use it to blackmail him... AUish, Yaoi, Attempted Pedo. R&R!

Author Notes: Another web page design class story! We were doing flash animation... and... and... I dunno what came over me. This is a Kurosaki Ichigo/Hirako Shinji story, people. Yaoi. Guy on guy. Male slash. There will be no Sarugaki Hiyori/Hirako Shinji pairing in this. Sorry!

Chapter I: The Gift! Hiyori's Plan!

She stared at the object, mouth agape, marveling at its beauty.

It was finally hers.

The metallic color of the outside of it caught the morning light that poured in from her open window, shining proudly in her eyes. It was compact, fitting perfectly in her hands. Nothing could compare.

She could only imagine the things she could do with it.

"Hello? Hiyori-san? I wasn' really sure wha' t' get ya, so I hope ya like it!" Hirako Shinji raised his voice, waving a hand in the girl's face worriedly when she didn't respond.

Sarugaki Hiyori finally looked up from her gift, staring directly at Shinji, her expression blank.

He tensed, preparing himself for a collision of his head and the gift brought on by the girl's anger and hatred. He decided that now was the perfect time to grovel. He threw his arms over his head defensively. "Please, Hiyori-san! Don' hit me wit' the video camera! I'm sorry tha' I didn' get the righ' thin' fer yer birthday! Jus' lemme take it an' get the money back!"

Hiyori inhaled sharply, glaring, holding the video camera to her chest protectively. "Wha' makes ya think I'm gonna let ya take this back? It's mine now!"

Shinji blinked, confused and wary. He knew from past experiences not to un-tense his body and drop his guard until Hiyori had left the room. "Say wha'?"

"I said I liked it, stupid. Now, leave me 'lone."

Shinji silently cheered himself on, backing towards the door. "O–Okay... Um... Enjoy!"

Once he had fled, Hiyori stroked the video camera lovingly. Ever since she had seen it in a flashy electronics store, she had wanted it desperately. To hold it. To stroke it. To... use it to gather blackmail against Shinji...

What made her frustrated was the fact that Shinji had done something right for once.

It wasn't right. Shinji was a bumbling idiot.

Hiyori decided to set up a plan for how her blackmail plan was going to play out. She wanted everything to be perfect when she exposed Shinji for the no-good, thieving, lying, cheating homosexual he was.

What? Did she stutter?

Yes, Shinji was a homosexual, and he was gay with Kurosaki Ichigo.

Hiyori was going to prove it. She was making it her life's goal.

However, she frequently had to remind herself that it wasn't because she wanted to see them in action. That she hasn't had a crush on Shinji since as far back as she could remember, and the thought of him and Ichigo together didn't set her body on fire, igniting a passion she didn't even know existed.

No way. That wasn't true.

So, don't even think that!

Hiyori dropped onto her floor and rested her back against her tiny bed. She absentmindedly blew a spider away that hung from her ceiling, tangling her hand through her hair.

Time to see just how much she really knew about the creepy, tall blond.

'What does Shinji do in the morning?'

From her stalking sessions that she chose to ignore and deny, she knew that Shinji always sorted his ties when he awoke in the early morning. Always.

After having sorted his ties, Shinji always took a long shower.

Hiyori felt a blush spread over her freckled cheeks at the thought. Absentmindedly, she snatched up an abandoned crayon and toyed with it.

After the shower, Shinji came out of the bathroom in nothing but his yellow-and-pink-polka-dotted-boxers. His blond hair would be messy, his skin tinted pink from the hot water, his eyes half-lidded, and a lazy, satisfied smile would stretched across his pointed, narrow features.

Hiyori slapped herself roughly and ground the crayon mercilessly into the floor, taking satisfaction at smudges of red adorning her dusty floor.

Shinji would then eat breakfast with the other vizard, staring blankly at the wall as he shoveled sugary cereal into his mouth.

She didn't know what happened after that because Shinji always left the warehouse when he finished eating.

She decided to follow Shinji later to discover what he did outside of the warehouse.

'Wha' 'bout afternoon?'

Obviously, Shinji went to school to try to recruit Kurosaki in the afternoon.

Hiyori was annoyed to find that she didn't know what he did in the afternoon after school. Hiyori growled when she remembered that Shinji didn't come home in the evening, either. And now that she thought about it, Shinji always did look strangely pleased when he came home.

He seemingly floated along on a cloud, humming merrily as he raided the refrigerator for a snack. He then mingled with the other vizard, catching up with what's new in the lives of his associates. Tired, Shinji would retire to his tiny room, shedding his clothes hurriedly. Crawling into his futon, Shinji would sleep until morning when the entire process would be repeated, his ties waiting to be resorted for the umpteenth time.

Hiyori sat up, blinking. She was somewhat proud of herself for the intense thinking she had been doing. However, the things she didn't know about the elusive vizard were still annoying her.

She curled her lips in disgust and heaved the crayon over her shoulder.

"Agh!"

Hiyori spun around, recognizing the pained voice.

Shinji rubbed his forehead awkwardly, eyes widening in horror at the red smeared on fingers. "Is this an oil crayon? Bleh!"

Hiyori rose to her feet, spinning on her heel to confront Shinji. "I didn' say ya could come in my room wit'ou' askin'."

"Sorry. I jus' wondered why ya hadn' come ou' yet."

"None o' yer business, stupid! Get ou'!"

Shinji winced, again fleeing the room.

Hiyori smirked, snatching up her video camera. "Let's see wha' Hirako does after he leaves." 'As if I don' already know tha' he finds Kurosaki an' molests 'im 'til he can't walk 'nemore.'