Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.

Title: Of Video Cameras and Boy Love

Summary: ShinjixIchigo. Hiyori has received the greatest—in her opinion—gift from Shinji for her birthday. Now she's going to use it to blackmail him... Yaoi, Attempted Pedo, AU.

Chapter VII: Hiyori's Blackmail

"ICHIGO!"

Ichigo cried out in surprise and smacked his head painfully against the wall behind his pillow at the scream that flew in through his window.

Shinji landed beside his bed, an expression of panic present on his face.

Ichigo eyed the vizard suspiciously. "What's wrong?"

"Ichigo, it's Hiyori! She has us on tape!"

"How?" Ichigo growled, leaping out of bed to tower over the cowering Shinji.

"I don't know how she did it!"

"How do you know she has us on tape, then?"

Shinji rubbed the back of his neck nervously at the icy undertone of his lover's voice. "Well... you see... she kind of... showed it to everyone at the warehouse this morning..."

Ichigo stood in stunned silence, mouth agape.

"I can't believe she would do something like that," Shinji mumbled dejectedly. "I had just walked in this morning for breakfast, and it was on the television. All my associates were watching it. It was from last night."

Ichigo sat on his bed and stared stonily at the floor.

"I don't know how she could have gotten it on tape. She didn't have her video camera out the entire time." Shinji groaned, pulling agitatedly at his blonde hair. "I can't believe this."

Finally, Ichigo looked up at Shinji. "We have to get the tape. Then we find out how she filmed us."

Shinji snorted. "Easier said than done."

Hiyori fingered the cassette tape, the most important factor of her entire blackmail operation. She smirked at her genius.

They had had no idea!

After absentmindedly watching Love, Rose, and Kensei vomit uncontrollably into buckets on their laps for a while—their immediate reaction to the tape currently held protectively in her arms—she came up with a plan to expose Shinji and Ichigo to all their friends. She was going to make invitations to a "get-together" where the movie will be shown.

Yes, it was perfect.

"Hiyori, mind emptying my bucket?" Love gurgled.

"Yes, I mind! Throw up in the sink or something!" Hiyori snapped.

Hiyori was in her room when Ichigo and Shinji arrived at the warehouse.

"Hiyori? Can we come in?" Shinji asked hesitantly, knocking lightly on her door.

"Whatever."

Shinji pushed the door open to reveal Hiyori drawing a crude picture of a rabbit being stabbed repeatedly with a obnoxiously large zanpakutou.

She glanced up and smiled coldly at the two teenagers. "Yes?"

Ichigo narrowed his eyes at her and pushed past Shinji. "Give us the tape."

"Hm, let me think." Hiyori sneered. "Nope!"

"What do you want for it? Money?"

"Money for this?" Hiyori inquired incredulously, waving the tape at them. "I don't think so. It's priceless."

"C'mon, Hiyori. There has to be something you will take in exchange for the tape. It's not even that great. Ichigo didn't look his best in it." Shinji received a punch to the shoulder for that comment.

"No, I'm gonna use it against you two."

"Well, then," Ichigo muttered, "at least tell us how you filmed it."

Hiyori grinned, always ready to gloat. "It was a genius idea. I returned the regular video camera that Hirako bought me, and with a few extra dollars, I bought a micro-camera."

Ichigo had to admit that he was impressed.

"All I did was film you two in action, take the micro-camera to a video-transfer station, and put it on a cassette tape. Easy."

Shinji frowned. "You returned my gift? That's harsh."

"What do you plan on doing with that tape?"

Hiyori glared. "I'm not telling you. You'll have to find out later."

Shinji dropped to his knees in front of Hiyori. "Please don't expose us. Just let us keep the tape, and you can watch it whenever you want. I'll do anything if you just give us the tape."

"I love seeing you beg me while on your knees." Hiyori commented. "Very entertaining."

Shinji continued to grovel. "Hiyori, don't do this."

Ichigo sighed, pulling Shinji to his feet by his collar. "Stop that. It's very degrading."

"Tell you what," Hiyori began. "If you come to the warehouse at six o'clock tonight, you'll get the tape back. I just need it for a little longer to watch."

Shinji bit his lip and turned his gaze to Ichigo.

"All right," Ichigo agreed, turning. "See you then."

"Bye." Hiyori waved, smiling cruelly.

"Orihime, are you in there?" Tatsuki called, pounding on Orihime's front door. She glanced down at the invitation in her grasp, re-reading the information scribed sloppily on the front.

Orihime opened the door slightly and peered out at Tatsuki. "Hello, Tatsuki! What brings you here?" She stepped back to allow her friend to enter.

Tatsuki waved the invitation in Orihime's face. "Did you get one?"

Orihime squinted at the writing before nodding eagerly. "Oh, yes, I got it this morning! Are you going? It sounds like fun!"

"I'm not sure if I want to go, but if you want me to, I will," Tatsuki promised, flopping down into a nearby chair.

"I want you to come, of course!" Orihime smiled brightly. However, when her eyes scanned the address on the paper, she frowned. "I don't know where this is. It's near the pier, I think. Have you ever been there before, Tatsuki?"

"Nah, I haven't. It shouldn't be that hard to find, though. I go down to the pier all the time."

"Great! What time is it?"

"About five-thirty. I think we should start over there now. It begins at six."

"Okay, just let me change my clothes!"

Uryuu pushed his glasses higher on his nose and furrowed his brow. He had been walking along the pier for ten minutes, and he couldn't seem to find the address of the place. He sighed and wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead.

It was hot out.

Sado spotted Uryuu in the distance and hurried towards him. "Hey, Uryuu."

Uryuu glanced over his shoulder at Sado and gave a wry smile. "Hello, Sado. Were you invited to the same thing?"

"Yeah. Have you found it yet?"

"Not yet. None of these houses," Uryuu gestured to a row of beach houses, "have the number that's on this invitation. Perhaps it was a joke of some kind?"

"I don't think so."

"Well, let's keep looking. Maybe with the both of us, we'll find it."

"Ryou, Chizuru, Mahana, wait!"

The three teen-aged girls turned around at the call, finding the owner to be Michiru.

The small girl stopped in front of them and fanned herself with one hand. "Were you invited, too?"

"Yeah, we were," Ryou affirmed, tapping the cover of her book agitatedly. "However, we seem to be having a problem. We can't find the house."

Michiru blinked. "Who said it was in a house?"

"What do you mean? Of course it would be in a house," Mahana said, frowning at a hot breeze that swept by.

"Oh, no, it's not. I passed an ancient, dirty warehouse back there, and it had the right number. I was just too afraid to go in by myself so I waited for someone else to come."

"Warehouse? I remember seeing that. Though, it's much too dirty for me to consider as a favorable option for a party location," Chizuru scoffed, waving a dismissive hand.

"Well, that's where the party is. Let's go see who's there!" Michiru smiled, turning to sprint the opposite direction.

Ryou and Mahana nodded to each other and quickly followed the eager girl.

Chizuru, feeling left out, shouted, "Hey, don't forget about me!" before following them.

Keigo and Mizuiro strolled along the pier, tossing small stones into the river.

"So, are you going to that party?" Mizuiro asked, wiping his hands on his pants.

"I dunno. I'm watching for anyone else. I don't want to go unless some chicks will be there," Keigo grinned, glancing over his shoulder at the warehouse.

"Oh, look! There's everyone," Mizuiro announced, pointing at the small group that had gathered in front of the warehouse.

"C'mon, let's go!" Keigo exclaimed, racing to join his friends.

"Oh! Keigo, Mizuiro! Hello!" Michiru greeted warmly. "You're here for the party, too? This is great!"

"Does anyone know who sent this?" Keigo inquired, furrowing his brow. "And why it's in a dirty warehouse that no one's ever noticed or heard of?"

Everyone either shrugged or shook their heads.

"Is Ichigo coming?" Orihime spoke up, looking vaguely worried.

"Hey, yeah! Where is Ichigo?" Mizuiro asked.

"He better not be with Hirako again," Keigo complained. "He spends more time with that guy than with us, I swear!"

"Leave Ichigo alone," Tatsuki commanded. "He can hang out with whoever he wants."

"So... are we going in now?" Uryuu interrupted, heading towards the building. "I'd rather not stand out in this heat all day while you people bicker."

"Love, why are all those strange people coming up here?" Mashiro whined, peeking out a dirty window at the odd group ascending the staircase to the door.

"Listen up!" Hiyori growled. "All those people are here to watch the tape! I want you guys to appear like normal people and keep out of the way!"

At the mention of the tape, Love, Rose, and Kensei slapped hands over their mouths, flushing a sickly green color.

"Why... on earth would they... want to see that?" Love gagged.

"They don't know what it is," Hiyori answered smugly. "I'm using the tape to ruin Hirako's life."

"Hiyori," Mashiro began hesitantly, "why don't you just admit that you like Shinji and be done with it? You don't have to be so mean to him."

Hiyori gaped at her, her eye twitching slightly. "I don't like Hirako!"

"Oh, please, Hiyori," Lisa said, glancing up from her erotic manga. "We all know you like him. Stop pretending like you don't. It's a phase that young girls like yourself go through all the time. They pick on the boy of their dreams relentlessly and act like it means nothing special."

"But—"

"And until that time comes that the young girl blossoms into a young woman who is mature enough to admit that she has feelings for that young man, she will continue to lie to herself and eventually end up depressed that she cannot show her true feelings and is unable to do anything else but tease and poke fun at him." With this, she continued reading her manga.

Hiyori stared at Lisa, unable to process the speech.

"She does have a point, you know?" Mashiro smiled. In a sing-song voice, she announced to the room, "Hiyori likes Shinji! Hiyori likes Shinji!"

Kensei, Love, and Rose looked away from the television and stared at Hiyori.

"Is that true, Hiyori? Is our little girl finally becoming a woman?" Love choked out, wiping a tear from his eye. "This is wonderful!"

"Won't Hirako be surprised?" Kensei chortled, wrapping the bindings on his hands tighter.

Rose smiled encouragingly at Hiyori. "You go for it!"

Hiyori trembled with anger and embarrassment at having been found out.

"Think there will be a marriage?" Mashiro asked innocently. "I want to be a bridesmaid!"

"I don't like Hirako, and we're NOT getting married!"

"Oh." Mashiro pouted, her dreams of wearing a frilly pink dress crushed.

Hiyori snarled at them before stalking furiously to the door when a knock broke the silence.

"C'mon, Ichigo, let's go to the warehouse and get the tape," Shinji urged, tugging Ichigo from his bed.

Ichigo yawned and blinked at Shinji. A sultry smile crossed his lips. He fell backwards onto the bed and pulled Shinji down with him.

"Whuh?" Shinji stared down at Ichigo, feeling him tangle his legs around his.

"You just woke me from a very interesting dream, Shinji," Ichigo stated simply.

When Shinji gave him a questioning look, Ichigo rubbed against him slightly.

Shinji's mouth made a perfect 'O' shape. "Let's take care of it first, okay?" Ichigo smirked, pulling Shinji down for a kiss.

"Erm... hello!" Orihime greeted when the door was ripped open, and the group was confronted by a fuming Hiyori. "I'm sorry to bother you, but is this the place where a party is going to be?"

Hiyori forced herself to calm down. "Yeah. Come in." She allowed them to enter the warehouse and watched suspiciously as they examined the huge room that served as a living room.

Love, Rose, Kensei, Lisa, and Mashiro eyed the strangers invading their domain, unknowing of what to make of the strange people.

"Is this it?" Keigo asked, incredulous. "Where's the big screen television?"

Love pouted and lovingly looked over their average-sized television.

Hiyori grit her teeth as she spat, "Seeing as we don't have a lot of money, this is all we could afford."

Orihime patted Hiyori sympathetically on the back. "It's all right. We don't need a bigger television for us to have fun."

"Why do all of you live together?" Mizuiro asked.

"We're a very loving family, thank you very much," Love defended, crushing Rose and Kensei to him in a tense hug.

"You're all related?"

"No, we aren't, but we're just as good as a real family!"

"Does anyone else live here?" Orihime prodded.

"Yeah, Hachin was out getting some food for the movie." Mashiro bounced.

Uryuu stared at her neon green hair with slight horror. How could hair be that color?

"Hirako will be here soon with Kurosaki." Hiyori smirked.

Orihime perked up. "Does Shinji live here?"

"Oh, yes! Without Shinji, we wouldn't have enough money to survive. He provides for us," Mashiro elaborated affectionately.

Orihime gained a new-found respect for Shinji at that. She smiled brightly. "That's really great. I didn't know Shinji took care of all of you."

Mashiro nodded eagerly.

"We could take care of ourselves," Kensei muttered darkly. "Hirako doesn't do everything around here."

"Oh, and you do?" Hiyori snapped suddenly. "All you guys ever do is watch television and be lazy!"

"You're defending him?" Kensei raised an eyebrow. "You never defend anything."

"Oh, but Hiyori likes Shinji." Mashiro giggled. "Of course she'll defend him."

"Is that true?" Orihime gasped. "You like Shinji?"

Hiyori groaned and slapped a hand to her forehead. "For the last time, I don't like Hirako!"

"Can we start the movie now?" Keigo grumbled. "I'm tired of standing here."

"In a moment." Mashiro waved a finger in a scolding manner. "We must wait for the boxed lunches."

At the mention of food, Keigo stood up straighter. "Fine, but it better not be long."

Shinji and Ichigo panted, falling tiredly on the bed.

Shinji wrapped his arms around Ichigo and buried his face in the warm, sweaty flesh of Ichigo's neck.

Ichigo stroked Shinji's hair affectionately. "Great, as usual, thanks."

Shinji grinned up at him. "I have skills. You have to admit that."

"Oh, yeah, I know that."

Shinji licked Ichigo's neck, elicting a shiver from the shinigami. "I think we should get ready to leave now."

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed, standing. He was unhappy to leave the pleasant warmth radiating from Shinji, but getting the tape was more important.

Shinji leered at Ichigo's exposed backside. "Very nice."

Ichigo yanked the blankets around himself self-consciously. "Don't do that!" The other vizard may have seen it, and more, but he was still uneasy about being nude in clear daylight.

Shinji stood and began collecting his clothing from various parts of the room. "Let's take a shower before we leave."

Ichigo's eyes widened at the smirk curling Shinji's lips.

They were never going to leave, were they?

Hachigen arrived at the warehouse nearly ten minutes later, many bags of boxed lunches in his grasp. "I wasn't sure how many we needed, so I bought twenty."

Everyone but the vizards gaped at the very tall man and his pink hair.

"What is up with everyone's hair lately?" Uryuu exclaimed.

"Twenty? Hm." Mashiro pursed her lips as she counted everyone in the room. "Seventeen. Plus, with Shinji and Ichigo, that makes nineteen. We have an extra boxed lunch. Who would like it?"

Keigo and Love shot to their feet and shouted, "Me, me, me!"

"Well, I suppose you'll have to share, then!" Mashiro decided chipperly. "Yay for sharing!"

Love and Keigo glared daggers at each other. They didn't share very well.

Shinji supported Ichigo as they stepped out of the shower together.

Ichigo clung to Shinji, his legs shaking. "That... that was... new."

Shinji nodded eagerly. "I'm just full of creative ideas. I'm glad you have so much stamina, or we wouldn't be able to try them all."

Ichigo agreed weakly, "Stamina... yeah."

"Well, I think it's time to start the movie." Hiyori snickered. "It's... it's really good."

Love, Rose, and Kensei jumped off the couch as if they had been burned.

"Uhm... uhm... we won't be attending this viewing," Rose stuttered. "We're going out. Leave our boxed lunches alone."

Together, they flashed out of the warehouse.

"What's the deal with them?" Keigo asked, suspicious. "Why don't they want to see the movie? What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing at all! They just don't have good tastes in movies!" Hiyori lied, clenching her hands into fists. Fools!

Hachigen blinked at the tape that Hiyori retrieved. "I... I think I'm going out too."

To his retreating back, Mashiro whined, "Hachin, come back!"

"He has a bad taste in movies too," Hiyori quickly spat when Keigo gave her another suspicious look.

Mashiro passed out the boxed lunches. "We're ready for the movie!"

Lisa settled on the couch and tucked her erotic manga securely under her arm, waiting patiently. She liked the movie. A lot.

Who knew Shinji could look so hot?

Mashiro landed next to her, followed by Orihime and Tatsuki.

Everyone else gathered on the floor around them.

Hiyori was about to put the tape in the connected VCR when Mashiro cried, "Wait! What about Shinji and Ichigo?"

Hiyori furrowed her brow. "They'll understand."

She shoved the tape into the VCR.

Shinji and Ichigo leaped from building to building, Ichigo in his shinigami form. They gathered speed until they spotted the warehouse. Together, they touched down softly on the staircase and opened the door.

Keigo, Mizuiro, Uryuu, and Sado nearly bowled over them as they fled the warehouse.

Over his shoulder, Keigo sobbed, "You're sick, Hirako!"

Shinji and Ichigo quickly entered the warehouse and, to their horror, they found a group of girls gathered on the couch and floor, drooling at the television screen, watching with unhidden fascination.

Several of them wiped absentmindedly at blood dripping from their noses.

Ichigo hid behind Shinji when Orihime turned her gaze reluctantly from the screen to acknowledge Shinji. "O–oh, Shinji!"

At the sound of Shinji's name, all girls snapped their eyes to him.

Hiyori grinned widely.

Shinji stood frozen, his body tense. He could feel their appreciative eyes roam over his body.

There was silence except for the the sounds of pleasure and rustling cloth coming from the television.

"You... you actually did this with Ichigo?" Tatsuki asked, breathless.

"It's so... deliciously forbidden!" Chizuru cried, swiping her finger under her nose to catch a small dribble of blood.

Ryou, Mahana, and Michiru said nothing, merely staring dumbly at the screen.

Orihime chewed on her lip. "I didn't know Ichigo could be that rough."

Shinji groaned quietly, embarrassed beyond belief, feeling Ichigo's hand grip his waist in a supporting gesture. "You're not going to say anything about this, are you?" Shinji asked tentatively.

"Only if you make copies." Tatsuki grinned, winking.

"Or give a live demonstration," Lisa suggested blankly.

"Wow, uhm... Shinji," Mashiro blushed, "I didn't know you could move like that. Ichigo, either."

"Where is Ichigo?" Tatsuki inquired, disappointed at his absence.

A breeze ruffled Ichigo's shihakusho, and Orihime spotted it. She frowned at how embarrassed Ichigo must feel if he hid behind Shinji, even though most everyone couldn't see him in his shinigami form.

When the movie ended, all eyes were on Shinji. He fidgeted nervously. "So... let's keep this quiet?"

"Give us a live demonstration, and we'll think about it," Lisa repeated.

Shinji sighed when he realized that they were serious. "All right... let me get my lover."

A few days later:

"Hey, Hiyori, what ever happened to Mr. Urahara?" Shinji asked, spitting a watermelon seed on the hot pavement. He and Hiyori sat on a fence, gobbling watermelon they had bought from the market.

Hiyori cringed in obvious distaste. "Well, let's just say he won't be able to have kids anymore."

Shinji prodded Hiyori with a finger and smiled darkly. "You loved his hands all over you, right?"

Hiyori relished in the scream of surprise that Shinji gave when he was shoved backwards into the bushes. "Not as much as you love Kurosaki's hands all over you."

Weakly, Shinji prodded, "So... you admit that you at least liked it..."

Without any sympathy, Hiyori dropped her watermelon over Shinji's head.