A/N: First of all: I give you ALL permisson to shoot me. With knives. And maybe even sporks, if you're really annoyed with me.

Now that I have that out of the way...my school is over in two days. D And I just whipped this out in half an hour, ignore any mistakes. Actually don't ignore them, tell me. I really should get a beta reader or something...I've never had one of those before. Hah. I am listening to Justin Timberlake and for some reason his music is making me bouncy (shudder).

I apologize for the rambling. I'm still on a sugar high from my sixteenth birthday on Saturday. :

Disclaimer: I love , but why in Elsewhere would I be on here if I owned any of this?

Exactly.

Epic Burn

Two weeks had passed since I’d first bumped – literally – into Jesse. He had gotten a job working as a fisherman. I’d constantly alert how absolutely boring that sounded, since all he did was help the older rather, younger men with cleaning and such. He’s always retorted with the same comeback: sitting behind a desk all day wasn’t much better.

I had to admit, though, I did love going down to the pier and sitting on the edge as I waited for his boat to return. The ocean breeze was so calming, my skin always tingling when I left the cool, salty breeze. Today as I sat there, watching the red boat I knew as Jess’ assigned one on the horizon, I thought about what he’d finally opened up to me about: his life.

Well, some of it. He’d still never mentioned me, and only once had he spoke of who I knew to be his favorite family member – Maybelle. This was very strange. He’d talk about the rest of his family, how even though his older sisters and Joyce annoyed him to death (no pun intended), he still missed them. And how his parents may have been strict, but he loved them more than anything. But the one time he mentioned Maybelle, all he said was that she was a princess in his eyes. I thought it very sweet; of course he didn’t know I’d seen him taking Maybelle to our secret place.

But there was something else…something he was hiding from me. I could see it in his eyes. It was something that hurt him inside, and caused him to shy away when I confronted the fact he wasn’t telling me something. It was something bad.

“Hey there, Bee.” His cheery voice ripped me from my thoughts, causing me to jump. I’d been so lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t even noticed his boat return to harbor. I glanced back at the horizon; wait, it hadn’t returned. I looked back at Jesse in confusion. He chuckled. “Oh. I took the day off. I had an unexpected surprise this morning.” He grinned brightly.

“Really?” I scooted back from the edge of the high pier before standing and facing him, adjusting the headband I’d recently received from Uncle Levi (he told me I needed to stop stealing his caps, and look more like an actual nine-year-old girl). Jess nodded. “What was it?”

“I had an idea!” He exclaimed, as if he was about to burst from his pride

“Oh how very rare.” I taunted; I couldn’t help myself. He gave me a look, causing me to giggle innocently. “Sorry. What was your idea, oh noble philosopher of Elsewhere?” I was extremely tempted to make a comment about how John Locke lived just a few miles from the beach, but I held my tongue.

“I know where to find Maybelle.”

This certainly caught me off-guard. What in the world – excuse me, Elsewhere - could he mean? It was so easy to find someone on Earth through the giant binoculars of sorts. All you had to do was put the money in and think of them.

“Excuse me?” I questioned unsurely. He laughed, as if my non-understanding amused him. I frowned and crossed my arms.

“I know where to find her! I….she sent me a letter. She’s not very happy with me, but – “ I cut him off abrubtly.

“Maybelle died?” I nearly shrieked in surprise. His eyes widened slightly. Oh, no. I forgot I wasn’t really supposed to know who she was. A blush made it’s way onto my face and I looked down at my feet. “I…I mean…”

“Well, yes.” He continued after clearing his throat. “She died about two months ago. That’s why I came here.” He nodded as I glanced back up at him, cheeks still hot from embarrassment. It took a moment, but his words registered and caused me to scowl.

“You came here?” I repeated slowly. “But…but how? Are you not – ” A gasp escaped my throat as an idea hit me. “Are you not dead?” It hardly came out as a whisper.

“Of course I’m dead.” Once again he seemed entertained at my reaction. “Live people can’t come to Elsewhere.”

“But Jesse, how did you come here? It isn’t a choice. Once you die, you’re on the ship to Elsewhere. You can’t turn back, it’s nearly impossible.” I said it all quickly, but he seemed to understand.

“Bertha…my dieing was a choice.” He spoke each word deliberately, as if this conversation was taking place with an incompetent fool. I hated when he did that to me. I was only nine on the outside; for the most part.

“Explain.” I demanded with a childish pout. So much for only looking my age…

Jess sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. He was frustrated, but I didn’t care. None of this was making sense to me. It was impossible to choose this…

“I committed suicide, Bee. I killed myself.” Again, his words came out slowly, but he wasn’t looking at me now. His head was tilted back, face toward the sky; or, the illusion of the sky.

Jess had committed suicide? No…that wasn’t something Jess would even consider doing. I knew he loved Maybelle – she was the only sister he could even stand for longer than ten seconds – but he would die just to be with her? This notion fascinated me.

“But why?” I let the words slip out without thinking twice. Instantly I regretted it, because he looked sharply to me again, eyes flaming.

“I couldn’t go live like that anymore. Maybelle was the only person that understood me better then Leslie.” His voice broke on my name. An unusually comforting feeling coursed through my veins. I hadn’t heard my name come from his mouth in so long.

“Leslie?” I prodded softly, unsure if he would continue the conversation. When he nodded hesitantly, pain replacing the fire in his hazel eyes, I knew it was my chance to find out what I’d been originally trying to discover all along; his real thoughts about my Earth-self. “Who is she?”

Jess sighed and took the spot on the edge of the dock I had been moments before. I followed suit and placed myself next to him.

“She is – was….she was my best friend.” He spoke after a long silence, staring down at the gentle waves far below us. I was silent, letting him take his time to continue. “She died when we were twleve.” His voice was soft. “I loved her more than anything in the world. She taught me so much, Bee.” Jess sighed and glanced at me with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You remind me of her. It’s so easy to talk to you; you kind of bring out the best in me.”

It was times like these I wish I had an oversized baseball hat on. My eyes were wide; no one had ever said anything like that to me. Not even while I was living. I wanted to grab him, hug him, never let him go. I wanted to tell him that he meant the same to me, that he had been – and still was – the most important thing in my life. But I stayed still, because I knew I couldn’t ever do that. I couldn’t tell him who I was….I’d lied to him.

I’d lied about who I was. Why did I do that? Couldn’t I have taken the simple road and just said right out that I was Leslie Burke? No…because I wasn’t the same. The Leslie he remembered wasn’t who I was anymore – to him, at least. I was still that girl who’d let him find himself within me. But not anymore; now, I was a child.

That was the first time I’d admitted it to myself. I was a child. I could practically feel the knowledge I’d possessed in my pervious life slipping from my increasingly-younger brain and away forever. I wasn’t her. I wasn’t Jesse’s Leslie Burke. Now, I was Jesse’s Bertha. The same person, yet so completely different.

I hadn’t realized I was crying until Jess awkwardly pulled me into his side, hugging me and asking if I was alright. It took a moment for me to catch my breath, but I managed.

“I-I’m fine, Jesse. Just sorry.” I whispered, my throat aching. “So sorry. I wish you wouldn’t have done that.”

“I’m glad I did. Now I can find Maybelle.” He assured me quietly. I lifted my head from against his shoulder, eyes red. I was sure I looked a mess, but nine-year-olds really shouldn’t care all that much. Especially me – I never really had.

“Yes. I’ll help you.” I nodded once, hoping to regain my dignity. “What was your idea?”

“More like….postcard.” He admitted, letting go of me. My brow furrowed.

“She sent you a postcard?”

“Yeah! I have it right here.” He pulled a folded, thick card from his pocket and handed it to me.

Damn you to hell, Jess Aarons. I cannot believe you offed yourself just to find me! Leslie would never approve of this. And yes, I hope that struck a nerve, you arrogent…ugh. I’m only nine, I shouldn’t be thinking mean things about my brother. But when I get a hold of you, you are so in trouble mister!

-May

P.S. I found her.

I nearly laughed, but tears were slowly rolling down my blotched cheeks again. Maybelle had such a strong personality, even now. I looked to Jess, seeing him smile faintly at the crumpled card.

“She’s something, eh?” I just nodded in response.

“When she says, ‘I found her’, she means Leslie, doesn’t she?” I asked, feeling selfish for the subject change, but I had to know.

“I’m assuming.” Jess stated, his eyes suddenly bright. “The address is from Montegro Bay. That’s not far. We can go down there today, and – ”

“I can’t go.” My abrupt interuption confused him, by the look on his face.

“Why not? Earlier you said you would help.”

“I…I know, I just…” Biting my lip, I tried to think of a way out of this.

“Please, Bertha?” He begged, eyes hopeful. “You’d love Maybelle. You two are the same age…technically.” He paused. “Anyways. It might be the last time I get to hang out with you like this, anyways.”

“What do you mean?” I blinked, not expecting to hear that.

“Well, when I find my sister, I’m going to live with her and our cousin.” He explained, his cheery smile back. I suddenly realized it was fake.

“Oh…” I was scowling again, and trying not to let my bottom lip stick out in a pout.

“So please come with me? I won’t make fun of your name the whole time.” He promised quickly. He really wanted me to come, didn’t it? It shouldn’t surprise me as much as it did. I sighed after a few seconds, and his smile turned real; he knew that meant I’d given in. “Thanks.” He said honestly.

“I can’t miss a chance to meet a potential partner in tormenting you.” I said easily. He laughed loudly at that.

“Maybe I shouldn’t let you come.” He joked.

“Too late, you’ve convinced me. I’ll just follow you.” I grinned lightly at him. “And just so you know, you’re going to be smacked in the face with the biggest fish your boat caught without you.” I added, rather randomly. His face fell, and he looked unsure. “I’m serious. Uncle Levi worked on the boats for years. He still smells like seafood sometimes.”

“Ew.” Jess made a face.

“Your own fault you’re so caught up in your once-in-a-lifetime brilliant moment.” I wrinkled my nose at him. He reached over and pushed my shoulder. I screamed, not used to his strength as I was pushed forward toward the waves. He laughed and caught my arm, pulling me so I was sitting farther back.

“You’re such a blonde.”

“Yeah? Well…at least I have an excuse.”

“Alright, you got me.” He sighed and rose to his feet, pulling me up as well. “I won’t argue with that.” He shot me a lopsided grin as he started pulling me away from the end of the dock, still having a grasp around my small wrist. “Tomorrow, we’re going to Montegro Bay.”

“I thought you said tonight.” I commented as I stumbled along beside him.

“I did. But now I have to think of a comeback to that epic burn you just gave me.”

Kind of lame, I admit it. Like I said, half an hour. Anyways, review pleaseee? Some of you still aren't. A simple smiley (or frowny) face would make me unbelievably happy.

In the mean time, check out my profile and stalk me! Stalking is awesome. andheartssemicolon