Confessions of a Tactician

Confessions of a Tactician

Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with the movie

And…begin!

“The green haired lord with the flying sk- smack blade of flash-“ smack

“Kent flashing is a word!”

“Blind-“

“Of speed!”

He waited for a smack but none came and Kent left and Marcus took his place.

“The red haired lord with wood in his name. Ever so persistent and unassuming he gallantly moves forward with bravery and hope.”

Marcus leaves.

“And he’s a pansy”

A javelin nearly misses his feet when Oswin enters

“The powerhouse and foil to Eliwood, despite being ignorant of others feelings he does sometimes think rationally of others, and despite being a brute he has a heart under the armor”

Oswin leaves the tent and the tactician is left alone sitting in the chair.

“Kent the chivalrous, nice, robot of a knight. Despite putting his duty…hehehe…First, if he could relax when the times comes, he could finally tell Lyn how he feels for her.”

“Sain, he drives the ladies insane with his constant failure. If he spent less time trying to court ladies and more time focusing on the battlefield his mortality rate would be higher and he wouldn’t have so many injuries.”

Some giggles can be heard.

“Dorcas…need I say more?”

An axe flies in overhead

“Its good he’s trying to support his wife but he should really be spending time with her.”

“Wil…the many puns; fire at will! What’s left for me in his will? Will you shut up?”

An arrow flies in and he dodges narrowly as it hits a box behind him.

“Erk, if he wasn’t like Kent but a little more focused, perhaps he would stop fainting on the battlefield and-

Thunder strikes through the tent and he dances dodging the lighting.

“Serra, if only if only there was a spell to shut you up…”

“Good no-“

A silence rod is thrown and hits him in the stomach with great force

“Florina, if you had confidence perhaps we wouldn’t have to risk you as a casualty everytime we do bat-“

A sob is heard and the sound of a sword and 2 spheres being held are made.

“If this is kept up, I’ll be more hated then Sain…”

“Rath, your words hurt the most most of anyone else, but if anyone else, it would be your horse whom offends me.”

An arrow is shot nearly missing his head.

“Lucius, the reoccurring jokes of, what are you, my only problem to your ambigious gender confusion is that you are soft spoken.”

“Nils, you’re a strange one, you act like a child and play but when the time comes you act as though you are older beyond your age.”

“Ninian, I hate your shy and mousy personality, it sounds as though you are having an or-

A rapier leaves a hole in his cape.

“Wallace, I want to call you a walrus with a auto-sphere but I am afraid of being stabbed by your compensating sphere of slow almost never hit doom. Despite being a gardener and knowing which way a flow grows, if you had a map on you, perhaps you wouldn’t end up in the most strangest of places.”

“Matthew…despite being nice and doing your job there is tradegy behind the cloak which you hide.”

“Marcus, you provide advice…why not be our fortune teller?”

“Lowen, how you see is a mystery. Never will I eat your cooking again if you have no idea has to what you put in it.”

A pan is thrown first, but its evaded due to him tripping, then a bottle of poison is flung and it misses due to his rolling around. He gets up and brushes himself off.

“If only they have this drive against the enemy at times…”

“Oswin, old you might look, but slow you are.”

“Bartre, despite your power, you couldn’t cut a stationary target without taking everything out around you first.”

“Guy. Hey guy! What a generic and bland name, but your strikes are quick and fast…how you miss axe wielder, twice, that one time is beyond me!”

“Priscilla, get close to you, Raven cuts off my staff with one clean shot. No recovery there. Likes tea time with Lyn and Nino.”

“Canas, a chap you are, squimish and your love for books are favored, however your selfishness of the pursuit of knowledge may leave you hollow. Stop reading at odd times!”

“Dart. Who are you? Why Dart? Where are you aiming at? Whom are you aiming for? Why are you so slow with someone with a fast na-”

A flying tomahawk cuts off some of his hairs.

“Legault, your sexuality is questioned by Heath, toying with people you love to do, but bring up a friend and if it reeks of doom. You love family but ironically don’t have one of your own.”

“Isadora, you are somewhat the opposite of Florina and yet have many common traits as she does. Despite how strong you are you lack courage.”

“Heath, you looked as though you stepped out of a time machine from the 80’s. Have yet to see you rock your hair wildly or play an axe or instrument of some sort. Your dragon sounds like a Pokemon move”

“Hawkeye, despite your strong billed, you only wear that thong to cover it all, you make Nini-

5 rapiers are stuck in the boxes behind him but one grazes him.

“Geitz, you’re like a teen in the body of a man, because of the fact you don’t know what’s worth in life anymore.”

“Harken, your strong tendencies of loyalty have shattered your moral being, please find religion or peace. Cool hair by the way.”

“Jaffar, the tragic killer, I wish your new found freedom is long lived.”

“Farina, you should have been a thief instead of a knight or maybe more? Prehaps a who-“

He ducks with his arms over his head and one eye closed, thinking a spear is to impale him but nothing happens.

“I’ll skip Vadia for the sake of self-preservation.”

“Karla trying to kill your brother, where the hell is the love?”

“…”

“I can’t think of something witty for everyone!”

“Finally Santa, he brings weapons as gifts and gives mysterious meanings to piss me off.”

As the whole tent went a blaze around the tactician, he only sat there feeling global warming up-close.

As soon as it was over he fled from the tent and Athose sat there within the once tent and sighed.

“Tactician, although a wise, cunning young person, you are immature, perverted and odd, perhaps you need to be put in a place where all mental people rest.”

“Screw it! He should have talked to Bramimond, that way his own cynical reflection could be seen. If I hang out with these youngsters anymore I am going to die! I need to disco…”

I forget why I wrote this.

I skipped certain characters because I couldn’t think of anything for them.