Lol no theme. Because I couldn't think of one. I just wrote.

A Big Deal

"Really, Kakashi, it's not a big deal. Some women just can't--"

"It is a big deal."

He pulls up from between her legs and deposits himself on the pillow beside her, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and looking decidedly pissed. Sakura's trying not to feel too cross because really, this is all her false. And as far as punishments go, even though she feels a little raw, this isn't so bad.

"It's not. I forgot the number exactly, but I think the percentage of women who can't is--"

"Please, no statistics."

It had started with a girl's night in. Sakura, Ino, Hinata, and Tenten had all locked themselves into Ino's with nothing more than pajamas, blankets, and entirely too much liquor. Truth or Dare had turned into just Truth when the small group had realized that Ino was the only one not balking at propositions for dares. Tenten had asked a question, and though Sakura couldn't rightly remember what the question was, she remembered her answer loud and clear.

"It's hilarious! The copy nin, the man who can see through genjutsu, can't tell when I'm faking it."

Unfortunately, Sakura wasn't the only one who remembered her answer. Ino hadn't been as drunk as everyone else, the sly bitch, and now, now the whole town knew that Haruno Sakura was quite the actress. Kakashi, the most oft-whispered about man in Konoha ladies' restrooms, was now the butt of a million bad, dirty jokes. She didn't blame him for trying to reassert his dignity. But it was getting to the point where she was almost numb.

"I could always use my--"

"No."

"But we've never--"

"No."

They share a glare that's more foreplay than anything else he's been doing to her for the past hour. It's all been so mechanical - as if Kakashi opened a mental manual and set to work. But she's not a VCR and she can't be programmed like one. Her vagina does not have a clock to set.

"Kakashi, let's just..."

"Alright."

"It'd be better if you just--"

"Took my time?"

"Yeah and if you--"

"Be more fluid about it. Got it."

Thirty minutes later, Sakura is very happy to say that she is no longer apart of the statistic.

Questions

It's been a long, long time since any one of his students have approached him about his mask. To his relief, they've stopped trying to trick it off of him. Like the rest of Konoha, they've accepted it as just another part of his body; an extra limb, a third nipple. Unnatural, but unremovable. But recently, Sakura's taken to asking him about it. She hasn't been trying to pry it off his face or anything - she's just been rattling questions out every time they see each other which, he's noticed, is more than it has been. Not that he minds; now that she's older and they're colleagues instead of teacher and student, things have relaxed between them. She's old enough so that he doesn't feel bad about drinking with her, but young enough so that everything still points up. Yes, he's noticed.

The questions she asks are innocent at first. He thinks she's just satisfying curiosity.

"Does your mask smell funny?"

"Do you take it off when you do laundry?"

Then they get a little stranger.

"You don't wear it in the shower. But what about when you shower with other people?"

"So how many women in town have seen your face?"

And then, one day, she lays it out. He should have expected it, but he didn't.

"Do you wear that thing when you're having sex?" Kakashi is so utterly and completely shocked, that he can't think of a lie quick enough, because to think too hard about it would be to give her time to tease him. He throws out an answer and it turns out to be the truth.

"No."

"Good." She says, tapping his nose. "Now I know how to get it off of you."

He's speechless and beneath his mask, his jaw is hanging as he watches her walk away.