Body Hollowed

-

They’d found Sasuke two years later - had in fact dragged him out of a river, where he’d tried to drown himself and failed. He wore foreign clothing and his hair was longer, but he was Sasuke just the same, unchanged except for the hollow look in his eyes.

It was early summer and, as it happened, a perfect day for fishing.

The man who found him lived in the Sasuke’s hometown, and even remembered the posters that had gone up after his disappearance.

This is what he said:

“I’ve been fishing in that river ever since I was six, but I’ve never seen a dead body in it before. That’s what I thought he was at first - a body. He got caught up in the tree roots along the bank, and I was about to pack up and get the police, or the mortician, or somebody, but then he moved. I saw that very clearly; he opened his eyes, and his arms moved around a little. When I saw that, I ran and got an ambulance instead.” He laughs, nervously. “I hope he’ll be alright, though. I mean, I knew about him before he disappeared - nearly everyone did - and about what happened to his family too. Terrible. I thought he’d gone and killed himself, but there was never a body.” More nervous laughter, and he glances toward the hospital in the background. “I guess he didn’t quite get there, huh?”

Lying in his hospital bed later that week, an IV in his wrist, Sasuke stared up at the ceiling with dark, shadow-ringed eyes. Those who saw him said he looked sickly, but all the blood tests came back negative and in the end they had to release him, though it was obvious he wasn’t alright.

He rented a small apartment, blinds drawn to avoid the stares of passerby and reporters, and (according to later sources) spent most of his time sleeping in a darkened room, where he’d dragged the mattress off the bed and piled it with blankets despite the heat the thermometer indicated.

It was nearly a week after Sasuke’s release that Naruto gathered enough to courage to visit him. The apartment was run down considering the money Sasuke had, but it was the right one; a few reporters lingered near the check-in desk, cameras in hand, watching Naruto suspiciously as he passed. His blond hair was a mess, as always, but he still looked too clean for this place; with its tattered carpet and chipping staircase, this apartment was one for people without much money, for people who had stood in line for welfare and unemployment checks.

Naruto knocked on the door five times, each a little louder than the last. It took a few seconds for the door to open, and Sasuke peered out at him curiously.

“Naruto?”

He looked strange, not just his face but his entire body, his entire being sagging with weariness. Shadows hung under his eyes; his skin was too pale, almost sallow, and his voice… well, his voice wasn’t his own at all.

Behind him Naruto could see a recently cleaned living room, though already little things were falling out of place. Books left open, teacups left out, a blanket thrown over the back of a kitchen chair. These were all things he remembered, and it was a shock to see just how much Sasuke had changed alongside them. His face had hollowed, and his entire body seemed thinner, more fragile than before.

“Here, come in,” Sasuke said, holding the door open.

“It’s been two years, but you look exactly the same,” lied Naruto easily. He grinned, certain Sasuke would roll his eyes as he used to and then mutter something under his breath, but for a long moment (too long a moment) there was no reply. Sasuke’s hands - paler than Naruto remembered - lay neatly hidden in his lap, the door now closed behind him.

“Don’t lie to me,” Sasuke said quietly, turning into the kitchen. “I look like shit.”

He opened one cupboard, shut it, opened a second.

“Where’s the damn… oh.” He picks up a teacup on the kitchen table, then put the kettle on to boil.

“I had to get all this stuff new,” he said as he got out teabags, handing one to Naruto. “They took everything when I left, and they won’t give me any of my money back because they already spent it building roads. Bastards.” Though the last word came in a harsh whisper, his face, his shoulders - the lines of his body - show only exhaustion.

“Where did you go?” Naruto asked carefully, sitting down at the table.

Sasuke shrugged.

“Everywhere. Nowhere.”

x

They took their tea out into the living room, and drank it sitting on the couch. Unlike the other rooms this one was filled with light; spilling in the windows, covering the carpet, the couch, the dead television set. And this, somehow, was unexpected - even obscene.

“Why did you go?” Naruto asked eventually, looking over to find Sasuke slumped down with his head thrown back, the teacup still clasped in both hands. His posture was somewhat alarming, but Naruto swallowed any fear pounding in his chest to listen to Sasuke’s response, delivered in monotone.

“I wanted something else…. You wouldn’t understand this, Naruto, but being born with the name I’ve got was a kind of curse after what happened. People were always whispering about me, mumbling apologies, saying how bad they felt about my family. I wanted to get away from them, from this. Start again. You can’t imagine how badly I wanted it….

“And so I died. It was easy, actually. You wouldn’t expect it to be, but I just told Sakura I was going swimming, then tore up my shirt and threw it in with one of my shoes. That river’s fast - everyone knows it - and it was very believable that I’d been swept under and drowned. And you know, it was great for the first while - like a long vacation. I bought a house under an assumed name, even made some friends.”

“But?” asked Naruto quietly.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” murmured Sasuke. He shook his head, long hair flowing with the movement, and Naruto could see strands of grey here and there, creeping in like an illness. Like a slow death.

They sat together for a long while after, and eventually it became clear that there was nothing left to say. That was when Sasuke walked him to the door, and Naruto promised to come again soon (though both knew it wasn’t likely to happen), and they parted, knowing their friendship had been fractured in some subtle but essential way.

He did not look back, unaware that Sasuke stood at the railing until his car had vanished around a corner, and even the trail of exhaust vanished in the bright summer air.

finis