River stood outside the mess hall, poised to enter. She had a fluttery feeling in her stomach and her hands were shaking slightly as she fidgeted. She had eaten less than an hour ago so she knew this feeling was not caused by low blood sugar. She was also up to date on all her immunizations and medications so could not possibly be caused by any sort of viral or bacterial infection. In fact, as she quickly ran through the mental list of possible conditions that would cause the sort of symptoms she was feeling, she was surprised to discover one condition she had never experienced before.

River was nervous.

She had never been nervous. She had been scared, angry, and confused but never nervous. Somehow, she always knew that she could handle whatever situation came her way, whether it was fighting a horde of angry Reavers or unlocking a Haliburton. After all, it was a part of her training. It was what she was designed to do.

River was designed to live, fight, and survive. There was no situation she couldn't handle.

Except perhaps for this one.

This particular situation was completely out of her realm of experience and she had no idea what to do.

She thought it would be easier to confront him since picking up on his stray emotion, but the opposite was true. Every time they were in the same room together, her throat seemed to close up and her mouth refused to function properly.

With a deep breath, she smoothed out her skirt and ran a hand through her hair. She straightened her shoulders and, with what she thought was a confident posture, walked into the dining room.

Jayne sat at the table with an array of weaponry spread out before him as he leaned back in the chair, arms crossed over his chest. He looked self-assured and cocky as usual but River could feel the anxiety rolling off him in waves. Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open like a dead fish.

Jayne was as nervous as she was!

"You just gonna stand there gawking or are ya gonna sit your ass down so we can start?" Jayne's rumbling voice interrupted her reverie. River quickly shut her mouth gave him a light smile then glided over and positioned herself in the chair next to him.

Jayne watched as the young girl reached out and carefully touched the barrel of a .45 XL Edison in a move he could only describe as a caress. Damn, but he had never seen a move as sensual as what the girl just did. Didn't help that she had no idea what a turn on it was.

River glanced up at him with a little smile as she picked up the gun.

"So you're going to teach me how to use this?" she said, indicating the weapon. Jayne gulped and took a deep breath, drawing his eyes away from the sight of her small hand grasping the fine weapon and up to her face. He nodded silently, watching as her lips curved upward and her eyes laughed.

"Weren't my idea none," he replied defensively. "Mal seems to think ya need a lesson on handling guns 'fore this next job."

River stifled a giggle and placed the gun back on the table in front of Jayne. Moving around the side of the table, she pulled out a chair next to him and sat down, angling her body in his direction.

"Do you think I need it, Jayne?" she asked, looking over at him. Jayne stared down at those big brown eyes and almost forgot to reply.

"Naw," he said after a moment. "Way I figure, you need this about as much as l'il Kaylee needs a lesson on engine repair. But it's the Captain's rules. Guess he just wants to make sure you're familiar with it."

"Captain's boat, captain's rules," River replied. Jayne grinned down at her and picked up the Edison, displaying it proudly in his rough, large hands.

"You know, I don't think I've ever handled one of your guns," River said, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. She ran her hand up and down the barrel. "You have a very impressive weapon."

River closed her eyes as she felt a wave of lust roll over her.

With a deep breath, Jayne stamped down the emotions that he could feel creeping up and turned to the task at hand.

"Now this here," he said as he showed her the gun "is a .45 XL Edison. It's a mighty fine piece of weaponry, if I do say so myself, but only if you treat it proper." River looked up at him and cocked an eyebrow. Jayne smirked before continuing his lesson.

"See," he said as he tore his eyes away from her adorably curious expression. "A gun's like a woman. Treat her with care, take her out once in a while and she'll love ya forever."

"So you think all women are the same, then?" River answered. "Tell me Jayne, do you treat 'em all the same?"

"Hey now," Jayne raised his hands defensively, gun still in hand. "Treating with care means something different to each woman. Some women like being all romantic like, others like their space. Depends on the woman, just like it depends on the gun. Gotta get to know it first." River paused for a moment, her brow furrowed in thought.

"You treat Kaylee with care." It was more of a statement than a question, but Jayne caught the meaning behind it. He placed the gun he was still holding back on the table and leaned back in his chair. Crossing his arms, he gazed down at her.

"That's different and you know it," he replied. River huffed and mimicked his posture.

"Is it?" she retorted.

"Yeah it is! Kaylee ain't never been more'n a sister to me. Side's…" Jayne lowered his voice and leaned in closer to her. "It ain't my fault your brother's a dumbass."

Jayne was getting agitated. He didn't like where this line of questioning was going. If he didn't know any better he woulda thought the girl was getting jealous.

River tried to steady her breathing as Jayne moved closer to her. She had to control herself.

"T'weren't my idea, none anyhow. Was yours and Kaylee's," he continued after a moment. The only response he got was River's quiet breathing.

River rose abruptly from her chair and walked to the door.

"Mine and Kaylee's," she echoed softly before she walked out of the room, leaving Jayne alone again with his guns and stunned at her abrupt departure.

"Gorram moonbrain," he muttered quietly to no one in particular.

Jayne and River sat next to each other in the backseat of the mule, deafening silence threatening to drive them both crazy. Both were acutely aware of the proximity of the other and both were desperately trying to avoid looking at the other.

"You two fighting or something?" Mal's exasperated voice drew their attention to the front seat of the mule.

"Or sumthin," Jayne muttered quietly. Zoe glanced back at him through the rearview mirror, a slight smirk gracing her face as she piloted the mule toward the latest drop off point.

"Well, stop before we get to the drop off point." Mal's response was short and it was all he could do to keep from laughing at the petulant looks that crossed Jayne's and River's faces.

Zoe parked the ship in front of a run-down old warehouse and jumped out, her mouth drawn in a thin line as she surveyed the old building.

"I got a bad feeling about this, sir." Mal climbed down beside her, barely glancing at the boarded up windows.

"Well, it ain't like we been working much lately," he replied as he adjusted his holster and checked the safety on his weapon. "'Sides, I have a plan. We'll be okay."

"You always say that and we never are," was the acerbic reply.

"Well, this plan is fool-proof." Zoe merely raised an eyebrow so Mal continued speaking.

"See, way I figure it," he said, "we send River and Jayne in first to survey the place, make sure everything is all copasetic-like before they give us the go-ahead over the comm. Brilliant, ain't it? Sure is nice having two trained killers on payroll."

Zoe looked back at the so-called trained killers and her other eyebrow quirked upward. The pair of them made quite the sight. River was leaning against the mule with her arms folded and a pout across her face that reminded Zoe of a sulking child. Jayne, on the other hand, looked like he was throwing a tantrum. She winced slightly as the hulking mercenary slammed down the lid of the cargo trunk on the mule as he muttered something about crazy women and their unpredictable moods.

"You sure about this, sir?" Zoe knew a bad idea when she saw one and with the way River and Jayne were acting toward one another, this was definitely a bad idea. Mal paused and looked over at his two gunhands.

"They're professionals, Zoe," Mal replied. "Whatever issues they're having right now, it won't get in the way of their job."

Something in Mal's tone of voice made Zoe pause.

"Alright, sir," she nodded. "But I ain't gonna be the one to break it to them."

Mal grimaced as he glanced back at River and Jayne standing side by side in stony silence. Zoe smothered a grin as she watched Mal walk over to the two and explain his plan. The look on the mercenary's face was priceless but Zoe's mirth was quickly subdued by the glare River had directed toward the Captain. Zoe sighed to herself. Professional or not, if River's black mood was any indication, nothing good was going to come of Mal's plan.

"Ain't this just lovely," Jayne pulled at the ropes that bound his hands together, wincing as the knots drew tighter with his movements.

"I would refrain from doing that unless you want to cut off all circulation to your appendages." River's quiet voice cut through the darkness of the cold jail cell where they were being held. Jayne cursed loudly before turning his head in the direction of her voice.

"Ain't this why we bring you along?" he accused. "So's we don't get in situations like this?

"The alternative was much less pleasant," River replied. "You die."

Jayne strung together a few more colorful phrases.

"Perhaps we'd better focus on how to get out of here," River said. "And not the nature of my mother's ancestry."

"Well, do ya know what they want?" the merc grumbled.

"Hard to focus," the girl mumbled. "Too many thoughts, too much interference."

"Well can ya try to focus," Jayne's gruff voice cut through her concentration. Even though he couldn't see her through the darkness, River shot a deathly glare at him. Unaware that River was mentally shooting daggers through his skull, Jayne continued on his diatribe.

"Kaylee's making stew tonight," he groused. "I was really lookin' forward to that."

"That's not all you were looking forward to." River tried to mumble under her breath, but unfortunately the mercenary's hearing was far better then she anticipated.

"What's that you said, girl?" Jayne scowled and River huffed.

"You heard it," was the short response.

"Well mebbe you better explain it."

"Well, maybe I don't have to."

"You know, I'm gettin' really sick of this stupid feng le plan. More trouble then it's worth."

"Well perhaps the big neanderthal ape should not have deviated so much from aforementioned plan," River's voice quivered with excess emotion as she spoke.

"Me deviated?" Jayne shot back. "Yer the one getting your panties all twisted around spouting off some craziness 'bout me and Kaylee."

"Were just s'posed to get Simon jealous. That's all!" River was desperately holding back the tears that threatened to spring forth. "Weren't supposed to get emotionally attached!"

"Yeah, well it ain't my fault your brother's dumber then a doorpost. What do you care anyways?"

River didn't answer Jayne's accusation. Instead she quietly sniffled in the corner.

Jayne paused for a moment, listening to the sound of the crazy killer girl crying in the corner when it suddenly dawned on him.

"Wait," he said. "What do you mean emotionally attached?"

The sound of River's sharp intake of breath did not go unnoticed by the chained up merc.

"You talking 'bout me or you, moonbrain?" Jayne asked. The ensuing quiet was all the answer he needed. "Aw hell! You're jealous ain't ya?"

River's silence echoed loudly through the jail cell.

"Well, uh," Jayne was at a loss for words. Here he was, mooning over the girl for the past few months, thinking she didn't want him when all along she did. He had to admit, he was pleased with the turn of events. River, however, was a nervous wreck. She hadn't meant to let him know and had several pre-formulated answers should he ever question her the way he did. Unfortunately, at the precise moment when those answers would have come in useful, she found her mouth quite unwilling to move and her vocal cords unable to produce any sounds.

"Huh," Jayne grunted, a smile spreading across his face at the realization that he could now have the girl, Kaylee's plan be damned.

"Did not mean for the big man to know," River's quiet voice cut through Jayne's train of thought. "But then she caught a cloud of his thoughts and…"

River paused and was unable to say anymore.

"Aw hell, girl," Jayne replied. "Yer supposed to be the ruttin' genious. I only said I'd help Kaylee because you and her are so close. Ya gotta know I been watching you all these months."

"You like her?" came the quiet response.

However, before he could answer, the doors to the jail cell burst open and Mal and Zoe marched in with guns blazing like big damn heroes.

Jayne nearly cursed out loud at Mal's timing.

River did curse out loud.

"Well now Zoe," Mal stated as he cradled his gun in one arm. "Seems like we's got a couple of criminal's need rescuing."

"We got a couple alright," Zoe replied, carefully taking in the mutually annoyed expression on Jayne and River's faces.

"Well now, this is nice and all but while you two been seating on your asses, we've been doing some thieving," Mal continued as he knelt down and cut the cords that bound Jayne's wrists while Zoe did the same to River.

"However, I do believe they might be on to us, so we best make haste outta this place," the Captain said, helping Jayne to his feet.

The quartet of criminals quickly made their way through the abandoned warehouse and out into the street where the mule was safely parked and waiting for them.

Safely back on the ship, River expertly piloted the ship out of atmo and set it on autopilot. She leaned back in the pilot's seat and propped her feet up on the console, taking a few moments to reflect on the activities of the past few days.

Jayne had pretty much admitted that he thought she wasn't too bad but Mal's horrible timing had prevented anything else from being discussed. However, she was fairly certain the mercenary held her in higher regard then when they first met and she was fairly certain she felt the same way.

Now she had to figure out what to do about it. Unfortunately the genius within her was used to dealing with problems of physics and not problems of the heart. She lightly strummed her fingers against the armrests and sighed loudly.

"You and I gotta have ourselves a little discussion," the deep rumbling voice of the object of her musings cut through her thoughts. Jayne lumbered onto the bridge and sat down in the co-pilot's chair opposite her.

River couldn't help but think that, unlike the Captain, Jayne had really good timing.

"Seems to me we started talking 'bout something and we need to clear up what it means," Jayne continued. River opened her mouth to reply but found herself unable to form any words, something that had recently become a regular occurrence while in Jayne's company.

Jayne swallowed thickly as the girl just stared at him with those big brown eyes he found more irresistible then a Callahan Fullbore Autolock. Suddenly, he found himself unable to continue on his train of thought.

"Aw hell, what I mean to say is…" Jayne was interrupted by the bit of a girl that had slipped onto his lap and was now gently kissing him.

"And people say I talk too much," she murmured into his lips.

Jayne couldn't help the smile that crossed his face. Wrapping his arms around her tightly, he drew her closer and kissed her soundly.

Simon had been on his way to the bridge to check up on River, but unlike Mal, his timing was pretty good.

"Hey doc," Mal said as he passed by in the corridor.

"Captain, I need to talk to you about picking up some medical supplies on Greenleaf," Simon replied.

"Can't it wait? I was just heading up to the bridge to check our heading." Simon shook his head.

"I was just there, River has everything under control," he answered. "This is important. If we don't discuss these supplies I may not be able to save your life next time you get shot." Mal grimaced and turned around, following the doc to the infirmary.

"Alright then, but make it quick," he replied.

"Oh don't worry," said Simon. "It'll only take a moment. Besides, I know Kaylee needs to speak with you concerning some engine parts."

Meanwhile, up on the bridge, two trained killers got to know each other a little bit better, uninterrupted.