“Your mother? Why, Sam, that’s great! I’ve never met any of your family. You’ve never really talked about your family.” Derek was ecstatic to be meeting Sam’s mother. This seemed like it was a big step for Sam since, until the other night, he had known very little about Sam’s family life.

“Now, Derek, I have to warn you. She’s not too happy about our little arrangement. And she can be very stubborn.”

“Oh, I’m sure everything will be fine, darling. She just wants to the best for you. I’m sure I can show her that I’m that.” Derek smiled and kissed Sam.

Oh, he is wonderful, isn’t he? Sam thought to himself. If only his mother would agree. Helena had already showed her discontent for Derek. She could barely remember his name! And no witchcraft… well, that could probably be her breaking point.

“Well, guess we’ll just have to find out,” Sam murmured.

“What’s that dear?”

“Oh, nothing, darling. I’ll make you a sandwich.” Sam’s mouth went up slightly at the side in wonderment. Sam wondered what was going to happen when his mother came to dinner.

oOoOoOo

Everything was finishing up in the kitchen, and Sam was anxious. Ly had come over earlier and given him specific instructions on how to prepare this meal correctly. It wasn’t the food that Sam worried about, however. It was his mother. He hoped so much that she liked Derek. And that Derek like Helena. She was a lot to deal with true, but she was his mother. Derek was quietly pacing in the living area when the buzzer at the apartment door went off.

“I’ll get it,” Derek rushed up. He brushed his jacket off and reached for the doorknob. When he opened the door, Helena stood elegantly with long, sandy brown hair pulled tightly back into a ponytail of curls. She wore a long green dress cut square at the breast and flowing just above her ankles. “You must be Mrs…”

“Helena, darling. You must be Deacon.” Helena offered her soft hand for Derek.

“It’s Derek, but, yes,” he responded nervously, lightly accepting her hand and kissing the top.

“My, how sweet. May I come in?” Derek nodded and stepped to the side. “Samuel,” she offered as she entered the apartment. Her son was coming out of the kitchen. “It’s so good to see you again. I see you’re… cooking.”

“Yes, Mother. That’s how we do things around here.”

“I see. I see.” Helena gathered herself, trying to be as kind as she could be. She looked around. The apartment certainly was small. The door opened against a short wall that housed a walk in closet in front of the living space. There was room enough for a small entertainment center along the closet wall, as well as a sofa and a chair on either side on the opposite wall. Small tables sat between the sitting arrangements with a lamp on each.

“Quaint,” Helena forced a smile. The dining area was much smaller. The table was arranged for three and was meant to seat four. Two looked like a tight fit to Helena. There was a small bar across the other wall. The kitchen door was closer than the hallway, and it looked to her that more then one or two people in there would be more than awkward. It would be positively obscene.

“Oh, I like it, Mother. It’s very nice.” Helena nodded to her son’s comment and walked towards the hallway.

“Which one is the restroom? I’d like to powder my nose, please.”

“The last door on the right, and feel free to make yourself at home,” Derek responded.

“I’ll try, Darryl.” That son-in-law of hers muttered something as she walked away put she paid him no mind. There were three doors at the end of the hallway. The door on the left led into the master bedroom which also held a walk in closet along the wall next to the door. On the right were two doors. The first went into the second bedroom, whose closet was against the wall on the far end, closer to the kitchen. How barbaric! Probably opposite of their little pantry. Of course, Helena knew it was. She was inspecting every detail of this little niche they called a home.

She opened the last door on the right: the bathroom. It was small, but at least two people could move around in it. It had one sink closest to the door, but had a counter to the right of it. At the far end were the toilet and the shower. It seemed so cramped! How could Derek let Samuel live like this?! Why would Samuel let himself live like this? Helena looked at herself in the mirror. Perfect, as usual, she thought and headed back toward the dining area.

“I love what you’ve done with your hair, Mother. It’s been so long since I’ve seen it… well… long.”

“Oh, yes, it’s very pretty. What do you usually do with it?”

“It’s usually as short as yours, Derwood.”

“It’s Derek.”

“Oh, I aaam sorry,” she seethed. “I just can’t seem to get it right. Well, never mind that. I’m sure it will come to me. I keep it short so that it doesn’t flip into my face. It can be quite annoying at a hundred or so miles per hour. Especially when the wind is blowing.”

“A hundred…?” Derek looked at Sam who shook his head wide-eyed.

Don’t ask, Sam thought, hoping Derek knew what he was saying. Just don’t ask.

oOoOoOo

“Well, so far so good,” Derek whispered to Sam as they grabbed coffee from the kitchen. “I think your mother likes me.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that. I’m sure she’s up to something.”

“Now, Sam, don’t be a pessimist. Your mother seems perfectly normal. You know, except for the witch thing.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Sam defended himself. Was witch supposed to be a bad thing?

“I just mean that I don’t know very many witches. And for being a witch she seems very normal!”

“Well, we are very normal,” Sam responded, and took the coffee into the living area. “Coffee, Mother?”

“Of course, darling, but you don’t have to do it yourself. Let me do it.”

“No, that will be perfectly alright. We like to do things the mortal way around here. Isn’t that right, Derek?”

“Yes, I think it builds integrity and a sense of pride. Plus, what would the neighbors think if they saw things floating around all the time?” Derek grinned at what he thought was a cute and clever joke.

“Why, who would care what they thought? It’s none of their business, now is it,” Helena retorted. “Witchcraft is nothing to be ashamed of…” Derek stood stunned, unsure of what to say.

“No, Mother, we’re not ashamed. Just cautious. We don’t want a modern day witch-hunt on our hands. Plus, I like to do things on my own.” Sam smiled and nodded. Helena couldn’t believe her ears. Over and over again, her son seemed to surprise her by actually doing things. It was alright to do them every once in a while. But all the time? Now, that was ridiculous. What’s the point of being a witch?

“If you so choose, dearie. But be careful what you wish for. You know what they say. ‘Use it or lose it.’ I couldn’t bear to see that happen to you.”

“Oh, I don’t think it’d be so bad,” Derek responded. Sam hunched back, hissing to himself in embarrassment. He knew that was the wrong thing to say.

“Wouldn’t be so bad? Wouldn’t be so bad? Oh, really, Derwood? How would you like it if someone chopped off your legs? It wouldn’t be so bad, now would it? Or maybe chopped off both your arms. That wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe they’ll just take your head with it. You’re not using it at the moment anyway. It wouldn’t be so bad.” Helena had already gotten up and started moving toward Derek. She was moving her arms around dramatically with every phrase, and Derek was beginning to fear for himself. He looked at Sam, who gave a small shrug.

“Mother, he didn’t mean anything by it. He doesn’t know much about it yet. If he knew what he had said, I’m sure he wouldn’t have said it.”

“Oh, ‘he’s only human,’ right? That’s the excuse they always use. Why make any exceptions. No, they’re only human, Samuel. They can’t help being stupid. But you can. You’ve seen how ignorant he can be. Leave with me.”

“No, Mother, I love him,” Sam ran into Derek’s arms, and Derek smiled.

“Oh, you ignorant, boy. You will see soon enough. As for you, Donald. Watch yourself… because I will be, too.” With that, Helena swooped her arm upwards and was gone in a puff of smoke.

“Oh, goodness. Now you’ve gotten on Mother’s bad side,” Sam grimaced.

“How bad can it be?” Derek asked rhetorically.

“You don’t even want to know,” Sam responded, and the pair looked cautiously up and around.