Life According to Liberty Bell

A/N: We were experimenting with point of view in my writing class, so I hope this doesn’t come out too stupid. I think the hardest thing is a kid’s point of view, so hope you like this. Grammar mistakes are all intentional. I’m putting this here, because I was hoping to make it a series.

“Liberty Bell, if you put one more Bac-O on that potato, I'm gonna kick your little monkey butt.”

I stop doing it, cause Daddy said so. I don’t know why he said so, but he did. I really like those Bac-Os cause they’re really yummy, only maybe I did put too many. When Daddy or Mommy call me Liberty Bell, that means I do stuff that are bad. Mostly they only call me LB, except when I’m being bad. They never call Juno anything except Juno. Maybe she’s not bad, or maybe because she’s old.

Juno is my sister. Sometimes she’s funny, but sometimes she’s mean to me. I don’t think she likes me. When mommy and daddy leave, she’s supposed to baby sit me, only now I know how that doesn’t mean to sit on me. My Mommy isn’t Juno’s mommy, so Juno calls her Bren. One time I tried to call her Bren, only Mommy said that for me her name is Mommy. Then she said that Juno has to play with me, and I liked that.

Juno was the first one who said I was a monkey. I like to climb on things and I don’t talk so much, but that doesn’t mean I’m a monkey. Now daddy started saying I have a monkey butt, only I’m not a monkey! Daddy’s silly. There was one time, when I was climbing on stuff, and then I forgot how it was medicine time. Whenever it’s medicine time, mommy always gives me my medicine, only that time Juno had to. Only she didn’t and the big scary doctors came and I didn’t feel so good, and I couldn’t bring my dolly even though I like my dolly and she has to come with me and she’s nice.

That time was the only time Mommy and Daddy ever got really super mad at Juno. They said she was turning out like her no good mother and should live with the replacement family. I don’t know what that means, but it made Juno really sad. Then her friend Paulie came and made her happy. I like Paulie. He has really shinny shorts, and he always gives me tic tacs even though Mommy says I’m not allowed. One time, I asked him if I could play with his guitar.

Then I said, “Paulie, do I play guitar real goodly?”

Then he said, “Sure LB, you’re totally wizard.” Only he kept looking at Juno and not at me playing his guitar.

I just remembered another time where Juno was bad, only Mommy and Daddy weren’t there to see. Paulie wasn’t there either. Juno says he won’t come to play anymore. That’s sad. She was drinking this big blue drink when she said it. It looked really yucky, because I don’t think blue is yummy. Then Juno didn’t look so good. I think her tummy hurt, cause she throwed up in Mommy’s funny plant.

“Don’t tell anyone, okay LB?” Juno said.

I told her okay, and I didn’t even tell Mommy. I still said to Juno she should go to the doctor, cause when your tummy hurts you go to the doctor and he makes you all better. Juno said she will think about it.

Even though I never said anything, Mommy finded out anyways. She called the blue stuff in the funny plant a bad word, but then she remembered how I’m not supposed to say bad words. Juno was a liar, and she said she didn’t do it. I don’t care that Juno’s a liar. Her room has lots of cool stuff, and she lets me touch it sometimes. She calls me wizard like her friend Paulie. Even though I don’t know what’s a wizard, I think it’s nice. I like Juno.

Now it is lots of days after Daddy said I have a monkey butt. I told him is was not nice to say, just like my teacher told me when I said it to Tommy. Juno is really fat now. She used to be really skinny. Even though she’s fat now, she still looks pretty. Mommy said there’s a baby in Juno’s tummy when I asked why Juno’s fat. I didn’t know how a baby gets in your tummy, unless you eat it. I don’t think Juno would eat babies, but I said okay.

I remembered how when my friends’ mommies had babies in their tummy, then after they had a little brother or sister. I don’t want Juno to have a baby, because babies are icky and smelly and gross. I guess I could still play with the baby after it grows up. One day when Juno’s really fatter than normal, I ask her if I could play with the baby when it’s born. Then Juno cried. Juno doesn’t cry cause she’s too cool. I think maybe I said something bad.

Now it’s time for my ballet lesson. I put on my sparkly pink tutu all by myself this time. Daddy always says I look like a little princess in my tutu. I like to do ballet since I twirl around, and look at the shiny pink, and pretend like I’m a princess. Right before Daddy’s supposed to drive me to class; he says the baby’s coming. I’m really excited. I want the baby to come live in our house, even though I don’t know where it’s coming from.

Mommy and Daddy and Juno run out the door and go to the car. I thought Paulie was supposed to go with them. Paulie never comes to our house any more. I miss when he plays with me, and I think Juno also misses Paulie. They aren’t bringing me to the car too. Why are they leaving me all alone? But then Daddy comes back, picks me up, and puts me in the car. Too bad I can’t go to ballet today, but I can play pretty princess at the hospital.

We get to the hospital, and stay there for like a million hours. Then Mommy came out and said the baby came. She wanted to see the baby, but Mommy said no, and that the baby had to go home with its mommy Vanessa. I didn’t get it. I thought Juno was the mommy and I could play with the baby whenever I wanted.

I sat there and was really really really confused until we went home. When we went home, Paulie came with us. I think that made Juno real happy. She likes Paulie a lot. I just don’t want them to be like Mommy and Daddy with the yucky kissy face all the time. Doesn’t she know boys have cooties? Maybe if Paulie comes home with us, he’ll give me more orange tic tacs.

Even though the baby didn’t go home with them, Juno was still a really cool big sisters. She lets me put all the Bac-O on my potatoes that I want, and one time she let me call my friend on her funny hamburger phone. Mostly I love her cause she’s my Juno, and I’m her LB, and that will always be the same.