Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to Rumiko Takahashi, not I. Some characters are from my imagination, but not many. Do not use this story without my permission.

And so it was that Kalu did end up blaming Ataru and Lum. She wrote a scathing auto-biographical article that every major galactic journal published and pushed across the cosmos. Needless to say, the public opinion of Lum had changed from the innocent daddy's girl she really was to a malevolent warlord who had a totally dysfunctional love life. Either definition would have been accepted by her closest friends if they had read the article, but the entire story of the daring rescue and the fiendish plot of a girl more than once scorned was too obscene and stupid for them to accept.

Upon the return of the team to Earth, Sakura forced an oath out of them. “This will never be repeated, and all the blame lies with Lum. Understand?” As unwilling as some were about it, they all agreed. Ataru didn't bother blaming her, however, as he knew what taking the endless blame really felt like and he knew that she must have been feeling the sting already. The parents had their questions to be sure, as did the local police force, but the answer that each group got when interrogating anyone was

“We went on a trip with Lum.” Thusly, the Moroboshi house was prosecuted by many people and kept under continuous monitoring by Mendo's father's secret police force. Such spontaneous actions on his son's part had sullied his good name on Earth. Now we pick back up into the normal swing of things at the Mendo manner, where a date has been forcibly arranged between the young master and Asuka.

“So” Mendo began, “how are things at your compound?”

“Big Brother went away to train” Asuka said, “so I've had no one to practice my 'kissing' with. Do you suppose we can practice today, Big Brother Shutaro?”

“If all goes well” Mendo smoothly began, “I'm sure I can assist you.” Asuka smiled sweetly and poured her brother some tea. It was mostly made of the mortar and pestle she used to grind it, but he smiled and gulped it back anyway. After the ordeal in space, Mendo's iron will could stand nearly anything. Except whenever he unblocked the images of Lum and Ataru willingly kissing he blacked out for long periods of time.

“Psst, Master” Shingo whispered from under the table. “Do you wish to hear my latest report? Miss Asuka's panties are-” and a kick silenced and knocked him out. Mendo smiled at Asuka and she smiled shyly back. Ryoko stood outside the room the privately occupied trying to catch a glimpse of the action from between two men in black glasses with no results.

Things had changed for Ryuunosuke and Nagisa as well. Nagisa felt that they had grown closer and bonded as a result of the harrowing trials, but Ryuunosuke learned something different. She learned that she would never come back home without a piece of alien technology under her clothes so she could at least stand her own against the endless tides of stupidity and madness within her own household. She was the top dog now, at least as long as she wore her suits.

Shinobu and Inaba spent more and more time together since they got back and enjoyed each other's company much, much more. Inaba was even able to work out a deal to ditch his bunny suit in favor of his bunny boxers and dress down like a normal person to go out with Shinobu whenever they pleased.

“I'm really glad” Shinobu said “that they let you keep your underwear.”

“I'm not” Inaba said. “You don't understand, Shinobu. Girls don't have elastic briefs. These things are torture to me!”

“Well what did you used to wear?” Shinobu asked. Inaba blinked at her, then focused back to the street they walked down. Shinobu decided that question was best left unanswered. “Hey, whatever happened to that Luko guy?”

“We sent him into subspace” Inaba replied. “He's probably fine...although, maybe he isn't.” Inaba, out of wild curiosity, opened the an air door into subspace just a crack and peeked in. Luko burst out and landed ever so gracefully with not a single hair out of place on his head.

“Lo, and behold!” Luko began. “I walk the world again! You nefarious knaves have locked me up for quite a while, but it was a folly I say! In the time you left me to die I have become stronger! My dialect has gained a much more righteous and solid tone! Hark, come and fight me now!”

“Ignore him” Inaba warned. “Ignore him and walk.”

“Right” Shinobu said. Luko soon found out he was prosing to the air and he sighed a casual sigh of graceful defeat.

“Ah to be young” he began, pulling out and equipping his mask, “and in love! Tis the spring of merry weather and wondrous romance!” Although, it is really summer.

Ran hasn't given up on Rei. If one were to ask her, she would reply that she never will. Instead of planning dates that never seem to work out, she simply established a quick and easy teleportation method that connects their houses via a closet tunnel. Now, anytime she wants to stop by or invite him over, she just has to pop her head in and call for him with sweets in her hands. So, yes, she is starting to train the wild beast that is Rei, but who knows if it is really working out?

Sakura and Tsubame have started discussing a date for their wedding. Cherry wants to arrange for a caterer and Sakura's mother wants to help arrange the guest list. Both young lovers decided that no one but themselves would be involved with the wedding and, if possible, they would elope. The only one allowed to enter on their marital discussions is Kotatsuneko, and he is has been trusted with bouncing at the wedding to prevent, above everyone else, Moroboshi from screwing it up.

Benten and Oyuki have been keeping much more regular contact with their friends across the cosmos and Benten regularly flies down to visit her friends on Earth. She even offers in the odd occasion to babysit Ten while Lum drags Ataru on a date. Oyuki even got a new source of labor out of the whole adventure.

“Why are these lizards so obedient?” a Neptunian woman asked as she observed the huge flock of militia lizards carrying on with their duties of shoveling snow outside. They each had their own little coat and shovel to help, and more work was getting done than ever before in the snow fields.

“It seems” Oyuki said with certainty, “these lizards have a basic level of sentience. They even believe in divine possibilities, all because of Kalu.”

“Ma'am?” the woman asked her princess.

“Kalu had hatred for Lum and Moroboshi” Oyuki explained “that she vented by abusing her animals. Whenever the lizards saw her curse and rant at the pictures of Lum and Moroboshi in the news and magazines, they believed those two had some form of dominance over their cruel overlord.”

“So” the woman summarized, “they worship Moroboshi because Kalu was mad at his picture?”

“Yes” Oyuki said. She took a sip of tea and glanced out the window to check the lizard's progress. They had successfully shoveled out the outline for Ataru's face giving his prolific goofy smile. The waiting woman who poured Oyuki's tea looked out, reviewed the facts in her head, and came to a conclusion.

“That's moronic” she said.

“No one ever said creatures had to be intelligent to be useful” Oyuki said.

And what of those two miscreants? Those devilish youths whom we all love so very much? They've never been better. Or worse. In truth, not much has changed for them at all.

“Say Darling” Lum began. “Would you please consider something for me?”

“What is it?” Ataru asked, remembering to try and keep himself open to her romantic suggestions for once.

“It's getting close to bed time” Lum pointed out. “Do you think, just for this last time during the break, we can sleep next to each other?”

“Uhhh...” Ataru droned, unwilling to answer the biting question.

“I can just pull out an extra futon” Lum continued “and sleep next to yours. We won't really be in the same bed.”

“Well” Ataru started, “that isn't really the same thing, is it?”

“I don't really care” Lum said. “As long as I can wake up tomorrow and see your face before anything else, I'll be happy.” Ataru, who would have said no the second Lum would just start talking before their misadventure, thought about his reply for a moment before carefully wording his answer of

“No.”

“Why not!?” Lum whined. “I thought you would be more romantic when we got back! Honestly, you're insufferable!” Lum turned her back and floated with her arms and legs crossed in anger. Ataru took the opportunity to his advantage and disproved her in an uncharacteristic way. He quickly planted a kiss on her cheek, leaving her confused enough to stop flying and fall straight down, then went back to sitting as if it never happened. Lum looked over and a cute smiled built up on her face. She restrained the urge to tackle him enough to just crawl slowly over and place her hands on his.

“I love you, Darling” she said. Ataru smiled in response, but gave no worded answer. After all, he didn't need to, as he knew kissing her would be a much better response. Unfortunately, the Mendo men in black glasses stepped in and pulled them apart just before their lips touched.

“Sorry you two” the guard apologized. “Master Mendo has given us strict orders to make sure nothing happens while we're watching you.”

“Sucks to be you guys” Ten said. He started swimming through the air for the door and Ataru braced himself internally.

“You...” Lum growled. “You morons!” The air started smelling terribly like O-Zone and the guards felt a fear of death run through them. “You ruined the MOMENT!!! RAAAAAHG!!!” The sky around the Moroboshi house was filled with crackling blue and the screams of many. The neighbors complained and Ataru's parents shouted, but nothing harsh reached either of their ears. Ataru and Lum happily finished their moment before moving downstairs to sleep in the not on-fire living room for the night.

So yes, not much has changed since they returned. They still act like, and to a degree are, a married couple who can sicken and enthrall nearly anyone who sees them. The entire experience for everyone can indeed be summed up by the loner who camped so deep into the mountains.

“Indeed” Tobimaro mused to himself and the night sky, “this is only the first of many journeys in my life. Surely hardships shall come my way, but those close to me will allow me to go soaring over them with the tenacity and strength of a flying dragon! No matter what, with those I love and love me at my side, anything can be accomplished!” With that creedo in mind, Tobimaro threw a baseball up into the air, unsheathed his spectacular size-adjustable Oni mace, and made a tremendous swing.

He missed, and the full weight of the bat came around in a follow-through swing that ended up smashing him in the face and knocking him out for the night. Yes, especially with Tobimaro, nothing much had changed...

That ends the ridiculous story of friendship, romance, wrath, and of course strangeness. Its' true, isn't it? For every person in the universe there is a star with their name on it, and just the same there is someone else looking at that star and wondering what could be. Everyone has someone.

Good night!