|On First and Second Kisses
Author: TeenySparks PM
They had shared their first kiss in Kazu's room, sprawled on the floor, half naked and drunk off of their asses. Ikki/KazuRated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Words: 1,708 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 1 - Published: 03-20-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4144364
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
They had shared their first kiss in Kazu's room, sprawled on the floor, half naked and drunk off of their asses. Neither Ikki nor Kazu could quite remember who had leaned in too close first, or who had made the first move, or who had tugged off the other's shirt first, but as far as they were concerned, 'who started it' wasn't important (the other had, after all, followed right along). What was important was that they had kissed, and as clumsy and uncomfortable and beer-flavored as it had been, it had happened, and it had to be covered up at all costs.
And so they swept the episode underneath the proverbial carpet. Mentioning the matter out loud to one another or to anyone else was entirely forbidden - they had spit shook on that, and both agreed that violating an agreement that had been spit-shaken on was punishable by death. And if things had ended there, then the kiss might have been entirely forgotten. But there had been a loop-hole built into their agreement. A loop-hole that didn't forbid discussion via the embarrassed glances that the two would exchange whenever the subject of "that thing" happened to cross their minds at the same instant. 'We were so fucking drunk', was what Ikki would say with a moment's eye contact and an uncomfortable shrug. Kazu would reply with a stare before breaking the gaze and looking down to examine something far more interesting, like the scuffs on his shoes or that one particularly long crack in the pavement. 'It's not like we're really...like that', he would say. They would both nod, and that was that.
Or at least, they would have liked to believe that was that.
Kazu would have liked to believe that nothing had changed between them. That they were still the same Ikki and Kazu, and that was the way things would be from now until forever. He was determined to hang on to everything they already had between them. After all, their friendship, as far as he was concerned, was more than enough. It was special. It was time-tested. It was safe. And he was doing his damndest to ignore the strange new feelings that would make him blush, make the tips of his fingers tingle every time they accidentally brushed hands in the hallway or kicked one another from underneath the ramen shop counter.
And Ikki would have liked to believe that he hadn't begun to notice things. Like the growing urge to pull Kazu into an embrace instead of a headlock during their usual scuffles. Like the way Ikki found that he secretly enjoyed those rare moments where Kazu would tug his hat off, sigh quietly to himself, and run his fingers through that blonde hair of his. Kazu's hair was nice, Ikki would think. Probably soft, too, and Ikki only wished he could will away those moments where he would have to resist the urge to knock that damned hat off and ruffle Kazu's hair, just to see if it was as soft as it looked. Just to have another excuse to touch him.
But wishing away reactions that had become so fucking automatic, they discovered, wasn't just a matter of looking away from one another to hide the identical flushes of red that would sometimes color their cheeks. Much to their surprise, they found the more they looked away, the more they silently reassured one another that there wasn't a homo bone in their body, the more those feelings would grow. And slowly, ever so slowly, their resistances were worn away, until each boy found himself waiting, hoping for a moment that would allow them to bump into one another, to hold on, to touch. It began with little things. Not-so-accidental kicks from underneath the ramen shop counter. Wrestling holds that would, conveniently, draw their bodies closer together. Spur of the moment shoving matches where they would let their hands linger on one another's chests for just an extra moment or two. It became a game to them -- one that slowly nudged them slowly towards that line that separated friendship from something more intimate than that.
Somewhere in the back of both their minds, they knew that one day they'd turn and find that they'd taken a few steps too many over that line.
That realization came on a summer evening, when the thing Kazu was focused on was the road ahead of him -- the road he was following Ikki down as they dashed down side streets and back alleys, weaving their way through the city blocks. They had no real destination, or at least, none that Ikki had communicated, and Kazu had the slight inkling that maybe, possibly he should be worried about becoming lost. Should, of course, being the operative word. But he found little need for worry when he could feel the wind whip against his face instead, feel the thrill of the run, feel that sense of freedom, of flight that he had grown to adore.
"Oi oi oi!"
Kazu looked up as Ikki shouted and took a leap, planting one foot firmly onto the rim of a dumpster and pushing off, leaning forward just enough to send him somersaulting forward. He landed easily, losing no momentum, and gave Kazu an over the shoulder smirk as he bolted on ahead, a split-second dare to repeat the trick.
A dare was a dare and, having little desire to be the chicken, Kazu gathered his resolve and braced himself before jumping, just as he had seen Ikki do. There was the clank of metal beneath his wheels and a moment's opportunity to plot his next motions before he pushed off.
His stomach sank as he leaned into the jump and felt his body rotate. The motion hadn't been as effortless as Ikki had made it look, and suddenly thoughts like "Why the hell was I thinking?" and "You'll crack your fucking skull!" were whirring through Kazu's head. And oh god what would Ikki do when he heard the thud, or saw the blood on the pavement, and would he ever--
The hard, familiar clack of his wheels on the pavement as he landed provided him with a moment's respite. But the landing had been clumsy, sending Kazu stumbling, struggling to regain his balance as he tumbled forward into Ikki. There was a startled squawk from Ikki, a hissed swear from Kazu, and they both fell, the combined momentum sending them skidding across the asphalt in a tangle of limbs.
As the shock from the fall subsided, for a very precious moment all they could feel was the dull pulses in one another's fingertips.
Kazu could feel the urge to run rising in his gut. He had to get away somehow, had to hide, just so Ikki couldn't look at him after a fall like that. It had been a simple trick, painfully simple, even, and he still couldn't do it, still was zillions of light years behind, still weak, still undependable, and how could he face Ikki after--
He curled his fingers, pressing them closer into Ikki's, and maybe, maybe facing his friend wouldn't be so bad if they had this new excuse to--
"Nice landing." Kazu looked down and there was Ikki, sprawled beneath him, grinning a familiar, cheeky grin.
Kazu's immediate reaction was to take in a deep breath, sit himself up, and give his friend a solid knock to the head. "Yeah? And you've fallen how many times?"
The blow was returned in kind. "Like, zero."
"I'll give you bullshit!" Ikki lost no time in getting to his feet and putting his friend into an impressive headlock, and Kazu was just as quick to give him a retaliatory elbow to the side.
"What are yo-- Get off!"
"You defied Ikki-sama's genius!"
"You mean I called Ikki-sama's bullshit?"
"That's punishable by death, Kazu!"
Knuckles were ground playfully into Kazu's head, knocking his hat to the ground, and in retaliation he struggled, kicking at Ikki's kneecaps, gripping at his friend's arms in a vain attempt to pry himself loose. But instead of escape, Kazu found himself shoved roughly by the shoulders into the side of the dumpster with a sudden, metallic clang.
"c'mon, no fair cornering..!" He put a hand against Ikki's chest, tried to give a shove, and found, to his horror that, his hand didn't want Ikki to go anywhere any time soon. Kazu flushed, wanted to pull back, but found himself all together unable to move, unable to break the awkward silence that had suddenly struck the both of them.
And Ikki was looking at him, studying him or something equally as unsettling for God knows how long, and just as Kazu's thoughts turned towards escape, Ikki grabbed his wrist and broke the silence with an uncomfortable laugh.
"'s totally fair."
Kazu had no words, and instead shot Ikki what was supposed to be a glare, then leaned in, just to make sure the disapproval in his expression was not missed. Ikki, unwilling to concede to a simple glare, smirked defiantly in return.
But it didn't take long for the closeness to dissolve the petulance in their expressions. Kazu could feel Ikki's grip on his wrist tighten. Ikki could feel Kazu's pulse quicken, and all at once they realized that this was their chance to take their little game to the next level. Kazu leaned in closer, just enough to let his lips brush lightly against Ikki's, a motion to test the waters, to make sure that neither of them would be backing down.
Ikki glanced at Kazu, embarrassed. 'It's not like you'll tell.'
'Yeah...not like anyone really needs to know.'
They gave one another a small nod of agreement before they leaned in and kissed. And as clumsy, frightened, and hesitant as it was, they came to agree that it had been far better than their first.