Author: Kichou PM
It's not his fault. SasuNaru. Twoshot. Not for Sakura fans.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Sasuke U. & Naruto U. - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,008 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 12-06-08 - Published: 03-21-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4145977
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I do not own Naruto nor will I ever…I do wish that I did though. No profit is made from this story.
There will probably be some grammar mistakes in my story so don't hate me for it, please.
Sakura is hanging all over me again. She's tugging me around showing me off to the girls of the village. They glare at her hatefully. She doesn't notice this or maybe she is ignoring it. She smiles and giggles and hugs me tight. I feel bile rising up my throat.
She sickens me.
She acts so cheerful, so happy, yet I can only feel disgust for both myself and for her and I'm going to bet that everyone else feels loathing for us as well. I do not blame them.
I sicken me as well.
This "relationship" I have with her means nothing to me, but it is quite obvious that it means the world to her. She loves me. She adores me. She worships me, yet I can only feel revulsion towards her, this woman with no heart.
We are a match made in heaven, aren't we?
Heartless, the both of us are heartless. I know this, but I believe that Sakura believes otherwise. Everyone else sees it, but her. She lives in her fantasy world and I do nothing to break it. I don't care that she is setting herself up for heartbreak. I don't care at all.
There is only one person who I care for.
Naruto, I wonder what he is doing right now. Is he watching television on his couch, is he training, is he hanging out with Gaara in Suna again? It must be the later. Those two are...close. I haven't seen him lately since the wedding four months ago. He seems to disappear lately. Is he seeing someone else?
Did he already forget about me?
I feel nauseated again.
My stomach hasn't been the same since the day I propose to Sakura. No, that's not right. It hasn't been the same since the break up. I'm not going to pretend that I don't know why my body is twisted. I know for a fact that I'm in love with Naruto. I always have been and I always will be. He probably doesn't love me anymore because of what I did.
I'm a bastard, I know.
The cold truth is that even though I love him, he couldn't provide for me what I needed. He couldn't give me children. Sakura could though. Sakura, a girl with strength and intelligence, she would give me strong offspring.
I wonder if they would be strong emotionally.
She's pregnant now, a few months pregnant actually. I can't feel happy about it though. I should be, shouldn't I? I gave up my happiness for this. I gave up my most precious person for this.
I gave up everything.
I can't feel anything at all. This child, this boy, will he end up hating me. Will he hate me for allowing him to grow in a home where everything is fake? It would be silent, I know. Our household would be filled with fake emotions, fake love, and fake life. Nothing would be real.
Sakura will continue to live in her fantasy world; while I continue to ponder what the hell I was thinking marrying her in the first place.
Will this kid end up being another Itachi?
I feel nothing now. My heart I left with Naruto. Whether he knows it or not, I will never know.
…I love him.
I regret so little in my life. My one regret is losing you, Naruto. My selfish ways always screw me over, yet I never learn from it. I had to lose you first before I knew I couldn't live without you. Will I turn out to be a harder version of my emotionless father? Will I end up being such a bastard that no one cares if I pass on?
Will I always be surrounded in darkness?
I want you back. I'm selfish, we knew this. I want the best of both worlds. I want happiness. I want you by my side. Will you come to me?
Do you know, Naruto? Do you know that I love you?
I know that it can never be. My betrayal to you did so much damage didn't it? The sad part of the matter is that it wasn't my first betrayal to you. I continue to betray you and you continue to forgive me. I know this would be my last betrayal to you. Even the most forgiving person has their limit.
One day, I hope you forgive me…love.
My life from now on will be hell, I know this. I have no one to blame but myself. Love will never be a part of my life any longer. I hate myself. I hate everything, but I don't hate you, never you.
You gave me so much, and I gave so little. My punishment for all my sins towards you will be a life full of emptiness. It's my fault that everything turned out this way, so I will continue to live this awful life until the time comes for me to go.
It's my fault, not yours Naruto that life turn out this way. It is always my fault.
It's my fault…it's my fault.
Well, not a lot of romance in this story. Mostly angst. Sorry about that, but I felt that it was what Sasuke deserve for hurting Naru-chan like that. Bad Sasuke!
As for Naruto, I left it to where you yourself decide if he moved on or not. Did he visit Gaara as a friend or is it something more? Did Naruto learn how to love again? I'll let all of you decide that for yourself. Anyway, thanks for reading.
Review please. Be kind.