Date Written: March 21, 2008

Summary: Growing tired of Fei-Wang‘s spell on Clow, the Tsubasa group decide to screw everything and let out some pint up frustration.

Flo: I’ve basically got a LOT of chapters and crap started, but this… I needed to let some major crack out. Have fun.

WARNINGS! HUGE spoilers for 184 and on! DO NOT read unless you don’t care about spoilers, already have read the chapters, or are on medication. Okay? Okay.

Hope you enjoy!

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Two. Freaking. Weeks.

That was how long Syaoran, Fay, Kurogane, and Mokona had been putting up with that damned time loop thing that that ass chin (Fay had informed then of the man’s horrid deformity (“Really, it was difficult paying attention to him, his chin was so huge and ugly”)) had put them in. Screw the rest of the county, they weren’t aware that they were doing the same thing every day for Fei-Wang knew how long. Not to mention how boring it all was! That kid tripping with the apples was cute at first, but there was only so many times you wanted someone to nearly fall on you (unless they were hot and Syaoran was not a pedophile).

It was day fifteen of this stupid plot that the four walked out into the streets to see, yet again, a boringly happy market bustling with people. Everyone was smiling and laughing. All the booths looked wonderful and the food delicious. There was the bird that flew overhead a while back. Then that was followed by a girl running by with toast in her mouth and, oh look! It’s that kid with the apples! It looks like he’s going to fall again.

Syaoran stepped to the side and let him fall flat on his face, the apples tumbling everywhere.

The market suddenly stopped.

A large group gasp was voiced.

“Hey, why didn’t you help that poor boy?” someone asked, still too friendly to be human (honestly, why were they so freakin’ happy?!).

“Yeah,” someone else chimed in. “You were right there, you could have caught him and saved all of those apples!”

“You know what I think of apples?” Syaoran slowly said.

“No,” the entire market replied.

Syaoran immediately stomped on one apple, smashing it into oblivion and all over the boy’s face, who was close to tears now. “I hate apples and stupid kids who carry too many to begin with and their mother’s who let them! And I stomp on these apples and pray to the gods of fruit to burn them in a state of pure hatred!”

“Yeah!” Mokona agreed, hopping toward a large cart of, yes, more apples and sucked them into her mouth. Once swallowed, she said, “Mokona is sick of this, too! Mokona needs action! Mokona is ready to rumble! Bring it on!”

As Mokona and Syaoran continued on their rampage to the townsfolk’s horror, Fay muttered, “Hm, it seems that those two spent too much time with Kuro-Daddy in Infinity.”

“Yeah?” Kurogane growled. “Well, I don’t blame them! I‘m freakin‘ sick of this damn place and everyone in it! It‘s boring as hell and if I don‘t get a chance to screw your brains out in the next five minutes, I‘m gonna explode!”

“Why didn’t you drive me into the bed in Nihon, then? One arm sex sounded kinky.”

“Trust me, in a palace dominated by women who hang on Tomoyo‘s every word, that would have been a very bad idea.”

“So, Kuro-tan was raised by fangirls. Tell me, did they think you were teh smex?”

“… What?”

“Excuse me, but are you two with that boy?” a worried civilian asked, a trickle of blood making it’s way down his forehead.

“Yes, damnit!” Kurogane supplied. “Yes, that kid belongs to us, he’s in our stupid little traveling group, our clothes are weird because we’re not from here, and we need a place to stay, okay?! Quit asking me that!”

“Um, o-okay, but shouldn’t you two do something about him and his pet?!” Glancing over to where the man pointed, Fay and Kurogane saw that Syaoran was kicking a pineapple into submission while Mokona was driving a cart into a nearby tree. “They’re ruining our preparations for the festival to be held at those ruins over there. Do you see them? They’re right there, over those sand dunes and-”

The man would have continued if Kurogane hadn’t punched him in the jaw.

“Was that really necessary?” Fay commented.

“Yes!” Kurogane shouted. “The kid and meat bun have a good idea here! If I can’t release my pint up frustration by pile driving you, then I’m gonna let it out violently!”

At that, Kurogane’s sword was taken out and with a loud battle cry, he joined in on the Hun-like pillage of the market, Syaoran and Mokona cheering him on. What a family affair! There’s nothing like completely demolishing a market with your son. It really brought them all that much closer!

But like all family affairs, there were family affair destroyers nearby, waiting to pounce and ruin their fun.

“You three!” someone shouted above the crowd. “By the power of the armed forces of Clow, I command you to halt in your actions and return quietly to your dwelling at once!”

“Screw you!” Kurogane shouted back. “There’s no way in hell you idiots are going to take me to jail unless you have a death wish!”

“Sir, we have no intention of sending you anywhere. We merely ask that you please stop this needless destruction and cooperate peacefully.”

“What the hell? We’re destroying your city and you aren’t going to throw us into the dungeon or something?!”

“Well, what you’re doing isn’t technically against the law.”

“Come again?” Syaoran asked.

“While destruction of housing is illegal, destruction of market is not. We’ve never actually had it happen so there was no need for a law to be issued, really. King Touya has expressed interest in the subject, but the council members claim that by passing such a law it would result in the actual committing of the crime due to-”

As the guard continued to drone on about the technicalities and such, Kurogane exchanged a look of pure “screw it” with Syaoran and Mokona and went right back to hell raising.

Meanwhile, Fay stood alone off to the side, pondering the entire situation. It was very tempting to go on a violent rampage. Exercise was a good stress relief and they definitely needed to do something to feel better. As Kurogane previously stated, sex was currently difficult (Fei-Wang truly was evil!) and none of them had the patience for something like basket weaving. Besides, they were in a time loop! Everything would be repaired and nobody would remember all of this the next day. Hell, they weren’t even going to be punished for it from what Fay heard the guard tell the others!

At that thought, a plan came to play into Fay’s mind.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” he said to a lady hiding under a basket. “But what does it take to get thrown in jail around here?”

The lady peaked out from her safe spot to quickly, yet politely, answer, “W-Well, the main laws that do that and not just fine you are stealing, beating another person, killing, and public indecency… is that all?”

“Yes, thank you very much! Have a nice day!”

This would be easy as pie.

Fay cautiously moved towards where Kurogane was happily chopping up a cart of gazpacho, while letting his jacket slip off. Tapping him on the shoulders, Fay was quickly met with a pair of blazing red eyes and a hissed, “What?!”

“Kuro-rin,” Fay whined. “It’s really hot here!”

“No shit, now either join me or get lost! I’m busy!”

Pouting, Fay continued onward. “But I’m starting to get really sweaty, Kuro-puu! I don’t know what to do!”

“Well, go inside or something! Geez, it’s own fault for wearing such heavy clothes.”

“Oh, Kuro-tan is so smart!”

“Heh?”

Before Kurogane was able to properly figure out what on earth Fay was talking about (though he wouldn’t argue with it), his eyes nearly popped out of his skull.

Right in the middle of all the chaos, Fay appeared to be in the beginning of doing, to Kurogane’s immense delight, a strip tease. And was very good at it, too!

The gloves were already pulled off by his teeth and now Fay was making painfully slow work of the buckles on his jacket. With each buckle snapped off, the top slipped more and more off of his shoulders, revealing tantalizing milky skin until it was just hanging by Fay’s wrists. Once the last snap was removed, he twirled his fingers around near his unbearably low and tight pants, slipping in and moving along the waist band, yet not quite low enough. His other hand was moving up his body, gently caressing his skin as he would a lover. With closed eyes, Fay threw his head back and let out a small whimper as the hand came up and into his mouth for him to suck on and why the hell was Kurogane just standing there?!

That thought in place, Kurogane pounced on Fay in zero point two seconds tops.

However, so had the guards.

UuUuUuUuUuUuUuU

Half an hour, sixteen bloodied guards members, twelve dozen destroyed barrels of produce, two smashed carts, one muzzled meat bun, one seriously pissed of kid, one horny ninja, and one half naked jail bait blonde later, the group found themselves in prison cell after the destruction of property had changed to a strip show, then to an all out brawl, thus making it a charge of violence towards others.

“What the hell was that?” Kurogane asked Fay.

“My plan to get us closer to our goal,” Fay proudly stated.

That perked Syaoran out of his grumpy state. “Really?!” he asked.

“Yup! You see, I figured if we got arrested, then we’d be sent to the prison which I assumed was near the castle, which is closer to the ruins and out of public. Now when the loop starts back up tomorrow, the guards will come by, not remember us, and then let us out, apologizing profusely for the inconvenience. This will all be done as quickly as possible and make it so we are closer to our goal!”

Silence.

“Holy crap, that actually makes sense.”

And so, the many different worlds and Sakura were soon saved from destruction, all thanks to Fay’s strip show.

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REASON WHY YOU GOT TWO ALERTS! (maybe): I had to delete if for five second and fix an error. I had said "day seven" when the first sentence said that two weeks had gone by. SORRY! But an error that big would have driven me NUTS. More.

A/N: This was written when chapter 184 was still recent, so, yes, I DO know what they did (no very action packed, but it makes sense). I got the idea from Qatari-sama at msn when he stated that he would have let the kid trip and some other rather violent stuff about that time loop.

Oh, and I AM WORKING ON OTHER CHAPTERS IN MY OTHER SERIES, SO DON’T FRET! One of my actual stories should be updated soon, I hope. Also, if you review this then please don’t ask/tell me to update “Let’s Scar Syaoran!” I’m getting to that. Thank you!

You know what to do!

Please leave a review!

As always, CONSTUCTIVE criticism is welcomed with a “How To Strip,” video by Fay.