The return to Tokyo for the Senshi was largely uneventful - it wasn’t until they actually got back that things started to get interesting. “Why is he here?” Setsuna asked with a scowl.

Captain Jack Sparrow couldn’t resist a smirk, he’d known the green-haired woman for quite some time (if only because one would have a difficult time finding two immortals who hadn’t met up at some point in the past), but he’d never suspected that she was some sort of superhero. “Oh, come on, Susannah, is that any way to treat your newly reformed ally?”

“One, it’s Setsuna. Two, you aren’t an ‘ally,’ you’re Jack-goddamn-Sparrow. And three, stop touching my things!” Setsuna was most definitely not happy that the Senshi had teleported him into her home; she’d acquired quite a few valuables over the centuries, and she was quite keen on keeping them. Of course, this did absolutely nothing to stop the buccaneer, but shouting did provide a moment of cathartic release, which Setsuna really needed by this point. “Anyway, Konatsu - where is he?”

“She,” Ranma corrected bluntly. “Looks like when a male transforms into a female Senshi, it’s permanent.” The logical corollary to this statement (i.e., that there was no longer any chance that Ranma would try something like this himself) remained unspoken - mostly because it was rather obvious. “She’s off tryin’ ta deal with the fact that she don’t have no chance with Ucchan anymore. At least, not unless Ucchan suddenly turned bi in the last few hours.”

“I… don’t think she had time for anything that,” Setsuna said as diplomatically as she could. “She was rather... preoccupied.”

“Why doesn’t that sound good?” Usagi asked.

“Because it isn’t. That’s why I want to talk to Konatsu. Do you know where he - sorry, she went?”

“I think she said she was headin’ back ta the restaurant.”

“Oh, dear…”

It had been an eventful day for Konatsu: if claiming her place as a superheroine wasn’t enough, she had also become an honest-to-goodness she. And even though she’d spent most of her life training to perform an amazingly believable female impersonation, coming to grips with an actual change in her anatomy was something she’d never dreamed of needing to prepare for. Even though she had never thought of herself as being transgendered before her change (and was thus technically transgendered now), she’d already decided against any sort of surgical procedures to correct the “problem.” Aside from the fact that she didn’t have anywhere near the money for it, there was also the fact that transforming into Sailor Aries would undo any such procedure, and as far as she was concerned, her new duties as a Senshi overruled any personal inconvenience. Besides, Konatsu had been dealing with misfortune her entire life; this was hardly more distressing than any other turn of events in her life, after all.

In any case, what Konatsu needed at the moment was a chance to rest and reflect on the situation, which was why she’d headed to Ucchan’s almost immediately upon returning from the Flying Dutchman. She loved the restaurant almost as much as she did its namesake; it was the first building that she could call a home in any meaningful sense of the word. Thus it was somewhat distressing for her to return home not to a bustling restaurant, but to a pile of rubble in the lot where it was supposed to be standing, with the only other person present being the proprietor.

“Oh no!” Konatsu rushed over to the figure of her boss, who was seated on a miraculously intact chair, staring at the wreckage. “Are you alright, Ukyo-sama?!”

Noting the ever-so-slightly higher pitch of her friend’s voice, Ukyo sighed and smiled sadly to herself, as though she’d just had a nagging, groundless suspicion confirmed. “I’m fine, Konatsu. You got the amulet, I take it?”

Konatsu wasn’t quite sure what to make of that statement. “Yes, though it wasn’t easy.” She quickly turned the focus of the conversation back to the most obvious issue: “Ukyo-sama… what happened?”

“Your evil stepfamily happened, that’s what.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It seems that their attempts to restart their tea-house haven’t exactly gone according to plan. You see, for some unknown reason, what potential customers they can find haven’t been staying around long enough to actually pay for their services.”

“Well, I’m not certain, but I think the fact that all three are tremendously ugly has something to do with that.”

Ukyo sighed. “Yes, Konatsu, I know. When I said ‘unknown reason,’ I meant unknown to them.”

“Oh. That does make a bit more sense.”

“In any case, the only change that they noticed was that they no longer had you to boss around and work to the bone. So... they came back to get you.”

“And destroyed your restaurant?”

“Well, technically speaking, they didn’t come here with that idea... they just ripped the place to shreds looking for your hiding space.”

“But I wasn’t even here!”

“That’s what I told them.”

“And?”

“And they said that’s exactly what I would say if I was trying to hide you.”

Konatsu slumped down next to a splintered table. “Great… it was bad enough when it was just me who was unlucky… now I’m hurting my friends - oof!”

Ukyo reattached her baker’s peel to its spot on her bandolier, leaving a small bump on her kunoichi’s head. “Knock it off, Konatsu. I have enough things bothering me without you wallowing in self-pity.”

“But, Ukyo-sama, this is because I used the amulet...”

“And definitely don’t give me any nonsense about how you shouldn’t have used your abilities. The Senshi’s cause is certainly worth dealing with temporary setbacks like this.”

“But... how can you run a restaurant without a building?”

“I did have insurance on the place, Konatsu - it’s practically a necessity around here, what with all the property damage. I’ll be able to rebuild, if I have to.”

“If you have to?”

“Yeah… the Amazons have actually offered to sublet space in the Nekohanten so I can keep Ucchan’s in business.”

“But aren’t they the primary competition for your market share?”

“Well, yes, but there’s one very obvious overriding factor.”

“And that is?”

“Shampoo and I are both Senshi, and that sort of takes precedence.”

“I don’t understand… I thought for certain that the side effects of my powers would make the whole situation just awful.”

“They did - after all, my restaurant’s been demolished, and that’s never good. But you’re forgetting that I’m the Senshi of Balance. Things tend to even out for me in the long haul.”

“Oh...” It seemed to make sense - with the exception of a particularly glaring fault: “Wait a minute; Shampoo was on the ship with me. How could the other Amazons have known about the Senshi?”

“The same way you knew. There was no way Shampoo could keep a secret like that from Cologne. Up to this point, she’d just been waiting for Shampoo to actually tell her what she already knew before offering to give us any direct help. Fortunately, it seems that the Senshi play a pretty major part of Amazon lore, and she felt obliged to help me out.”

“That’s wonderful! I’m so happy you’ve managed to find a way to thwart my... misfortune. So… where will I be staying?”

“What kind of question is that? Of course you’re going to stay with me - unless you’d rather go back to your stepfamily’s teahouse, that is.”

“But I’m a jinx.”

“You’re a Senshi, and you’re my friend. All the bad luck in the world wouldn’t stop me from helping you.”

Konatsu’s eyes began to water as the implications of that statement sank in. “Thank you, Ukyo-sama.”

“Don’t worry about it. So, now that my 800-pound gorilla’s been taken care of, what about yours?”

“Excuse me?”

“Come on, Konatsu, you we’re always good at playing the girl, but never this good. The amulet turned you into a real girl, didn’t it?”

“Yes, it did.” The kunoichi sighed again. “There goes any shot at a normal romantic life.”

“What are you talking about? Before, people thought you were a straight man pretending to be a lesbian, but now you actually are a lesbian. That sounds more normal to me.”

“You think so?”

“You bet I do.” Ukyo put her arm around Konatsu. “Don’t worry; someday, you’ll find the girl of your dreams.”

“Ukyo-sama…”

The chef blushed as she realized her error. “Oh, right. I’m the girl of your dreams. Well, I’m sure there are others out there, and some of them have to at least be bi, right?”

“I guess…”

“Like I said: Don’t worry. Things will work themselves out.”

“I certainly hope so, Ukyo-sama.”

“C’mon,” the chef said. “I still need to find some paperwork in what’s left of my office.”