(NO TWILIGHT STARS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF THIS STORY…. Well… not PHYSICALLY anyway…. COUGH!)

Entry 1: Bubblewrapped

(Objective: Robert Pattinson)

“Are you ready?” Courtney whispered into Meg’s ear as they stood outside the hotel restaurant doors.

“As ready as I’ll ever be! Let’s do this.”

Courtney backed the dolly up and rolled it through the open doors of the near empty restaurant then up to the table that contained one very handsome young copper-haired man. He looked up from his meal and his eyes widened with a keen interest.

“What in the bloody hell is this about?!” He asked with a concerned look in his face.

“Oh… I’m just taking precautionary measures that’s all.” Courtney said leaning against the dolly.

“From what, pray tell?”

“Her,” She said pointing at Meg. “She’s a bit clumsy when she gets nervous.”

“So… you decided to wrap her in bubble wrap and push her on a dolly…?”

Courtney simply nodded.

“I LOVE YOU BABY! And if it's quite all right, I need you baby, to fill the lonely nights…” Meg started to sing at the top of her lungs.

“Oh, aahahaha…” Courtney laughed maniacally, patting Meg on the head. “She just loves you sooooo much!” Robert’s eyes widened this time with fear instead of concern. “ AND SO DO I!!” She growled as she lifted his wine bottle and hit him over the head with it. “QUICK MEG! OFF THE DOLLY!”

Megan hops off the dolly then falls over onto the ground with an “OOMPH! Courtney! A little help?!”

“Right sorry!” Courtney exclaimed, making sure Rob was steadily slumped over the table. She ran over and unrolled Megan from the bubble wrap and then helped her to stand. “Okay! Now help me!”

The girls worked together to pick Robert up from the table. “Sh!t! He is heavy.” Megan grunted as she took his feet.

“I know! Who knew?!” Courtney groaned as she took him under the shoulders.

They quickly laid him down on the unrolled bubble wrap and then worked to roll him up in it. Once they got him completely wrapped they hoisted him up and leaned him against the dolly.

“Okay! We got him! GO!” Megan called out as she looked around to make sure nobody was watching.

“Okay!” Courtney called out as she ran ahead holding Rob’s shoulder in one hand as she maneuvered him to the doors of the restaurant. Her triumphant giggle was suddenly cut short when a tall, muscular figure unknowingly stepped into her path. She pulled up short, grabbing the bubble wrapped man before he teetered onto the floor.

“Oh hell yes!!” Meg exclaimed as she ran backwards past Courtney, not realizing that she had come to a halt. She was suddenly thrown off balance as she backed into something solid. She bounced off and turned around. “Oh…. Heeey…”

Courtney quickly darted in front of Robert’s body as she realized it was Kellan. “Hey… you…” She said nervously.

“Good evening ladies.” Kellan said with pure curiosity in his eyes. He caught sight of an odd figure being obscured from his view by the fidgety females in front of him.

Meg took a couple of steps back. “Hey…”

“Uh… what you got there?” He asked trying, very easily for his tall stature, to peer over their heads.

“Um… uh…” Courtney muttered, jumping up in front of his face, waving her arms frantically. “YOOOOU DIIIDN’T SEEEE ANNNYYYYTHIIIIINGG!! RUN MEG! GO! GO! GO!”

Meg quickly grabbed a hold of the dolly and made a run for the revolving doors, but a misstep caused her to careen into the glass pane of the hotel, just beside the doors.

Courtney and Kellan stared in shock as Meg, the dolly, and the bubble wrapped boy bounced off the glass and onto the floor. “WTF MEG?! DO I NEED TO RE-WRAP YOU?!” Courtney called as Meg looked up from the ground.

“Wha…” Kellan started as he turned back to face Courtney. But her hand across his face stopped his words short.

Courtney’s face fell in a look of shock. “OH MY GOD!” She exclaimed. “I am so sorry!” She turned to run off, but quickly turned back and planted a kiss right on Kellan’s still shocked face. Then sprinted off to help Meg steady herself and put Rob back on the dolly.

“OKAY! LET’S BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND!” Meg called out with a laugh as they tried to steady him.

“Oh my God!” Courtney laughed. “Did you HONESTLY just say that?”

“Yes I did!” Meg laughed.

“HAHA! OKAY! OKAY! LET'S SKIDDADDLE!”

The girls tripped over the carpet and had to fumble to steady Rob again as they heard another voice behind them. “Was that Rob… on a dolly… wrapped in bubble wrap?” Courtney turned to see Kellan’s look of shock and confusion as Jackson walked up pointing in their direction.

She quickly left Meg’s, now steady side and ran over to Jackson and Kellan. “YOU DIDN’T SEE SH!T!!” She yelled as she slapped Jackson across the face. Shock crossed all three of their faces. “OH SH!T! I’m so sorry!!” She quickly kissed him on the mouth.

“COURTNEY! WTF?! Stop kissing them all and help me push him! He’s HEAVY!” Meg screamed as she struggled to push Rob across the carpet and then out the door.

“SORRY! SORRY!” Courtney called as she waved delicately at the boys, while walking backwards. Not watching where she was going she slammed into the same glass panes and fell face first onto the carpet. “OOOF!” She quickly rolled over and hopped up like a panther. “I’M GOOD!” She bellowed, as she quickly spun around… and into the window. “SH!T!”

Megan watched in amazement from outside as her friend tried to gather herself. With a roll of her eyes she quickly pushed Robert around the corner and into an alley and hid him behind a dumpster. “I have to do EVERYTHING around here.” She mumbled as she ran back into the hotel and helped a staggering Courtney out the doors.

“I can’t feel my face.” She mumbled as she was half dragged out into the night air.

“It’s ok, sweetie. Neither can Joan Rivers…”

Courtney’s loud laugh filled the dark alley as they rounded the corner. “What’d you do with the pretty?!”

“I hid him over here, see?” She said as she wheeled Rob out from behind the dumpster. She smiled wide as Courtney clapped her amazement. She and Courtney began to scurry and push Rob down the alley when she heard footsteps besides their own. She turned her head to see Kellan and Jackson lurking a ways behind.

Courtney turned her head in the same direction. “Sh!!t… Um… uh… QUICK! Hand me that thinga-ma-bob right there!” She said pointing at some debris next to another dumpster.

Megan held on to the dolly and leaned over to pick up a dilapidated object and thrust it into Courtney’s waiting hand. “This?”

She looked down at the broken contraption only to see it was an umbrella, only consisting of wire and a handle. “No! The other thing! Here… you just hold this!” She noticed that the boys approach had shortened the distance. She quickly leaned down and picked up an empty beer bottle. “Do you think this’ll work?!”

Megan’s eyes fell to the lone bottle and looked back up at Courtney with incredulous eyes. “I’m gonna go with no.”

With a sigh, Courtney hummed the bottle back behind them, the screech of a cat filled the alley. Her eyes searched the ground vehemently. “I’VE GOT IT!”

“WHAT?!” Megan asked, anxiety coating her voice.

“Gimme that… uh… stick!”

Megan reached down and picked up the familiar object. “It’s not a stick Courtney. It’s called a baseball bat…”

The muffled sounds of laughter echoed from the boys who just stood only a few feet away from them.

“Oh… I KNEW THAT! It just… really looks like a stick. I mean seriously?! Who came up with the name ‘bat’?”

“Um COURTNEY!” Megan whispered harshly. “We ARE trying to kidnap someone here…”

Courtney looked up from her rant. “OH! RIGHT!” She said, grabbing the bat from Megan. “AYE! AVAST!” She cried pointing the bat at Kellan and Jackson.

Megan’s eyes widened in shock, along with the boys, as she pointed the bat at them with an immense fierceness. “Are you… pointing the bat?”

“Well wtf am I supposed to do with it?!”

“What are you going to do? Poke us?” Kellan asked with a sneer, as he folded his large arms over his broad chest. Which was followed by a taunting snicker from Jackson.

Megan rolled her eyes again as she snatched the bat from Courtney and handed a still unconscious Robert over to her. “You had better watch out!” She called as she approached the boys. “I happen to have played a mean game of T-Ball!”

“Oh God! Anything but T-ball!” Jackson chuckled, mock shaking in his boots. Meg’s face contorted into an angry snarl as she fiercely swung the bat in their direction. The boys jumped back to avoid being hit.

Courtney watched as her friend swung the bat, scaring the men who loomed over a whole head taller than her. “WOO!” She called out. As soon as she did, she slightly lost her grip on Rob and fumbled to straighten him back up on the dolly.

Kellan darted out of the way as Megan continued to swing the bat. “GO COURTNEY! GO! I’ll hold them off!”

“OH MY GOD! OKAY!” She quickly tighten her grip on Rob as she half rolled, half dragged him through the dank alley. “Eww…” She mumbled. A soft groan made her stop in her tracks.

“Wtffffff…”

“Shhh… Baby! It’s okay! I got you.”

“Where in the bloody hell am I?”

“No where!” She whispered as she slapped him in the face.

“OW! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?! AND WHY CAN’T I MOVE MY ARMS?!”

“SH!T! I’m sorry! I just get… kind of violent when I’m nervous! AH!” She cried as she kissed him in the mouth.

Megan continued to swing the bat at Kellan and Jackson as they both ducked and dodged forward to try to stop her. Suddenly Kellan grabbed the bat and pulled forward. Megan lost her balance and stumbled into him. He yanked the bat from her hands and looked her right in the eyes then hummed it away from them.

The bat went flying through the air, conking Robert in the back of the head, knocking him out cold again.

Courtney pulled back as she noticed the stillness. She looked down and saw the bat lying on the ground. Anger bubbled up in her chest. “DAMN IT!” She cried as she let loose her grip on Robert, who slumped to the ground, and stalked over to a wide eyed Kellan. “LOOK WHAT YOU DID!”

“Um… didn’t you hit him first?” Jackson asked from his stance on the other side of Kellan.

“……. THAT’S NOT THE POINT!” Courtney yelled for a lack of a real argument.

“Courtney… are we kidnapping Rob or not?” Megan asked with a sigh.

“Oh… right…” Courtney quickly pulled off her shoe and smacked Jackson over the head with it. Then took off running with one shoe to retrieve Rob. She picked him up and started back down the alley. “RUN MEG!” She called over her shoulder.

Megan quickly made a break for it, before Kellan could even notice. She followed a ways behind Courtney and noticed as she rounded the corner and then skidded to a stop.

Courtney stood wide eyed before Nikki. “SON. OF. A B!TCH!” Then a look of determination flashed across her face and she reached out her balled fist and punched her in the head.

“OOOOOOOOOW! WTF, B!TCH?!” Nikki cried still standing on her feet.

“CRAP! That was supposed to knock you out…” She mumbled shaking her pounding hand.

Megan quickly ran back to grab the bat, dodging Kellan, then ran and hit Nikki with it. “LET’S GO!”

“Meg! You are effing AWESOME!” Courtney laughed as she rolled the dolly forward. But it caught in a crack in the ground and sent Rob spiraling over and over in his protective bubble wrap. The girls watched with bewilderment. “ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!”

Meg, looked behind her to see Kellan looking after Nikki, then ran over to lift Rob back up. “It’s ok, Courtney! Just get the car!”

Courtney nodded and then ran off to try to open the car door. “Damn it! Where are the keys?!” She cried as she searched her pockets.

Megan, finally pulled Rob upright and began to roll him over to the car. People still mulling around on the street stopped to stare. “What?!”

“Where. Are. The. Keys?!… WHAT YA’LL LOOKING AT?!” She hollered throwing up her hands in an intimidating gesture.

Megan looked up to see Kellan preparing to run in her direction. She noticed the beer bottle and rolled it. It caught him underfoot sending him spiraling to the earth. She then dug in her pocket and threw the keys to Courtney. “THERE! Now hurry! Pop the trunk and help me get him in!”

Courtney reached out for the keys and fumbled and dropped them as she noticed people pulling out their camera phones. “DAMN IT!” She quickly bent down to pick them up and them popped the trunk. She ran over to help Megan pull the dolly over. She took hold of it and pushed it forward. “GET IN THE CAR AND START IT UP!” She hurriedly pushed the dolly forward as Megan ran around and hopped into the driver’s side.

“COURTNEY! HURRY!” She called as the engine roared to life.

She quickly stuffed Rob in the trunk and ran to hop in the car, but tripped over Kellan, who was sprawled out on the ground, and fell flat on her face. She didn’t let it faze her as she scrambled from the ground and reached up to pull herself in the car. She felt a hand on her leg and shook it off. “GO! GO! GO!” She screamed, wiping blood from her lips. She shut the door as the car pulled off. “WOOOOO! WE DID IT!!”

“YEAH WE DID!” Megan cried as the tires screeched down the road. “Hey… did you hear that?”

“What?” Courtney asked turning around. “AW SH!T!” She exclaimed.

“WHAT?!”

“THE EFFING TRUNK IS STILL OPEN!!”

“WHAAAAAT?!” Meg exclaimed as the car screeched to a stop. “WELL, IS HE STILL IN THERE?!”

“I DON’T KNOW!!”

“WELL, GO CHECK!”

Courtney scrambled back out of the car and immediately saw Rob hopping back towards Kellan in his bubble wrapped form. Her eyes widened with shock as she saw them pointing out their car to the police. She jumped back in, “JUST GO DAMN IT!”

Megan pressed her foot to the gas pedal and sped off. “DAMN IT! Well… better luck next time…”