A/N: Now, I’ve never been big on the whole dedicating-a-fic-to-your-friends-for-the-heck-of-it thing, but I felt a rushing wave of do-good-er-ness today, so I’m writing this ficlet for Just Another Hairspray Lover, who’s been feeling a little down. This is for you, JAHL!

Anyway, this is first and foremost a Penweed. There will be mentions of other couples, but Penny and Seaweed will be my main focus. Link is in here, and while I would prefer to leave him out, he’ll work out well in this oneshot. This takes place a year after the movie, mainly because I wanted to include the reference to my favorite Audrey Hepburn movie, Charade.

There is one section here that’s pure dialogue; normally I hate that, but it should work out here.

And now, onto the fic!

Disclaimer: Nothing you see is mine. I mean, I WISH I owned the rights to Hairspray, just like many other people on this fandom, but sadly, I don’t.

“You know what I really like?”

Seaweed looked down at Penny, who was resting her head against his shoulder as they watched the movie. “What’s that, baby?”

“Paci-Pops.”

“Pussy-what?!”

“Shh!” Tracy hissed, her eyes intent on the movie as she munched on some popcorn. Link was nodding off; there hadn’t been any fights or gunshots for awhile.

Penny sighed, smiling as she rolled her eyes. “Paci-Pops. They’re these amazing lollipops. I haven’t had any since I was…wow, since I was twelve!” A reminiscent look came over her eyes, but after a moment, it faded and she sighed. “But they don’t sell them anymore. At least, not at any of the stores I’ve seen.”

Seaweed absorbed this. “So…why are they called Paci-Pops again?”

Penny thought for a moment and shrugged. “I don’t really know…I guess because they…make kids happy like a pacifier makes a baby happy?”

This was the best explanation either of them could think up, so Seaweed left it at that. The movie was an excellent one; it was called Charade, and it starred Audrey Hepburn, Cary Grant, and Walter Matthau. They watched in interest as Audrey Hepburn’s character, Reggie, was forced to choose who the true villain was: Cary Grant, her lover who had multiple aliases; or Walter Matthau, who seemed a step ahead of the game. Audrey Hepburn was finally screaming that she didn’t know why she should trust Cary Grant.

“Reggie, I haven’t got a reason in the world!” he admitted from behind a column.

“Adam!” Reggie cried.

Penny sniffled, wiping her eyes hurriedly. “That’s so sweet,” she whispered. “She has no reason to trust him, but she does it because she loves him. I wish everyone could be that confident in their love!”

Seaweed was missing the climax. He was about to gently shush Penny when a thought struck him. She probably thought that this was just some teenage-love. She had confessed before that she was afraid he would meet other—better—women in his life. Penny was his One and Only, and Seaweed would prove it to her.

“Cracker boy! Wait up!”

Link groaned. Fender and IQ exchanged glances; far be it from them to understand why Link Larkin was allowing a Negro to call him something so…degrading.

“You guys go on,” Link urged his friends. “I’ll see ya around.”

“Uh, okay,” they replied uneasily, scooting away before Seaweed caught up to Link.

“Do you have to keep calling me that?” Link snapped. “I mean, I call you by your name.”

“Boy, Seaweed ain’t my real name!” Seaweed laughed. “You don’t think my Momma is crazy?!”

“Really?” Link asked curiously. “Then what’s your real name?”

Seaweed’s laugh died instantaneously. “Don’t even go there,” he said gravely. “Listen, I got a favor to ask of you.”

“Shoot,” Link replied, beginning to amble along the sidewalk.

Seaweed fell into step easily. “You remember that movie we saw at the picture show the other night?”

Link nodded. “Yeah. The one with Cary Grant, right?”

Seaweed nodded. “Yeah. Well, Penny said something that made me start thinking…I think she needs a little, uh, reminder about how much I care for my girl.”

“Yeah…because breaking into song in the middle of lunch wasn’t enough…” Link muttered.

Seaweed shoved him. “Shut up, cracker-boy. Anyway, she mentioned these candies…have you ever heard of Paci-Pops?”

“Pussy-what?!” Link yelped.

Seaweed sighed. “Paci-Pops. I take that as a no?”

“Are those even legal?” Link asked with a sour face.

Seaweed groaned. “They’re lollipops, man. They don’t sell ‘em a lot of places anymore. Anyway, I’m gonna go get some for Penny.”

“But how can you get them if they don’t sell them in a lot of places?” Link asked as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.

Seaweed sighed; he felt as if he was explaining the same concept over and over again to a five-year-old. “I’m gonna track ‘em down and find ‘em. And I’m enlisting your help.”

“Aw, man, I don’t wanna go find some candies for your girlfriend!” Link whined. “Just…get her a box of chocolate or something. Girls love that stuff. Or flowers. Or just sing her another song in the middle of lunch.”

“But you can get chocolate or flowers or sing anywhere!” Seaweed practically shouted, waving his hands in emphasis. “You can’t get Paci-Pops just anywhere! This will be special! Romeo couldn’t have done better!”

“If you want to beat Romeo, Seaweed, you’re gonna have to kill yourself,” Link sniggered.

Seaweed glared at him. “If you don’t cut it, cracker-boy, I’m gonna tell Tracy that you were acting sweet on that waitress at Benny’s.”

Link’s eyes widened. “No! I’ll do it. I’ll do…whatever it is you want me to do. Just…don’t tell her, okay?”

Seaweed beamed triumphantly. “I knew you’d warm up to the idea.”

“Who was that, Tracy?” Penny asked, frowning as she tried applying nail polish to her toes. Her hand wasn’t steady, and she was trying her hardest not to get nail-polish off of the nail.

“Oh, it was Link,” Tracy replied, closing the door after her phone conversation and smirking when Penny wasn’t looking. “He and Seaweed are...what was his wording? ‘Having a men’s night’ or something. Anyway, we won’t be meeting them at the picture show.”

“Good!” Penny declared in relief. “The only thing playing is that werewolf movie. I do not want to see people transforming into hairy things that kill, thank-you-very-much!”

Tracy rested her chin on her hand, watching Penny paint her nails. “Are you sure your mother won’t flip?”

Penny scoffed. “She doesn’t look at my feet; ‘They’re unsanitary, Penny!’” she said in a screeching voice that sounded uncannily like her mother’s. “Besides, it’s pink; how noticeable is pink?”

Tracy shrugged. She flipped through a magazine for a moment. Suddenly, her eyes lit up. “Hey, Penny, it’s Friday night.”

“Um, yeah, I know that, Trace,” Penny replied, confused.

Tracy smirked. “Don’t you remember our neighbor, Mrs. Flannigan? Tonight’s her night to call her sister and gossip.”

“Ooh!” Penny exclaimed. She stuffed the brush back in the bottle of polish, rapidly blowing on her feet and then running after Tracy to the phone. “I love party-lines!”

“And you’re positive? You don’t have any Paci-Pops?” Link asked, sighing. Outside, Seaweed was looking in the window anxiously. The store was a white-only establishment, as were many of the places, so Seaweed was forced to wait outside, shivering in the chilly air of the night.

“Son, I don’t even know what they are. I can’t help you,” the gruff manager snapped, motioning for a blonde woman with some party-beverages to come forward.

Link scowled and slunk out of the store.

“Well?” Seaweed prodded, walking backwards in front of his friend.

“He’s never even heard of them.”

Seaweed visibly drooped, his pace matching that of Link’s. “This is whack, man. She’s had them before, which implies that they’ve been sold at some point or other in Baltimore. They can’t have just…disappeared!”

“Well, has she lived in Baltimore all her life? If she lived somewhere else, they might have sold them there.”

Seaweed considered this. “I…don’t know.”

“Uh, hello? Is Tracy Turnblad there?”

“Who is this?”

“Who is this?”

“Seaweed?”

“Tracy?”

“Who are you people?”

“Sorry, Mrs. Flannigan; this is my friend Seaweed.”

“You mean that Negro on that Candy Collar show?”

“Oh, I’ve heard of him!”

“It’s Corny Collins, Mrs. Flannigan, and could I please speak to Seaweed?”

“Well…I suppose. Sorry, Dolores; I’ll call you in an hour.”

“Oh, we won’t be that long, Mrs. Flannigan.”

“Well…twenty minutes?”

“We’ll be off by then.”

“All right, Tracy. I’ll talk to you later, Dolores!”

“All right, Priscilla!”

“Tracy, can I, uh, speak to you alone?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Seaweed? What’s going on?”

“Nothing, Penny, nothing!”

“Seaweed, you sound nervous like that time you were stuck in the bathroom.”

“I’M NOT STUCK IN A BATHROOM!”

“Uh, okay.”

“Seaweed, what the heck is going on?!”

“Is Penny listening?”

“Um, no, I don’t think so.”

“Good. Has Penny lived in Baltimore all her life?”

“Tracy?”

“You called me to ask if Penny’s lived in Baltimore all her life?!”

“Well, has she?”

“Yes. Why?”

“It’s…nothing. Wanna talk to your boy?”

“Nah; Mrs. Flannigan will be on here in a minute.”

“She said twenty minutes.”

“Twenty minutes to her is five minutes to us.”

“Oh. Well, see ya.”

“Bye, Seaweed!”

“That was such a waste of money!” Link grumbled. “Of course she’s lived in Baltimore all her life! Stupid…”

“Well, at least we know we won’t have to leave the city!” Seaweed said heatedly.

Link rolled his eyes. “Naw, it’s just a whole CITY! It’s not like it’ll be hard to track down a rare kind of candy in all of BALTIMORE in one NIGHT!”

“What in the blue-blazes is going on here?” an elderly woman snapped, her tortoise-like head sticking out of a window above them.

“’Scuse me, ma’am, but do you know where we could find some Paci-Pops?” Seaweed asked in his smooth voice, smiling in what Penny had told him was a suave manner.

The woman’s face softened immediately. “Paci-Pops? Oh, I remember those! I used to get them for my granddaughter! Now she’s off dancing on that show to that race music,” the woman added, frowning.

“Really? What’s her name?” Link asked in interest.

“Tammy. Why? Do you know her?” the woman asked eagerly.

“Well, sure! Tammy’s great—“

“’Scuse me, ma’am, Link, but do you know where we could find some of these Paci-Pops?” Seaweed cut in edgily.

The woman thought long and hard. Then her face lit up. “Oh, yes! Gerald’s Hardware sells them still!”

“Where is that, ma’am?” Seaweed asked, excitement seeping into his voice.

“Just two blocks down that way,” she replied, pointing down the street.

“Thank you, Tammy’s grandmother!” Link called, beginning to sprint after Seaweed.

“Now, hold up there!”

The two boys skidded to a halt.

“Gerald’s is closed! Their hours are from eight to seven. Surely you didn’t think they would still be open?” the woman began to cackle as if this were absolutely hilarious.

Seaweed groaned. “Well, thank you anyway, ma’am.”

“Of course, young man,” she returned with a smile. As they walked away, they distinctly heard her muttering, “Very nice for a Negro boy. Very nice indeed.”

“I’m sorry, Seaweed,” Link said, shrugging his shoulders uncomfortably; he wasn’t used to talking to Seaweed without joking around.

Seaweed gave him a look. “You seriously think I’m giving up after this?”

Link furrowed his brow. “You mean…you’re still going to try and get a Paci-Pop even though the store is closed?”

“We didn’t come out all this way for nothing!”

Link was very confused now. “Wait, but…but we can’t get in. The only way I can think of for us to get one is to steal it!” He sniggered at his friend’s stupidity.

Seaweed smirked. “Yeah?”

Link’s already fair face paled. “You’re serious? You want to break into a store?! To get a lollipop?! For your girlfriend?!”

“You know what I’m gonna say, don’tcha?”

Link sighed. “’Calm down, cracker boy!’” he said in a very bad imitation of Seaweed’s favorite phrase.

Seaweed beamed. “Exactly. Now, come on!”

Link sighed as he followed his friend somewhat dejectedly. Seaweed sprinted while Link jogged down two blocks. They came to Gerald’s Hardware and came to a halt, panting. The store was indeed closed up; the lights were off, and the place looked low-security.

“Well, come on,” Link wheezed, heading for the front door.

“Stop!” Seaweed yelped, scandalized.

“What?” Link asked, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

“You can’t just waltz right into the front! You have to take a backdoor, or maybe a window!”

Link smirked. “You sound like you’ve done this before, Seaweed.”

Seaweed glared. “It’s common knowledge, cracker. Now come on!”

They headed for the alley, only to find a couple ardently making out.

“Oh, ‘scuse us—CORNY?!” Seaweed yelped.

“Seaweed?” Corny Collins asked, pulling away from the young blonde instantaneously.

“Amber?!” Link sputtered.

“Link?” Amber gasped. She and Corny, still entangled in one another’s arms, glanced at each other.

Corny stepped back immediately, straightening his tie. “Uh, fellas, this isn’t what it looks like—“

“It looks to me like you’re sneaking around with Amber,” Seaweed all but sniggered.

“Amber, does your mother know what you’re doing?” Link asked, still unable to comprehend what was going on. He had known Velma von Tussle well enough to know that she detested Corny Collins with every fiber of her being.

Amber flushed. “Link, if she ever finds out—Don’t you dare tell her! I swear to God, Link Larkin—“

Corny cleared his throat, pulling her back by her shoulder so that she didn’t strangle Link; she was holding up her hands as if she was ready to wrap them around Link’s neck. “Listen, no one has to know about this. We, we can…work on a deal…”

“Corny, you could lose your job for this!” Link exclaimed. “And Amber, you could get kicked off of the show!”

“That’s why we’re meeting in secret, stupid!” Amber snapped. She looked dangerously close to crying.

Seaweed stepped in before anything else could happen. “You say we can work on a deal, Mr. Collins? Well, me and Link were…trying to, uh, obtain something. And if you—and maybe Amber—were to aid us, we might just, y’know, forget that we ever came across y’all.”

Corny looked contemplative. Amber watched him; she had no idea how to handle these sorts of things, so she would leave it to Corny. Finally, Corny nodded. “Okay. Tell us what to do.”

“Penny better be grateful for this,” Corny muttered, hoisting Amber through the window. Her impossibly flouncy skirt was a pain in the rear; he hoped the styles would change. Fast.

“Well, I think it’s sweet!” Amber declared, daintily dropping down from the windowsill and smoothing out her skirt. Her attitude towards Seaweed had changed completely now; no longer was she hostile, not now that she knew what he was doing.

“Candy is sweet. Stealing candy doesn’t strike me as ‘sweet,’” Corny grumbled, dropping on the floor unceremoniously.

Amber sniffed. “Excuse me, but speaking from a female’s perspective, I personally would love it if a boy broke into a store and stole some candy for me.” She frowned. “You’ve never done anything like that for me…”

Corny sighed, rolling his eyes heavenward. “Baby, I will steal a lollipop for you if you so desire it. I will shoplift an entire candy-shop if it appeases you. But for now, shut up and look for the lollipops!”

He, Link, and Seaweed began creeping through the store, feeling the shelves and squinting in the moonlight. Amber, however, stood completely still, mouth open and eyes on Corny. “You would shoplift a store for me?”

Corny paused and sighed. “Yes. But for Pete’s sakes, Amber, just help us find the lollipops! We can discuss your many wants later.”

Amber sighed dreamily and began rattling at the shelves, peering in at them and scrunching up her little nose whenever she came across nails.

“Do you see ‘em?” Seaweed whispered into the darkness.

“Oh, yeah; I just thought I’d keep quiet!” Amber hissed back. A moment later there was a squeal. “I found them! I found them! Paci-Pops, right here! And there’s tons of them!” Amber exclaimed, grabbing two fistfuls of the candy.

The three males praised her as they clambered around the crate, grabbing the candy and examining it to see what was so special.

“Now, we can’t take too many,” Corny warned. “Just a few that won’t be missed. We don’t want anyone to know that this store has been broken into.”

“All right, I’ll pick!” Seaweed said excitedly. The other three stepped back to allow him to revel in his treasure.

Amber abruptly turned to Corny and said (quite bluntly), “Corny, what would you do for me to prove that you loved me?”

Corny groaned; he was dreading this conversation. Link wandered away; he remembered how these games would go. He had promised to do a lot of things, and he didn’t think Amber would be quite so gullible the second time around.

“Well, what do you want?”

Amber pouted. “I bet you’re lying. You wouldn’t do anything! You’re just like Link!”

“Hey! I—“

“Can it, Larkin!” Amber snapped.

Corny groaned again. “Amber, I goddamn love you, okay? Now give me something to do!”

Amber seemed surprised at this freedom. She was actually allowed to choose what she wanted. That was…quite new. “Well…” she thought hard. “Break your finger!”

“WHAT?!” Corny and Link exclaimed in unison.

Amber now looked more confident. “You said you would do anything, Corny!”

Link gaped; Amber was demanding, sure, but this? Corny stared for a long moment before he reached up towards his left middle finger. Amber gasped, as did Link.

“STOP!”

Corny glared at Amber in exasperation. “You said you wanted me to break my finger. Now you want me to stop? Make up your mind!”

“You…you were…you were actually going to do it?” she asked faintly.

“You told me to!” Corny nearly shouted.

Amber melted. “Oh, Corny, you do love me!” and with that, she flung her arms around Corny’s neck and began to kiss him feverishly.

“I’m all for love, but…we gotta get outta here,” Seaweed said uncomfortably, climbing out through the window. Corny hoisted up Amber again and this time, Seaweed caught her. She was in a daze, a saccharine smile on her face.

“Y’know, I kinda like her this way,” Seaweed observed as Link came through the window.

“And it’s all for me,” Corny grinned. “Now, come on; there’s a girl you’ve got to sweep off her feet, Seaweed.”

Penny lifted her head, furrowing her brow. “Tracy, do you hear that?”

Tracy listened and then gasped. “Oh, Penny; go to the window!”

“What?” Penny asked, confused.

“Just do it!”

Penny frowned but headed to the window, pulling up the shade. A beaming Seaweed was standing between the window and a car driven by Corny Collins. Amber was sitting in the front seat, looking unnaturally serene, and Link was peering out of the back.

“Seaweed…what’s going on?” Penny asked, bewildered.

“I went and gotcha a little something,” Seaweed explained, pulling out three Paci-Pops.

Penny squealed. “Seaweed! Paci-Pops! You found some!”

“Eventually!” Link shouted. Corny grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and yanked his head back into the car. Penny threw her arms around Seaweed’s neck and kissed him fervently.

“Tracy Turnblad, what is going on in there?” Edna’s voice demanded from down the hall.

“Uh…nothing, Ma!” Tracy replied, running out of her room and closing the door behind her. She met Edna in the hall, the latter of whom was in her bathrobe and looking suspicious. Edna, however, barreled past Tracy and entered the room. Penny and Seaweed promptly broke away.

“Oh, hello, Seaweed. Tracy, what’s going on here?” Edna asked.

Tracy sighed. “Well, Seaweed went to go get some rare kind of candy for Penny to prove his love for her and he went with Link and I guess they met Corny and…Corny and Amber,” Tracy answered, frowning as she wondered what the car was doing there.

Edna put her hands over her heart. “Oh, that’s just precious, hon! Why doesn’t Link ever do anything like that for you?”

“It’s not in his character, Ma,” Tracy replied patiently.

Edna shrugged and went over to the window. “I was just making some brownies for the girls; there’s plenty for everyone!”

So, with much chattering, the seven of them proceeded into the kitchen, gathering around the table and eating some of Edna’s brownies. Everyone was in a friendly mood; Amber was even sitting next to Seaweed. After a few moments, she turned to him.

“Um, Seaweed, you do know that once we get back to school, I’m still going to treat you like dirt?” Amber asked good-naturedly, sinking her teeth into a brownie that melted in her mouth.

Seaweed laughed. “I’d worry about you if you didn’t,” he assured her.

Amber smiled, leaning back into Corny’s embrace. If Edna found this at all odd, she said nothing; it seemed that she was used to the strange people her daughter befriended.

“So, you know that I love you, girl?” Seaweed asked as he slid an arm around Penny’s waist.

She nodded happily, licking some crumbs off of her lips. “Only someone who really and truly loved me would shoplift a hardware store to get me Paci-Pops!”

“You’d better believe it, babe.”

A/N: And so it ends. I’ve managed to include Penweed, Amber/Corny, AND Trink! Not that the last pairing is my specialty, you understand ;)

I invented the entire concept of Paci-Pops; as far as I know, they don’t exist. As for party-lines, they were quite common in the ‘60s; neighbors shared one phone line! Anyone who’s seen Andy Griffith and remembers the episode “Man in a Hurry” will know what Mrs. Flannigan and her sister Dolores are like (“And my feet fell asleep!”)

I hope you enjoyed, and I especially hope that Just Another Hairspray Lover liked this. Thank you so much for reading and please leave a review!

Cheers,

LazyChestnut