A/N- a short story I wrote for a laugh a while ago. It's a bit weird and OOC, but i hope you find it funny. This story uses the 9th Doctor from Doctor Who.

Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter, Star Wars, Doctor Who or the Simpsons, except in my dreams.

The Harry Potter; Star Wars; Doctor Who Short Story, Guest Starring Homer Simpson

“Well it’s not my fault!”

“What did I do wrong?!”

“You should have lent me it!”

“That’s it!” he snapped. He stormed off, invisibility cloak draped over his shoulder, leaving Ron stood in the doorway.

“And don’t come back for a long time Harry Potter!”

Harry raced through the undergrowth, not caring about the thorns that were scratching at his ankles, tearing through his clothes. He sprinted into a clearing and sat on a long, moss covered log. His breath was echoing throughout the forest. When at last he looked up, he saw a figure silhouetted against the setting sun. He was standing in the middle of a stone circle.

“Darth Voldemort!” he whispered.

Inside the TARDIS the Doctor noticed a switch he hadn’t used before.

“I wonder what it does?” he asked to no-one in particular.

“Is there a label?” Rose’s voice came from one of the many rooms in the TARDIS.

“Yes. It says ‘Inter-dimensional Travel’. I think I’ll flick it.”

Back in the clearing, Darth Voldemort had sensed Harry’s presence.

“Ah, Harry Potter. I am the great, evil Darth Voldemort.” Suddenly, a strange, fat, bald, yellow man materialized, holding a toaster.

“Aha!” cried Darth Voldemort, “The perfect target to destroy to show just how evil I am! Avada Kedavra!”

“D’oh!” shouted the man as a flash of green light raced towards him. And then, Homer Simpson was dead.

Meanwhile, Luke Skywalker sat back in a chair. That had been some party with the Ewoks last night!

Harry couldn’t speak. It seemed that all he could do was cry, so that was what he did. He just cried and cried as if it protected him. Only it didn’t.

“You’re just like your mother, you cry a lot. DO NOT CRY!!”

“Why not?” sobbed Harry, his cheeks red from crying.

“Because, I am your father!”

“NO!!” bellowed Harry. He lashed out, tearing off a piece of Darth Voldemort’s cloak. He stepped back, allowing Harry to take his anger out on the ground. Slowly, he pulled a mobile phone out from some secret cloak pocket and dialed a number.

About five minutes later, two men came strolling down the hill.

“This must be the one” said a short man with an enormous brown moustache.

“Yep” said the other. A tall fair-haired person with blue eyes and massive ears. They dragged Harry up the hill, out of the forest and into their van.

Harry woke up in a padded cell and instantly regretted it. As a wave of pain hit him he saw that his knuckles were bleeding, his feet were sore and he had the most appalling headache. He tried to sit up but he collapsed backwards. As he gazed up at the ceiling, he heard a rasping, grating sound. He looked up. A strange man with a large grin spread across his face stared down at him. He was stood in front of what appeared to be a large, blue box. A door opened and a fair haired girl stepped out. She was looking rather shaken up.

“Inter-dimensional!” she cried, “We are NEVER doing that again!”

“Rose, please, we’re standing in front of Harry Potter. Don’t worry Harry. Have you out of there in a jiffy!”

“H, h, how do you know my name? I’ve never seen you before.” asked Harry.

“All will be revealed when you step inside the box” said the strange man, gesturing towards the blue thing the girl had stepped out of. He pulled a long, thin device from a pocket in his leather jacket and flicked something on it. The end glowed blue and he held it up to the lock on he bars in Harry’s cell. Harry heard a click and the door swung open. When Harry then entered the blue box he nearly fainted. The inside was much bigger than the outside. In the middle there was a six-sided control panel and on top of that was a large clear column. The whole thing glowed a turquoise-green.

“Welcome to the TARDIS, that’s Time And Relative Dimension In Space. I’m the Doctor by the way” said the man.

“And I’m Rose” said the girl, stepping forward.

“P, p, pleasure to meet you” replied Harry, “Um, the inside’s bigger than the outside…”

“Don’t worry,” said the Doctor, “Culture shock, happens to the best of us. Judging by what we’ve seen happening to you, you want Darth Voldemort disposing of.”

“Yes.”

“Good, let’s go get someone to do that then.” The Doctor pressed a few things and pumped a balloon pump and a cylindrical object in the central column began to go up and down. Harry heard the grating, rasping noise again. They stopped shortly and The Doctor and Rose stepped outside, gesturing for Harry to follow them.

When Harry stepped out of the TARDIS he saw that they were in a barren, desert landscape. The Doctor went into a house and, a couple of minutes later, came out again.

“Harry, this is Luke Skywalker, Luke, this is Harry Potter. Right, now we’ve got that over and done with, back to the TARDIS.” As they walked back, the Doctor asked Harry,

“Have you got anything I can trace him with, only it’ll take a long time if you don’t.”

“Yeah,” replied Harry, “I’ve got a piece of his cloak.” He handed it over.

Once they were all inside, the TARDIS just slowly disappeared with its usual rasping, grating noise. It materialized a few moments later, right next to Darth Voldemort. Before he could turn around, the doors burst open and out leapt Luke Skywalker, who swung his green lightsaber and chopped off Darth Voldemort’s head.

Once they had returned Luke Skywalker to his home, Harry said,

“Right, I guess I’d better go back.”

“You could go home,” said the Doctor, “Fill your life with spells, magic and potions, or, I don’t know, you could come with me. You see, right now, there’s a storm brewing in the Horsehead Nebula. I could fly the TARDIS right into the middle of it and ride the shockwaves out, ending up anywhere. It’s up to you.” Harry grinned. He knew what he would do.

A few months later, a blue box appeared outside Hogwarts. Out stepped a boy with black hair and a scar shaped like a lightning bolt on his forehead.