|Hate Myself For Losing You
Author: Surgery-Girl PM
Meredith is running. Running away from her past. Running away from her memories. And running away from all her pain. But no matter where she goes, pain seems to follow her. MerMark.Rated: Fiction T - English - Drama - Meredith G. & Mark S. - Chapters: 29 - Words: 32,788 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 124 - Updated: 01-03-09 - Published: 03-28-08 - id: 4161673
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Four months passed since Thatcher Grey died. Meredith didn't attend the funeral nor did she contact his other family. It was a chapter of her life she had finally closed and never wanted to open up again. Life moved on virtually unchanged. Sure there was some part of her that was disappointed that Thatcher had never and would never be able to try to get in her life once again. But more of her really believed Thatcher Grey had been dead to her for years before his death.
She sat on the couch waiting for her husband to return from work. Alex was in the kitchen making a sandwich since he had just come over from work. Since she hit her third trimester, Richard made her cut back her hours. She worked half days often and had more days off than most of her colleagues. In the beginning, she put up a fight but eventually gave in. It was nice to be able to relax some, but she still missed work. Besides there was never anything on daytime TV. Her friends came over and visited her on their days off, and Mark came home for his lunch breaks, but it wasn't the same as being there at the hospital with them.
The door bell rang. Groaning, she paused the movie and looked towards the kitchen. "Alex!"
"I got it." He rolled his eyes and walked to the door. She leaned to see who it was but when she couldn't quite see around Alex she hit play on the remote and ignored the door completely. She heard him say something then return to the living room.
"Who is it?" She asked putting a few pieces of popcorn in her mouth.
She froze and looked at him. "Tell her I'm not here." She whispered.
"She knows you are." He whispered back with a little amusement in his voice.
"Tell her I'm sleeping."
Sighing, he nodded and returned to the door. She listened carefully as he lied but couldn't hear Susan's reply. After a second, the door shut and Alex returned. Without a word, he walked to the kitchen, got his sandwich, and sat down beside her on the couch.
"Well?" Meredith asked impatiently.
"She said okay." He shrugged. Sighing a sigh of relief, she smiled at him. "And she'd be back later."
Her head whipped around as she slapped his arm. "Alex! Couldn't you have told her I was like in Europe or something and never would return?"
"Sorry." He chuckled. She glared at him for a few more minutes before sighing heavily.
Mark walked into the house later than he expected to. Carrying pizza in one hand and chocolate in the other, he quietly walked into the living room. Meredith sat on the couch next to Alex apparently torturing him with chick flicks.
"I'm glad I'm not Alex right now." He chuckled. Both Meredith and Alex looked over at him.
"Hey, Babe." Meredith said as he walked over. He leaned down and kissed Meredith quickly. "Got dinner?" He nodded and went into the kitchen. Alex stood up to make a quick escape, but Meredith stopped him. He groaned loudly causing Meredith to laugh.
"You want any, Alex?" Mark yelled.
"No, I have to go." He glanced over at Meredith, who didn't let go of his arm.
"Come on, Alex. You know you like this movie."
"Yeah right." He scoffed and pulled his arm away. "See you tomorrow." He called before grabbing his coat and heading for the door.
"Bye." Meredith sighed and paused the movie. Mark came back into the room carrying two plates with pizza on it one with M&Ms on top. "Yum." She smiled at him as he sat down. She quickly snatched her plate away practically drooling over it.
Mark chuckled kissing her temple draping on arm over her shoulders. She snuggled in closer to him as she took the first bite of her pizza.
"How was your day?" She asked after a few minutes.
"Boring without you." She smiled brightly at him but said nothing. "And yours?"
She was quiet for a few minutes, which was odd. Usually on her days off, she responded with an 'ugh' or at least a 'boring.' Instead she looked down at her pizza slowly chewing what was in her mouth.
"You'll never guess who stopped by." She said after swallowing what was in her mouth.
He lifted an eyebrow. It wasn't often that people stopped other than their friends. Being doctors, they didn't have time to socialize outside work. And their friends coming over was hardly breaking news.
"Who?" He asked.
"Thatcher's wife?" She nodded. "Why?"
"I don't know." She sighed. "Alex answered the door and told her that I was sleeping. But he said that she said she'd come back later. I don't want to deal with her."
"Don't stress over this, Babe. It isn't good for the baby." He said. She took a deep breath as she nodded and rubbed circles on her stomach.
"I never wanted to deal with him… or his family again. I thought this would finally end it for me. I could stop having daddy problems and abandonment issues." She said quietly.
"You hardly have any problems. You're perfect."
Giving him a fleeting smile, she sighed. "I just don't want to remember that he could start a new life without a second thought about what he was leaving behind." He hugged her closer as she relaxed into his chest. "I missed you today."
"I missed you too."