A/N: I think that birthday’s are way too much work. Next year, I’m just giving Annie a card. Seriously.

Disclaimer: I barely own the laptop I’m typing this on.

Yesterday’s Scandal

Lenalee met Kanda one year before she met Lavi. And the year after that, she met Bak.

Meeting Kanda had been a slightly awkward, but not wholly terrible thing. He was her partner for the first mission she ever went on, once she had finally been let out of her—the room.

He didn’t talk much, which made her nervous at first, but he started answering her questions once she had showed him that she wasn’t completely useless, and could hold her own in a fight.

Since that day, there had been an unspoken agreement between the two of them to watch one another’s backs. She didn’t get to see Kanda as often as she’d have liked, but she’d always consider him a friend, even if he thought her annoying.

(except that Kanda save her as strong, not as annoying)

She met Lavi four times, though the first three were with different names. Lavi was different than Kanda, in that he never buried his sadness, he just ignored it. She liked meeting Lavi for the fourth time—she liked that time the best.

She liked it a little too much, but nobody except God knew that.

(and maybe Lavi, who liked it a little too much also)

And then she met Bak, just after her sixteenth birthday, and about a week before Allen joined the Order.

It was something more than a catastrophe.

She had heard, or course, that the (young) head of the Asian branch would be meeting with her brother. She figured she’d make them some coffee—it wasn’t like she had anything better to do, and besides, her brother loved the caffeine.

(what Lenalee didn’t know was that it was the highlight of his day)

She set the twin mugs on a tray and walked, carefully, to the study. She paused just outside, but couldn’t make out their voices but for the murmurs. She raised one pale hand and knocked softly, before pushing her way in.

Komui grinned when he saw her, or maybe his coffee, and she smiled back reflexively. Komui accepted his mug cheerfully, and she took the chance to scrutinize the other man when she handed him his own cup.

He was staring straight back at her, eyes huge. He didn’t look very old—younger than her brother, even, but maybe older than Kanda.

“Ah, Lenalee,” Komui seemed to have remembered himself, “This is Bak, head of the Asian branch. Bak, this is my sister, Lenalee.”

Bak said nothing, but made a high, squeaky noise after several seconds of unabashed ogling. Lenalee shifted awkwardly, and then tried for a smile. “Nice to meet you.”

Bak looked semi-comatose. She found herself wondering how such a non-responsive person had landed themselves a position of such leadership—

There was something growing on Bak’s face. Lenalee stepped back in alarm as angry red hives covered his face. Komui too, looked perturbed. She had started to babble an apology, “I’m so sorry—I put some cinnomen in the coffee—you aren’t allergic, are you?”

Bak, who was now rendered inarticulate due to the swelling, could only shake his head furiously. Lenalee dashed towards the sink, and returned a second later, gently placing a cool, wet cloth over his face and still ranting her apologies.

Nothing remained of Bak’s previously clear skin, and it seemed that the more Lenalee tried to help, the worse it got.

Komui eventually caught on. “I see,” he grabbed his younger sibling’s shoulder in an iron grip, expression somewhere between murderous rage and hysteria, “It’s a good thing I PREPARED MYSELF FOR PERVERTS LIKE YOU! HOW DARE YOU LOOK AT MY SISTER?!”

Komui pushed The Red Button, but Bak had already fled.

“Listen up,” Komui paced the length of the room, looking haggard. Reever could be seen turning back to his crossword puzzle. Lavi was sitting next to Kanda on the floor, looking politely interested, even as Kanda death-glared everyone near him into oblivion.

“There is a new mission.” Komui swept everything off of a desk for grand effect. Johnny moaned as several day’s worth of paperwork were thrown to disarray. “A code red!”

“I thought we were already on the most important mission out there,” Lavi piped up, “I mean, we’re saving humanity. Is there something ELSE we need to do?”

“Kill Bak.” Komui said seriously, “I want him taken out! I want his spleen nailed to my wall! I want him to never come near my sister again!”

“Bak was hitting on Lenalee?!” Reever looked up from ‘five letter word for moron,’ his tired face incredulous, “How old is he again?”

“I DON’T CARE!” Komui screeched, “WE CAN FUDGE IT ON HIS DEATH CERTIFICATE. JUST KILL HIM!”

“I thought he was nineteen,” Lavi elbowed Kanda, “He’s nineteen, right?”

Kanda’s expression had darkened from ‘Pissed Off’ to ‘Blood thirsty, homicidal maniac.’ Lavi rolled his eyes. Why did these people insist on overreacting?!

There was a knock on the door, and Bak himself stepped into the room, almost chocking on the dozens of roses he was carrying. “Um,” he twitched nervously, “Where’s Lenalee?”

The room was deathly quiet, save for Kanda sharpening his sword. Very slowly, Johnny raised his hand, like he wasn’t sure if answering would cost him his life or not. Bak looked towards him pleadingly, even as Komui glared.

“Uh,” Johnny coughed, “I think she’s in her room. Third floor.”

“Her room!?” Bak stammered, obviously thinking that going into a girl’s room was the ultimate sin and would result in instant castration. Everyone watched intently as Bak nearly melted into the carpet, before Lavi stood.

“Sure. I’ll take you there.” He smiled cheerfully. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Obviously, Lavi was going to take him outside and beat the shit out of this punk—

Kanda jerked as, just before Lavi left the room, the redhead smiled at him in a positively demonic way.

“It’s a set up!” he hissed just as soon as the library doors shut, “An allience!”

“THOSE BASTARDS!” Komui sobbed, “I should have known not to trust him!”

“Tch,” Kanda snarled, Mugen in hand. He kicked Komui’s desk furiously, “Shut up or I’ll slice you!”

“Thank you,” Bak mumbled, not meeting Lavi’s gaze, “For helping me.”

“No problem,” Lavi grinned. I will use you as a distraction. “Are you going to deliver those flowers or not?”

Bak looked shell-shocked at the very mention. Lavi almost laughed evilly. “There’s a boil on your face…and another one…”

“Oh, shit,” Bak moaned into his hands, and pushed the flowers at Lavi, “Can you just give them to her for me?”

“Certainly,” Lavi took them carefully, and walked around the corner.

Now that Bak couldn’t see, he did a little jig, before knocking on the door. Lenalee smiled when she saw him, eyes straying down to the flowers.

Lavi’s attempted to suavely drop his voice, “Would you like them? They’re for you.”

“Oh,” Lenalee smiled at him brightly, before she carefully took the flowers, “Thank you! They’re lovely. Are you feeling okay?”

“Fine, why?” He leaned coolly against the doorframe, and thought he might have heard Bak sputter.

“Your voice sounds a little funny, do you want some tea?” Lenalee looked up at him through her eyelashes, accidentally lovely. Lavi cleared his throat.

“Tea would be nice, thanks.”

He let her walk ahead of him in the halls, and then paused to lift his eyebrows at Bak, who was steadily turning purple.

“THES BEANS WAR!” he struggled to say, around the hives.

Lavi sniggered, and ran after her.