Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Chapter One:

Hidden Emotions

The heavy pattering of rain against the kitchen window added an eerie mood. Thunder clapped from the stormy grey clouds. Tires screeching could deafen a young child from outside. The sloshing of water against the tiled floor gave away that someone was inside of the musty, old house.

An older teen was in the kitchen, scrubbing the dirt-stained tile floor. No improvement of any sort was being made, but nobody cared. He was alone in the house, and he didn’t mind that notion one bit.

The house was on the edge of collapse. It had a strong smell of mold and cigarettes, which often stained the teen’s clothing. The ceiling of most of the rooms leaked, so there would be plenty of large puddles to dry off by the time the storm ended. There were also holes in some of the walls, allowing occasionally breezes to blow inside of the wreck of a house. Lights would flicker from one time to another, and the power often went out.

In a few minutes, the teenager’s limbs grew sore from the constant pointless scrubbing. He had circles around his eyes from lack of rest, and he had a thin body frame. Food was often scarce to him, which gave him the lean appearance. His clothing was years old, and hadn’t been washed once. They were tattered and worn, with holes where the joints were located. His shoes were a mess, and the laces were mostly gone.

A look of hopelessness was expressed on his face. He was lost in a world of pain, hating others as others have hated him. He owned no friends, and nobody spoke with him. Being locked in this world taught him loneliness and solitude, which most people feared. He, on the other hand, enjoyed it. There was no one who could hurt him when he was alone. No one to say he wasn’t worth a dime.

He was enjoying this moment of loneliness, when the door was slammed open. A figure marched inside of the tattered home, and slammed the door behind her. It was a female, a ‘large’ one at that. She carried the strong scent of alcohol, and was wobbling from side to side. Her deep-set eyes finished off her foul characteristics, as she pulled out a cigarette from her old-fashioned purse.

She stumbled into the kitchen, where the dirt covered teen was located, a cruel and harsh look on her face. She gave the male a cold, hard stare. “You call this clean?” she bellowed finally, after a long while of silence. “What a joke!”

The older teen hung his head in shame. More insults, just what he needed.

“You really think that you’re worth something, boy? If you were really worth something, you would earn us some money, wouldn’t cha?” slurred the drunken woman at the teen.

The male had nothing to say. He was busy with dealing with school, and getting a job was out of the question.

“Just… get out of my face, you good for nothing piece of trash!” yelled the woman at the male, causing him to flinch. He then bolted out of the room, stumbling over his scrawny, tired legs.

After he had crept up the flight of stairs to the attic, he collapsed on the damp wooden floor. He clutched his sides tightly from the cold drafts and from stomach pains. There seemed to be no way out of his situation. He grabbed his blue school jacket, and wrapped it around his thin body, hoping to gain a bit of warmth.

Glancing around his misshapen room, he picked up his backpack, and tossed it onto the moth-bitten mattress at the back of the attic. He sat down on it, and unzipped the miserable excuse of a pack, and scanned through his failing grades. He then pulled out a small, dark blue notebook and a pen. He then started to write in it with his amazing penman ship.

Dear Journal,

I was yelled at again, but I could really care less. I don’t know what I want to do in my life anymore. I have no motivation to work for my grades anymore. So what if I don’t graduate? It’s not like I would be successful in life if I did graduate. I can’t seem to find what I’m good at. I know I can draw decently, but it’s not like that will get me a good paying job or anything.

Sometimes, I wish someone would realize that something is wrong. I wish someone would care about my dropping grades, help me with my career choice, just talk with me… anything really. I just want someone to be there for me in my times of need. But, it’s not like it will actually happen. I can only hope Mother stops the drugs and drinking business. Maybe then things will lighten up for the both of us. Just maybe…

Atem Yami Motou

The boy carefully placed his journal back into his backpack, and zipped it up. He then tossed it to the other side of the room, and curled up onto his mattress. He trembled from the cold, and pressed his jacket tighter against his tanned body. He then drifted into an unpleasant sleep, as he waited for dawn to come again.

As dawn came, the warm rays of sunlight struck his sleepy eyelids. Atem yawned, and slowly lifted his weary form off of the poor excuse of a bed. He got to his feet, and slung his backpack over his back. He didn’t have to change his clothes, just like any ordinary day. Thoughts of breakfast rolled through his tired mind. But, that’s as close to breakfast that he was going to get, unfortunately. His mother always said that he never deserved any ‘real’ meals, and Atem had to live off of the few scraps she would give to him.

Dragging his sore feet out of the house, he kept his senses sharp. He didn’t want to get messed up in any of the outer activities in his neighborhood. His mother had set up a barbed wire fence to keep the gang members out of their property, and to keep him from running off.

Atem cautiously opened the front gate to his house, and left his front yard. He then made a break for school. He didn’t want to get ambushed, and the best way to avoid it was to run as fast as you can, and pray that they don’t go after you.

Cursing himself, he bolted into his classroom, backpack still at hand. Upon entering the classroom, the school bell rang. Sighing in relief, he fell into his seat, and rested his head on his arms. He was up until eleven the previous night, and he needed the extra rest more than anything.

“Mr. Motou!” barked a teacher’s voice, causing him to sit upright in an instant. “You have your homework today, correct?”

Atem’s face grew red, and he looked away. “No sir…” he admitted quietly, staring at the hole in his left sneaker.

The teacher sighed heavily. “Looks like someone’s going to repeat their junior year of high school, doesn’t it?”

Nodding slowly, Atem allowed his blonde, messy bangs to cover his face. He just wanted to be alone, away from everyone. He hated his peers as well as his instructors. He hated everyone, and that would probably never change, not like he minded.

As class continued, a sharp prick was felt on Atem’s spine. He glanced around to see one of the more popular kids jabbing his pencil into his side. A great rage of fury built inside of Atem, as he cursed to himself. Why was he so broken? Why was he so alone? If people only knew. If they only knew what he saw, what he felt, what he dreamt…

Broken inside, all hope seemed lost to him. Nothing seemed to lighten up to him, break him free from his mental bonds. Tears forced their way into his eyes, but they were invisible, just like his emotions, his life.

To Atem, school was another torture spot. He cared for nothing from his constant physical and mental abuse. He was trapped in a pool of darkness, being swallowed from the neck down, like poison. He was gagging from the pain and darkness, and only dreamt that he would be released. Only dreamt of being recognized and cared for, like any other teen. Support was all he desired, and it wasn’t coming that way for him.

The days were short for him. He only saw the terrible lights of life, and often feared others. He wouldn’t show it, however. If others saw it that way, it would be used to other’s advantages. He often kept to himself, and bottled the pain in his heart. So what if no one saw, he cared less. He always cared less about life.

Before he knew it, school had ended, and he was back in the House of Horrors, as he put it. Only memories of agony flooded his mind at the site of his shack of a home. The only place he could call home. If only someone could free him from his cage. As he would reach his home, it was the same procedure. Working until Mother came home, getting scolded for just about anything, and being starved, beaten, neglected, or worse…

Heavy sighs would escape from his lungs as he worked. The strains in his muscles were just minor pain. He had stabs in his heart that would never heal. Scars that would never disappear.

Suicide? Yes, he had considered it, but he saw it as pointless. He tried to redeem himself to his Mother, as well as his two other uncles that lived in his house, but no matter what he did, they were never impressed.

The only thing he learned from his family was to never give up. Only the weak and frail-hearted gave up on everything. He had his few happy memories to hold onto before his family fell apart. The memories of his father, whom would sing to him at night, cradle him in his arms, take him to the park…

If only he could reverse time. Atem could have saved his father from his death. If only he hadn’t been foolish at the time, when he was six, his father would still be here, preventing the pain he was feeling now.

Tears would flood his eyes at the memories of his father. The one who taught him so much on love and support. The only one who would whisper secrets to him, and often remind him how special he was. How he would always have a place in his heart for him, no matter what happened.

To relive his childhood would be so wonderful. Atem knew better, however. Everything was his fault, and he had to suffer the consequences for his past actions. So many forsaken memories drenched his mind after his father left him.

Atem’s mother came home early today, and presented her criticism towards her adolescent son. He learned to block most of the insults out, but some of them really got to him, and tore at his dying heart. If only others could feel his loneliness and pain. Maybe some of his teachers would lighten up on him at least a little, or he could gain a friend. But, he had learned before that friends were hopeless and couldn’t help you. They can’t save you from every fall, they can’t comfort you every time you hurt, they couldn’t shield you from the horrors of everyday life. It only occurred in dreams, and nothing more. Dreams and fairytales.

Atem often cried himself to sleep. He prayed to be strong and to face his enemies with more strength and determination, but he felt like he was being ignored by Ra. His father was Egyptian, and taught him of the ancient gods that ruled the times of old.

Every night he felt helpless and lost. He felt like a child who explored the woods in his backyard and had lost his way, and was waiting to be found by a loved one. Atem’s heart yearned for love and compassion, but where would he find those things? He was forgetting what they felt like, and it burned him on the inside.

Once dawn approached, Atem would always hope that today would be different. That today he would pull through and feel like someone. Feel significant in this world, like every human should.

He got to school on time today, but left his homework in his book. He didn’t attempt to do it. Why should he? He wouldn’t amount to anything, and he didn’t care what disapproval he obtained during the day. But, something interesting happened today.

“Class,” said the teacher as he clapped his hands together to gain attention. “I have an announcement.”

Atem rose his head wearily. He didn’t know why he even put any effort to see what was going on. He normally slept during these announcements.

“We have a new student today,” he finally said. He then led a young female into the classroom.

Atem couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She was taller than most, and her hair was neck length. She had sapphire blue eyes, a perfect body build, and that heart warming smile that wiped away any rainy day. An aura seemed to surround her, making her seem to possess a friendly personality.

“My name is Anzu,” she said, bowing respectively. Her voice sounded like that of an angel’s to Atem, but he didn’t show it. “I just moved here to Domino City a week ago. I like to dance, and I hope we can all get along.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Anzu,” said the teacher. “You can sit in the back row, in the center.”

The female walked towards the back of the room, the eyes of many following after her. She sat only a few seats away from Atem, but he tried to ignore that fact. There was no way that anyone would ever befriend him, let alone talk to him. He was the school reject, and many people preferred it to stay that way.

During the remainder of the class, Atem couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of her. He seemed to be drawn to her appearance, or perhaps it was the way she spoke, in that sing-song voice, or they way her eyes sparkled in the sun. Whatever the reason, Atem found her quite attractive.

After a while of staring at her, Atem rested his head on his desk. He couldn’t excite himself. She was going to be one of those more popular people, and she would be ignoring him, just like how everybody else did. She would end up acting just like the others, and he knew it.

A light touch on his shoulder aroused him from his light sleep. He jumped, then turned his head, eyes widening.

“Hello,” said Anzu, taking a seat beside Atem. “I’m afraid I don’t know you’re name. May I ask what it is?”

Atem looked away. “My name’s-”

“Anzu!” squealed one of the more popular girls, pulling Anzu away. “Don’t talk to him. He’s not worth anything, especially a talk with someone like you.”

Looking away, Atem cursed in ancient Egyptian. What did that girl know? If she had any idea of what he was going through…

“He has just as much right to talk to me as you do,” responded Anzu in a calm voice. “He’s a human, as much as you are, and he has feeling, as much as you do. I wouldn’t like it if others insulted me like that.”

The other girl was taken aback, and left Anzu without another word.

“Thanks…” muttered Atem gloomily.

A warm smile drifted onto Anzu’s friendly face. “No problem. Now, what did you say your name was?”

Atem sighed. “I didn’t have a chance to say. My name’s Atem.”

“Atem?” she asked. “What a unique name. What kind of name is it? Japanese, Chinese…?”

“Egyptian,” he said quietly.

Anzu nodded. “Wow, so that must make you an Egyptian then, right?” she asked.

Slowly nodding, Atem struggled to prevent himself from looking stupid. This was the first person to ever want to talk to him, and he didn’t want to blow it. This might be his only chance to talk to someone in his entire life.

“That’s cool. I never met an Egyptian before. That would explain your tan very clearly,” said Anzu, the calmness in her voice never leaving.

“How about you?” Atem finally asked, voice expressing his exhaustion yet shyness. “Where are you from?”

Anzu smiled. “I’m from Tokyo. But, everything started getting expensive, so we moved over here.”

Atem nodded. Joy was swelling in his heart. Someone was talking to his pitiful self. He hoped that this moment would last forever. Unfortunately, the bell rang, signaling for lunch to start.

“Well, I’ll see you around, alright Atem?” asked Anzu, as she got up to leave. “It was a pleasure meeting you.”

He just nodded, and looked away. He was at a loss for words. As he left the class and headed for the cafeteria, he only hoped that Anzu meant what she said, and would talk to him sometime. But, he didn’t rise his hopes. There was a fair chance that she wouldn’t talk to him again, once she conversed with others, and they would tell their opinions about him to her.

He wandered into the lunchroom, and sat himself down. He didn’t have anything to eat, as usual, so he just sat there and pondered on what to write when he got home. He then wondered what his mother would say if she found out that he had spoken to someone at school.

A seat was then pulled up beside him, causing him to jump. He then noticed that it was Anzu.

“Hey, Atem. I thought you would like some company, since you were all by yourself,” she said, her voice joyful.

Atem nodded, and looked away. He never spoke to others, so he didn’t know what to say without sounding like a complete idiot.

“Where’s your lunch?” she asked after a short while of silence.

“I don’t eat lunch…” he said, hugging his arms tightly. He was getting a chill up his spine, and he didn’t like the feeling one bit.

“Are you okay? You don’t look good…” said Anzu, voice filling with worry.

Atem nodded. “Just a bit chilly…” he said, voice barely audible. It was the truth, after all.

Anzu nodded, the worry in her eyes staying. Atem had never seen quite a sight like that before. No one had ever worried about him before. Perhaps it was deception of some sort. He wouldn’t want to be tricked into liking someone, then watch as they tie him down and stab him in the back. Trust had to be won, not just accepted, in his eyes, and he wasn’t going to trust this girl until she had proven herself worthy of his trust.

“Would you like some of my lunch?” asked Anzu finally, as she gave Atem an almost begging stare.

Atem shook his head. It could have been poisoned, for all he knew. He could live a few more days without eating, and he didn’t want to expose any weak points he might have had.

The rest of the day went by smoothly. Anzu was in his first three classes, and that was it. Atem was actually beginning to miss her talking to him, even though she only did it for a short while.

As he left the school grounds, he spotted some commotion. There was muffled yells behind the school, which perked Atem’s curiosity. He was often curious of things, but, like most of his expressions, he kept that hidden as well. His eyes grew wide at what he saw then.

Three teenage bullies had surrounded Anzu, two of them gripping one of her arms, leaving her vulnerable for the third member. Atem watched as she squirmed helplessly, trying to make her captives loosen their grip on her.

The third teenager approached Anzu slowly, a frightening smirk on his face. “Hey, pretty girl. Wanna have some fun?” he asked slyly.

“I’d rather not,” she said, a growl in her voice.

The teenager chuckled. “No need to get angry, cutie. We just want to… ‘play’ with you for a bit…”

Atem’s blood began to boil. They were going to hurt her, just like his family had done to him so many times behind closed doors and windows…

“Let me go, you freaks!” screamed Anzu, squirming violently.

“Hey guys, who wants to see her with her shirt off?” asked the third man, as he began unbuttoning her top, revealing her undershirt. “What a beautiful girl you are, sweetie. If you hold still, we just might not take your skirt off…”

Anzu’s face grew pale, and she kicked even harder. She didn’t want to get hurt like that. Not in a million years.

“Just hold still. We just have you’re undershirt now…” he whispered coolly, as he rubbed her sides with his thick fingers.

Atem couldn’t take it anymore. There was no way they were going to hurt her any way, especially like that. He ran towards the third male, and punched him in back of his head. He then slammed his body against the brick wall, and glared at the other two.

A look of relief crossed Anzu’s face when she saw Atem. She then watched as the other two ran away, fearing the fact that Atem would beat them unconscious as well. “Th-Thank you,” she said, wiping away a few tears of fright.

Atem merely nodded, and picked Anzu’s sweater off of the ground. “This is yours?” he asked.

The female nodded violently. “Yes, that’s mine. Thank you so much, Atem…” She then glanced away. “Would you like to walk me home tonight? Just to make sure no one else gets me like they did, I mean…”

The teen nodded, sighing. He just hoped that he would make it home in time before his mother or uncles got there and realized that he never came back. He wasn’t looking forward towards the punishment he would receive for his absence from the house.

Much to his surprise, Anzu lived a few blocks away from him, so getting home on time wouldn’t be too much of a hassle. He was even more surprised when Anzu’s mother asked if he would like to come in for a while. Atem had to say no, however. He said he had things to do, but in truth he didn’t. He just had to be home, and to look like he had been cleaning the entire time his family was gone.

Once he got home, he was surprised to find out he felt… different. He almost felt like a new person today. Like he was not alone. Whatever made him feel this way, he didn’t know. But he also knew that he couldn’t get his mind off of Anzu, no matter how hard he tried.

Before he knew it, he was in his room, writing in his dark blue journal. The one other ‘person’ that knew all of his thoughts, and often responded to his pain, well, in his mind anyways.

Dear Journal,

I just met a wonderful person. Her name is Anzu, and she is my age. She actually TALKED to me. Hard to believe, isn’t it? Whenever I am around her, I have this weird feeling. I can’t seem to get her out of my mind. What is this feeling I get when I’m around her?

That feeling, it’s so foreign. I wish I could place it under some sort of category. She makes me feel good, even though I barely respond. Perhaps I feel accepted, since I have never felt that way before. Oh, I wish I knew the feeling.

I know it can’t be love. It’s not at all like how my family tells me what it’s like. They tell me that all love is, is the way I feel when we are together, under those cursed covers. That’s just pain, so that must be how love feels. If love is pain, then why do others marry? Why do they seem so pleased to be in love? I just don’t understand.

Please Ra, help me understand. Please, father, help me understand… I need help…

Atem Yami Motou

Where are the people that accuse me?
The ones who beat me down and bruise me
They hide just out of sight
Can’t face me in the light
They’ll return but I’ll be stronger

Well, here’s the start of a new genre of writing for me. At the end of each chapter, I’m going to add a bit more of this song at the end. This song adds so much enthusiasm to my writing. Let me know how you like it as you Read and Review.