|The Warners vs Freddy
Author: ryhoyarbie PM
The Warner Brothers and Warner Sister want to make a new friend, and it's the slasher that gets people in their dreams.Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor - Words: 1,389 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 1 - Published: 03-31-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4167904
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I don't own Animaniacs. Mr. Spielberg and the good people at the WB animation studio do. I also don't own Freddy Krueger. Mr. Craven owns that character.
Dark, damp, nasty, depressing, and no it's not the small mind of Paris Hilton, its Fred Kruger's house.
The horror film star, the thrasher, the killer of all those young children from the neighborhood of Elm Street, from the town of Springwood, was sitting on an old, dusted, falling apart couch in the living room bored and trying to figure out what to do. After all, he had killed all the children on Elm Street and hadn't killed anybody in a good six months.
"I got to get out of this house and murder some unsuspecting little brat in his or her dreams!" Kruger muttered. "I can't believe it, but I think I'm actually going insane from boredom!"
Suddenly, without any warning, a small hole started to form next to Freddy. It started to get bigger and bigger until suddenly it was a pretty big size.
Freddy was puzzled and looked at the hole. "What the……."
Suddenly three puppy dog like children popped their heads out of the hole and looked around holding three shovels.
"I knew we should have made a right turn next to Joan River's old leftover botox," Yakko Warner said.
All three cartoon characters jumped out of the hole and into the arms of the dumbfounded and confused Freddy Kruger.
"Hellllllllllooooooooooooooo physically burnt all over the face nurse!" Dot Warner, the youngest sibling of the three and the only female of the group, said.
"Want to be our new friend?" Wakko Warner asked.
Kruger dropped the three children on the ground. "Who in the he………" Kruger was about to say before a bar of soap landed in his mouth.
"Watch your language young man," Yakko said. "Just look at the parental logo on the bottom." Yakko pointed out the 'G' logo or "general" programming for all audiences. "For shame, for shame."
"Who are you?" Kruger asked in a less vulgar manner.
"We're the Warner brothers," the two boys said.
"And the Warner sister," Dot added.
"And I'm too cute for words," Dot said. "But call me Dottie and you die…………again."
"Do you know who I am?" Kruger yelled at the three Warner children.
Suddenly, Wakko Warner pulled out a gigantic sized mallet and hit Kruger on top of his head, rendering him senseless for a few seconds while little birds flew around his head.
Kruger finally shook his head and looked at Wakko. "Why'd you do that?"
"You asked an irrelevant question which causes me to bop you on the head with me mallet," Wakko answered smiling with his tongue sticking out.
Freddy was started to loose it. "I'm Freddy Kruger, the dream boogey man that kills you in your sleep!"
"Well I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the Third," Dot told Freddy her full name. "Mom and dad were creative that night they named me!"
Kruger was mad, filled with anger. He flashed his razor like blades trying to scare the three children. "I can destroy you with my glove!"
"Does Michael Jackson know you stole his idea?" Yakko wondered.
Dot grabbed an oversized pair of scissors from out of no where and cut the blades off. "All better."
Freddy nearly flipped. "My blades, you cut off my blades!"
"Well some one had to," Dot said. "You really should trim your nails more often."
"Yeah, just look at mine," Wakko said as he showed the long set of nails from both sets of hands. The long nails were filled with green, brown, and black colors, mixed with some old food, some bugs playing tennis, a ferris wheel going around, and a piece of paper that said 'The Real Presidential Election Winner of 2000'.
"Get out of my house!" Freddy yelled at the three Warners. "Out! Out! Out! Out!"
"Why, why, why, why!" Yakko mimicked.
Dot jumped in Freddy's arms with big puffy eyes about to cry. "Do you not want us anymore?"
Wakko grabbed onto Freddy's right leg and started to beg. "Oh come on, we're not that bad. We're house broken!"
Dot shook her head. "Um Wakko."
"Oh yeah," Wakko said. "Well they're potty trained and I'm still trying to learn. Honest I am!"
Freddy, outraged, dropped Dot and kicked Wakko off to the side. "Get off of me."
"I'm sure your dates say the same thing," Yakko said as he sniffed Freddy. "When's the last time you took a bath?"
Freddy grabbed the three kids, walked towards the front door, opened it, and kicked the three out. But to his surprise, he flew across the dead lawn and ended up in the street where he thought the three Warner kids would be. "Blasted kids. It's never been this rough before."
Freddy marched right back to the door and opened it. To his surprise, the entire house and been redecorated, with brightly painted walls, new wallpaper, new carpet, and new furniture.
"Now this place really did need a woman's touch," Dot replied putting a fresh flower on the coffee table right next to the couch Freddy was sitting on where he encountered the Warner's.
"My house!" Kruger looked around the room upset. "What did you do to my house?"
Yakko put his right arm around Freddy. "Hey, it was this or pictures of naked girls all over the place. And guess who won that bet." Yakko pointed to his sister Dot who was smiling.
"Boys, go fig," Dot responded to Yakko's comment.
Kruger grabbed his head in frustration. He started to run and headed towards the cellar. He opened the door thinking he wasn't being followed and the three Warner's appeared in front of him. "Ahhhhhh!!" Freddy yelled.
"Were you about to sneeze but couldn't?" Yakko sarcastically questioned. "I really hate those."
Kruger slammed the door and ran up the stairs. "I got to get away from those crazy…….what ever those things are."
Freddy got in a room, locked the door with a key, then found a bigger lock and put that on the door, then found a drill and metal strips and nails and drilled those around the door and finally poured some quick drying cement on the door.
Satisfied, Freddy turned around and saw the three children. "Ahhhhhhh!!" He said and jumped on the chandelier hanging from the wall.
"You know you really should get that checked," Yakko said pointing out the second time Freddy screamed.
The Warner's looked at Freddy.
"Come on down from there," Yakko said.
"No! Kruger said. "You kids are crazy!"
Suddenly Yakko was dressed in a suit, while Wakko was behind a podium similar to that of the show 'Jeopardy', while Dot was in a dress looking like Vanna White wearing a brown wig. All three were on a brightly lit game show set.
"You're right!" Yakko said as he grabbed a microphone acting like a game show host. "And sister sibling, tell the man what he won."
"A weeks paid vacation at any resort across the contiguous United States," Dot replied. "With us!"
"Oh please, just leave me alone!" Freddy begged.
All three Warner siblings were dressed in their normal attire now looking at the villain.
"Looks like he doesn't want to come down," Wakko observed.
"I got just the trick," Dot said as she pulled a small box. "My pet will get him down."
Dot opened the lid on the box and out popped a gigantic sized version of Elmo, the red furry monster from 'Sesame Street'.
Elmo looked at Freddy, who was shaking. "Elmo loves you!"
Finally Freddy screamed, jumped to the floor, dashed through a nearby window in the room, jumped to the lawn, and ran as fast as he could away from his house and the Warner siblings.
Yakko, Wakko, and Dot looked out the window as they saw Freddy run in terror.
"You know we loose more new friends that way," Yakko said as Wakko and Dot nodded in agreement.