A/N: Finally some much needed down time and heart-to-heart time for our dear boys. :) More to come of course, but rebuilding after everything they've been through will be a gradual (and of course not all together smooth :D) process. Still... the journey has begun. Big thank you to YenGirl for letting me use some of her wording / ideas / turns of phrase in parts of this chapter.

Chapter Twenty-Two: "Finding One Another Again"

Pale morning sunlight filtered through the partially open drapes, the growing brightness muted to a soft, comfortable level for vampire eyes by the tint of the windows as they automatically darkened to match the level of light striking them.

The muted light seemed to softly illuminate the features of the young man lying unmoving on the large, comfortable bed. Pale skin and silver hair were contrasted only by the lighter cream of the ultra-soft, pure Egyptian cotton sheets and down-filled pillows upon which and under which he rested. The light from the windows did not actually touch the bed, as that would be uncomfortable for its occupant, but the luminous, reflected glow was a trick of the room's architecture, painting the room in soft, golden light that made the sunrise magical without the UV levels that were disturbing to creatures of the night.

Long fingers brushed softly against the sleeper's silky hair. Kaname could not resist touching Zero lightly as he adjusted the sheets over the unconscious hunter's chest. The ex-human was absolutely beautiful in this light, like a renaissance angel slumbering on a milky cloud. A faint, wry smile touched the pureblood's lips as his fingertip trailed across one of Zero's ear cuffs, fashioned into the shape of a little silver skull. Okay... so the hunter's multiple piercings and Goth taste in jewelry kind of clashed with the angel analogy. A rebel angel then... he had to be, after all... considering his lover was more likely to be compared to the devil.

Quietly, Kaname slid down to sit in the comfortable armchair pulled close near the foot of the bed. He pulled the soft, fleece blanket draped over the back of the chair down around his shoulders, letting it settle comfortably around his easily chilled and softly aching body. It was late, and he was tired, but this was the only place he wanted to be. Even if Zero didn't know he was there. Even if the hunter continued to lie there, unmoving as the earth, moon and sun went through yet another rotation.

Zero had been in a coma for almost two weeks now, ever since the day of the flood. Once at the hospital, with the doctors standing by, Aido had carefully thawed the ex-human before passing out himself and ending up occupying the bed next to him in the recovery ward for a little while. The doctors had been able to resuscitate the ex-human, keeping him on artificial life-support until his own body was able to start picking up the slack once more and begin functioning and mending on its own. Aido had recovered quickly with a little sleep and he and the other nobles of Kaname's inner circle all took turns sitting with Zero while he remained in recovery, making sure he was never alone.

Kaname had found all this out later, of course. He'd been more or less unconscious or delirious for almost three days himself. Takuma had taken him back to the Academy and sequestered them both in Kaname's rooms, not leaving his side that entire time. It was a vigil of care and friendship, but also one of watchful protection. It was not for naught that vampire law dealt so strictly with anyone who harmed a pureblood, considering how rare they now were. Their blood and their flesh was the deepest temptation any vampire could ever encounter. Vampire instinct was the instinct of a predator. Like sharks smelling blood in the water, it could override all reason. Normally, no one would dare even think of touching a pureblood because of their power, because their own innate will was constantly at work on those around them even without it being conscious. It was a part of their natural defenses. But a weak, unconscious pureblood had no such defense and was left hideously vulnerable. Takuma remained watchfully on guard the entire time. He refused to sleep until his friend was out of danger. Fortunately, Kaname's condition was a well kept secret and there were no unpleasant incidents.

As soon as Kaname was conscious of course, he had wanted to see Zero. The pureblood was both pleased and touched to find Aido and Kain actually hanging out in Zero's hospital room when he arrived. He had entrusted them with his most precious treasure, and they had kept that trust very well.

Kaname's power and Aido's intervention had saved Zero's life, but the hunter had yet to awake. It had been touch and go at first, but his prognosis was stable now. Stable enough that Kaname had been able to take him out of the hospital to somewhere much more comfortable and private. The doctors said there was nothing physically wrong with him anymore... he simply did not wake. The general consensus was that his body just needed the time to recover from the unusual, unprecedented strain that had been placed upon it, both by the flood, and by bridging with Kaname. Once that consensus had been reached and Zero's condition was declared stable, the doctors' memories had been quietly altered to omit the parts that Kaname did not want known, such as the presence of the blood seal. Only one doctor, who remained in residence with them here, still knew all about Zero's condition – until Zero woke and that would no longer be necessary. The doctor, a vampire noble, fully understood he would not be allowed to remember the details of his current patient once treatment was terminated. It was the will of a pureblood and he had no objections. He was certainly being well remunerated for his time.

There was some concern, of course. Kaname's power was still bound to Zero. For the moment, that had helped him, enabling him to recover from utilizing a level of ability that a formerly human body was never meant to be able to handle. If he did not awake soon to release the seal, however, there would come a point when the increased power level would begin to cause damage, burning the ex-human's body out like a candle bearing too hot a flame. There was a little time yet, before that became an imminent danger, so the pureblood was determined not to borrow trouble.

Kaname settled back in the plush chair, watching Zero quietly. It was comfortable here, in this room he'd specifically appointed for Zero. He'd tried to furnish it to the hunter's tastes rather than his own, just... perhaps a bit more on the luxurious and decadent side. Zero had complained sometimes, that Kaname's rooms at school seemed dark to him. Of course, Kaname liked it comfortably dark, but he knew it wasn't just the level of lighting. Zero did not necessarily seem at home in the same elegant Victorian trappings and enigmatical environment that the pureblood favored. This room, although comfortably shielded from the sun, had a distinct hint of both practicality and airy lightness to it and was tailored towards comfort, with padded leather chairs and couches, soft cotton bedclothes and diaphanous drapes and bed curtains that were whimsical without getting in the way of being functional. To be truthful, Kaname wasn't too sure he knew Zero's tastes all that well, but he'd done his best to set this room up in a way that reminded him of the hunter and they could always personalize it later. It had given him something to do, anyway... during these long days. When Zero did wake up, he wanted him to feel like he was someplace he could learn to call home.

Ironically, in so doing, Kaname had come closer to finding some place that he could try to think of as home than he had since his parents died. The peacefulness of the gentle sunrise and of the sleeping figure on the bed dulled the ache in the pureblood's bones and he slowly let the weariness that was his constant companion have its way, lulling him towards a light slumber.

It was early afternoon when the silver amethyst eyes of the sleeper on the bed slowly blinked open.

For a moment, Zero thought he'd missed his alarm, because it was clearly light outside. Then he remembered he didn't have to get up in the mornings anymore, so really, it was the middle of the night... day... whatever. Then he wondered where he was, because he clearly wasn't in his dorm room. Not Kaname's dorm room either. He'd never seen this bed before, with its four tall cherry wood posts rising up to support an open canopy top above, draped with tasteful cream hangings that complimented the rest of the bed clothes. It was probably the softest, most luxurious thing he'd ever been in in his life, but he had absolutely no memory of it, or how he got here.

Zero shifted, pushing up against the pillows. The longer he was awake, the more strangely antsy he was starting to feel. Like he'd recently drunk a vat of coffee and topped it off with a few dozen candy bars. There was a funny headache gnawing at the back of his mind too, he now realized. The ex-human's gaze wandered around the unfamiliar, but decidedly gorgeous and comfortable feeling room, before quickly lighting on the dark haired figure near the foot of the bed.

A soft, warm smile tugged unconsciously at Zero's lips.

Kaname was asleep, seated in a chair, but leaning forward now so that his arms were folded on the bed, his head pillowed on them as he slumbered, dark hair tumbled about his face and over his arms. A blanket rested on his back, slipping slightly down one shoulder.

Upon seeing Kaname, everything came back to Zero. The rain, the flood... the last desperate moments in the water before there was nothing but waking up here. There was a momentary jolt in the pit of his stomach at the recollections, but the atmosphere was too peaceful for fear and with Kaname sleeping right there... Zero could only assume that somehow everything had worked out all right.

It felt so strange though, the complete difference between his last memories of disaster and destruction and his current comfortable, indulgent surroundings. It was almost like some kind of dream or nightmare. That wasn't the only thing that felt strange, either. As his gaze continued to rest on the pureblood, Zero drifted back to the things said before the flood had consumed their attention and energies. That part, he definitely did not want to be only a dream.

Everything seemed so surreal somehow and it was a little hard to think or concentrate, although he wasn't sure why. Kaname had said things to him by the river in that brief lull before all hell had broken loose. Said things about their relationship... about actually being... friends... and... well, Zero didn't really know what they were – friends with benefits? That seemed so cliché. But the important thing to his heart was that they were not a pureblood and his ex-human whore. Zero hadn't had much time to fully absorb that truth yet, but in a way... the chaos that had followed after had helped him grab onto it anyway. He remembered little distinctly from when he and Kaname had been mentally connected as they held back the water... yet the feelings and impressions that remained went a long way towards being subconsciously reassuring of the pureblood's sincerity.

"Kaname?" Zero murmured hesitantly, hating to wake him up, but thinking that sleeping in the chair like that couldn't possibly be all that comfortable.

The pureblood didn't stir and Zero's smile quirked a little more. Well, well, well... sleeping beauty was resting unusually sound today. Kaname was normally a very light sleeper. Zero started to ease out from under the covers... then paused a moment, quickly remembering to take stock of how dressed he was or wasn't. He had a rather embarrassing history of waking up naked in strange beds whenever Kaname was involved. Not this time though. He was wearing pajama pants and a short sleeved pajama shirt that were made of the same, deliriously comfortable material as the bed sheets.

Zero still didn't know where he was, but he assumed he and Kaname must be guests somewhere. This definitely had the feeling of being somebody's home, not just a hospital or a hotel. Perhaps at some point he would try to find out from the owner of this room what kind of material this was. Probably something hideously expensive and out of his budget, but still... it was very nice. He enjoyed the silk and satin sheets for which Kaname had a penchant, but there was a particular softness to this fabric that especially appealed to him... Zero caught himself and was surprised that he apparently felt relaxed enough in these surroundings to actually spare a thought to such things when waking up in a strange bed in some unknown vampire's house. Probably the fact that Kaname was sleeping at the foot of the bed had a large part to play in making him feel safe here. Wherever here was.

Zero slid out from under the covers, feeling the soft, plush weave of the carpet under his bare feet. It was a good thing it was so plush, because to his surprise, he suddenly ended up on his hands and knees on that carpet, his legs apparently having forgotten how to hold him. Or maybe his balance was off... Zero wasn't sure. He shook his head. The almost sick, giddy feeling was making it harder and harder to think and his limbs felt shaky and weird as if he'd not used them in weeks.

He realized he was thirsty too, in more ways than one. Getting back up onto the bed was significantly harder than getting out had been and Zero had to catch his breath once he was there. Okay... so standing not such a good idea right now. Instead, Zero scooted down the bed a little until he was near Kaname. The fact that the other vampire hadn't stirred through all this would have been worrisome to Zero if his head had been a little bit clearer.

Zero trailed his fingers slowly through the pureblood's silky brown curls, playing with them where they lay against the other's right cheek. "Kana-me..." he murmured again, drawing the pureblood's name out in an amused manner. Zero's fingers traced the pale column of the pureblood's neck, brushing the hair away from it.

His fangs were throbbing slightly and the desire to simply lean down and slide them into that familiar, exposed neck was very strong. It would be a deliciously pleasant way to wake Kaname up, too... but something made Zero hesitate. Something... off about the pureblood that he wasn't quite clear enough yet to put a finger on, but it unconsciously engaged his protective instincts. Closing his eyes briefly, Zero resisted. Given what was still bound to him, it was surprisingly easier to do than usual, but he didn't quite mark that fact, nor understand why he felt the way he did.

Kaname stirred at the touch of Zero's fingers, turning his head slightly into the hunter's hand with a contented expression as if he were having a pleasant dream. Then the dark, graceful eyelashes fluttered open and he blinked once or twice as he realized it wasn't a dream.

Kaname sat up quickly, joy and relief clearly visible in his eyes as he took in the sight of the hunter sitting on the bed before him. Very much awake and alive. He had too many images of Zero looking otherwise in his memories, and the pureblood leaned forward quickly, coming up onto the bed with Zero so he could wrap his arms around him in a tight hug. Zero was okay. He really was okay... He felt the embarrassing urge to cry, although he managed not to. Just barely.

There was no moment of hesitation, Zero wrapped his arms around Kaname in return, hugging the other vampire as tightly as his still strangely shaky limbs allowed. He was relieved too. His last conscious thoughts had been of trying to keep the pureblood safe... it was good to have him in his arms now, in one piece. And the look Kaname had just fixed him with... it went straight to the hunter's heart and made his eyes sting strangely as well.

"Are you okay?" Kaname murmured worriedly against Zero's neck. "Do you feel all right?" He pulled back so he could get a better look at him, hands sliding down Zero's arms.

Zero nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Kinda dizzy and wobbly," he admitted. "But not too bad for probably being half drowned. How long was I out?"

"Two weeks," Kaname told him with a slightly amused tone. "And you were a little more than half drowned..." The pureblood was wearing a loose white shirt that was only partially buttoned. The cuffs were undone, and with his hair slightly disheveled still from sleep he made quite an endearing picture. But there were dark circles under his eyes that should not have been there, and a weariness in the slump of his shoulders that was disturbing the hunter. Had Kaname been that worried? Or was it something else?

The shock of the pureblood's answer distracted Zero for the moment, however. "Two weeks?" he echoed in surprise. That was longer than he'd expected. A couple days maybe, but weeks? "Exactly how more than half-dead was I?" he inquired incredulously. He tilted his head; Kaname was holding himself a little oddly, almost as if he was trying to keep the left side of his face in shadow.

"Try just about completely." Kaname could smile about it now, because the danger was past, and he was sitting here, talking with Zero about it. The sheer relief of seeing the hunter awake and acting so normal almost made him dizzy, but also put him in a very good mood. "Aido had to freeze you so you'd make it to the hospital in time. You made a very lovely popsicle by the way." There was a very subtle but definite glint in his dark eyes that seemed to add and you know what one does with popsicles...

Zero grimaced, shooting Kaname a dry glare and attempting very hard to miss his less innocent implications. "Oh. Great," he tried to absorb the idea of being frozen and not be weirded out by it. "Guess that's better than mouth-to-mouth at least..." he was being sarcastic, but the look on Kaname's face told him he should have kept his mouth shut.

"Actually... he did that too..." the pureblood remarked mildly, immediately giving Zero mental images that made his eyes widen slightly and his ears flush. Oh crap... it was probably going to be impossible to resist flushing again next time he saw Aido and that image came to mind.

Kaname's amused smile grew wider. Takuma had given Zero CPR too, but it was more amusing somehow with Aido. He shook his head. "He saved your life, Zero," he added quietly, more seriously.

"Okay, guess I won't kill him then," Zero muttered, but the look in his eyes was soft.

"That would seem a bit ungrateful," Kaname agreed in the same mild, deadpan conversational tone that he tended to use to very good effect.

Zero reached out and cupped Kaname's left cheek in his hand, turning the other vampire's face fully towards him for the first time. "What about you, Kaname? Are you oka-" Zero didn't finish. His fingers had found a rough, out of place line marring the pureblood's normally smooth skin. Turning Kaname's face into the light, the hunter's brows knit suddenly in concern. What in the...

A faint, but distinct pink scar ran down the left side of Kaname's face, from cheekbone to chin. It was the same line that the willow branches had cut into him, Zero remembered that. But... but...

He was unintentionally staring at Kaname in soft shock and the pureblood dropped his gaze, turning his head a bit and self consciously covering the scarred side of his face with his hand as if it was a hideous disfigurement. For him, it was. It didn't matter how thin and faint... a pureblood bearing scars was a disgrace.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, as if his appearance might have somehow offended Zero. "Don't... don't worry about that..."

But as Kaname lifted his hand to his face, the loose, unbuttoned cuff of his sleeve slide down his arm and the shock in Zero's gaze turned to concerned horror. He caught Kaname's arm, pulling his hand gently away from his face and pushing his sleeve further up his arm. The pureblood made as if to resist, then seemed to decide against it with a resigned, pained expression. He hated Zero to see him like this, to see him maimed and... ugly... but it was not as if he could hide it.

Thin pink and white scars crisscrossed the pureblood's arm in jagged, misshapen lines, disappearing under his shirt. The shirt was only partially buttoned, and Zero reached out, pushing it open a little wider... allowing him to see several similar marks marring Kaname's chest as well. The pureblood looked like he had been slashed up badly and had not healed well.

Kaname had been slashed up badly. Zero vaguely remembered the river, the debris... the broken tree he had found the pureblood trapped and tangled up in... but why had he not healed well? That had been two weeks ago, apparently, and Zero had never seen scars on Kaname's body before... even when he'd had his chest shot to pieces once; he'd healed without a trace.

Kaname tried not to let it ache too deeply as Zero stared at him. Long sleeved, high collared shirts and his own long hair hid the scars that the river had left him with from everyone else, but he'd not felt the need to hide them here, in Zero's room, with only the previously unconscious hunter for company. To be honest, he didn't actually think that Zero would be seriously put off by the scars, even if most vampires would be. At least... he hoped not. But it was still hard, and he was so much more afraid of seeing distaste or disgust in his lover's eyes than he could admit. Even the doctor hadn't been able to hide an initial reaction of revulsion when he'd seen them. Kaname had had to let the other vampire examine him when he realized the marks weren't going to just go away, but he quickly had decided it was a mistake. The doctor now had no memory of that incident. Still, Kaname couldn't blame him... an imperfect pureblood was almost like a form of sacrilege.

Kaname's gaze was averted, a soft, self-conscious unease radiating from him and Zero suddenly worried that the pureblood might misconstrue his surprise and concern for something else. Vampires were very vain creatures in his experience, putting quite the premium on perfection and beauty. Normally, that irritated or amused him, but in a situation like this...

Going with the instinct of his heart, Zero gently pulled the pale arm he was holding closer to him, bending his head and softly touching his lips to the thin, slightly puckered lines of scar tissue. He turned his gaze up to fix on the other vampire and there was very clearly no distaste or remote hint of revulsion in those amethyst eyes. The marks made absolutely no difference to him.

It was the right thing to do. Kaname's body relaxed visibly and a deep, tender warmth glowed quietly in the depths of his dark eyes. Zero really didn't find him repulsive like this... He shivered softly at the touch of Zero's lips on his skin, almost ready to forget that there was anything wrong at all under the power of that light caress.

"How... why?" Zero whispered. The scars themselves did not disturb him, but whatever caused them, whatever underlying problem they might signify did and he was worried.

"It's nothing." Kaname tried to shrug as if it did not matter. Gently, he brushed Zero's hair back behind his ear, letting his fingers linger against the seal on his neck. "I bound a lot of my power to you," he replied honestly. "Without it, my body does not seem to be quite... itself. But do not concern yourself too much; I am sure that with time they will eventually disappear."

In truth, the past two weeks had been more difficult than Kaname would let on. His condition was an anomaly. Strength-wise, he should probably have been equivalent to a noble class vampire, but it wasn't that simple. He was a pureblood and draining his life-force didn't make him a lower class, it merely made him weak. A weakness his body was proving ill prepared to deal with on a daily basis. It was like constantly being ill... or old. His bones ached, his head ached and he felt tired and cold all the time. He could not go out like this, he could not be seen like this... not only was it seriously dangerous to let his personal and political enemies know he was this vulnerable, but the image of weakness it presented would irreparably damage his standing and his ability to command respect. Besides, he was finding that his immune system was very delicate without his usually amped up healing to protect him.

All of this meant that Kaname had been a virtual prisoner for the past two weeks. He saw no one on a daily basis except for Seiren who had returned and was managing the house and security for him. The servants knew not to disturb him and did not find it odd that they never saw the reclusive pureblood. Takuma, Kain, Aido and the others would have been there all the time if allowed, but they respected that Kaname wished to be alone, and really did not like to have people around him in his current state, even his friends.

Still... it had not been all unpleasant. If this was a prison, it was a beautiful one. Kaname had purchased a lovely, secluded villa deep in the country to which he could retreat and bring Zero while the hunter convalesced. Two weeks of solitude had given him ample time to get the place in order and completely redone to his tastes.

Zero winced slightly as Kaname's fingers brushed his neck and he found that the blood seal behind his ear was tender, almost painful to the touch. As Kaname's words sunk in, the strange way he was feeling suddenly made sense. Understanding filled Zero's eyes and his hand rose quickly to his neck, covering Kaname's. Guilt flooded him.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized softly, feeling a little sick as he realized that Kaname must have had a pretty rough time of it while he was unconscious. Not healing right... unable to reclaim that which he had poured into the hunter... Quickly, Zero's fingers nudged Kaname's off the tender spot on his neck, replacing them with his own. He pressed his other hand to Kaname's chest, obviously about to release the seal on the spot.

"No!" Kaname quickly grabbed Zero's hand, pulling it off of his neck before clasping it a little more gently in his own. "You mustn't release it all at once. Both of our bodies have become too adapted to the state they are now in. It will have to be released slowly, or the shock could be damaging." Damaging for Zero, not for Kaname, but the pureblood didn't bother to specify.

"Oh..." Zero frowned uncertainly.

Kaname couldn't help the slightly tender light that danced in his gaze. Zero hadn't even needed to hear the part about "Oh, by the way, if you remain exposed too much longer you could end up with the IQ of a vegetable". Realizing that missing this much of his strength was hurting Kaname was enough to make Zero willingly rush to release what many vampires would have literally killed to obtain. Yes, that was Zero. Kaname knew now that his previous fears had been unfounded. Yes, he was supremely vulnerable to Zero and he couldn't change that, but the hunter would not betray him, it was not in his nature.

"I'm not sure how to partially release it..." Zero admitted slowly. He thought it was an all or nothing proposition.

"I'll show you," Kaname assured. "But not just yet. You only just woke up. We should give it a little time before making any changes." Much as the pureblood ached to return to normal, he wanted to be careful. He had waited this long, he could certainly wait a little longer to be sure that Zero really was ready to handle the transfer.

The pureblood was still worried about him, Zero could tell. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes and gave a resigned sigh. "I feel fine Kaname," he protested. "And will probably feel much better once I'm not drowning in your overflow..." He looked around the room, remembering a question he'd had before and almost forgotten in the face of everything else. "Where are we, anyway? Whose room is this?"

Kaname's smile grew visibly, almost... eagerly. "This is your room, Zero," he said quietly. "Do you like it? I had it done especially for you."

Zero blinked in surprise. "Mine? But... where?" he repeated, not sure what else to say.

Kaname explained where they were, and about purchasing the villa and Zero's eyebrows crept slowly higher. Wow... he was out of it for a few weeks and Kaname up and bought a house and apparently moved them into it... Zero honestly wasn't quite sure how he felt about that, but the fact that Kaname had obviously tried to craft such an inviting atmosphere for him and put so much thought into it was touching.

"Actually this whole set of rooms is yours," Kaname gestured to doors that disappeared off onto a hidden study and other rooms. "Mine are a little further down, towards the other wing. If you don't like them, we can change the..."

Zero shook his head, interrupting and giving Kaname's arm a small squeeze. It was endearing actually, the way the other vampire was almost rambling. "They're really nice, Kaname, really nice. I wouldn't change a thing," he assured with a small, slightly floored smile. That wasn't quite true... Zero probably would not have chosen quite so much drapy, hangy stuff, but it was a very small matter, and on the whole, he was actually quite surprised by just how appealing Kaname had made this area.

Perhaps what touched him the most though was what Kaname was giving him besides just walls and furniture. This space, these rooms... it was a place just for him. The pureblood hadn't simply moved him into his room and expected him to be okay with that. That acknowledgement of his individuality somehow meant a lot to the ex-human.

Kaname stilled at Zero's touch, his eyes smiling quietly, glad that his gift had been well received. "We can return to the Academy when we are ready," he added after a moment, not wanting Zero to think he was trying to make too many changes in their lives all at once without consulting the hunter. "But we can't live there forever. Perhaps, if you like it here, we might spend some time here too..."

Zero wasn't quite ready to think about something as far reaching as forever right now. His head ached and he was trying to process quite a lot at one time. Kaname had obviously had weeks to think about all this, but Zero was still trying to grasp the fact that it wasn't raining, they weren't dying, and that... Kaname wasn't going to bind him. For him, it seemed only hours since he'd thought his whole world was ending. This was a beautiful, wonderful change... but it was hard to get his head around it and really accept it, hard to trust it. Not that he didn't trust Kaname, it was just... it was a lot all at once.

Kaname seemed to read in Zero's face that the other boy was looking a little lost. His brows furrowed slightly. He'd not meant to overwhelm Zero, he'd just... he'd missed him so much. He'd done a lot of thinking these past weeks, but maybe he needed to explain some of it to the hunter. The pureblood realized with an inner wince that he was using the term "we" quite a bit without knowing if Zero wanted to be considered part of that or not.

Deep down... Kaname didn't want to ask. Because asking opened him up for rejection, and he... he knew now he couldn't go on if Zero wanted to walk away from him. But the pureblood had also learned something from the mistakes of the past. He'd been trying to guard his heart all along... and had not only failed utterly and caused himself a lot of pain instead, but he had also ended up hurting Zero and making him think he was little better than a whore. That was unforgiveable. He did not want to make the same errors again, even if it meant he had to let his heart be vulnerable.

"Zero..." the pureblood's eyes were soft and serious now. He cupped the hunter's cheek in his hand, looking at him like nothing else mattered or existed. "I'm not saying you have to want to be here, I... I fear I'm not explaining myself well," he murmured. "I've not explained myself well where you're concerned in a long time, and I'm sorry about that. I've expected you to understand what I think and feel without ever telling you and that wasn't fair of me. I don't want to do that anymore..."

Zero was caught by the depth of the pureblood's gaze. His heart hitched strangely. He deeply wanted and yet almost feared whatever it was the pureblood was trying to say. "Kaname, you don't have to..."

"Yes, I do. Hear me out, please," Kaname said gently, pressing his fingertips lightly to Zero's lips to still him. "There are things I need to say to you, Zero. Things I should have said all along. While you were unconscious, I've had a lot of time to think. So much pain and misunderstanding has been caused because I was too proud or too afraid to tell you what you mean to me. I want you to know what you mean to me."

Kaname shifted a little on the edge of the bed to better face the hunter, and Zero watched him, captured by the incredible warmth in those dark chocolate eyes. Despite himself, his breath almost caught.

"I need you, Zero," the pureblood said softly, his hand sliding into Zero's, fingers curling around his. "It still scares me to admit it, but it's true. And it's not just because we're bonded... it's because I treasure you. I trust you. I trust you to tell me what you really think when others only flatter, even if I don't want to hear it. I treasure your courage and your selflessness, how you always put everyone else first. I trust, and treasure your heart, which would make you stand up for even a pureblood vampire who was your enemy and your rival, when he was weak and hurting. I... I care about you, very much," he murmured tenderly, a warm, supreme openness in his eyes.

Zero should have felt embarrassed maybe... but he wasn't. The affection in Kaname's eyes was like water on the dry, aching sponge of his heart and he soaked it up softly, hardly daring to believe.

"I don't understand what all this means, Zero. I feel like that's a shortcoming, like I should have all the answers, but I... I don't..." that was a hard admission, that he was not in control or on top of this situation between them, but he needed to say it, and from the look in Zero's eyes... Zero had needed to hear it.

The hunter continued to hold Kaname's gaze. Somehow, it was deeply reassuring that he was not the only one who felt frustratedly clueless sometimes. He wasn't alone. They were both of them lost in something bigger than they understood... but they were lost together, so perhaps... that meant they weren't really lost at all, but simply trying to find what was the right path for them.

"But I do know that it hurts me, when you're sad. When you wanted to kill yourself, I... I didn't know what to do. I was in despair." Kaname continued. His voice showed the hopelessness he felt then, hurting at his lover's unwillingness to go on living, to keep him company and to take his bitter loneliness away.

"I want to be a reason for you to live..." he whispered, his voice a little hoarse now. "Not another reason for you to hurt. I understand what it is to lose everything, Zero. Maybe not the same way as you have, but I do understand how deeply it hurts, how very alone it makes you feel. I wanted to help, not make you feel even more alone, although... I know now I did. When I realized how much I hurt you when I lost control, I..." Kaname's voice cracked and he had to stop to swallow, his eyes filled with anguish at the memory. "I wanted to die," he finished in a whisper. "You have no idea how much I hated myself."

Zero shook his head, a sheen of tears filling his eyes. Kaname knew the instinctive comfort that the hunter was trying to convey to him and it forced from the pureblood the courage to continue.

"In the flood, you told me I didn't have to do everything alone. That means a lot to me, Zero. When you let me near you, it gives me hope. When you share yourself or your blood with me, it leaves me in awe, wondering what I've done to receive that amount of trust from you."

Zero was staring at him, stunned, hungrily drinking up each word as a small wondering smile blossomed on his lips. Kaname saw that smile and it warmed his hurting heart like nothing else could.

"When you smile at me, Zero... I'm happy," Kaname finished simply. It was an admission of how much his happiness and state of mind, hell, any part of him pretty much depended on the hunter, but Kaname didn't care anymore. If he was not safe with Zero, then life was not worth living. But somehow, he felt he was safe. He was handing Zero his heart. He expected nothing in return, but the truth was, Zero already held it, and Kaname wanted him to know that.

"You will hear much about "your place" from other vampires," the pureblood whispered. "But I want you to know that your place is not beneath my feet or kneeling in front of me... it is by my side. But only if... you want it to be."

Zero's heart was tight with so many emotions he felt his body could hardly contain them. He swallowed several times, trying to get back the ability to speak. Kaname's words spoke to everything his heart craved, everything he had conciously or unconciously desired and never dared to hope for. He blinked to try and hold back the moisture in his eyes, but a single tear escaped despite himself. He rubbed it embarrassedly from his cheek, unable to help sniffing softly.

"I... yes," he murmured hoarsely. "I... I do want it to be." The whispered confession was very soft, but deeply meant. It was what his heart burned for, what it desired so deeply he didn't know how to put it into words. "Even when I thought... you were going to bind me, I didn't want to leave you. And later, when we were in the river, I realized I didn't want to die, I wanted to live... because I wanted to see you again. When you're looking at me like this... I – I feel like I own the whole world," he whispered. I care about you too, Kaname.

Zero almost flushed again. It was hard for him to say those kinds of things, but he wanted to say them, he needed to say them. Kaname was right, miscommunication and trying to hedge their bets had already cost them both far too much. Kaname had been very honest with him just now and he wanted to return that trust. As unthinkable as he would have once thought it seemed... he knew he wanted this pureblood in his life. He may not know yet what all that might mean... but that didn't matter. He needed him, and he was deeply, beautifully touched to find out how much Kaname needed him in return.

Kaname's smile turned brilliant even as his own eyes filled with the soft emotion of unshed tears. His heart ached with adoration and relief. Zero did want to stay with him... he did care. He leaned in and kissed Zero's eyelids tenderly, tasting the salt of the tears he was trying to hold back and feeling them on his thumb as they escaped silently down the ex-human's cheeks.

Zero's arms slipped around his back and the two of them held onto each other again for a minute or two, foreheads resting together, just soaking up one another's presence after all the hurt and trauma of the past weeks.

Zero felt profoundly at peace like this, yet he was starting to feel increasingly dizzy too. It had been growing while they were talking, but it was now impossible to ignore. The lightheadedness that had been plaguing him was taking over and his body slackened in Kaname's embrace, sliding back towards the bed even as the pureblood's arms tightened to support and hold him.

"Zero?" deep concern had come back into the other's voice. Zero blinked as if hearing him from a great distance off. He realized he was shaking.

"I'm okay..." he murmured, although he clearly wasn't. "I just... I feel so weird. Like I want to climb the walls, but I'm so tired..." Zero pressed his eyes shut, trying to stop the room from spinning. "My head hurts..." he whispered, pain creasing his face softly as Kaname held him close and gently laid him back against the bed again. "A lot," he added, breath starting to quicken from the mounting pain.

Kaname felt worry clutching at him as Zero looked like he might pass out again. They couldn't risk that happening, he was obviously experiencing distress from the overload. It looked like they could wait no longer. Kaname drew Zero back up towards the top of the bed and settled him down comfortably on his back against the pillows once more.

"We need to start releasing the seal now," Kaname said gently. "Your body can't handle this indefinitely." The pureblood unbuttoned his shirt the rest of the way to make things easier. He sat next to Zero on the bed, leaning slightly over him.

Zero felt like he had a migraine now and it was almost impossible to think. "Okay," he murmured trustingly, ready to do whatever Kaname told him to. He pressed the fingers of one hand against the seal on his neck and Kaname guided the palm of his other to rest against the pureblood's chest.

"Just repeat after me, Zero..." he instructed and the hunter gave a small nod. Kaname had had plenty of time to look up how to gradually release a seal while the hunter was unconscious, having known that this moment would eventually come.

"I release to you, that which I hold..." Kaname said the ancient words slowly, giving Zero time to murmur each phrase after him. As he did, he felt a growing tingle of warmth between the hunter's hand and his chest.

"Given in trust and returned willingly..." Zero was familiar enough with the ancient tongue to loosely translate the words in his mind as he repeated them. "Let my touch bring you fullness, as yours brought to me. Life into life. Soul into soul."

Zero felt the pureblood's skin warming under his palm and his gaze deepened as it held Kaname's, faithfully whispering the words he was given. He knew it was just a charm that Kaname was guiding him through, but in some small way... it felt like some kind of vow, or promise. Let me always try to fill your heart the way you fill mine...

Kaname was so lost in those deep, silver-amethyst eyes fixed on him that for a moment he almost forgot to finish the charm. Zero... "So may it be," he finished in a whisper, and Zero echoed.

A deep, strong current flowed between them. The power stored in Zero's body flowed outward from his palm on Kaname's breast. The pureblood's chest hitched as the intensely welcome warmth of it flooded into his aching body and he drew in a deep, slow breath, his lips parting slightly in a shivering sigh.

Zero felt the headache gripping him begin to ease mercifully, and the jitters making him tremble eased as well. After a moment though he began to feel faint in a different way, a chill starting to spread through him.

"Enough," Kaname whispered, carefully drawing Zero's hand away from his chest and laying it back on the bed when he saw the other starting to pale. They had only transferred a little power, and Kaname ached incredibly for the warmth of Zero's touch... but this needed to be handled carefully.

"It's begun. To release power from the seal now, you have only to touch me and let your will control how much flows between us when you do. Take it slow, Zero, please..." he requested softly. He didn't want the hunter hurt any further. "We don't have to do this all at once, we can do it little at a time and take breaks in between."

Zero nodded. He was recovering quickly from that most recent bout of faintness and he reached up to softly touch Kaname's chest again. Kaname made as if to stop him, but Zero caught his gaze. "Kaname... trust me," he murmured and the pureblood slowly relaxed, watching him closely, but trustingly.

Zero knew Kaname was worried, but the pureblood was being over cautious. Zero felt better with the release of the seal. He would be okay if they took it slow, he was sure. If all he needed to do was touch Kaname... it was not a very hard task.

His hand pressed against the other's warm skin, the gentle touch turning into a soft caress as Zero felt the warmth flowing again from his palm and fingertips. He wasn't really sure how to let his will control it, but he found that if he moved his hand, if he stroked the silky, pale skin, then the transfer seemed to happen more slowly. Zero's breath caught lightly at the incredible sensation of having life itself swirl from his body into that of the other vampire. True, it was Kaname's power, his life that he was merely returning... yet it still felt incredibly special somehow.

Kaname's breath left him in a softly shuddering sigh at the power of Zero's caresses. They naturally filled him with warmth, but the added sensation of having his strength returning to him through that gentle touch was indescribable. He gazed down at Zero in complete adoration as the hunter traced the line of his sternum and then slid his hand up to caress the pureblood's neck.

Kaname felt his limbs go weak when Zero's fingers trailed over his bite area, infusing that sensitive location with the warmth and power flowing between them. He had to put his other hand down on the bed, beside Zero, to support himself, his head hanging slightly, chest heaving softly. Zero's mere touch was undoing him in more ways than one.

Zero's hand slid away, falling softly back to his side. He had to take another break. It was delicious doing this... but it also wore him out quickly. It felt good to give the power back, both because of Kaname's intensely beautiful and thirsty reactions, and because he was already feeling more like himself again. But Kaname had been right. He did need to take this very slow. Prolonged release threatened to make him pass out from the concentrated outflow. As long as he stopped and let himself adjust for a few moments in between though, it seemed to be all right.

He was becoming more tired, however, to the point where even lifting his hand was an effort. "Kaname..." he whispered. "Could you lie beside me? I think it would be easier that way..." For both of them, probably. He could see Kaname's arm trembling as he tried to support himself.

Kaname ached at the loss of Zero's touch, but he tightly controlled his reactions, knowing that Zero needed to take breaks and not wanting him to push himself. He smiled at the other's request and shifted to do as asked. Lying on his side next to Zero, his dark hair fanning on the creamy pillow, Kaname reached out and caressed the other's silver hair lightly. He could not touch the hunter's skin without initiating transference, but he needed to touch him. "Take your time, Zero. There's no rush," he assured in a slightly husky whisper.

Zero rolled onto his side to face Kaname. The way the pureblood's left arm rested against the bed between them exposed the soft, scarred underside of his forearm. Zero pushed the sleeve a little further up, and once more touched those scars with his lips. He caressed them, kissing the wounded skin tenderly as he let the power flow between them once more. His moist lips and tongue gently traced and worried the uneven lines, feeling the texture and adoring them silently.

Kaname seemed surprised. He groaned softly, finding the areas around the scar tissue to be very sensitive. Zero's attentions were beautiful, but he still ached a bit at having such an imperfect body to offer the other. "Zero... don't..." he murmured hoarsely, barely able to breathe. "They're... they're ugly..."

Zero looked up at him, truly nonplussed. "Idiot..." he murmured softly. "You got these saving others' lives... how can that be ugly?" He reached out and tenderly caressed one of the scars on Kaname's chest, leaning forward and kissing it softly before looking back towards the pureblood again. "I think they're beautiful," he whispered honestly. "Like your heart."

Zero leaned closer again, tenderly kissing and caressing the scars on Kaname's chest. Adoring and lavishing each one attentively, letting the warmth of his sincerity mingle with the warmth of the releasing seal. Maybe the rest of the vampire world would see them as ugly, but Zero did not. Maybe they would see Kaname's gentle heart and willingness to put himself in jeopardy for those whom society deemed less worthy to be weakness or insanity... but Zero knew better. That heart was a treasure, and it was what had first drawn him to Kaname. The rest of the vampire world could just go to hell.

Zero's lips were warm and soft against Kaname's skin and the pureblood groaned softly, fingers lacing in the hunter's hair and caressing his arm despite his efforts not to touch. Zero saw things so differently from everyone else... and Kaname adored him for that. The hunter filled his heart and soul in impossible ways.

Presently they forgot caution, lost in the simple, incredible warmth of touching and tasting, in the power that was flowing between them. Zero felt contented, leaden weariness settling over him, but it was a delicious feeling, like he had been out exercising in the fresh air for hours and was now able to relax in comfortable satisfaction.

The skin under his mouth was smooth now, although he'd been contentedly kissing the same scar above the pureblood's right nipple for the past minute or so. Lifting his head a little, Zero realized that the mark had disappeared and he smiled deeply, laying light, butterfly kisses against the warm skin, moist from his kissing and sucking. He supposed it was probably because Kaname was getting his strength back and his body was starting to mend itself that fast, but in his current relaxed, hazy state Zero rather liked the idea that he'd eased it away with his caresses. That wasn't too far away from the truth actually, since it was his touch that was feeding the pureblood's energy back into his body. If only he could erase all Kaname's scars that easily. The visible kind... and the invisible kind. That would make him truly happy.

Kaname was lost in a beautiful sea of Zero's gentle touches and kisses, and the achingly wonderful sensation of feeling like a whole person again. Not just because of his returning power, either. Zero made him whole.

Zero shifted, laying his head on the pillow beside Kaname's and tilting the other's head a little so he could reach the thin, ribbed line that snaked across his cheek and jaw. Wrapping an arm around Kaname's waist, Zero kissed and caressed the scar from cheek to chin with slow, adoring thoroughness, feeling it fade and smooth under his touch. The last warm, clear memory he had was of Kaname's perfectly healed skin, and the deep, intense affection and awe in the pureblood's garnet eyes before gentle darkness reached up with velvety but unyielding hands and pulled the hunter down into its peaceful depths.

Zero passed out quietly in Kaname's arms, although it was more like falling into a very deep sleep. Kaname could feel that his vitals were strong so after an initial moment of concern, he relaxed. Rolling Zero a little closer towards him, he kissed the blood seal behind the hunter's ear. It was still in place and still visible because it had not been fully depleted yet. Kaname did not intend for it to become so either. With his lips pressed against the seal, Kaname murmured the invocation to stop the slow-release of power. He had gotten back everything he needed from Zero, the rest was what he'd already given the ex-human to keep.

Kaname's body felt full and strong. He felt blessedly warm and content for the first time in weeks. He was also deeply exhausted. The return of strength had oddly enough been almost as exhausting for him as for Zero... or maybe his body simply knew it needed to shut down in order to fix everything that had been left untended the past two weeks.

Curling up with Zero, holding the hunter close, Kaname let his dark eyes drift slowly closed, memorizing the peaceful; sleeping lines of the dear face on the pillow beside him before sleep gradually claimed the pureblood as well.