|How to Put the Bun in the Oven
Author: ohwhatsherface PM
SasuSaku. Fact of life, never get lessons in love from two idiots who are relatively foreign to the concept.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Sasuke U. & Sakura H. - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,881 - Reviews: 197 - Favs: 470 - Follows: 110 - Updated: 08-15-08 - Published: 04-01-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4171288
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Title: How to Put the Bun in the Oven
Pairing: Sasuke Uchiha/Sakura Haruno
Theme set: Beta
Rating: M, maybe… One line was pretty dirty… more so a strong T
Warning(s): PICK UP LINES, and innuendo – but only in the first bunch
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
When he asks her out for the fiftieth time – she had been keeping count – and she finds it in her to drop her guard for a moment and say yes, and thus, he seems ecstatic, almost as though he were ready to literally jump for joy.
There were many, many things Naruto was – an idiot, a klutz, a loudmouth – but he most certainly was not – unlike (thirteen-year-old) Sasuke, a Blind and Ignorant Fool who wasn't able to See something great despite how many times it was shoved in his face (literally).
Love is a battlefield, Sasuke finds out as Sakura tries to put her defences up when he asks her out again, telling him that it'll take a lot more than sweet smiles and pick up lines to charm her – he needed strategy.
He passes a jewellery store on his way to training with Naruto and the happy picture of a woman crying in joy and a man slipping a ring on her finger makes Sasuke wonder if Sakura will cry the same way when she accepts.
And she does – accept, that is (just for a date, though), seven months into his awkward attempts of courtship, in a situation not at all romantic or fabulous or particularly memorable – just an accidental shout of "Would you just let me love you, you crazy woman?" and "For god's sake, I might just wanna spend the rest of my life with you!".
Sometimes he watches her and he can't help but smirk whenever he thinks back on his awkward and pathetic tries at making her fall in love with him – again – but the smirks always turn into genuine – secret – smiles when he thinks about how those awkward and pathetic tries were definitely worth it.
Sakura wonders if any of Sasuke's fangirls would ever do something as drastic and rash as kill themselves or attempt to harm her if by the very, very, very, very unlikely – HA! – chance she says 'yes' to one of his marriage proposals.
Sometimes, when he watches Naruto's attempts at wooing Hinata and the way she merely brushes the blonde's default idiocy aside, Sasuke painfully remembers the way Sakura used to do the same for him and then he realizes how stupid he was to push her away.
"Dude, I'm totally serious about this!" Naruto crows between snorts of laughter, as he equips Sasuke with an acoustic guitar and shoves a rose between his best friend's lips, "Girls absolutely love it when guys sing to them!"
It takes eight months of awkward courtship, a year of pointless – in Sasuke's opinion – dating, and a month and a half of engagement to lead up to this day, and still, Sakura's father isn't too fond of him, so when the elder Haruno asks his baby girl, "Sakura-hime, sweetheart, are you absolutely sure he's the one, because Daddy can get rid of him for you, if you want," he knows for a fact that the man is not joking.
Sakura gives a disgusted frown to the fridge in her new home with Sasuke – grimacing at the too-many tomatoes, the mouldy-looking cheese and the milk that sounded rather chunky when she shook it – and thinks that maybe she should do the groceries from now on.
After coming home from his mission, he leans against the doorframe and sees her with a hand on her swollen stomach, assuming she is alone and saying to the child, "You're going to be a strong one, aren't you, just like your Daddy – although I hope you're not as annoying as he is, because hun, he's annoying – although he always says I am annoying so I guess you being annoying is pretty inevitable, isn't it… hm…"
By her seventh month of pregnancy, she is forced into bed rest and she is not happy, thus, she takes her anger out on Sasuke for knocking her up, forcing the once Proud and Dignified shinobi to draw her bubble baths, make her waffles and rub her feet.
It takes a while for her to build up the trust to actually let him hold the baby when it – he – is finally born, all red and puffy and not-exactly-that-cute because she fears for her son's future – what if Sasuke dropped him on his head and he turned out like…well, Naruto?!
When Sasuke goes through his monthly period – 'few days of angst' – Sakura rubs her newborn son's cheek and coos, "Sweetheart, you better not turn out to be an antisocial hermit like your father or mommy will be very, very angry."
Sasuke sullenly finds there's nowhere to run and accepts his doom the first – and last – time he drops his son – by accident – when the boy is eleven months old and Sakura is across the room, staring at him in shock and absolutely rage while soothing the baby and promising her dear husband painful retribution.
Naruto knows better than to get involved when Sasuke and Sakura and in the middle of one of their annoying lovers' spat, thus he simply lets them fight and takes their son out for a walk because he'd rather not have his godson scarred for life due to his parents' er, methods of making up.
When their second son comes around three years later, Sasuke panics because the boy's hair is a dark, dark shade of magenta – almost like black – and he fears that it'll become pink, but Sakura simply waves a hand uncaringly, telling him to shut up because it's fine.
Sasuke will never admit it but he feels most content at night when he is surrounded by his sleeping family with Sakura cuddling against his side, their oldest son lying on his chest and the newborn in his bassinet beside the bed.
Watching Sakura kiss the oldest boy's knee when he scrapes it and is crying, Sasuke is almost jealous of her skills as a parent; he is strangely reminded of the time they were tree-walking because like that, parenting came to her naturally.
Five years after the second, when Sakura is pregnant with their third – a little girl this time – she has a habit of going on a walk after vomiting at five in the morning, sitting down at the edge of the dock and staring at the horizon as the sun rises, thanking whoever it was up there for her wonderful family.
After the little pink-haired girl is born and she is staring up at him with curious eyes, Sasuke takes his two boys out for training and works them to the ground, claiming, "You have a sister now – if any boy comes near her, you will be strong and you will get rid of him," to which both nodded obediently and replied, "Yes, father!"
Sometimes when he comes home from a mission, Sasuke would go to the kids' room – the boys begged their mother to let their little sister room with them – and watch the trio sleep soundly, silently vowing to protect their innocence for as long as he could.
Sasuke has no problem undermining Sakura authority when she takes away dessert, her way of trying to be strict with the boys – ("You painted the Hokage Mountain – and you drew breasts," the boys snickered as their mother ranted, "on the Rokudaime-sama's face!") – because his darling wife simply took her anger out on him later on in the night… in the bedroom.
Losing to Sasuke on the battlefield called Love is the only fight Sakura has no problem admitting she lost whenever she sees her husband raising the pitch in his voice to play 'dollies' with their daughter, proudly grinning at their youngest son when he hits all the targets and watching with elation in his eyes when their eldest has mastered a new jutsu – she has never been so happy.